So Not My Problem
by Sarah1281
Summary: All Revan wanted to do was stay alive and try to get with Bastila, in that order. He doesn't want to save the galaxy and he's not looking to help everyone he meets. Tragically, he's surrounded by hero types that keep trying to drag him along for the ride.
1. Trask's Completely Pointless Death

So Not My Problem

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR

Revan was sleeping rather fitfully when his door flung open and quickly slammed shut again. "Wha-?"

"Revan!" a fit blond man cried. "You overslept! You've slept in so late you missed meeting Bastila!"

"…Bastila?" Revan asked blankly as he sat up. Did he know any Bastilas? He didn't think so. And why was he supposed to be meeting with her anyway? He certainly doubted that he would have set a meeting with her in the morning. And why would this man have been sent to go get him? He didn't know him and so wouldn't have asked him to wake him up. Even if he had known him, he didn't believe in other people waking him up. Had this girl sent him? Why couldn't she go herself if it was so freaking important?

The blond stared at him in confusion. "Yeah, you know, Bastila. The reason we're not all dead right now, Battle Meditation girl…"

"Sorry, still not ringing any bells," Revan apologized half-heartedly. He really was a little distressed that his lack of memory was making this take longer than it should.

The blond rolled his eyes and sighed. "That girl you said was hot from the party last Thursday."

Revan's eyes lit up. "Ah, **Bastila**. Why didn't you say so?"

"But…I did…" the blond insisted helplessly.

"Whatever," Revan dismissed the claim. "So what did she want?"

"I'm not sure," the blond admitted. "But it sounded important."

"I'm pretty sure that I never arranged to meet with her and if she arranged to meet with me then she never thought to let me know so how is it that _I'm_ apparently late to meet with _her_?" Revan demanded.

"I don't even know," the blond said, shrugging. "It's really not my department. How about you ask her when you see her again?"

"Well, she _is_ really hot. Oh, why not? I'm awake anyway. Let's go then!" Revan jumped to his feet, only to fall over again once a huge crash rocked the ship. That was kind of embarrassing. "What the hell was that?"

The blond smacked his forehead. "Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the ship is under attack."

Revan climbed to his feet again and grabbed hold of something to steady him before he closed his eyes and counted to ten very slowly. "Why didn't you mention that when you first got here? Like, you know, anyone with half a brain would do."

"I'm not sure…" the blond said, sounding puzzled. "I fully intended to, but for some strange reason when I got here I felt a strange desire to start things off by waking you up and reminding you that you slept in so late you missed meeting Bastila."

"Even though I wasn't actually late to meet Bastila?" Revan inquired.

"I guess so," the man agreed.

"Well, alright then," Revan said a bit uncertainly. "Hey, since you seem to know so much about me, I might as well ask: Who the hell are you? How did you get in here? And why are you drooling?"

"I'm Trask," Trask introduced. "I came through the door and you're half-naked."

"But you're a guy…" Revan pointed out.

"I've noticed," Trask said dryly.

Revan shrugged. "Just so we're clear. What I meant to ask was how did you get through the door? I could have sworn I locked it…"

"Oh, you did," Trask assured him.

"Then…how…?" Revan asked.

"Well, my first bunkmate was homophobic so he got a room change," Trask explained.

"And they just let him?" Revan asked, surprised.

"They weren't going to," Trask explained. "But after he gave a twelve-hour speech on why he couldn't _possibly_ room with me and wouldn't let anybody leave to go to the bathroom, they decided they _really_ just did not care enough and let him get his way."

"And so you came here?" Revan concluded.

"Not right away, no," Trask said, shaking his head. "My next bunkmate didn't think opposite genders should room together and the third guy just didn't trust me."

Revan didn't really see the problem. "So?"

"No, I mean REALLY didn't trust me. Used to lie awake all night to make sure I wasn't attempting to give the Sith codes to our shield system or whatever. And he thought my teddy bear was a bomb!" Trask exclaimed.

That was oddly specific and so Revan just _had_ to ask. "Well, was it?"

"That's not the point!" Trask said quickly. Too quickly. And why wasn't he just denying it like a normal person? No, there was definitely something very wrong with this guy. Revan frankly doubted that they were even bunkmates.

"Actually, given our current situation I think that that is _extremely _relevant information," Revan argued. "In fact, it might be the most important information of all. After all, if you're some kind of Sith spy then escaping with you is likely to get me captured or killed. Or betrayed again and some inopportune moment."

"_Completely overreacting_," Trask said again, completely avoiding the question. "And you're interrupting my story."

"Sorry that my concern for not getting captured or killed by the Sith is interrupting the flow of your narrative," Revan said sarcastically.

"Normally, I wouldn't forgive you so easily," Trask confided. "But we're kind of on a time-crunch and I really would like to get through this so you're off the hook."

"Lucky me," Revan said indifferently, looking towards the door longingly. "Are you _sure_ we have time for this?"

Trask glared at him. "If you're so concerned about the time then maybe, and this is just a suggestion, you should stop interrupting me!"

Revan sighed. "Whatever."

"And so I decided to crash with you because my assigned bunkmates weren't quite working out," Trask said, effortlessly picking up where he had left off and actually confusing Revan a little since they'd wandered quite a bit from the story earlier and so he was having a little difficulty remembering what Trask had said before that. But that was alright, really, since he didn't actually care.

"But how did you know my password?" Revan demanded. Maybe that wasn't such an important thing to worry about _now_ but it did greatly disturb him and he'd like to know for future reference.

Trask snorted. "Please. 'Vrook must die' is NOT all that hard to figure out."

"Well, it worked for everyone else!" Revan said defensively. Especially since, contrary to what his password might indicate, he was actually quite a vocal Vrook fan. Sure, the guy didn't actually like anybody ever but he could be quite amusing about it. Completely by accident, Revan was sure, but since when did that matter?

"Whatever, let's just go. Do you need any help putting on your clothes?" Trask asked innocently.

"Uh…that's okay…I think I've got it covered," Revan said awkwardly. "Seriously, it's not like I'm brain damaged or anything. Why would I need _help_ with something as simple as that?"

"No, of course not!" Trask said hastily. "Now come on! It's a lockdown so I'll have to unlock the door."

"But…it's MY room," Revan pointed out.

"So?" Trask asked blankly.

"So I know the password!" Revan burst out.

Trask ignored him and opened the door. Upon taking two steps out of the room, he was hit with a hail of blaster fire.

"Trask!" Revan cried out in horror. "You can't die! You haven't told me how to find Bastila yet!"

"Nice to see you're so concerned," Trask said dryly. "But I'm fine."

"But…you just got hit dozens of times!" Revan said, a little lost.

"No, I got hit four times," Trask corrected. "The war's really dragging on and so new recruits were needed pretty quickly so marksmanship was one of the first things to go."

"I see," Revan said. "But even if you only got hit four times, why aren't you dead? Or at least wounded?"

"Most blasters, you need to get hit at least ten times before you die," Trask explained, raising his gun and beginning to fire on the Sith in front of him. "As such."

"Wow, those blasters suck. At least this vibroblade should be nice and quick, just a little stabbing and-" Revan began.

"Actually," Trask cut him off. "People tend to use those to just cut at the opponent until they die, usually in at least ten hits."

"Wow," Revan said, shaking his head incredulously. "I don't know if these weapons suck or you guys just suck at using them."

"It's probably both, actually," Trask offered.. "Now get over here and help me if you're so convinced you can do better!"

Revan shrugged. "Alright."

A few carefully aimed shots later, the Sith were all dead. Of course, so were the Republic soldiers they were fighting, but that wasn't Revan's fault and they were clearly too useless to live anyway, so it's not like he really cared.

The communicator went off then and Trask looked at Revan expectantly. "Well, aren't you going to answer it?"

Revan shrugged. "Yeah, there's no one I really want to talk to right now and we're kind of under attack so now really isn't the best time…"

"It's probably someone going to ask for help or give a status report or something important like that!" Trask exclaimed.

"Oh, well if somebody needs help than I _definitely_ don't want to talk to them and if it's that important you can get it yourself," Revan told him bluntly.

"Maybe I will," Trask said angrily, activating his communicator.

"What took you so long?" a bearded man in an orange jacket demanded. "Seriously, who the hell takes two minutes to answer a communicator in an emergency?"

"Well, since it's an emergency did you ever stop to think that maybe we were in the middle of a fight or something?" Trask challenged.

The man on the screen blinked. "No, actually, I did not. Were you?"

"…So not the point!" Trask cried out.

"Okay then…I'm Carth Onasi and you need to get to the bridge to protect Basti- wait…I recognize you!" Carth burst out. "You're that guy who was trying to give the Sith our access codes! I bet **that's** why we're under attack!"

"Gotta go," Trask said quickly, switching off his communicator.

"What was that about you selling us all out to the Sith?" Revan asked suspiciously.

"Oh, who even knows," Trask said tiredly. "That was the paranoid bunkmate I was telling you about earlier."

"You did say he was right about the teddy bear bomb," Revan reminded him.

"Can you accuse me of being a Sith some other time?" Trask pleaded. "In case you haven't noticed, we're UNDER ATTACK!"

"Alright," Revan agreed reluctantly. "But I've got my eye on you!"

"The hell?" Revan complained. "There's no one _on_ the bridge!"

"Not now that you killed the half a dozen Sith that were there, no," Trask agreed.

"Since Bastila's clearly not here, can we just go?" Revan asked. "She's either made her way off the ship or she's too stupid to live."

"Since Battle Meditation doesn't require a keen intellect, let's not take our chances," Trask said, shaking his head. "Let's keep looking!"

"You're going to get us both killed," Revan accused.

"No one's **forcing** you to come with me, you know," Trask replied.

"True," Revan agreed. "But I don't actually know where the escape…pods…are…that's it! Bastila probably tried to leave so we should check there for her."

"You're just trying to get me to leave, aren't you?" Trask asked suspiciously.

"There's no time for suspicions, isn't that what you said earlier?" Revan said quickly, breaking into a sprint. "Bastila needs us!"

"Alright, alright…" Trask said, racing to catch up. He stopped suddenly in front of a perfectly innocuous-looking door. "There's a Dark Jedi behind this door."

"You mean Sith," Revan corrected automatically.

Trask gave him a strange look. "I know they're Sith. I meant specifically, Sith that use the Force. Dark Jedi."

"A Dark Jedi _is_ a Sith," Revan argued. "That's the very definition."

"No, the definition of 'Sith' is 'anyone who followed Revan and now follows Malak'," Trask countered.

"Look, we're in a hurry so let's not argue semantics even if I'm totally right," Revan decided. "What makes you think there are Sith behind that door?"

Trask shrugged. "Just a feeling, I guess."

Revan's eyes widened in horror. "You're not about to get all Force Sensitive on me, are you? Because trust me, the **last** thing we need is an adult miraculously completing training that's supposed to take years if not decades taking a month or two. Seriously, that never ends well."

"What happens?" Trask asked curiously.

"They fall in love and inevitably they, their love interest, or an illicit child of theirs falls to the Dark Side," Revan explained. "Besides, if word got around it were that easy to make somebody a proficient Force user, nobody would want to be a Jedi anymore because the Order is insanely controlling."

"You sound like you know a lot about the Jedi Order," Trask noted.

"No more than most people," Revan disagreed.

"Whatever you say…" Trask trailed off, moving towards the door.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Revan demanded.

"I'm about to open this door," Trask explained, sounding as if he were talking to a particularly unintelligent child.

"I know _that_," Revan said indignantly, "but why? You're just going to get yourself killed!"

"Well, it's not like we can just ignore the fact that they're there," Trask attempted to reason.

"I don't see why not," Revan shot back. "They haven't come after us so far. If we make a break for it, we would stand a much better chance of surviving than if we confronted them."

"You are such a coward," Trask accused, sounding disgusted. He defiantly pressed the button to open the door.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" a tall bald man wielding a red lightsaber asked sardonically. Two Sith stood at his side. "Two little Republics out for a little stroll?"

"It's no use," Trask said sadly. "This is Darth Bandon, Malak's apprentice. We're no match for him."

Revan's eye twitched. "We already knew that before you opened the freaking door!"

"There's only one thing to do," Trask said virtuously, ignoring Revan. "Tell my wife I love her. For the Republic!"With that, he ran straight at Bandon, vibroblade held high. He thoughtfully shut the door behind him, but Revan could imagine what was happening in there.

"Moron," Revan said, shaking his head and continuing the way he and Trask had come, hoping it would lead straight to the escape pods. "And how am I supposed to know who your wife is? You never told me your last name." He paused. "And didn't you say you were gay?"

Revan was distracted from his growing confusion and annoyance about his temporary companion's death by the communicator going off again. "What?" he snapped.

"Hey, you're not Trask! Who are you? Did you kill him?" Carth demanded.

"Of course I didn't kill him!" Revan growled, offended. "Not that I wasn't tempted…"

"Then what happened to him?" Carth challenged.

"Idiot attacked Darth Malak's apprentice head on for no apparent reason," Revan responded.

"That does sound like him," Carth mused.

"How did you know anything had happened to him anyway?" Revan inquired. "Maybe I just chose to answer the communicator this time."

"You and I are the only two people alive on the _Endar Spire_ so it was pretty clear that something had happened to him," Carth explained.

Revan started. "What? We're the only two alive?"

"Kind of morbid, huh?" Carth asked.

"Well, yes, but that wasn't what I meant. I killed every single other person on the ship except for Trask who was killed by a combination of Sith and his own idiocy?" Revan couldn't believe it.

"It would appear so," Carth confirmed.

"But what about the three Stih that just killed Trask?" Revan asked. "That was like two minutes ago! There's no way they had enough time to get off the ship."

"Look, all I know is that you are the only other person the computer says is on the ship. The ship which is going to blow up any minute now. There's only one escape pod and if you're not here in the next five minutes, I'm am SO leaving your sorry ass to die," Carth said flatly.

* * *

Four minutes and fifty-three seconds later, Revan burst through the door and nearly ran into Carth.

"Hey, watch it," Carth complained.

"Carth? You know when you told me we were the only two people left alive on the ship?" Revan asked pleasantly.

Warily, Carth nodded. He didn't really trust his fellow survivor, but then again he really didn't trust anyone. After all, if one person he thought was a friend turned out to be evil then everyone he ever met could conceivably be a Sith, right?

"How did you forget to mention the _eight_ Sith standing right in front of the door and attempting to break in? You'd think that was relevant information," Revan said, crossing his arms.

Carth shrugged sheepishly. "My bad? Oh, wait, I just thought of something! Sith aren't actually people and so I was right when I said that there were no people on board besides us."

"That's a little judgmental, don't you think?" Revan asked rhetorically.

Carth glared suspiciously at him. "Defending them? What are you, a Sith?"

Revan shook his head. "No, I just…oh, never mind."

"I'm watching you," Carth warned.

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	2. I Can't Help it if I Have Kleptomania

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Revan blinked uncertainly as he sat up. He was in a bed, which was good, but he didn't recognize the surroundings, which was generally a bad thing in his experience. Best case scenario he had had a one-night stand but what was the point of that if he wasn't going to even remember it? And while it his head was admittedly killing him, it didn't really feel like a hangover.

"Good, you're awake," a semi-familiar voice said, sounding relieved. Revan glanced over to see it was that Republic guy, Carth, that he'd met right before escaping the…whatever that ship was called. "With the concussion you got from that crash-landing, you've been out for almost a week."

"Wait, what?" Revan demanded, stumbling to his feet. "You're never supposed to let someone with a concussion sleep! I could have been in a coma for all you knew!"

"You clearly weren't given you're awake now," Carth pointed out. "Or at least if you were you got over it."

"Just because it worked out doesn't mean that couldn't have killed me!" Revan cried.

"Deal with it," Carth advised. "And I thought I ought to mention that when I said that we were the only two people alive on board the _Endar Spire_, what I meant was we were the only two non-Sith. I really should have made that clearer."

"Okay," Revan said slowly. "Except how the hell could you tell which signs of life were friendly and which were hostile and if you knew it was only the two of us – and Trask before he had Bandon assist in his suicide – why didn't you tell us Bastila wasn't there so we could leave?"

"So we're on Taris," Carth announced brightly, completely ignoring the question. "You probably could have guessed that seeing as we were attacked right above the planet, but I wouldn't want there to be any unnecessary confusion given your head injury. It's a pretty great planet if you're human."

"And if you're not?" Revan asked curiously.

Carth hesitated. "As much as I hate the Sith and think anything even remotely connected with them is the embodiment of evil…a non-human on Taris would probably do better joining up than trying to make it here."

Revan winced. "That bad, huh?"

Carth nodded. "I know. From what I can tell, things have started getting better for them since the Sith arrived since they don't care about the local population equally. It's a sad, sad day when the likes of the Sith are bringing about much-needed social change."

"Too true," Revan agreed. "So what now? We've got to get off of this planet as occupations usually involve a lot of fun-killing."

"Fun-killing?" Carth repeated uncertainly.

"You know, curfews, commandeering the local alcohol supply, claiming sections of the planet as their own…" Revan trailed off.

"Not to mention the killing of Republic soldiers," Carth added.

Revan cocked his head. "Do I really count as a Republic soldier?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Carth asked, bemused. "You were listed as official Republic personnel on a very important ship."

"Yeah, but I only joined up because I wanted a date with the recruitment officer," Revan told him.

"…How did that work out for you?" Carth asked, uncertain he wanted to know.

"Very well, in fact," Revan smirked.

"Either way, you're still a Republic soldier no matter your motives for joining and as we may very well be the only two in any position to do anything…we've got to find Bastila," Carth decided.

Revan nodded. "I agree, getting off the planet it – wait, find Bastila? Why?"

"Because she's the Republic's only hope!" Carth reminded him. "Don't you pay any attention at all?"

"Yeah, I knew that," Revan defended, electing not to mention that the only reason he did was because Trask had seen fit to yell at him for the same thing but a week ago. "But if she's so high-and-might and a Jedi to boot, can't she take care of herself? I mean, you managed to get us a place to stay and hide us from the Sith despite the fact you had to deal with me while I was unconscious."

"We can't take that chance," Carth said firmly. "If Bastila dies – or God forbid, defects – so do we."

"Would it really be so bad to be a Sith?" Revan wondered. "What are their benefits like?"

"I'm sure I wouldn't know," Carth said flatly. "But I hear their retirement package is a lightsaber to the gut."

Revan winced. "I would not like that. At least with the Republic, they give you a watch. Fine, finding Bastila it is. So do we have any leads?"

Carth shook his head. "I couldn't really leave the apartment much in case someone came by while you were out. This is an abandoned apartment complex populated by criminals and non-humans so it's not exactly the most secure of places."

"So we're just going to wander around aimlessly looking for any sign of her?" Revan asked incredulously.

"Do you have a better plan?" Carth snapped.

"For finding Bastila? No," Revan admitted. "And I will concede that should we manage to somehow stumble across her, having a Jedi with us should make escaping significantly easier."

"Who knows?" Carth asked rhetorically. "Maybe the Force will 'guide us' or something and we'll find her right away. Since it looks like we're going to be travelling together until we either die ignobly or we reach the first planet that's at least neutral, I should probably know your name. It would certainly make a background check easier…"

"What was that?" Revan asked suspiciously.

"I said 'I can't keep calling you other Republic guy since we're on a hostile planet'," Carth lied.

"That's not what it sounded like," Revan argued.

"Well it was," Carth insisted. "So who are you?"

"My name is Revan," Revan introduced, then immediately ducked as Carth started firing on him. "What the hell? I get you're paranoid, but shooting a guy for telling you his name? Isn't that a bit much?"

"For the Dark Lord of the Sith?" Carth shot back. "I don't think it's nearly enough! Now die!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Revan held up his hands in a placating gesture while still dodging the steady stream of blaster fire coming from Carth. "I'm not _that_ Revan."

Carth looked skeptical, but he at least stopped firing. "You expect me to believe you're an entirely different Revan who just **happens** to have the same name?"

"Why not?" Revan shrugged. "Just because you don't really encounter a lot of repeat names doesn't mean there aren't ever some. It would be weird if a name was never duplicated ever."

"I suppose you're right," Carth agreed reluctantly. "Besides, given that this whole mess is all Revan's doing anyway, he would probably be at least vaguely interested in it. Now hurry up and get dressed so we can leave."

Revan eyed Carth guardedly. "You're not going to try and 'help' me, are you?"

Carth snorted. "No offence, but if you need my help putting your clothes on then I'm sticking you on apartment-sitting duty."

"Fair enough," Revan said and quickly pulled on his clothes.

"One last word of advice…I've heard the Force can do practically anything to you if the wielder has sufficient imagination so if you get caught…well today you might be Revan, accidental Republic soldier and tomorrow you might be Boba, loyal Sith lieutenant," Carth warned.

"Eh, if they managed to get my loyalty they probably deserve it," Revan said dismissively. He opened the door and nearly walked straight into two strong-arming a pair of Duros.

"For the last time, where are the missing Republic soldiers?" one of the Sith demanded.

"How should I know?" one of the Duros replied. "It's a big planet and they could be anywhere!"

"You know, you should be more polite when speaking to us," the other Sith said casually. "Seeing as how you're illegally occupying this apartment."

"Exactly," the first Duros said. "We have enough legal troubles as it is, why would we add to it by harboring fugitives?"

"Humans hiding out among aliens?" one of the Sith said. "They must be Republic fugitives!" He shot the first Duros in the head. " 'Anywhere', huh? Not noticing them in the apartment right next door officially makes you too stupid to live."

"Hey, how come he managed to kill someone in one hit?" Revan complained.

"I don't know, maybe it's just the blaster," Carth replied. "Now help me kill him!"

Approximately fifteen shots into each of the two Sith and another twenty for the droid accompanying them and they were victorious.

Revan immediately stepped forward and examined the magical one-shot-death blaster. "It's just a regular blaster…" he said, disappointed. "We could probably sell it, though. And look, money!" he exclaimed, digging through the man's pockets.

"I can't believing you're robbing a dead guy," Carth said, shaking his head ruefully.

"What? As you said, he's dead; he's not liable to care," Revan defended.

"Thank you so much for saving me!" the remaining Duros spoke up. He eyed his fallen friend. "Poor soul…if only he hadn't said anything about how you could be anywhere two seconds before you proved that 'here' was part of 'anywhere'…"

"I'm not actually a Republic solder, you know," Revan corrected. "I'm just really cheap."

"We are too Republic soldiers!" Carth said, glaring at him.

"I would recommend keeping your loyalties quiet since the Sith are occupying," Revan advised. "And my contract was for the _Endar Spire_ and since that ship exploded, I am officially unaffiliated. Granted, this means I probably won't get paid, but whatever. I can always rob these apartments blind…"

"Okay then…" the Duros said uncomfortably. "Don't' worry about the bodies; I'll dispose of them for you."

"I was actually just going to ignore them but if you want to get rid of them then good for you," Revan said, patting the Duros on the back. "Now let's get out of here."

"You're not _really_ going to rob the apartments, are you?" Carth asked uncertainly.

"Why not?" Revan asked, shrugging. "We need the money."

"Yeah, well so do they," Carth pointed out. "These people are impoverished and their situation, unlike ours, isn't likely to improve anytime soon."

"And?" Revan asked, entering the Duros apartment and poking around.

The next two apartments Revan looted were empty. The third had a family of three in it, who stood around glaring and complaining about the 'good old days' when they didn't have to worry about people burglarizing their apartment while they were home.

"You have no shame," Carth said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"What?" Revan asked innocently. "If they really had a problem with it, they wouldn't just be standing there complaining, you would at least TRY to fight me off."

"They would just get themselves killed," Carth pointed out. "A few credits and a medpac clearly aren't worth their lives to them."

"It's not like THEY know I could kill them without even trying," Revan countered. "And if it isn't worth risking their life to them then I'm claiming it as mine as I actually _am_ risking my life here because who knows who might be in one of these apartments I'm trying to steal from."

At the next apartment, Revan was surprised to actually meet some resistance.

"One more step and you're losing a hand," the proprietor of the apartment warned, holding up a vibroblade menacingly.

"I guess here's someone who really has a problem with you robbing them," Carth commented.

"What?" the woman blinked. "You're here to rob me?"

"I am," Revan confirmed.

"Thank God!" she exclaimed.

"That…wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting," Carth admitted.

"I guess that means she has no problem with it after all," Revan mused.

"I thought you were here to collect my bounty," the woman explained.

"You have a bounty on your head?" Revan perked up. "Normally, I can't be bothered with that kind of thing, but since you're standing right in front of us-"

"Wait," the woman cut him off. "Technically I have a bounty on my head but it's completely ridiculous! My name's Dia and I'm a waitress at the Cantina. Two days ago, an Exchange thug named Holdan tried to molest me so I beat him to a pulp with my vibroblade."

"Do you often carry a vibroblade on you while you work?" Revan questioned.

Dia shot him a look. "My main patrons are Exchange thugs and now Sith."

"Point," Revan admitted.

"What happened was a common enough occurrence, but his manly pride couldn't take it so he put a bounty on my head," Dia explained.

"He couldn't even be bothered to go after you himself?" Carth asked. "Coward. Is there anything you can do?"

"Not unless you can talk to Holdan for me?" Dia asked hopefully. "I don't want to risk leaving the apartment in case something happens."

"We'll be happy to help," Carth said earnestly.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Should the Force send him our way without us having to put forth any extra effort whatsoever and should we remember, we'll say something, sure."

"Thank you ever so much!" Dia gushed.

"Whatever. Carth, you get the details," Revan ordered and proceeded over to a footlocker he saw in the corner. Once he picked the lock, he took out a vibroblade upgrade. "Looks valuable…"

"Alright, I think I've got it. We'll be back once we talk to Holdan, Dia," Carth promised. "Come on, Revan."

"One second," Revan said, placing the contents of the footlocker in his bag and then quickly following Carth into the hallway.

"Please tell me you did NOT steal from the person we're supposed to be helping," Carth said tiredly.

"I could," Revan agreed, "but we both know I'd be lying. And besides, you volunteered to help her, not me."

"Be that as it may, why would you steal from her?" Carth demanded. "She was right there and clearly had a problem with it!"

"Wrong, she said she was okay with it since I wasn't out to kill her," Revan corrected.

"…No she didn't!" Carth cried.

Revan shrugged. "I'm a kleptomaniac; what can you do?"

- -

As Revan and Carth made their way to the medical center, a loud voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Hey, what are you looking at? Mind your own business if you know what's good for you!"

Revan turned in the direction of the voice to see two thugs intimidating an old man. Apparently he and Carth were the people the threat were addressed to. "We kind of were," he tried to explain. "We didn't even see you until you called out to us, in fact…"

"Are you threatening a completely harmless old man?" Carth demanded, appalled.

"What of it?" one of the thugs challenged, cocking his blaster threateningly.

"For the Republic!" Carth shouted out, opening fire on the thugs.

"Oh for the love of God," Revan groaned as he grudgingly joined the battle, "what part of 'we're on Sith-occupied Taris' don't you get? You're the one who told me!"

Carth was unrepentant. "They're dead and I'm sure this guy we just saved wouldn't rat us out."

"What about any witnesses?" Revan shot back. "We're standing in the middle of the street you know."

Carth, as was quickly becoming his standard response whenever Revan made a point, ignored him and turned to the man they had saved. "Are you okay?"

The man nodded shakily. "For now, yes, but those bounty hunters won't be the last."

"You have a bounty on your head?" Carth asked, shocked. "But…why? You look so harmless."

"I own Davik a hundred credits and I ran out of time to pay him," the man explained wearily. "I just hope they don't go after my wife."

"Sweet! I just found a hundred credits on these two dead guys!" Revan exclaimed. Carth and the old man turned to him expectantly. "What?"

"Revan, this guy needs those credits so he doesn't die and you'll have plenty of opportunities to put your kleptomania to good use later," Carth told him.

"But-" Revan began.

"Just do it," Carth said firmly, giving him a look.

"Fine," Revan sighed as he handed over the life-saving credits. "I swear, it's like you're dead-set on us being broke or something…"

"He would have died if we hadn't done anything!" Carth objected as they started walking again.

"Well maybe he should have thought of that before taking out a loan with the Exchange," Revan sniffed. "Or at least considered robbing apartments or looting corpses."

"Maybe he has morals. Did you ever think of that?" Carth demanded.

Revan snorted. "Desperate men very rarely have morals. And besides, it's not like he had to kill anybody. From what I've seen of Taris so far, corpses pop up every time you turn around."

"Yeah, when you kill people there do tend to be a lot of corpses," Carth agreed sarcastically.

"I should warn you right now that sarcasm is lost on me," Revan said airily. He spotted a man standing at the entrance of the medical center. "Do you work here?"

"Yes," the man said shortly.

"We're here to-" Revan began.

"Don't care," he interrupted. "Go talk to Zelka."

"Fine," Revan said, glaring at him and storming further into the medical center. "Carth, you want to take this?"

"I suppose so," Carth agreed. "Hello, are you Zelka?"

Zelka nodded. "I am indeed. How can I help you?"

"Have you seen any sign of any crashed Republic escape pods?" Carth queried. "Or more importantly, any survivors?"

Zelka shook his head nervously. "I know nothing."

"Hey look, a door!" Revan cried out. "I wonder what's in here…"

"Don't touch that!" Zelka cried out, panicked.

Carth turned in annoyance to his wayward companion. "Revan…are those Republic soldiers?"

"…Maybe?" Zelka admitted. "But I swear I had no idea they were back there!"

"You had no idea there were Republic soldiers in your back room?" Carth repeated skeptically.

"None whatsoever!" Zelka claimed. "I bet Gurney put them there. Between the two of us, he's a total Republic sympathizer."

"Lies," the rude man from earlier, apparently Gurney, contradicted in a bored tone. "I hate the Republic. The Sith bribe better."

"It's okay, you know," Carth assured Zelka with a warm smile. "We're with the Republic."

"Speak for yourself," Revan muttered.

"Well, I am," Carth amended. "But Revan is at least not with the Sith so that's something, right? I want to thank you for helping them."

"You're with the Republic?" Zelka repeated, awed. "I had no idea…there's not much I can do for your compatriots, but I can at least let them end their days in peace."

"Thank you," Carth said again. "Is there anything we can do for you? Anything at all?"

Zelka hesitated. "Well…I can treat most things, but Rakghoul Disease is becoming a huge problem."

"Rakghoul Disease?" Carth repeated. "What's that?"

"It's a terrible ailment that turns you into a Rakghoul, a mindless creature ruled by its instincts. The Sith have a serum but they guard it very jealously," Zelka hinted.

"We'll get it for you," Carth vowed.

"Carth!" Revan complained. "Seriously, I thought we were supposed to try and keep a low profile, not attack Sith!"

Carth shrugged. "We want to find Bastila and get off this rock, we're going to need to go through a few Sith first."

"I couldn't possibly ASK you to attack Sith," Zelka told them.

"We'll be back when we have the serum!" Carth promised, heading towards the exit.

"Not so fast," Gurney said, stepping in front of their path. "You know, the exchange would also like to get their hands on that serum – and they're willing to make it well worth your time."

"Revan, don-" Carth began automatically but he needn't have bothered as Revan was already brushing past Gurney without so much as looking at him. "What gives?" he asked as he hurried to keep up. "Getting paid to do something I'm forcing you to do anyway…sounds like your kind of thing."

"Oh, it is," Revan assured him. "But he was quite rude so I refuse to have anything to do with him."

"Well, from what I can tell the Sith and thugs are often rude so that's a great mindset to have," Carth said encouragingly.

"The plague walks among us…" an old man was preaching.

Revan stopped short. "Excuse me, plague? There's a plague going around? Does Zelka know how to treat it?"

The man coughed. "Not that kind of plague. I mean aliens are starting to become more and more prevalent. It's like they think they're people or something! It's up to us to stop it."

"Yes, death to all aliens," Carth deadpanned.

The old man's eyes widened with glee. "Could it be…another enlightened human? Oh, blessed be! May you stay safe in your travels, friend, and do not let the alien menace taint you."

"I…but…what?" Carth asked, confused, as Revan dragged him towards the Cantina.

"Wow, Carth," Revan said, shaking his head in disappointment. "I get all this flak for my kleptomania and general lack of morals and you're a speciest. Pot, meet kettle much?"

"But I'm not!" Carth protested.

"That's not what you said two minutes ago," Revan reminded him.

"Does nobody understand the concept of sarcasm?" Carth cried out.

Revan shrugged. "I told you that was wasted on me, remember?"

The minute Revan and Carth stepped into the Cantina they were set upon by a clearly spoiled Tarisian teenager. "Where the hell is my drink?" she demanded.

"How should I know?" Revan asked. "Do I look like a waiter?"

"Clearly," she answered snootily. "Or I wouldn't have asked. I've been here for two minutes and it's not here yet!"

"Two minutes," Carth muttered. "Imagine that."

"I know!" the girl agreed. "Don't they know who I am?"

"Look, I'm sorry, but we're not your waiters, kid," Carth said gently.

The girl's eye twitched. "Kid? Kid? I've never been more insulted in my life! That's it, I am SO going to get you fired." With that, she marched off.

"Way to go, Carth," Revan said, rolling his eyes.

"But we don't even work here!" Carth protested.

"I know," Revan agreed. "But word of advice…anyone young enough to be called a kid will invariably not be able to stand being called one."

"My son never seemed to mind…I think. I really wasn't ever home often enough to tell, was I?" Carth mused to himself, then froze as he realized that he'd just opened himself up to a conversation about his past.

Fortunately, Revan was too self-absorbed to notice. "Let's see…should I visit the Pazaak Den first or becoming the dueling champion?"

- -

"I'm just saying, don't you think it's a little weird?" Carth asked as they exited the Cantina.

Revan sighed. "As great as it is that you finally stopped bugging me about the 'immoralities' of organizing an illegal underground death match to kill some Mandalorian guy pretty much just for the hell of it and so I'd make a lot of money or cleaning all of the Pazaak sharks out all their winnings, I just don't think it's that weird."

"You held up your hand and Bendak Starkiller started choking and then when you clenched your fist he died!" Carth burst out.

Another sigh. "I just don't know what to tell you, Carth. Maybe I'm secretly Force sensitive," Revan said sardonically.

Carth opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by that obnoxious girl from earlier. "Those are them, right there!"she said, pointing right at them. The group of thugs behind her stepped forward menacingly.

"You're sending thugs after us?" Revan asked incredulously. "What the hell? I thought you were just going to get us fired."

The girl nodded. "I was. It turns out you don't work there after all."

"That's what we told you!" Carth reminded her. "So why the thugs if you were wrong?"

"You called me a 'kid'," the girl complained. "Get them, boys!"

Five minutes later and her thugs were lying dead at the two non-waiters' feet.

"Um…well, this is awkward…bye," the girl said, before running off. "No hard feelings, right?"

"Now what?" Carth asked.

"The Force is giving me some pretty strong vibes that we should go loot the apartments on the other side of the Upper City," Revan volunteered.

"Oh great, now the _Force_ is supporting your thieving ways?" Carth demanded.

Revan shrugged. "You're the one who said I was Force sensitive."

"No I didn't," Carth disagreed.

Revan ignored him and the two quickly made their way to the northern part of the Upper City.

"Heeeeeeey, you," someone slurred, clearly drunk. "Watcha doin' here? Go back to the slums, ya alien!"

"But we're not aliens," Carth pointed out. "At least not from your perspective as we're all humans."

"Aaaaaaaaalien…"

"Let me handle this," Revan told him. He looked straight at the drunk and said clearly, "If you don't go away you'll get in trouble."

"Oh, shorry," the drunk apologized before stumbling off.

"Wow," Carth said impressed. "How did you do that?"

Revan shrugged. "I am, possibly, the most persuasive person alive. When I choose to try and convince someone to do something, I just have to tell them to do it and mean it, and they listen."

"It's a good thing you haven't used that on me, then, huh?" Carth asked rhetorically.

Revan didn't reply.

"Right?" Carth asked, a bit nervously.

"Oh look, a droid store!" Revan said, dragging Carth in and completely avoiding the question.

"Hello," the sales-Twi'lek greeted cheerfully. "My name is Janice Nall. Can I help you with something?"

"I think I'm in love," Revan said, eyeing the T3-M4 unit happily. "How much?"

"Oh, him? He's not for sale. Davik King wants him, you know, and he costs two thousand credits," Janice explained.

"If I killed him, would you sell T3-M4 to me?" Revan asked seriously.

Janice paled. "Don't say such things! What if somebody hears you?"

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes'," Revan decided.

"Do you have any other droids for sale?" Carth asked, hoping to placate his apparently droid-obsessed companion.

"Well, we do have a T3-H8 unit," Janice said. "It's only fifty credits."

"We'll take it," Carth said. "I'm not sure what we would use it for, but maybe _it_ can guard our apartment."

"It's just not the same," Revan said sadly. "And considering the droid is forty times cheaper than T3-M4, wouldn't that make it forty times as less awesome?"

"I don't think it works like that, Revan," Carth said, shaking his head. "Now come on."

Tragically, the moment the T3-H8 unit moved out of Janice's store, it exploded.

"You were saying?" Revan asked grumpily.

"I am SO sorry!" Janice said horrified. "I had no idea that would happen!"

"You had no idea that a droid you felt confident in selling to me was that defective?" Revan asked skeptically. "Tell me, what would have happened if it had blown up after we'd exited your store. Do you even offer warranties?"

"I…no one's ever asked," Janice said lamely. "I'll give you a full refund, though."

"What if I don't want a refund?" Revan asked. "What if I want to tell everyone just how much you suck at droid maintenance and that unless they're willing to shell out two thousand credits that their brand new droid could very well blow up on them?!?!"

"Seventy-five credits," Janice offered, sounding desperate.

Revan smiled. "On second thought, I wouldn't want to put a hardworking entrepreneur such as yourself out of a job, now would I?"

"You are shameless," Carth remarked as they left the shop, now twenty-five credits richer than when they'd entered.

"Hey, she could have told me all about how hard it is to be a Twi'lek business owner operating in the decidedly racist Upper City of Taris," Revan defended. "Now which way are the apartments?"

"Would you have cared if she had?" Carth challenged.

"Well, no," Revan admitted. "But she couldn't have known that. Ah, here they are. Let's try door number one…"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Carth asked dubiously. "I can hear loud music playing, there's probably a party going on."

Revan shrugged. "So we'll gatecrash while I take everything."

Carth groaned. "I've got a _bad_ feeling about this."

Revan opened the door to see a bunch of partiers passed out on the floor. "Force sensitive, you are not." The very first bag he opened contained two Sith uniforms. "Oh, very nice."

"They look evil," Carth said, eyeing the uniforms distastefully.

"Don't be silly, they're awesome," Revan disagreed. "And look! Shiny! Let's put them on."

"Why?" Carth asked.

"That way we can pretend to be Sith," Revan explained.

"I am not putting that on," Carth said flatly.

Revan turned to look straight at him. "If we pretend to be Sith we might find out something more about Bastila."

Carth was putting on the uniform almost before he realized what was happening.

Revan smirked. "Works every time."

Carth blinked. "What?"

Review Please!


	3. On Meeting Goggle Boy Again

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"What's the point in even _having_ guards to other parts of the planet if they aren't actually going to keep anyone out?" Revan wondered aloud.

Carth snorted. "They probably do but since we're currently dressed like Sith it was enough for them. I mean, Sith uniforms aren't exactly easy to get your hands on."

"Really?" Revan asked skeptically. "Because they were literally just lying around in a room full of already conveniently incapacitated people when we got there."

"Yes, well we're special like that," Carth said lamely. "It doesn't work like that for most people."

"Being a walking deus ex machina does have its advantages, I suppose," Revan said agreeably. "Hey, do you hear blaster fire?"

"Someone might be in trouble!" Carth exclaimed, immediately running towards the sound of the fighting.

"Or it could be gang warfare since apparently the fighting has gotten so bad that the Sith are keeping people out for their protection," Revan suggested, reluctantly following his companion.

"No, I'm certain it's – oh, looks like you're right. It was gang warfare," Carth said as he spotted two groups of three thug-types firing at each other. "It goes against everything I stand for to just stand back and idly watch a fight but…they're both gang members and God help me I don't know enough of the situation down here to be able to tell which is the good guy. Or are they both bad guys?"

"We could just wait to see who wins and then kill them," Revan offered. "And that will probably solve your moral dilemma as the ones who die will have inevitably been the relatively good guys as having a conscience tends to make you incapable of aiming properly. Good guys train for YEARS to overcome that particular handicap."

"Really?" Carth asked, intrigued. "But you're probably the best shot I've ever seen."

Revan raised an eyebrow pointedly at him.

"Oh, right," Carth realized, feeling a little foolish.

"That's why Jedi stick to lightsabers," Revan confided. "It's harder to miss with those."

Just then, the last of one of the groups of thugs fell with a, "I just wanted to help people!" which seemed to indicate he was one of the good guys.

"For the Republic!" Carth cried, opening fire one of the surviving gang members.

By the time he had finished, Revan had disposed of the other two. "At least this time there really aren't any potential witnesses," he sighed. "Remind me to never, ever, under any circumstances ever allow you to do stealth work or espionage."

Carth didn't get it. "Huh? Why not?"

Revan merely shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Let's keep moving."

"After we loot the corpses, right?" Carth asked unnecessarily.

"Naturally," Revan nodded.

Once that was done, they decided to investigate the door right in front of them.

"It's no use, I can't open it," Carth declared.

"Let me try," Revan said. He approached the door and attempted to break in. After a few anxious moments, he shook his head. "It's no use, I can't open it."

"That's what I **just** said," Carth felt obliged to point out. "Word for word, in face."

"Well, yeah," Revan nodded. "But you just tried to open it. _I_ was attempting to hack it. Now, I'm good but I'm not nearly experienced enough to be a master and the person who designed this door clearly is, so I can't get in. Of course, if I had a lightsaber, then that would be a different story. I've heard all you have to do is stab a lock with a lightsaber and it opens, no matter how ingenious it is."

"That's the second time you've mentioned lightsabers in five minutes," Carth noted. "Is that a fetish of yours or something?"

Revan shrugged. "That is entirely possible. And double-bladed ones are the best, obviously. And it would have to be violet. How badass would I be with a violet double-bladed lightsaber?"

"I thought double-bladed lightsabers were more the Siths' thing than the Jedi's?" Carth asked uncertainly.

"I'm sure I don't know," Revan replied. "But if the Sith and the Jedi were both trying to recruit me and the Jedi told me I had to stick with a single-bladed lightsaber, I would _totally_ join the Sith."

Carth looked horrified, but not really surprised. "I'm sure lightsaber style isn't a deal-breaker."

"Well, it's not like such hypothetical questions will ever in any way ever affect our lives in the slightest," Revan said cheerfully. "Now what do you say we raid all the lower-city apartments?"

"As long as we get to help anybody who needs it," Carth compromised.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Fine…"

"And we should probably take these outfits off," Carth added hopefully. "I mean, we don't really need them and they may cause problems for us."

"You're so demanding," Revan complained as he obligingly pulled off his amazing uniform. "It's always 'Revan, don't kill that guy' or 'Revan stop talking about joining the Sith' or 'Revan these people need those credits more than you' or 'Revan, don't you have any respect for the dead'."

"Well maybe if you possessed an ounce of common decency I wouldn't have to!" Carth shot back, but it was his turn to be ignored.

Upon 'exploring' several of the apartments, Revan and Carth came face to face with a very odd security measure.

"We're supposed to list, in order, when each of the band members joined?" Carth asked, confused. "If they are really a moderately successful band then isn't there a risk of people actually knowing the answer to this? It's a clever enough idea but the question needs work, right Revan?"

"For once, I'm in complete agreement with you, Carth," Revan responded, sounding mildly shocked. "It just so happens that I **love** the Twisted Rancor Trio. It all started when this guy named Glithos Uksaris wanted to date this singer named Elinda so he decided to form a band. Ujaa joined next, followed by his brother Ujii. Tragically, Ujaa apparently sucked so he got replaced by this guy named Loopa and family loyalty dictated that Ujii also leave the band so Fodo entered the scene. Davik Kang wanted to hear them play after they got a record deal but Elinda said playing for the exchange offended her 'principles' or whatever and so her sister Ashana replaced her. It's all very dramatic."

"I am mildly disturbed that you know that and definitely confused about HOW you do considering it appears it's a Taris-based band and you've only been conscious for a few hours now, but it would appear that you are right," Carth said as he entered the combination Revan's mini-history supplied and the protection around the footlocker died down.

"You just don't appreciate true art," Revan sniffed, popping open the now-unlocked footlocker and pocketing everything that was inside.

"If that's art, I don't want to," Carth countered.

"But you haven't even heard any of their music!" Revan protested.

"Considering that it was started to impress a girl, I don't feel I have to," Carth insisted.

Revan eyed him sadly. "Your loss. I wonder if I'll get to meet the band when I'm killing Davik…"

"Wait, wait, wait…you're going to try to kill Davik?" Carth repeated. "Why?!?!"

"It's not like I _want_ to, per se," Revan explained. "But that droid shop owner said it was the only way to get T3-M4."

"I'm not getting off this planet alive, am I?" Carth groaned.

"Stop complaining; there's breaking-and-entering to be done," Revan ordered. As they stepped back into the hall, they witnessed a confrontation between two Rodian and a strange-looking short human with goggles.

"What do you want?" one of the Rodian asked rudely.

"There's a bounty on your head and I'm here to collect," goggle-head announced. He took out two blasters and pointed them at his targets.

"You think it will be so-" the other Rodian began before a shot from each blaster killed him and his cohort.

"Call me crazy, but I think it will be," goggle-head said, putting his blasters back in his jacket and turning to go. Upon spotting his observers, he asked, "What are you looking at?"

"We were just about to head down this hallway when we saw you in the middle of something and thought it would be rude to interrupt," Revan explained.

"Hn. My name's Calo Nord and I'm warning you right now not to get in my way," Calo threatened as he brushed past t hem.

"I'm definitely getting some bad vibes from that guy," Carth said, shivering.

"Well, that's to be expected," Revan told him. "If his ability to kill two people at once is any indication, he has no soul."

After quickly checking over the unfortunate Rodians for anything even remotely valuable, the pair of fugitives made their way to the next apartment.

"You had better stay out of here or I'm going to kill you," a green Twi'lek warned them, holding up a vibroblade menacingly.

"Why?" Revan asked innocently. "I'm new here and just trying to get to know my neighbors."

"I don't care," the Twi'lek growled. "Get out."

"Well, you heard the man," Carth said, turning to leave but Revan put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Not so fast, there's something more going on here, I can tell," Revan said. He looked straight at the Twi'lek and said, "Tell me what your problem is."

"My name is Matrik and I used to be a member of the Exchange but my poor conscience just couldn't take it so I turned state's evidence. It took Davik many months and thousands of credits before he was back on his feet and I was put in the witness protection program. The Stih closed the program last week when they took over and I've been hiding here ever since," Matrik answered promptly.

"Sucks to be you," Revan said bluntly.

"That's horrible!" Carth gasped. "Is there anything you can do?"

Matrik smiled ruefully. "Not unless you happen to know where I could get my hands on a permacrete detonator without having to leave the apartment."

"We'll find it for you," Carth swore. "We'll find it if it's the last thing we-"

"Oh not another pointless interlude!" Revan objected. Reaching into his pack, he pulled out a device and shoved it at Matrik. "Here's your detonator. Can we go now?"

"Why do you have a permacrete detonator on you?" Carth asked warily. "Those things are supposed to be kind of hard to obtain given that only experts can safely use them."

"I found it on a corpse," Revan replied succinctly. "Probably. I don't really remember."

"Thank you both so much," Matrik said sincerely as he set the detonator in his apartment and ran out into the hall. "You've saved my life."

"People are really going to believe that just because there was a huge explosion in your apartment you're dead?" Revan asked skeptically. "There are easier ways to commit suicide, you know."

"You could always say that you did it and collect my bounty," Matrik offered.

"Done and done," Revan agreed, all smiles.

"I better get out of here before someone comes to investigate the explosion," Matrik told them. "Thanks again."

No sooner had Matrik disappeared out of sight than what must have been every thug in the apartment complex decided to see what was going on and, for some reason, attack them. In the fight that followed, Carth killed three gang members while Revan killed sixteen.

"Okay, seriously, this is getting embarrassing," Carth said. "What is it about morality that makes you fail at aiming?"

"Who knows?" Revan shrugged. "All I know is that if you have strong morals you suck at aiming, although the reverse is not necessarily true. Correlation does not have to mean causation, you know."

The next apartment they tried had blaster fire emitting from it the second the door was opened.

"Hey, what gives?" Revan demanded, pulling out a vibroblade and deflecting the hits with ease.

"You're here to kill me, aren't you?" the woman firing at him accused.

"Well, I wasn't planning on it, but the more I think about it that's actually starting to sound like an excellent idea," Revan ground out.

"Why would we want to kill you?" Carth chose that moment to speak up.

"There was an explosion not ten minutes ago in one of the other apartments and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that was you," the woman said flatly.

"Guilty," Revan acknowledged, not sounding like he actually was in the slightest.

"And also because the Republic put a bounty on my head after I wiped out the Ulgo family," the apparent assassin informed them.

"Trask's family is dead?" Revan asked, surprised. "Guess that means I don't have to worry about finding his possible non-existent wife. I mean, it's not like I was overly concerned about that in the first place, but still. It's nice to know I don't have to."

"You're a monster!" Carth cried, outraged.

"Oh, come off it. You couldn't stand Trask either," Revan defended.

But for once, he wasn't talking about Revan. "You would kill an entire family just for money? Die!"

Revan joined in the fun and shortly thereafter the assassin lay dead at their feet.

"If the Republic put the bounty on what's-her-name, would it still be valid now that the Sith are in control?" Revan wondered.

"We'll soon find out, I suppose," Carth answered. "Now that we've officially broken into all of the apartments and killed at least half of the occupants, can we go check out the Cantina? We might hear something there."

Revan shrugged. "Why not? I could use a drink and I haven't made a professional Pazaak player cry in almost two hours."

- -

"Three," Calo Nod was saying when they walked into the Lower City's Cantina. He threw a flash grenade to the ground and by the time anyone could see again the thugs that were bothering him were lying dead on the floor.

"Maybe that's why he wears the goggles," Carth theorized.

"You two again?" Calo asked, eyeing them suspiciously. "I thought I told you to stay out of my way."

"We are," Revan assured him. "We just happened to run into you twice in thirty minutes."

"I'll be watching you," Calo warned before exiting the Cantina.

"Paranoid guy," Carth remarked. Before Revan could comment on the irony of him calling anyone paranoid when he seemed convinced that Revan was one decent offer away from joining the Sith – which wasn't actually all that far off – the pilot continued with, "Smart guy. I like him. Even if he is evil."

"Let's see if there's anything interesting happening in the Cantina before I decimate the Pazaak players," Revan suggested. He entered the next room over and immediately bumped into a man. "Oh, sorry."

"Don't worry about it," the man told him. "I'm in a good mood and you look dangerous so I'm not going to put a bounty on you. My name's Holdan, by the way."

"I'm Revan," Revan introduced. "Do you-"

"Wait, you're that bastard who put a bounty on Dia, aren't you?" Carth accused angrily.

"It's possible," Holdan admitted. "I put bounties on lots of people. Which one was Dia, again?"

"How can you not remember a girl you put a bounty on?!?!" Carth couldn't believe it.

Revan, who had once found himself in the same situation, quickly described her. "She's a Cantina waitress who you tried to molest so she kicked your ass."

"Ah," Holdan winced. "**Dia**. Gorgeous girl, but man she's got a temper on her."

"You can't have someone killed because they defended themselves from you!" Carth burst out.

"Why not?" Holdan asked.

"Because it's not right!" Carth told him.

"I don't actually care," Holdan replied apathetically. "But tell you what, you feel that strongly about it you give me five hundred credits and I'll call it off."

Carth looked beseechingly at Revan.

"No, not going to happen," Revan insisted, shaking his head.

"What's the point in _having_ all this ill-gotten wealth if we can't use it to help others?" Carth asked rhetorically.

Revan answered anyway. "Well, we could spend it on ourselves, for one. Or we could just horde it. I really like that plan actually."

"But I promised Dia and if we don't do it, she'll die!" Carth reminded him.

"The things I do for you people…" Revan muttered. Looking straight at Holdan, he said, "Drop the bounty for free."

"Alright," Holdan agreed easily. He quickly made his way over to a Hutt they could only assume was in charge of bounties on Taris.

"No matter how many times I see it, that's still really impressive," Carth complimented.

"Thanks," Revan replied, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Carth inquired.

"He got his ass kicked by a waitress," Revan answered, quickly losing his battle with laughter.

"I take it that's never happened to you?" Carth asked.

Revan stopped laughing. "Once," he confessed. "But to be fair, it WAS on Nar Shaddaa."

"I see," Carth said, as if that explained everything. And it did, really. Nar Shaddaa was one of the toughest and least regulated planets in the Republic. "It looks like Holdan's done talking to the Hutt."

Revan and Carth approached the Hutt slowly.

"Are you the one to talk to about bounties?" Revan asked.

"Yes, I am Zax," Zax introduced. "Are you interested in collecting or would you like to put out a hit on someone?"

"Is the bounty on Dia still open?" Carth asked.

"No, that man just cancelled it," Zax replied. "Any other questions?"

"Is there a bounty on some girl who killed the Ulgo family?" Revan inquired.

"You mean Selven? Yes, there is. I wouldn't recommend going after her alone, though. She is a professional," Zax cautioned.

"I already killed her," Revan informed him. "I also blew up some guy named Matrik and killed Bendak Starkiller in a duel. Do I either of them have bounties?"

"Yes, all three of them have bounties worth three hundred credits," Zax responded.

Revan made a face as he looked straight at the Hutt. "I'd rather have four hundred a person."

"Four hundred it is," Zax agreed. "And may I congratulate you on your powers of persuasion? It is not easy to get a Hutt to part with his credits. Here are twelve hundred credits."

"A pleasure doing business with you," Revan nodded politely before waking away.

"Okay, seriously. How do you do that?" Carth demanded.

"Don't know, don't care," Revan said breezily. "Maybe it's the Force."

"Little girl should not be in Cantina all by herself," a rather unctuous rodian to their left said.

"Your concern is touching," the blue Twi'lek kid he was talking.

"You never know when something might…happen," another equally slimy rodian leered at her.

The Twi'lek sighed. "You know, it's perverts like you that make Big Z think I can't go anywhere by myself."

"It really is for your own good, Mission," a large Wookie – presumably this 'Big Z' character – said sternly.

"We don't want any trouble with a Wookie," one of the rodians decided and both of them quickly made their escape – or tried to.

The rodians had the fatal misfortune of running past Revan, who calmly stabbed them both with his vibroblade. "No one likes a pedophile," he lectured.

"You didn't have to do that," Mission told them. "They wouldn't bother me again if Big Z was here and he always is."

"Not everyone has a bodyguard," Revan pointed out.

"True," Mission agreed. "I'm Mission Vao and this here in Zaalbar, but he'll answer to Big Z. I know pretty much anything you need to know about Taris so if you have any questions, be sure to let me know."

"It's nice to meet you," Revan said graciously. "I'm Revan and this is Carth. Do you have any idea where we could get information on possibly captured fugitives? I'd rather not go into specifics, you understand."

"Oh, absolutely," Mission nodded. "I'd recommend checking with Gadon. He's the leader of the Hidden Beks, which is the relatively nice gang around here. Their headquarters is just down the hallway. Watch out for the Black Vulkers, though. They're ruthless, even by swoop gang standards."

"Thanks for the warning," Revan said. "Now, if you'll excuse us…"

"Now what?" Carth asked. "Are we going to go see this Gadon character?"

"All in good time," Revan promised. He walked over to the Pazaak players. "First I've got to make some grown men cry…"

- -

"Give me one good reason why I should let you in to see my leader without an appointment?" the guard at the Hidden Bek base said irritably, crossing her arms.

"I'm a good guy," Carth promised. "Which means even if I were to feel that the moral thing to do would be assassinating Gadon, I'd probably miss."

"I don't really have any morals," Revan admitted. "But I'm not suicidal either and killing Gadon in the middle of your base surrounded by all of his men would almost certainly guarantee I would not make it out again."

"That is sound reasoning," the guard decided. "Alright, feel free to go in."

"You'd think she'd at least have disarmed us first," Carth commented as he and Revan walked straight through the front door.

"Don't give them ideas," Revan hissed. "There is no guarantee this won't somehow end badly."

They went straight up to the man sitting at a desk in the back of the room who looked to be in charge.

"Hold on, how did you get in here? What do you want? Are you a spy? Why am I even asking that if any spy that could possibly pose a threat would deny it?" a Twi'lek standing defensively at the man's – Gadon? – side fired off the questions in rapid succession.

"We're looking for any information you have on Republic fugitives or a girl named Bastila," Carth said seriously.

"Fine, ignore me," the Twi'lek muttered bitterly. "See if I care."

"It's fine, Zaerdra," Gadon assured her. "As it happens, I do know of this 'Bastila' that you seek. She was captured by our arch-rivals, the Black Vulkers, and she's being offered up as their share of the prize in tomorrow's Swoop Race."

"Is that a good thing?" Carth asked dubiously.

"Possibly," Gadon replied. "Unfortunately, our illegal accelerator was stolen last week by the Vulkers and we can't hope to beat them without it."

"That's too b-" Revan started to say.

"BUT if you get it back for us I'll agree to let you race for us and you can have your Republic Officer back," Gadon offered brightly.

"What? Why would we have to race if we already have to slaughter our way through a rival base?" Revan demanded.

"Because I said so and you can't even get to Bastila without my help," Gadon said stubbornly.

"And people wonder why I don't 'put myself out there' more," Revan murmured. "So how do we get into the base?"

"You need to go to the Under City. Of course, you can't get there without some security papers and these are very valuable documents that I just can't be bothered to give away," Gadon said seriously.

"You…you won't give us the security clearance we need to accomplish the task you just set for us?" Revan asked in disbelief. "You're some kind of asshole, you know that?"

Gadon shrugged. "I'm a gang leader, it comes with the territory. What do you have to barter?"

"I shouldn't HAVE to b-" But again, Revan was interrupted.

"Would you like some Sith uniforms?" Carth asked, trying not to sound too eager to get rid of them.

"You've got yourself a deal," Gadon said, reaching out to shake Carth's hand. He handed Carth the security clearance and Revan grudgingly parted with his beloved shiny uniform.

"Why can't we just kill the Sith on duty?" he complained but Zaerdra ignored him as she literally pulled the uniforms out of his arms.

"Well, that was productive," Carth beamed as they left the Hidden Bek Base.

"Carth, it would be remiss if I didn't warn you now that first chance I get, I am SO betraying these people," Revan vowed. "Those uniforms had class."

Review Please!


	4. Why Is Everyone Always So Helpless?

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR.

"If you're going to use our lift then you have to pay the toll," a bedraggled refuge said authoritatively the minute Revan and Carth stepped off of the lift and into the Under City.

"Yeah," another refugee nodded. "Five credits!"

"Revan, don't-" Carth started to say. He stopped as he saw Revan reach into his pack and pull out five credits. "What? You mean you're actually going to give them the money?"

"And why shouldn't I?" Revan asked innocently, handing the money over. "They have a toll for using their elevator. I used their elevator. Therefore, I am paying the toll. Force, you make it sound like I'm unreasonable or something."

"'Or something', alright," Carth muttered.

"Thank you very much, kind sir," the refugee bowed slightly before running off.

"Such gratitude," Revan mused. "They must have a hard time enforcing that toll."

"I hope they didn't bother you," a refugee girl said as she approached them. "They're always causing trouble…I'm Shaleena, by the way."

"You're actually bothering me more than they did," Revan told her. "Seeing as how they just collected a toll and left and you seem like you plan on having a lengthy conversation. You don't need _help_ or anything, do you?"

Shaleena looked thoughtful. "No, actually I think I'm pretty good. Rukil and Gendar could probably use some help, though."

"Then we'll look into it," Carth promised. "Which way are they?"

"Rukil is that way," Shaleena pointed in one direction. "And Gendar is in the other."

"Why?!?!" Revan moaned as Carth dragged him off towards Gendar.

Carth stopped suddenly as he heard a child's cry for help and immediately changed directions. "What's going on here?" he demanded of the guard at the gate.

"This little kid's about to get eaten by a Rakghoul," the guard replied. "Want to watch?"

"W-what?" Carth sputtered. "Of course I don't want to watch! And you shouldn't watch either. Let him in."

"But then I'LL get eaten by a Rakghoul," the guard protested. "And that would suck."

"No you wouldn't," Carth assured the man, trying to disguise his disgust at the sort cowardice that would allow a child to get eaten right in front of him. "Revan and I will kill the Rakghoul."

"I think you mean 'I will kill the Rakghoul while Revan watches from behind the safety of the gate'," Revan corrected.

Carth turned to stare incredulously at him. "Seriously? He's a child."

"And I'm sure you're well up to the task of saving him," Revan replied. "Besides, I don't want to turn into a monster."

"You're walking a very thin line as it is," Carth muttered.

"All the more reason not to put myself in a position to change," Revan said cheerfully. "Now hurry up and go before the kid gets eaten and I have to listen to you complaining that if I'd been willing to help it wouldn't have happened."

Carth realized that Revan was right. "Well? Don't just stand there; open the gate!" he ordered. Once the gate was open, he quickly ran out and shot at the Rakghoul for a minute and a half or so before it fell.

"Wow, thanks," the little boy smiled up at him. "That was really cool even if you did miss nine times out of ten."

"Everyone's a critic…" Carth complained as he and the child reentered the village.

"Well, it's true," Revan pointed out. "I probably could have taken him down in less than ten seconds."

"But you didn't," Carth reminded him.

"I know," Revan replied. "But I could have. Seriously, maybe you'd have better luck with a sword. It's harder to miss with those, or so I'm told."

"I'm not getting that close to a Rakghoul!" Carth cried.

Revan looked surprised. "Is that…self-preservation instincts I'm hearing? Will wonders never cease?"

Carth sighed. "Let's just find Gendar."

"I saw what you did," a tall black man informed them as they walked past. "My name is Gendar and on behalf of all of us, I would like to thank you for saving that boy. We've lost enough people as it is but I can't ask the guards to put their lives at risk and lose even more people."

"I was happy to help," Carth said earnestly. "Do you need anything else done around here?"

Gendar smiled ruefully. "Not unless you happen to have secured a cure for the Rakghoul plague."

"Well at least you _already_ promised to do that," Revan tried to console himself as Carth immediately pledged their support. "Because seriously, all this future do-gooding is getting a little difficult to keep track of."

"Now since you've already helped me and have, in fact, promised us future aid, is there anything I can do to help you?" Gendar inquired politely.

"As a matter of fact, there is," Carth replied. "Do you know where we can find a Twi'lek named Mission?"

"He and Zaalbar are most likely in the sewers," Gendar replied, pointing towards an entrance. "Be warned, though, a group of Gamorrean slavers have taken to hanging out in there as well as the usual Rakghoul."

"We'll be careful," Carth assured him. "And we'll be back as soon as we get that serum. Do you know where Rukil is?"

"Oh, sure, he's right over that way," Gendar answered helpfully, nodding towards the wizened old man. "Be aware that he's just as likely to fill your head with old stories than not."

"I'll handle this," Revan told Carth as they made their way towards the story-teller.

Carth looked apprehensive. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you kind of don't care so why-"

"It will save time," Revan insisted, cutting him off. "Hi there, my friend is an obsessive-compulsive hero type who wants to solve all of your problems. What do you need done?"

Rukil looked visibly taken aback. "Well…my apprentice Mayla has gone missing recently. She was going to help us look for the 'promised land.' If you can find her journal, as well as possibly the journals of my father and grandfather, then I know for sure that I can find it and lead my people to a new home."

"Find dead apprentice, got it," Revan nodded. "Now, let's be off-"

"We don't know that she's **dead**," Carth protested. "And what is this 'promised land' that you speak of?"

Revan closed his eyes and groaned. "So much for getting out of here quickly…"

Rukil's eyes lit up and he immediately launched into an intricate tale of all of the mythos surrounding his people.

"Wow, that is absolutely fascinating," Carth said when the story was over. "We'll make sure to find those journals for you Rukil, I promise."

"Is there any point in wondering why in the world he expects there to be an underground paradise somewhere?" Revan wondered as they started making their way back towards the gates. "I mean…its underground, seriously. It's not going to be much better than here, except possibly there will be less Rakghouls, but we can solve that problem once we find that stupid serum anyway."

"Oh I quite agree," a somewhat slimy voice sounded from right behind them.

Revan sighed heavily. "Who the hell are you and what do you want from us?"

"Want?" the man asked innocently. "I don't want anything. I'm a merchant, you know. Dreadfully hard to make a living when no one ever has any money and no surface-dwellers ever come down here. Still, should you just happen to stumble across those journals…I'll buy them from you."

"Oh, so you want to be the hero by taking the credit for saving your people?" Carth asked.

The would-be merchant snorted. "Not exactly. If people lose hope in the so-called 'promised land' and I am the only one in the village with supplies, they will be forced to turn to me for leadership!"

"That…that's horrible!" Carth said, aghast. "I can't believe you would be so petty as to destroy people's hope and potentially ruin their future all because you're jealous you're not in charge."

"I hate to admit it, but I'm with Carth," Revan said, sounding a little disturbed by the prospect.

Carth blinked, confused. "You…are? Are you feeling alright?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Revan confessed. "Still, don't get used to it. In this case, if you were qualified to have a leadership position, surely your supplies would give you the upper hand and you would already BE leader. While I think this whole 'promised land' nonsense is a waste of time, if Carth is going to insist on looking for them then we're going to give it to the old guy whose voice doesn't make me feel dirty just for talking to."

"I have no idea what you mean…" the merchant protested.

Revan and Carth ignored him and turned back towards the gate.

"I'll let you out," the guard warned, "but if there's a Rakghoul chasing you then I'm not letting you in no matter how much you beg."

"I don't 'beg'," Revan insisted, narrowing his eyes menacingly.

The guard gulped. "Right, of course you don't. I'll just…shut up now."

"You do that," Revan approved.

When the pair made it to the gate of the sewer, they discovered three bodies surrounded by a group of Rakghoul. Upon killing the rabid creatures, Revan and – after some pointed looks from Revan – Carth started to loot the corpses.

"There's some medpacs and credits on this one," Revan announced. "And this one has a vial labeled 'Rakghoul serum.' Well, at least we can say that that wasn't a particularly difficult epic quest…"

"And this one has those three journals Rukil was looking for!" Carth exclaimed.

"…Seriously?" Revan asked, surprised. "All right next to each other and this close to the village? That seems rather unlikely."

"Not at all," Carth disagreed. "Clearly Mayla had found the journals and on her way back was attacked and killed by Rakghouls."

"So I was right and she was dead," Revan noted. "Not that it wasn't extremely obvious from the first."

"You don't know that," Carth countered. "She might have been taken by slavers."

"But she wasn't," Revan reminded him. "She died."

"I guess we better head back and get these journals to Rukil and some of this serum to Gendar," Carth decided. "Although I suppose we can wait to get the rest of the serum to the clinic until we're done here."

"Turn back already?" Revan couldn't believe it. "You realize we've been gone for less than ten minutes, right?"

"You realize that if we succeed we can probably just use that door we came across when we first got down to the lower city and not have to worry about heading back through the sewers?" Carth shot back.

"You have a point, my friend," Revan acknowledged reluctantly and the pair set off back towards the village.

"Back already?" the guard was surprised, to say the least. "You know most people don't give up until at least an hour or two…"

"We're not 'giving up'," Revan corrected, grimacing at the words. "We've just found a few things we promised we would look for and since we weren't that far out decided to return them now."

"If you say so," the guard remained unconvinced.

"This is already taking up far too much of my valuable time," Revan declared. "So let's split up. You take the journals to Rukil and listen to him ramble on about the promised land and I'll go find someone to cure with the serum."

"Alright," Carth agreed readily enough. "But remember: don't use all of it and don't even think about charging them for it. These people literally don't have any money."

"I know, I know…" Revan took the serum and headed off towards Gendar.

"Back again so soon?" Gendar inquired. "Or haven't you left yet?"

"Oh no, we left, found the serum, and came back," Revan replied, holding up the vial. "So who needs this?"

"You've found a cure?" Gendar whispered, shocked. "That's…I can hardly believe it. Here, take it to the quarantine pen over there. We've mostly just been keeping people there until they turn into a Rakghoul."

Revan nodded and made his way towards the quarantine area, deciding not to ask what happened after the infected turned into Rakghouls as no one there seemed to have any method for killing them. The other quarantined people were probably torn to pieces. Still, at least they weren't turning into Rakghouls.

"So," Revan greeted the woman guarding the pen. "Gendar sent me with a cure for the Rakghoul serum."

"What?" the woman gasped. "That's great! Still, I'm afraid that that won't do anything for these poor people…"

Revan peered into the quarantined area. There didn't appear to be any Rakghouls although there were seven or eight people standing around, looking terrified. "Why not?"

"Some of them are very close to transforming and I just can't take the risk of getting infected," the woman explained.

Revan raised an eyebrow. "Even though if you did you have easy access to the cure right here?"

The woman nodded. "I just can't take that chance," she insisted.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll administer it."

"Alright," the woman brightened at the thought of someone else risking themselves instead of her. "But know that I can't let you out until everyone is either dead or cured."

"Why is everyone I meet so freaking helpless?" Revan wondered as he entered the quarantined area.

"Help me…" one of the infected people pleaded immediately upon spotting Revan.

"I am here to help," Revan confirmed. "I have a cure right here and all you need to do is-"

"No," the man shook his head. "It's too late for that. I can feel the burning inside of me…you have to kill me!"

Revan gave him an odd look. "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't transformed yet, what makes you think the cure won't work on you?"

"Because I can feel the _burning_," the man said again, sounding desperate. "It won't be long now. Please! I don't want to be one of those mindless beasts!"

Revan's eye twitched. "Then take the serum! Honestly, if you haven't transformed yet, it's not too late. If it will happen soon then hurry up and take it now. We're just wasting valuable time arguing that you COULD be spending ensuring that you don't transform ever."

"No, it just won't work," the man said stubbornly. He hunched over and two other people in the pen did the same. "And now it's too late for me…"

"If you had just taken the cure then this wouldn't have happened!" Revan exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief as he watched the three men transform into Rakghouls. "As this is your own dam fault, I refuse to feel sorry for you." Revan took out his vibroblade and made quick work of the three Rakghouls.

"Thank you so much!" a different infected man said gratefully. "You saved us from getting torn apart. And you have a cure, too. You've saved us!"

"Yes, yes," Revan said dismissively. He held up the cure. "That means you'll consent to take the cure, then?"

"Oh, absolutely!" the man said enthusiastically, taking the proffered vial and curing himself and his fellow infected and previously doomed villagers.

"Thank you so much," the woman previously guarding the quarantined area gushed. "You've done the impossible, and just in time, too. Gendar has given the orders to move out. Apparently Rukil's finally found his way to the promised land."

"Really?" Revan asked neutrally. "How happy for you." He set off in search of his wayward companion, who was watching everyone pack with a triumphant smile on his face. "The journals were that helpful then?"

"Oh, like you wouldn't believe," Carth replied. "Apparently they each held part of a map and Rukil was quickly able to piece the information together. The 'promised land' is on the other side of the planet, so it may take them some time to reach so Gendar wanted to set out right away."

"At least the fact that they're leaving means no more people demanding that we make their lives suck less," Revan said, uncharacteristically optimistic.

"Yes, I just hope that they'll be okay…" Carth trailed off. "It sounds like a hard journey."

"No point just standing around watching them pack, now is there? We've got to go find Mission and sneak into the Vulkars base," Revan reminded him.

"Ah, right," Carth nodded.

The guard had apparently abandoned his post to pack for the upcoming migration and so Revan and Carth were spared his doubts about them as they set off towards the sewers again, hopefully this time actually making it inside.

Unfortunately, right as they were reaching the entrance a little blue Twi'lek came running out, looking faintly hysterical. "You've got to help me!" she begged. "No one will help me; even the Beks won't help me!"

"Mission, calm down," Carth told her gently. "What do you need help with?"

"How do you know the Beks won't help you?" Revan asked. "Have you even bothered to ask them or did you just assume that they were amoral sociopaths who couldn't be bothered even if it literally took no effort on their part?"

Carth rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Revan, they were just uniforms."

"I will not hear your lies," Revan sniffed.

"I didn't get a chance to ask yet," Mission admitted. "But I know that they won't help. They don't want to get mixed up with Gamorrean slavers and Zaalbar was just kidnapped by some of them."

"We'll help you get him back, don't worry, Mission," Carth vowed.

For once, Revan didn't make even a token attempt at fighting him. "And once we do you'll help us find our way into the Vulkar base, right?"

Mission looked surprised. "The Vulkar base, huh? Sure, why not?"

- -

Revan, Carth, and Mission – who was a surprisingly good shot, which bothered Carth immensely – took down the last of the Gamorreans and opened the door to reveal Mission's captured Wookie companion, Zaalbar.

"Mission?" Zaalbar asked, sounding puzzled. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't very well just leave you to die or get enslaved or anything, Big Z," Mission told him earnestly. "So my new friends helped me rescue you. It took awhile to wade through all those Gamorreans and Rakghouls, but we did it. They need my help to get into the Vulkar base, but after that we're free to do whatever."

"I'm not so certain of that, Mission," Zaalbar said seriously. "If it is true that these people have saved me from a life of slavery, I shall have to swear a life debt to one of them. But which one?"

"Seriously, do you have any idea what he's saying?" Carth asked.

"Of course," Revan replied, slightly affronted. "Who **doesn't** speak Wookie?"

"Most people don't," Carth said, a bit defensively. "And I happen to be one of those people."

"I guess that answers that question, then," Zaalbar murmured. "Tell me, enlightened human: what is your name?"

"Me? I'm Revan," Revan introduced. "But don't worry. I'm not THAT Revan. Well, probably not. I don't remember being a Sith Lord, but Carth doesn't believe in coincidences and apparently 'the Force can do terrible things to a mind' or something."

"…Right," Zaalbar said finally. "Are you familiar with the concept of Life Debts among my people?"

Revan nodded. "I have heard of them, yes. Are you sure you want to swear one to me? From what I can tell, they're kind of a big deal."

"And so is saving me from slavery," Zaalbar replied, not dissuaded in the slightest. "From this day forth, I pledge my life to you, Revan."

"If Big Z's coming then I'm coming, too," Mission announced. "I didn't go through all this trouble to rescue him only to lose him so easily."

"Well you're welcome to join us," Revan told them honestly. "Especially as I think the fact he's the only one here who doesn't understand what Zaalbar is saying is going to annoy him very quickly."

"Sadist," muttered Carth. "Still, if you're going to be travelling with us then you should probably be aware that we're Republic fugitives looking to rescue a Jedi named Bastila and then escape from Taris. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Would you notice if I said that I did?" Zaalbar asked rhetorically.

"No, not really," Mission replied with a shrug. "Taris isn't exactly the most pro-alien place in the galaxy, you know."

"Now that that's settled, would you please take us to the base now?" Revan asked politely.

"Oh, sure," Mission nodded. "It's right this way."

Everyone silently followed Mission for a few minutes until she stopped in front of a door with a purple force field blocking it. "Let's see if I remember those codes," Mission murmured as she approached the computer terminal that was a few feet away from the door. After a few moments with the terminal, the force field flickered and then died entirely.

"Maybe the Vulkars should think about upgrading their security if it can be beaten by a twelve-year-old," Carth mused.

"I'm fourteen!" Mission yelled. "Honestly, I'm not a kid so don't even think about treating me like one!"

"I wasn't trying to treat you like a kid," Carth tried to pacify her. "But really, only kids take offense at being called a kid…"

"SO not helping, Carth," Revan glared at him.

"You'd better be careful," Mission warned. "I'm a better shot than you are, but my aim isn't perfect."

"Did…did she just threaten me?" Carth asked, shocked.

"I didn't hear any threats," Revan replied. "She's just warning you of her unreliable aim. You probably should have warned her that you can't shoot to save your life, but she's probably picked up on that by now."

"But…she…" Carth was still spluttering as they continued to make their way deeper into the sewers and closer to the Vulkars base.

After slaughtering their way down the tunnel, they stopped just short of another door as the walls started to shake.

"Okay, what in the world was that?" Revan demanded.

"I have no idea," Mission replied. "That severed hand has a datapad in it, though. Maybe that will have the answers."

"That sounds just unlikely enough to be true," Revan decided, picking up said datapad. "Let's see…apparently there's a rancor in the sewers and whoever owned this datapad had developed some sort of synthesized odor that was supposed to attract the rancor. I'm not sure why he didn't use it instead of getting his arm torn off and possibly getting eaten, but there you go."

"And here's the synthetic odor," Zaalbar said, picking up a vial that was clearly labeled as such.

"Okay, let's open the door and see what our options are," Revan said, doing as he said he would. "There appears to be a rancor on the other side of the room. It hasn't spotted us yet, but once we go in there it will probably make short work of us. There's also a pile of corpses that we can hide the synthesized odor in and a grenade or two to blow the rancor up. I would do it myself except I came up with this idea and I've already decided Carth's not allowed to do stealth work since he won't cut it out with the battle cries."

"I'm not that bad!" Carth protested before realizing that no one was listening.

"Big Z's not really very stealthy either," Mission informed them. "So I guess it's up to me. Fortunately, I have a stealth field generator, so I should be fine."

"Good luck and try not to get eaten," Revan told he as he handed her a grenade. "Zaalbar would probably be pissed."

"Definitely," Zaalbar confirmed as he handed her the synthesized odor.

After Mission disappeared into the room with the rancor, Carth turned incredulously towards Zaalbar and Revan. "Seriously?"

"Seriously what?" Revan asked absently, keeping an eye on the rancor in case it somehow noticed Mission despite the fact that she was invisible.

"She's a child and you're making her face a rancor all on her own!" Carth cried out.

"Hey, she volunteered," Revan pointed out.

"Mission is very capable and we're right here in case something goes wrong," Zaalbar growled.

"Zaalbar said we're here in case of emergency," Revan loosely translated.

"Yeah, but still – Ow!" Carth grabbed his shin.

"And I'm not a kid," Mission said flatly, rematerializing in front of him and looking unapologetic.

"You didn't have to kick me," Carth complained.

"No? Well it felt good anyway," Mission told him.

There was an explosion from the next room and they all went to the door to see the rancor lying on the ground in front of the pile of corpses, dead.

"Next stop, Black Vulkar base," Revan said cheerfully. "So tell me, Mission, Zaalbar…exactly how fond are you guys of the Beks?"

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	5. Don't Shoot Me!

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR.

Revan and company were happily slaughtering their way through the Black Vulkar Base when a girl in the room they had just liberated screamed out, "Don't shoot me!"

"Why would we shoot you?" Revan asked, confused.

"Because she's in the Black Vulkar Base and you seem to have made it your mission in life to cleanse the Base of all life forms and droids that won't stay still long enough for you to reprogram?" Carth hazarded a guess.

Mission rolled her eyes. "Do seriously _want_ him to kill this girl? Because it sounds like you do."

"What?" Carth exclaimed. "Of course not!"

"He really needs to learn that reverse psychology is only effective if the person he's using it on doesn't decide what he actually says is a great idea," Zaalbar commented.

"You guys have no faith in me," Revan complained.

"Should we?" Zaalbar inquired, crossing his arms.

"Probably not," Revan admitted. "But tell me, why should I spare your life?"

"I have no loyalty to any of these people," the girl began.

"So?" Revan raised an eyebrow. "I have no loyalty to…well, anything, really, but I still work with groups on occasion."

"My father owed Davik money so he sold me into slavery and now I'm a waitress for the Vulkars," the girl hastened to explain.

"A 'waitress', huh?" Mission asked skeptically. "Kind of like how those girls at the Cantina were 'dancers'?"

Carth turned a disturbed eye to her. "How old did you say you were again?"

"Fourteen," Mission replied promptly. "Why? Going to call me a 'kid' again?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Carth promised. "I was just wondering exactly how much whoever raised you failed…"

"I'll have you know that my brother, while he may have abandoned me to run off with his super-bitch girlfriend Lena, did a wonderful job of raising me," Mission sniffed. "And he would never dream of selling me to a swoop gang."

"My father didn't sell me," the hapless 'waitress' tried to correct them. "Davik did."

"And he did nothing to stop them nor offer to go in your place?" Zaalbar cried, outraged. "He really shouldn't have borrowed more credits than he could hope to pay back no matter the circumstances, but if he did it anyway then you should not be the one to pay. Credit debts can eventually be worked off even if it takes years but slavery is forever."

"I know, but my mother was sick so he didn't have much choice," the 'waitress' told them.

"Can everyone except me understand what he's saying?" Carth wondered aloud.

Revan nodded. "Pretty much. And I agree with Zaalbar on this one; I hate slavery."

Carth's eyes widened. "Really? Since when do you have morals?"

"I don't normally," Revan confirmed. "But there's just so much risk and negative PR and it can get really expensive…no, you're much better off underpaying a disenfranchised group or rally them to your cause and convince them to do it for nothing."

Carth nearly fell over. "Wow. That…wow."

"Well, you could always provide fair wages, I suppose," Revan conceded. "But if you're looking into slavery as an option than you probably don't care about workers' rights, do you?"

"So…are you going to kill me or not?" the 'waitress' piped up. "Not that I want you to or anything – far from it – but the suspense is rather killing me."

"You're not going to try to kill us or ask for money or a favor, so why not let you go? It's less effort than killing you anyway," Revan decided.

"Oh, thank you so much!" the 'waitress' exclaimed as she rushed from the room. "I'll never forget your kindness!"

" 'Kindness'?" Revan repeated. "But we didn't even do anything…although if that can be considered doing good, it might not be as bad as I thought…although Carth's definition is still far too troublesome for my tastes."

"And so once again the light side prevails due to Revan's near-complete apathy," Carth muttered.

"I wouldn't recommend goading Revan about that since his apathy appears to be all that standing in the way of him and a galaxy-wide killing spree," Zaalbar cautioned.

"And I would recommend learning how to understand Big Z; he gives some pretty good advice," Mission informed Carth.

"I'm sure he does," Carth said, somewhat patronizingly.

After making their way violently through three more rooms, Revan was once again stopped by a cry of, "Don't shoot me!" This time, however, it came not from an enslaved 'waitress' but from a male green Twi'lek.

"You a 'waitress', too?" Mission asked suspiciously.

"Isn't it a waiter if it's a man?" Carth asked.

Mission snorted. "Not necessarily…"

The Twi'lek started. "No, why would I…you know what? Never mind. I am a Vulkar, true, but I'm part of the old guard. I was a Vulkar back when that used to _mean_ something. Back before **Brejik**."

"So you joined up before Brejik did," Revan said slowly. "Is that supposed to mean anything to us?"

"Brejik ruined us!" the Twi'lek claimed. "Being a Black Vulkar used to mean something! We used to have principles!"

Carth stared at him. "You were still a member of a swoop gang that's violently feuding with another gang and God help whoever gets in your way."

The Twi'lek nodded. "Yeah, a swoop gang that's violently feuding with another gang and God help whoever gets in our way with principles."

"So why didn't you quit?" Mission asked. "I know the Hidden Beks have a nice retirement plan and if the Black Vulkars didn't have something comparable, no one would join up."

"I'm still three years away from qualifying," the Twi'lek confessed. "Still, I'd rather not die for that Bek traitor so if you could just let me go, that would be great."

"Fine, go, whatever," Revan dismissed him. "I don't see why all these people have to bother me with their pleas for their life. Couldn't they just run when they see me coming?"

"Perhaps they are afraid that if they run you'll shoot them," Zaalbar ventured. "Although, really, they are just as likely to get shot before they could explain why you shouldn't kill them."

"And if they think yelling 'Don't shoot me' will help, why not shout it while running?" Revan agreed. "After all, I really have better things to do than chase down everyone here, especially if they're not liable to attack me. For instance, we still haven't seen anything even remotely resembling that swoop accelerator…"

"Oh, were you looking for the swoop accelerator?" the Twi'lek reached into his pocket and pulled out a pass code. "This will get you into the elevator below where it is actually located."

"Thanks," Revan said, surprised, as he took the proffered card.

"See?" Carth said smugly. "Being good really does pay off."

Revan shrugged. "I wouldn't go that far. Had I killed him, I would have just found it on his corpse."

The Twi'lek gulped. "I'll…just be going then, shall I?" With that, he practically bolted out the door.

"What's his problem?" Mission wondered.

Carth just groaned.

- -

"Don't shoot me!"

Some time later, the wanton slaughter was stopped yet again.

Revan sighed. "Let me guess. You're an enslaved 'waitress.' Or you liked things better before Brejik took over. Or you're an enslaved 'waitress' who was happier before Brejik came along."

The man who had stopped them, who was also a green Twi'lek, looked confused. "No, I'm not. We didn't have any 'waitresses' before Brejik took over, which would, I guess, explain why they'd have been happier before him. Still, I _love_ 'waitresses' and so Brejik running the show really works for me."

"Then why should I spare you?" Revan demanded.

"Because if you don't I'll kill you," the Twi'lek said flatly.

Mission laughed. "You can try."

"My name is Kandon Ark. I'm one of Brejik's chief lieutenants and my job is to guard the swoop accelerator. That is why you're here, is it not?" Kandon asked.

Reluctantly, Revan nodded. "The Hidden Beks won't let us race tomorrow if we don't get it."

"So you're not a Hidden Bek?" Kandon asked. "Good. I suspected as much since you're not dressed like them and don't have a general air of incompetence. What if I told you that you could still race tomorrow without needing to do the Beks dirty work?"

Revan thought about it. "I don't know…would it involve killing the Beks?"

"Well…yes," Kandon admitted. "But they're really not as pure as they'd like you to believe, you know."

"I'll be back in two hours," Revan promised, looking very much like he'd just been told he'd have an opportunity to get his beloved uniforms back. Which he had.

"Why is he the leader again?" wondered Carth, disapproving strongly but not actually bothering to do anything to try and stop him.

- -

This time, the guard at the door didn't even try to stop Revan from entering, which was really too bad as this time he really was out to kill Gadon and everyone else in the Base.

"You're back," Gadon said, sounding somewhat surprised. Apparently he didn't have as much faith in them as he'd claimed. "Did you find the accelerator?"

"I did," Revan nodded.

"And…where is it?" Gadon pressed.

"Still in the Vulkar Base," Revan replied.

Zaerdra smacked her forehead. "I told you we should have just sent one of our guys. He completely forgot he was supposed to steal the accelerator back from the Vulkars, not stare at it and confirm that they had it!"

"That was the plan," Revan agreed. "But then I got a better offer."

"A better offer?" Zaerdra scoffed. "What better offer could you have gotten? You had already broken into the Black Vulkar Base, all you had to do was return our stolen prototype."

"The Vulkars said I could race with them _and_ kill you," Revan explained. "Of course, they seemed to think that wiping all of you out was some sort of required task before they would help me, but I consider this just a win-win situation. Seriously, why don't you like these guys? From what I've seen of them, they're pretty awesome."

"Perhaps because they're trying to kill us," Gadon deadpanned. "But I really don't understand why you're doing this. We were willing to help you and you turn around and betray us…for what? You wouldn't even know where Bastila was if it weren't for us!"

"Why?" Revan laughed. "You ask why? I'll tell you why." He held his blaster up and pointed it right at Gadon. "_I liked those uniforms_."

Gadon slumped in his chair and all hell broke loose.

Fortunately, the Base was not all that big and no one was expecting an attack in the heart of their territory, so within fifteen minutes everyone there was dead.

"Hey," Mission said brightly when they were nearly finished looting. "I think Big Z found those uniforms you were looking for. I've got to say, even if I don't like the Sith, these uniforms are pretty awesome."

"I know, right?" Revan beamed. "And let me just say that you two are shaping up to be more useful to me than Carth is. And a lot less whiny about trivialities, too."

"Expressing moral outrage every time you want to just leave someone to die or massacre people who have helped us because you want some evil uniforms back is **not** 'whining about trivialities'!" Carth objected.

"Whatever you say, Carth," Revan said, rolling his eyes.

On their way out of the Base, the guard at the door stopped them. "I trust you were on your best behavior? I don't want to have to hear Zaerdra complain about some sort of Sith uniform fetish again."

"Absolutely," Mission lied.

"If nothing else, we can guarantee you won't be getting any complaints," Zaalbar informed her.

- -

"So tell me again why I have to be the one to do the race?" Revan complained the next day as the race was about to start.

"I would do it," Carth explained, "but I don't trust you not to run off and try to find some other way off the planet while I was gone, leaving me and Bastila in the lurch. Zaalbar's too tall to race and Mission – though she'd kill me for saying this – is too young. That leaves you."

"And the reason you can't stay and watch is…?" Revan pressed.

"Because I don't trust Mission and Zaalbar to stay in one place if left on their own and we really have no way of contacting them," Carth answered easily. "If you win, bring Bastila back to the apartment, okay?"

"And if I lose?" Revan asked curiously.

"If you lose then kill everyone who objects to you rescuing Bastila anyway," Carth instructed.

"So if it's okay to kill everyone standing between me and Bastila, why can't I just do that now and not have to bother with the racing?" Revan demanded.

"Because if there's a chance to avoid another massacre, I'd like to take it," Carth said firmly.

"You are seriously bringing me down, Carth," Revan complained.

Carth rolled his eyes. "I swear to God, you're worse than Dustil." He froze as he realized that he had once again inadvertently alluded to the past that he really didn't want to talk about. Fortunately for him, Revan remained completely and blissfully too self-absorbed to care. Sooner or later he would meet a more observant companion, however, and so he really should try to kick the habit now. "I'll see you after the race."

Revan looked around. Bastila was standing in a cage, looking very out of it. There appeared to be a collar on her, it was probably what was being used to keep them from slaughtering everyone. Should she not manage to break free before he finished the race and thus need to fight his way out with the Jedi, he'd make sure to remember that.

Revan approached the counter. "When am I racing?"

"Who are you?" the man behind the counter asked in turn.

"Revan," Revan introduced. "I'm the Black Vulkars last-minute addition."

"I see…normally you would have to wait a bit, but since the Hidden Beks never showed up I suppose you can race whenever you feel like," the man told him.

"Great," Revan said. "I'll go now then."

He walked over to his pod, got it, and took off. Despite the fact that to the best of his knowledge he had never been involved in a swoop race before, he found it all extremely easy and came in with the fastest time they had ever seen…until less than thirty seconds later someone came in a little over three seconds faster than he had.

"Oh, for Force's sake…" Revan muttered, climbing back into his pod. This time he pushed the pod for every ounce of speed it possessed and easily came in a full eight seconds below his previous time.

"I've never seen someone race that fast!" the man behind the counter gushed. "I don't think anyone else will even touch your time."

And as the racing drew to a close, they didn't. That was good, because if he was totally cheating and STILL couldn't beat those with a normal engine than Carth would never let him hear the end of it.

Brejik moved to stand right in front of the counter and cleared his throat. "Well, the races are over and you all did a fine job. My racer came in second and therefore I will be keeping my prize-"

"Wait, what?" Revan burst out. "I had the first and third best times! I win! Why would you be keeping Bastila?"

"Because you cheated by using an illegal prototype accelerator," Brejik answered easily.

"But I used a swoop racer that you provided," Revan pointed out.

Brejik coughed. "Be that as it may, it's still cheating so I refuse to give you my prize."

"Were you going to do that if anybody else but a Vulkar one?" Revan demanded.

"Probably," Brejik admitted. "But no one who wasn't cheating could have beaten one of my Vulkars so it really doesn't matter, now does it?"

"If you felt that way, why in the world would you put Bastila up as your share of the prize?" Revan wanted to know.

Brejik looked embarrassed. "Well, I thought I would win, you see, and it just seemed like a good idea at the time…"

"You're kind of stupid, aren't you?" Revan asked rhetorically. "I slaughtered all of the Hidden Beks in their own Base, do you really think I can't take you down?"

Brejik scowled. "I guess we'll have to see, won't we?"

"Yes, we will," Bastila agreed, suddenly opening her eyes, removing her collar, and using the Force to throw open her cage.

"You…but we had a neural disruptor on you!" Brejik sputtered.

"And now you don't," Bastila told him. "And now you die."

With those words, an epic skirmish broke out. Everyone who wasn't a Vulkar quickly fled leaving Bastila and Revan with far less opponents than they had expected.

Once the last of the Vulkars were laying dead at their feet, Bastila angrily turned to Revan, "And as for you, if you honestly think you can claim me as your own then I'm going to shove my lightsaber down your throat, you…_Revan_?!?!"

"You know my name?" Revan asked, brightening. "That is so awesome. I'm not here to 'claim' you, I'm here to rescue you. I understand that you could have dealt with those thugs all on your own, but you have a better chance of escaping the planet alive if you team up with a Republic soldier."

"You're with the Republic?" Bastila asked uncertainly.

Revan snorted. "As if. My contract expired when the Endar Spire did. Carth's a Republic soldier, though, and I guess you could say I'm with him."

"Carth Onasi is alive?" Bastila smiled. "I guess things aren't as bad as I'd feared. Still, to have been saved by you of all people…"

"Hey, what do you mean me 'of all people'?" Revan demanded. "Why does everyone always think I'm an amoral sociopath? Wait, don't answer that…"

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	6. Why Is Revan In Charge Again?

Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"I'm just saying, as the _Republic's Only Hope_ I'm nearly positive I outrank you," Bastila was saying. She and Carth had been very pleased to see each other for all of two minutes before the bickering about leadership began.

"You're not even old enough to drink on most planets," Carth objected. "Besides, Jedi don't have official military ranking."

"So are you saying you should be in charge?" Bastila challenged.

"I am an actual officer in the Republic military, yes," Carth nodded.

"And you did nothing when you were in charge to get us off this planet," Bastila said flatly.

"We were a _little_ busy trying to save you, remember?" Carth snapped. "Or did you not notice that little detail between being trapped by a neural disruptor and having no idea what to do once you were freed?"

"You don't have any idea of what to do either," Bastila pointed out. "And you were quite unimpeded by a neural disruptor so what's your excuse?"

"We were looking for you!" Carth repeated. "Are you deaf or something?"

"No, I heard you," Bastila said coldly. "But I rescued myself quite nicely, thank you very much."

"Really?" Carth asked skeptically. "Because the fight was on the holonet after the race and it seemed to me that the only reason you got away was because Brejik was distracted because he was arguing with Revan."

"So maybe the…assistance facilitated things," Bastila admitted. "But Brejik would have been distracted by gloating had he actually won."

"Hey Carth, didn't you put Revan in charge before Bastila got here?" Mission piped up. "Even though you know you're going to disagree with pretty much everything he does?"

Bastila raised an eyebrow at that. "Is that true?"

Carth glared at Mission. "Not helping," he hissed. "And yes, it is. Revan can be…very persuasive."

Hearing his name, Revan looked up from the datapad he's been examining. It appeared Carth and Bastila were still at it. "I am fully committed to getting us off of Taris alive," he told Bastila, staring her straight in the eye.

"I…I suppose you're right," Bastila said reluctantly, knowing full well what he'd just did but unable to bring herself to doubt him nonetheless. "If we all died, that would be rather bad for you, now wouldn't it?"

"So now that we've decided that Revan's in charge, what should we do?" Carth asked.

Of course, now that Revan was actually being called upon to decide things, he wished he'd just let Bastila be in charge. Although if she was anything like Carth then Force knew she'd have him running all sorts of bothersome errands.

"You're the one who effectively just put yourself back in charge," Zaalbar reminded him. "Actions and consequences."

"What? So I can't change my mind?" Revan demanded.

"No, it's far too late for that. Everything's decided," Bastila told him.

"Fine…" Revan sighed heavily. "I guess that if the Sith are really shooting down everything that tries to leave the planet without authorization we'll need to steal those codes and the best way to do that is to break into the Sith Base."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Carth said brightly. "I knew we put you in charge for a reason."

"I suppose that even if you really should have gotten these before instead of trying to 'rescue' me, that is a sound plan," Bastila conceded.

"If we didn't go looking for you, how would you have found us or even known we were here?" Carth demanded.

"I'm a walking Dues Ex Machina, remember?" Revan prompted.

"The Force would have guided me, of course," Bastila answered at the exact same time.

"Well, which is it?" Mission asked. "The Force or Revan's strange ability to be in the right place at the right time?"

"The Force…" Bastila trailed off, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. "It often operates much like a Deus Ex Machina."

"Does this mean that Revan is Force Sensitive?" Zaalbar asked reasonably.

Bastila looked horrified. "Force, I hope not! We shall have to see, however."

"Why would you hope I'm not Force Sensitive?" Revan asked, highly offended. "Don't you kind of need all the help you can get?"

"Well, yes, but in my experience you're either a Jedi or a Sith. Or a mad hermit on a backwater planet, I suppose, but you're a little young for that. You're not very heroic so if I had to guess, I'd say a Force Sensitive you would be more likely to become a Sith than a Jedi," Bastila explained.

"Except Carth explained that the Sith retirement package sucked," Revan countered. "What's the Jedi retirement plan like?"

"We…don't really have one," Bastila confessed. "Although I suppose as the Jedi are highly esteemed throughout the Republic there would be many options open to you and many people who are highly grateful to you personally for the good you've done for them and you could easily work something out if you were to step down from active duty."

"What is their stance on double-bladed lightsabers?" Carth asked, remembering it was kind of a deal-breaker for Revan.

Looking perplexed, Bastila responded with, "They are discouraged, certainly, but if one fights better with them then they are accepted."

"I am SO joining the Jedi," Revan vowed, looking delighted.

"We don't even know that you're Force Sensitive!" Bastila protested.

"That's assuming that I am, of course," Revan assured her. "So…who wants to go invade the Sith Base with me?"

"I'll go," Carth volunteered. "Seeing as how I still don't trust you."

"I'll go, too," Bastila consented. "Since you two clearly can't get much done on your own."

Revan winced at the thought of spending time with two such unabashed do-gooders who didn't seem to get along very well and looked to Mission and Zaalbar pleadingly.

"Sorry Revan," Mission shrugged. "Your plan sounds suicidal and Big Z and I don't really have any pressing need to leave the planet so we're staying here."

"We'll make sure no one steals anything," Zaalbar offered.

"But…there's nothing here TO steal," Revan pointed out.

"That should make our job easier, then," Zaalbar noted.

Revan rolled his eyes and followed Carth and Bastila out of the apartment.

"Don't forget, we need to deliver the serum to the clinic and let Dia know she's off the hook," Carth reminded him.

"Well, I did say if it didn't inconvenience me we'd help Dia and she is literally two doors down so…why not?" Revan asked rhetorically, moving over to Dia's apartment and expertly breaking in.

"Don't come any closer," Dia warned, waving her vibroblade threateningly. "I…oh, it's you. Did you get a chance to look into my bounty yet?" she asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"We talked to what's-his-name for you," Revan answered. "He agreed to drop the bounty."

"H-he did?" Dia couldn't believe it. "I…thank you. Thank you so much!"

"It was no trouble," Carth told her kindly. "Revan made sure of it."

"Would you accept a reward?" Dia asked. "I don't have much, but I do have an old family heirloom that might come in handy."

Carth waited for Revan to jump at the chance for material gain, but to his great surprise, Revan shook his head. "There's really no need; I was happy to help," Revan lied.

Carth exited the apartment somewhat in a state of shock.

"What was that all about?" Bastila asked.

"Some guy tried to molest Dia so she kicked his ass, he put a bounty on her, and we convinced him to take it off," Revan summarized.

Bastila eyed him approvingly. "You did, did you? That was good of you."

"I seek only to make the galaxy a better place," Revan claimed.

"Between the two of us, why did you really turn down the reward?" Carth whispered, pulling Revan back. "Or were you just trying to impress Bastila?"

"Well, there's that, too," Revan admitted. "But do you remember how annoyed you were when I stole from her after you agreed to help her?"

"Yeah," Carth said slowly. "You didn't!"

"I did," Revan confirmed. "I already have her precious heirloom and I thought it might be awkward for her to have to look for it and take up far too much time."

"Why did you take it then if she was just going to give it to us after we helped?" Carth inquired. "I mean, she doesn't have much and you'd have to have known she'd be grateful."

"I might have," Revan agreed. "But how was I supposed to know we'd actually end up helping her? Besides, kleptomaniac, remember?"

"Excuse me," a Rodian held them up. "Would you, by any chance, be the Black Vulkar that won the swoop race in the lower city?"

Revan shook his head. "Sorry."

"Look, I know it's you, okay?" the Rodian said impatiently. "My boss-"

"If you knew it was me that won the race, why did you ask?" Revan interrupted. "And I wasn't lying; you asked if I was the 'Black Vulkar' who won the race and I'm a freelancer."

"Well, you would almost have to be the way you slaughtered all the Vulkars," the Rodian remarked. "My boss, Canderous Ordo, wants to meet you in the Upper City cantina. **Don't** keep him waiting." With that, he spun on his heel and walked away.

"Wait, what does he want to meet us for-" Bastila began, but it was too late. The messenger was gone. "Do you think it's a trap?"

"How could it be a trap?" Carth asked. "He didn't tell us anything but the guy who is supposed to be there and we don't even know who or what he is."

"I say we go see him," Revan declared. "I love Mandalorians. They're so very practical."

Bastila sighed. "You would think that…"

"Wait…" Carth trailed off. "This guy's a Mandalorian? Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," Revan confirmed, looking surprised. "Canderous of Clan Ordo. I think I might have heard of him, actually…"

"How do you know so much about Mandalorians?" Carth asked suspiciously.

Revan shrugged. "I don't know? Because they're awesome, I guess."

Carth wondered if maybe he should have let Bastila be in charge after all, even if she was just nineteen.

- -

After a quick stop at the clinic to drop off the serum – during which Revan complained the entire time about how they could have been meeting with a Mandalorian at that very minute instead of sorting out the problems of people who were only sick because they wouldn't stay out of the Undercity – Revan, Carth, and Bastila made their way to the Cantina.

Revan scanned the patrons of the Cantina and approached a grizzled-looking man of about sixty. "Canderous of Ordo?"

The man, who indeed seemed to be Canderous, looked pleased to be properly addressed. "I saw your swoop racing and it was very impressive. Somewhat more impressive was how you and that slave girl took on the Vulkars and won."

"I am _not_ a slave girl," Bastila hissed.

Canderous looked inquiringly at Revan, who shrugged.

"What can I say?" he asked rhetorically. "She had a lightsaber and I am rather attached to all of my appendages."

Canderous nodded. "I see. How would you like to get the launch codes to escape Taris from the Sith base for me? I'll provide you with transportation off of the planet."

"We were planning on doing that anyway," Revan informed him. "So why do we need you?"

"The security at the Base is pretty tight. You'd need to pick up the T3-M4 unit Davik had commissioned in order to get in. Just tell them Canderous sent you," Canderous instructed.

"Done and done," Revan agreed, shaking Canderous' hand. "A pleasure doing business with you, my good man."

Carth started banging his head on the wall.

- -

"I'm back for my T3," Revan announced as he entered the droid store.

Janice paled. "Does that mean you killed Davik?"

"Not yet," Revan admitted. "It could still happen. Canderous asked me to pick it up for him."

"Well, despite the fact that I know you're kind of obsessed, you're far too heavily armed for me not to believe you," Janice decided. "That'll be two thousand credits."

Revan snorted. "I'm not paying; charge it to Davik's account."

"Well…alright, I guess," Janice said uncertainly. "He'd probably reimburse you anyway, right?"

As they made their way back towards the Sith Base, Bastila wondered, "What did she mean by 'you're obsessed'?"

"I have no idea," Revan said virtuously.

"He threatened to kill the most powerful crime lord on the planet to get that thing," Carth explained.

T3 beeped a few times.

"T3 says he's not a 'thing' he's a droid and you had better remember that as he's equipped with some very powerful shockers and a flamethrower," Revan translated.

"Now our droid's sociopathic, too?" Carth complained. "Why?"

Revan laughed. "You think this is sociopathic? I knew a sociopathic droid once…he was awesome. He looked like a protocol droid except he called everyone meatbags and then assassinated them. I wonder whatever happened to him."

"I hope we never find out," Bastila murmured.

When they reached the door to the Sith Base, T3 moved forward and worked on the lock for a few seconds before the door opened.

"Isn't T3 great?" Revan gushed. "I think I really like droids."

"You don't say," Bastila said dryly.

Walking into the Base, they were immediately stopped by the Sith receptionist. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No, we're just here to kill everyone and I've discovered that that works best when they don't know you're coming," Revan explained.

"I see," the receptionist frowned. "Well, I certainly don't want to die and while I could probably press this button alerting the entire base before you kill me, that still would involve me dying as there's four of you and only one of me and I'm not armed."

"You should be if you work in a Sith Base," Carth told her.

"Why don't you get out of here so you're not in our way when we start killing people?" Bastila suggested.

The receptionist hesitated. "Well, I would, but you see…what if you were to fail to kill everyone? If I leave my desk and I'm not on my break then I don't get paid for that hour."

"Then why don't you take your break now?" Carth asked.

"I took my break forty-five minutes ago," the receptionist answered primly.

"Okay, this is so stupid," Revan said, massaging his forehead. "How much do you get paid an hour?"

"Fifty credits," came the prompt response.

"Then here you go," Revan said, placing a fifty credit ship in the woman's palm.

"Have fun slaughtering the base," the receptionist told them before practically skipping out the door.

"Guess she's not THAT fond of her job," Revan commented as he made his way to the terminal on the desk she had just vacated. After working at it for a few minutes, he announced, "Okay, I've overloaded several circuits and wiped out quite a few Sith, I deactivated the droids, and turned off the gun turrets. Now what?"

"Now we kill anything that moves and show no mercy," Carth instructed. "These are Sith, after all."

- -

"I think we'll have to let this one out of the cage in order to kill him," Revan said, eyeing the Duros in the force . "Or maybe we can see if this terminal will overload the cage…"

"You can't just kill him!" Bastila said, sounding aghast.

"Why not?" Revan asked. "If even the Sith feel the need to lock him up, he's probably evil."

"Or it could mean that he's being imprisoned for doing something to stand against them," Bastila said reasonably.

"I actually agree with Bastila on this one," Carth said, sounding surprised. Ah, well, it was better than agreeing with Revan again at any rate. "And for that matter, I think I recognize him. You're that guy who we saved from the Sith earlier, right?"

"Yes, yes I am," the Duros confirmed quickly. "They caught me hiding the bodies and so they locked me up here and plan on executing me whenever they get either sufficiently bored or receive some bad news."

"I'd say us slaughtering the entire base would count as sufficiently bad news," Revan mused. "And didn't I tell you to just leave the bodies there? You brought this on yourself, you know."

"Well if I hadn't done anything then maybe you'd be in my place," the Duros snapped.

"Kind of doubt it," Revan countered. "Seeing as how I'm at least three hundred times as awesome as you."

"…Right then," the Duros said awkwardly. "Can you let me out, please? I really don't want to die."

"You won't ask us for money or any other assistance once we do so, will you?" Revan asked suspiciously.

"No, just my life is good enough for me," the Duros promised.

"Then I see no reason not to help you," Revan said cheerfully. "Of course, I don't care enough to do it myself so someone please let him out?"

Sighing, Bastila went over to the console and solved the ridiculously tedious logic puzzle to free him.

"Thank you so much!" the Duros cried before quickly running off.

"Think we should tell him that that's the hallway we haven't disposed of all life-forms in yet?" Carth asked, watching him go.

"I would," Bastila said, "but I'm still annoyed there was no simple 'release' option on the console."

Revan shrugged. "He'll figure it out soon enough."

- -

"How did you get in here, you…_Revan_?" the Sith governor exclaimed, sounding stunned.

Revan's eyes narrowed in confusion. "How do you know him I am?"

Bastila coughed. "He's probably a swoop fan."

"What a dilemma," the Sith governor muttered. "On the one hand, if I defeated you, my master would surely give me a lightsaber-"

"Wait, you don't even have a lightsaber yet?" Carth interrupted. "Bastila, Republic's only hope or not, is only an apprentice and she has one. And you say you're in charge here? No wonder we haven't encountered any real problems…"

The Sith governor glared at him. "Well nobody asked you. Now what was I saying? Oh, right. If I won or even lived, I'd probably get a lightsaber, but on the other hand…_Revan_. Even Malak wouldn't take him on without an entire ship and even that wasn't enough, I see. You know what, this just isn't worth it. You're here for the launch codes? Just take them."

Revan stepped forward and took the proffered datapad. "Thanks," he said, sounding confused.

"Will you please let me live?" the Sith governor begged.

"I guess so," Revan decided. "I mean, not killing you saves us at least five minutes."

"But…but he's a Sith!" Carth protested. "And even if he's not good enough for a lightsaber, in order to be put into a position of authority, he's probably had to commit many heinous crimes."

"But think of the five minutes we'll save, Carth!" Revan cried. "Even if you do seem dead-set on wasting it arguing with me."

Carth sighed. "Fine, whatever. But why is he so scared of you?"

"Because I can aim properly?" Revan suggested. "Unlike most of the people on the so-called Light side."

"I agree," Bastila said quickly. "Good aim is getting harder and harder to find these days."

"I don't know…I still feel like I'm missing something…" Carth muttered.

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	7. Making the Last Five Chapters Obsolete

Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"I heard about the break-in at the Sith base," Canderous said by way of greeting. "Very nice. Everyone who was at the Base save the Sith governor is apparently dead and word has it he's too terrified of you to take any action against you. What did you DO to him?"

"Nothing," Revan replied, perplexed. "I suppose it could just be my incredible awesomeness shining through."

"Well it certainly isn't your modesty," Carth muttered.

"Modesty is for lesser mortals," Revan insisted, crossing his arms.

Bastila coughed. "I actually agree with Revan. Sith are easily intimidated by strong personalities and Revan's taking charge at the Swoop Race was evidently too much for him," she lied.

"I see," Canderous replied, looking unconvinced. "So you have the codes, then?"

"The Sith governor just handed them over," Revan confirmed.

"Well if it worked out then I suppose there's no point worrying about little details like 'how'," Canderous decided. "So are you ready to go to Davik's estate? I can just pretend I'm recruiting you and you'll need to stay on as 'guests' until you're properly vetted, which gives us plenty of time to rob him blind and steal his ship."

"Are we really sure we want someone with so little loyalty along with us?" Carth demanded.

"Why not?" Bastila asked rhetorically. "We elected _Revan_ to be our leader, after all, and I'm not sure he even fully comprehends the meaning of the word."

"Which is exactly why we don't need to bring along any likeminded companions," Carth insisted. "At least Mission and Zaalbar seem to be loyal to each other and from what I've heard Zaalbar is loyal to Revan. If I could just understand him I'd be sure…not that any of this would help if Revan decided to kill us all and Mission and Zaalbar backed him up…"

"You're really paranoid," Bastila noted.

Revan glanced over. "Is he? I didn't notice."

"The sad thing is I'm not sure if he's being sarcastic or if he truly didn't care enough to notice," Bastila mused, shaking her head.

Canderous cleared his throat. "If you two are quite done pretending that you get any say in whether I come along or not, I suggest we get going."

Revan, who actually did have a say in such matters, held up a hand. "Wait. While I appreciate you enabling me to get T3, I have to ask: am I going to need to hand him over to Davik or will you be expecting him back? Because if so then I'm willing to scrap the plan and just slaughter my way to whatever ship's available."

"Davik will be wanting T3 back but if I tell him that I still need it and make up an excuse as to why he should let us keep it long enough for us to escape with it," Canderous assured him.

Revan eyed Canderous suspiciously. "And you don't think I have an unhealthy attachment to T3?"

"Not at all," Canderous replied, shaking his head. "I was quite attached to my Basilisk war droid back in the day…"

A slow smile spread across Revan's face. "You know, I think we're going to get along just great."

"The Sith are a greater menace than Revan, the Sith are a greater menace than Revan…" Carth repeated to himself like a mantra while Bastila patted his arm sympathetically and resolved to drag them all to Dantooine as soon as possible.

- -

"_Admiral Karath, are we any closer to locating Bastila?" Malak demanded, much more interested in observing the planet below him than in facing his subordinate._

"_Not yet, my Lord," Karath admitted. "But given a little more time…"_

"_Given a little more __**time**__, Admiral, and she and Revan will find a way off the planet and disappear," Malak snapped._

_Karath started visibly. "Revan? I thought he was dead."_

"_So did I," Malak said dryly. "But then I decided to watch a local Swoop Race and, well, he's not."_

"_But…he was hit by a ship. How is he not…? What are your orders, Lord Malak?" Karath asked, still looking stunned. _

"_If obliterating his ship wasn't enough, let's see if destroying the planet he's on will be enough to kill him," Malak replied, sounding genuinely curious as to whether or not it would be._

"Revan, now's hardly the time to be daydreaming," Bastila hissed, elbowing him from in the stomach and bringing him back to reality. "Davik will be here any minute."

Revan blinked. "That's so weird. I usually don't start hallucinating until I've had more drinks than it takes to kill a Mandalorian."

Canderous eyed Revan with new respect in his eyes. "We should really think about making this alliance of ours a longer-term arrangement than just getting off the planet."

"So what were you daydreaming about?" Carth asked, knowing full well that he probably didn't want to know but that that kind of thinking would land them with a Mandalorian on their epic quest to…well, they didn't have an epic quest yet but they probably would at some point.

"Oh, that," Revan shrugged. "Apparently Malak recognized me from the Swoop Race and ordered someone named Karath to raze Taris to see if that will kill me. He also mentioned Bastila as he thinks if they wait much longer than the two of us will escape the planet together, but he seemed mostly concerned with killing me."

"I'm starting to suspect that swearing a life debt to you wasn't the safest thing I could have done," Zaalbar remarked. "Although if they won't come at you directly..."

"Swoop Racing sure is big news, huh?" Mission mused. "Even the bad guys watch it."

"Saul!" Carth hissed, his eyes flashing.

Bastila glanced over in concern but no one else seemed interested. "It's a good thing that once I arrived we actually started getting things done then, isn't it?"

"Hey, don't look at me," Revan said defensively. "I was all for hurrying up and getting off this rock but Carth kept insisting that we do such stupid things as 'rescue Bastila' or 'help feed the homeless orphaned kittens' or whatever."

"Aren't you supposed to be the leader?" Canderous asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Technically," Revan admitted, "but if I don't do at least some of that stuff than Carth tends to lecture me. Loudly and incessantly."

"I've known my fair share of lecturers," Canderous said fondly. "Of course, I've killed most of them, too. Good times…"

Carth really didn't like where this conversation seemed to be heading so he was relieved to see who he supposed must be Davik heading towards them. He was less relieved to see Calo Nord again.

"I see you couldn't make it on your own, Canderous," Calo taunted. He tilted his head. "Didn't I tell you two to stay out of my way?"

"Yeah,but that was yesterday," Revan said, as if that made any difference. "Besides, this is just a coincidence."

"Oh, no, I can handle myself quite well, Calo," Canderous assured him. "But when Davik picked you up I realized he must be desperate so I decided to do him a favor and find five people more competent than you. It took me roughly half a minute at the Cantina to find these people."

"Now, now, boys," Davik laughed. "Save the violence for my enemies or for my personal amusement later. So these are new recruits then? I think I recognize two of them. You won that Swoop Race earlier today, didn't you? Although I thought that girl was supposed to be a slave?"

Revan shrugged. "You really want to try to enslave a girl with a double-bladed lightsaber?"

"Hm, no I suppose you do have a point," Davik conceded. "And attempting that very thing wiped out the Vulkars, or so I hear. No word on what happened to the Beks, though."

"They pissed me off," Revan said simply.

Davik's eyes lit up. "I see. And your companions are all capable enough? I can definitely see us working together in the future, after I've given you thorough background checks. It wouldn't do for me to hire a spy or a plant, now would it? I'll give you a tour of the facilities and then you can stay on as my guest for the next few days."

"And if we decline your offer?" Carth asked.

Davik shot him a look that clearly said he was being stupid. "Then why the hell would you come here in the first place?"

"…Point," Carth admitted.

Davik peered closely at T3. "Is that my T3-M4 droid?"

Revan tensed, his hand twitching towards his vibroblade.

"It is," Canderous confirmed. "Although I still need it to get those launch codes for you, especially since security is bound to be tighter after that break-in a few hours ago."

"Oh, is this your droid?" Revan asked innocently. "You should know that I was forced to pay 2000 credits in order to pick him up for Canderous so…"

Davik nodded. "Of course. I'll see to it that 2000 credits are delivered to your room by the time our tour is concluded. Now, our first stop is the Ebon Hawk. It's the only ship on this planet capable of outrunning the Sith blockade you know…"

- -

The smart thing to do would have been to head straight for the Hawk but Revan 'couldn't remember the way' and was quite happily robbing every room he came across.

"Would you like a massage?" a Twi'lek in the room he was currently in asked.

Revan opened his mouth to respond in the affirmative but Bastila beat him to the punch.

"Thanks but no thanks," she said firmly. "We're in a hurry."

Revan's shoulders sagged as he realized she had a point. How long could it possibly take to destroy the planet, anyway? "I'm at least robbing the room," he announced. No one seemed to care, so he quickly went to work. He was about to leave when a thought occurred to him. "Hey, say we were theoretically out to steal the Ebon Hawk right out from under Davik's nose. Would there be anything we might need to know?"

The Twi'lek looked at each other.

"Not unless you didn't know the Ebon Hawks' security codes, in which case I suggest you talk to the former Ebon Hawk pilot, Hudrow. He should be in one of Davik's interrogation cells," one of them offered.

"See?" Revan said smugly as he moved on to the next room. "This WAS a good idea."

"We could have asked them without stealing from them, you know," Carth pointed out. Revan shot him an incredulous look and he sighed. "Right, forgot who I was talking to for a second."

The next room had an angry Rodian in it. "What is this?" he demanded. "I was told I would have privacy and here I am, interrupted, and not even by a slave girl!"

"Bastila used to be a slave girl," Mission offered, ignoring Bastila's glare.

"I was almost a slave but not a girl," Zaalbar added.

"Well 'almost' and 'used to' aren't good enough," the Rodian sniffed.

"Look, we're sorry to disturb you and we'll leave in a minute, we just have to take everything that isn't nailed down first," Revan informed him.

The Rodian started. "What? You can't just do that?"

Canderous raised an eyebrow. "Do you really care if we steal from Davik? And if so, is it worth your life?"

The Rodian slumped. "I guess not…"

"Great!" Revan beamed as he quickly proceeded to do just as he said.

A few more burgled rooms later, Revan and company found themselves standing before a man in a Force Cage.

"Are you, by any chance, Hudrow the former pilot of the Ebon Hawk?" Carth hazarded a guess.

The man in the cage looked surprised. "I am, actually, and may I say that that was oddly specific?"

Carth shrugged. "Go ahead."

"That was oddly specific," Hudrow repeated.

"We're planning on stealing the Ebon Hawk so we need your security codes," Revan explained.

"Wait, what about me?" Hudrow asked.

Revan blinked. "What _about_ you? We already have a pilot. Although…how inclined are you to lecture me for not rescuing babies out of burning trees?"

"…I would probably just do it myself," Hudrow announced.

"Competent, too," Revan mused.

"But all of this is quite beside the point since I **am** already willing to pilot," Carth quickly spoke up.

"I'll give you the codes if you let me out of here," Hudrow offered.

Revan eyed the console. "It looks like another puzzle…let me tell you, that is a pretty convincing method to get people to not free prisoners. What's to stop me from overloading the Force Cage – which I can do right now – and then taking the security codes from your corpse?"

"Nothing," Hudrow replied. "Except that I don't have the code on me so I'd have to verbally tell you."

"Touché," Revan acknowledged. "Bastila?"

Bastila sighed. She knew she'd regret stepping up to solve the puzzle to save that Duros earlier. "Fine…"

Five minutes later, Hudrow was free. "Okay," he said. "If you'll just give me your data pad I can enter the codes."

Revan did and Hudrow quickly entered them before running off in case Revan decided that killing him was worth the effort (it wasn't). Shortly afterwards, the estate started shaking so they could only assume that the attack had finally started and so hurried along to the Ebon Hawk. When they reached the hanger bay, they found Davik and Calo already there.

"What's this?" Davik demanded. "You've decided to betray me and steal my ship, Canderous?"

"How in the world did you draw that conclusion just from us being here?" Mission demanded. "Maybe we're just looting the place. Or we could be lost. We weren't really paying attention on your little tour, you know."

"But Canderous has been here before," Davik pointed out. "And ARE you here to steal my ship?"

"The point wasn't that we weren't going to do that," Zaalbar explained. "Just that you shouldn't skydive to conclusions like that."

"Well if you're not going to deny being here for my ship then I'm not going to just stand by and get robbed!" Davik announced. "I'll see you dead first."

"Look," Revan interjected. "We could have the typical cliché 'who gets the ship' fight or we could realize that we could all die at any moment and just all go together."

"We could do that," Davik agreed. "Except that it's my freaking ship and I don't want to."

Revan shrugged. "You're loss. Canderous?"

Canderous held up a blaster and shot Davik in the head, killing him instantly.

"Okay, now I know bringing him with us is a bad idea," Carth declared.

"Why?" Mission asked. "He looks useful."

"And Mandalorian honor prevents them from killing their superiors without a good reason so unless Revan decides to kill you, you should be fine," Zaalbar continued.

Carth groaned. "SO not helping, guys."

"Everybody freeze!" Calo ordered, holding up a thermal detonator. "Davik may be dead but I refuse to share a ship with Canderous so you either let me take the ship or I'll blow us all to pieces."

"But if we stay here we'll die anyway," Bastila pointed out.

"SO not my prob-" Calo started to say before the ceiling collapsed on him.

"I guess it kind of was," Revan commented. "Okay everyone, let's go."

With that, they hurriedly piled onto the ship and Carth headed for the cockpit, the rest trailing behind him for lack of anything better to do.

"You know, if there's one thing I hate worse than being forced to go out of my way for other people who really should learn to be self-sufficient, it's being forced to go out of my way for other people who really should learn to be self-sufficient and end up dying within a day or two due to a planet-wide attack. I'm officially adding this to my list of reasons to kill Malak," Revan announced.

Bastila started. "You have a list of reasons to kill Malak?"

"I do now," Revan said grimly. "It's not a very long list, granted, but that was two days of my life that I'll never get back."

"At least the people in the Under City should be okay," Mission consoled him. "And maybe even some of the people in the Lower City."

"But the people in the Under City were even more annoying and helpless than the people in the Upper City!" Revan complained.

"I recommend you take what you can get," Zaalbar advised.

"Incoming!" Carth shouted. "Sith fighters are attacking us! Someone needs to get to the gun turret and take them out."

Everyone looked to Revan.

"What?" he demanded. "If I'm really the leader then I'm choosing to delegate. Canderous?"

"Why not?" Canderous replied. "I've never liked people who try to kill me who don't also happen to be Revan."

"Yes, well then you really should hurry up and get to the Sith killing," Bastila said quickly.

After Canderous left, Mission turned to Zaalbar. "Hey Big Z? This used to be a smuggling ship, right? You want to go see if there's any contraband left on it?"

"Sure," Zaalbar agreed. "If only to make sure you don't take anything. Do try and remember you're fourteen, Mission, even if you're not a child."

"So where should we head to?" Carth asked. "Any Republic-friendly planet with a decent population should enable us to hook back up with the fleet and-"

"I vote Nar Shaddaa," Revan said immediately.

"I vote Dantooine," Bastila countered.

Carth considered his options. "No and why?"

"There's a Jedi Enclave there and we really need to see if Revan's Force Sensitive before he goes and accidentally kills someone for annoying him," Bastila said, appealing to Carth's self-preservation instincts and his awareness that he often annoyed Revan.

"Dantooine it is," Carth announced.

"I hate you both," Revan glowered.

"You'll get your own lightsaber if we find out you are," Bastila enticed. "And if not then you can head to Nar Shaddaa from there."

"That works," Revan allowed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I plan on taking a nap. Wake me when we get to Dantooine."

- -

_An obviously younger Malak complete with fully-functioning jaw paced nervously before some ancient ruins. "Are you really sure this is a good idea, Revan? I mean, the Jedi are already annoyed enough that we ran off to go lead the Republic fleet, took a good portion of the Order with us, and then disappeared for months on end. If we go in here, that might be the straw that broke the bantha's back. We might never be able to go back. Ever." Clearly, he expected the severity of the situation to make some impression on his companion._

"_Then let's not go in," Revan suggested, his voice sounding muffled behind the cloak and mask he was wearing. "I don't really care either way but I need to get to the Cantina by six because I've got a date…"_

"_You're not supposed to try and talk me out of this!" Malak exclaimed, throwing up his hands in frustration. "You're supposed to be assuaging my doubts!"_

"_Oh," Revan said. "How about 'don't be silly, Malak, the Jedi won't give a damn that we're breaking all of their most sacred tenants left and right and they'll gladly welcome us back with open arms.'"_

"_It would help if you could at least try to be convincing," Malak critiqued, rolling his eyes._

_Revan was unrepentant. "Beggars can't be choosers. And that would sound a lot more convincing if this mask didn't prevent eye contact…"_

"_Why are you wearing that ridiculous get-up anyway?" Malak demanded. "You can't even see if you're a man or a woman."_

"_I have to wear this," Revan insisted. "Do you know how hard it is to get a date if the girl knows you could have her tortured and killed if it doesn't go well?"_

"_Ladies and gentleman: the Savior of the Republic," Malak said sardonically._

"_Look, I didn't even want to be here. You're the one who said that this was a good idea so it's unreasonable to expect me to convince you to go through with this," Revan declared, crossing his arms._

"_You think it's a good idea, too," Malak claimed, finally deciding to stop stalling and walk through the doorway. "You just didn't want to put forth the effort to do it so it was up to me to convince you…again! I swear, without me you'd never get anything done."_

"_And I would be much happier for it," Revan noted as he followed his friend into the darkness. "Which really makes me wonder why I keep you around."_

"_Because it would be too troublesome to make me leave?" Malak suggested as their voices faded away._

- -

"I don't know what time it is, but it is most certainly too early," Revan grumbled as he stumbled out of the Ebon Hawk. "I see we landed on Dantooine, then."

"Yeah, a few hours ago," Carth confirmed. He was standing a few feet away from the ship. "What's going on? Bastila tore out of here looking like she'd seen a ghost and said to send you to the Council when you woke up."

"I have no idea," Revan answered, yawning. "I did have a dream about Revan and Malak exploring some ruin on what appeared to be Dantooine. Maybe that means something?"

"No one ever tells me anything!" Carth complained.

Revan stared at him. "But…I just did, Carth. I told you everything. I don't know anything else and I won't know anything else until I go see what Bastila's Jedi friends want."

"Just go," Carth sniffed, turning away. "And you people wonder why I have trust issues…"

"You have trust issues?" Revan repeated, surprised. "I honestly had no idea. Nor do I really care, come to think of it…"

With that, Revan made his way into the Jedi Enclave without further incident but once inside was stopped by a girl with a brown ponytail and equally brown robes. "You!" she cried. "How dare you disrespect our order by not wearing the proper Padawan robes?!?!"

"Do these 'Padawan robes' look anything like the ones you have on right now?" Revan inquired politely.

The girl looked surprised. "Yes, they do."

"Then you're answer is: because they look stupid," Revan answered pleasantly. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

"But how else will people know you're a Padawan?" the girl continued stubbornly. "Not everyone can just sense the Force in you like I can, you know."

"You can sense the Force in me?" Revan asked, intrigued. "I guess that answers that question. Still, I wonder why Miss 'Republic's Only Hope' couldn't…"

"Are you planning on answering my question?" the girl asked a little awkwardly when he didn't continue.

Revan blinked. "What? Oh, I'm not a Padawan and if I were I still wouldn't wear those stupid robes so back off."

"But…I thought…" the girl stammered.

"I don't care," Revan informed her before continuing on his journey.

He finally found Bastila in a room with two humans, one Twi'lek, and one member of a species he didn't recognize.

"Ah, it is good that you are here," the unidentified life form greeted him. "I am Master Vandar and these are Masters Dorak, Vrook, and Zhar." The identified Jedi Masters nodded their heads when Vander named them so Revan could tell who was who. "Bastila tells us you dreamt of Revan last night."

Revan shot her a puzzled look. "Why were you in my room last night?"

Bastila flushed. "I was not in your room last night!"

"Then how did you know I dreamt about Revan?" Revan asked reasonably.

"She had the dream too and she sensed your presence using the Force as you apparently have a Force Bond with her and thus you're clearly Force Sensitive," Vrook explained with a long-suffering sigh as if Revan should have been able to piece this together on his own.

"Why do I have a Force Bond with Bastila?" Revan demanded. "Does this mean we can read each others thoughts? Because if she's been reading any of mine about her, she'd probably kick my ass."

Bastila glared at him.

Dorak coughed. "Near-death situations usually bring on Force Bonds but they are such tricky things…it might have just formed due to your proximity or your strength in the Force. Or maybe you two have a shared destiny…"

"As you are clearly skilled in the Force, Master Zhar will be teaching you to be a Jedi," Vander announced.

Zhar nodded. "Normally it takes years and years of mental discipline and hard work and if you're too old – which would be at, say, eight or nine – then you're a lost cause and if you want any training you must join the Sith. You have six weeks."

"That's not to say that if you're nine so we can't train you and you grow up and learn the ways of the Sith but feel very badly about what you did then you can't become a Jedi that way," Dorak added.

"…You people are insane, you realize that, right?" Revan asked. "And this six-week fast-track program sounds like it would be a lot of effort on my part. And you can't just want to train me out of the goodness of your hearts; you're fighting a war here. Maybe I don't want to get involved."

Then Vrook said the magic words. "Let me handle this. Force knows I've had enough practice over the years…You get to make your own lightsaber. As these are very special circumstances, you'll even get to make it double-bladed."

Revan's eyes lit up. "It's a deal."

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	8. Delegating Redemption

Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Six weeks later, Revan was quite thoroughly sick of being surrounded by so many Jedi. They all seemed to act like he was one bribe of an awesome droid away from joining the Sith and several of the older ones actually started praying when he walked past. Most people would be suspicious – and truthfully Revan was a bit – but he didn't have the desire to get more involved with the ways of the Jedi than he could help.

Fortunately, he was almost past this.

"You have done well, apprentice," Zhar said warmly. "Better than many even after years of study. You-" he stopped. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Are you even talking to me?" Revan returned.

"Yes, I am," Zhar confirmed. "One would think you could have worked that out as we are the only two in this room."

"I was kind of wondering about that, but you addressed some person named 'Apprentice' and my name is 'Revan'," Revan countered.

"Well you are an apprentice but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you're no more amenable to the idea of being addressed as one than you were bef-" Zhar broke off, coughing. "I mean, very well, Revan. I was trying to avoid calling you that to stop upsetting some of the others, but I suppose that's just delaying the inevitable. Once you finish your training we can't just call you 'Padawan' forever…can we?"

"No," Revan said firmly. "You can't."

"Now that that's settled, let's start with something that's very important to our Order. Learn the Jedi Code and recite it to me," Zhar instructed.

Instead of leaving like Zhar had expected, Revan just sighed. "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force."

Zhar started. "I…see that someone has already taken the time to teach you our Code. That's very good, as long as you live by these principles you can weather any storm."

Revan blinked. "Actually, now that I think about it it is a bit strange that I knew that, isn't it? I mean, no one's taught it to me since I've been here and I don't think I would have willingly spent enough time around a Jedi to have picked it up prior to Taris…"

"I'm sure you picked it up somewhere," Zhar said quickly. "Your next step is building your own lightsaber. Go speak with Master Dorak about the matter before returning here."

Revan nodded and turned to go. He knew where he'd find Master Dorak. He and the other members of the Council – save Zhar when he was training him – were always in the exact same spot. So was Bastila, for that matter. Didn't the Dantooine Jedi Council and the Republic's Only Hope have anything better to do with their time then just standing about in the same room accomplishing nothing? Evidently not.

Revan cloaked his presence – if only because everyone always freaked out when they could no longer sense him or he appeared someplace without them noticing – and walked towards the Council Chamber. As he neared the entrance, he was surprised to hear voices coming from inside. It would seem that the Council did do something, after all, even if it was just talking. Naturally this development was well worth halting his epic quest of finally crafting a lightsaber of his own to listen in on.

"-would be a lot easier if he'd stop hitting on me and had some sort of motivation to do anything," Bastila was saying.

"He wouldn't be Revan if he did," Vrook pointed out.

"What of his companions?" Vandar asked. "I understand that they are still here?"

"They are," Bastila confirmed. "Carth contacted the Republic and they told him to stay with me if I needed him, the Mandalorian thinks Revan is indolent but a kindred spirit, and the other two don't have anywhere else to go."

"Will this be a problem?" Dorak spoke up.

"I don't think so," Bastila replied. "The T3 unit has to stay or Revan won't help us no matter how urgent it is or what else we say. He's rather…attached."

"Revan, obsessed with a droid. Never seen that before," Vrook said dryly.

"The Wookie Zaalbar swore a life debt to him, and from what I understand that means he won't be leaving anytime soon and the Twi'lek Mission has no intention of leaving Zaalbar. Canderous could pose a problem but his skills in battle could be prove useful and I do not think he'd leave willingly," Bastila continued.

"What about the Republic pilot, Carth?" Vandar inquired.

"In addition to the fact that he is an amazing pilot and someone has to fly the ship, he really needs to stay with Revan. I've never seen anyone so effective at convincing him to do things since Ma-" Bastila cut herself off when Revan's curiosity was actually piqued and she felt it through their bond. "Revan."

"Is now a bad time?" Revan asked innocently.

"How long were you standing there?" Vrook demanded, ignoring the question.

"Because I really don't want to interrupt," Revan continued, also feeling no need to address the question.

"What do you need, Revan?" Vandar asked warmly.

"Master Zhar suggested that I speak to Master Dorak before I construct my lightsaber," Revan replied.

The three Masters exchanged looks of surprise.

"You know the Code already?" Dorak asked, intrigued. "Did Bastila teach it to you? You were supposed to come to us in case you had questions, but I suppose she could answer any you had."

Revan shook his head. "No, it's the strangest thing. I already knew it."

"So you needed to talk about your lightsaber?" Dorak asked loudly. "Come over here, then."

Revan walked over to Dorak. "I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to ask you about so I'm really hoping that you have some idea because let me tell you, that is a very inconvenient walk back to Master Zhar."

"I do indeed know what Master Zhar sent you here to do. You need a crystal to power your lightsaber and we use three different crystals. Depending on if you aim to be a Consular, Sentinel, or Guardian you will have a green, yellow, or blue crystal," Dorak explained.

"What's the difference?" Revan wondered.

"A Consular puts studying the Force before combat, a Guardian puts Combat above studying the Force, and a Sentinel seeks to balance the two," Dorak explained.

Revan made a face. "I'd rather not have to limit myself but…_yellow_? Really?"

"I need to ask you a set of questions to help me determine which class best suits you," Dorak continued. "If there was an Sith attack on a Jedi enclave you were at, what would you do?"

"Probably leave," Revan answered. "That sounds like it would be a regular nightmare to deal with. Of course, if any Sith tried to stop me I'd kill them – Jedi duty, after all – but after that I'd go find a Cantina or something and wait to see what happened."

"I see," Dorak didn't look pleased. "And if you came upon a locked door?"

"Can you be more specific?" Revan requested.

Dorak blinked. "You want me to be more specific? There's a door in front of you and it is locked. How much more specific can you get?"

"Well, there's all sorts of factors at work here. Do I need to get into this room? Do I simply want to go in? Do I have anyone with me who can get it open while I just stand there, probably complaining? If you're not going to specify, though, then I'd probably just leave. It's probably not all that important anyway," Revan announced.

"What would you do if an opponent surrendered to you?" Dorak asked, still not looking happy.

Revan shrugged. "Without knowing more, I'd have to say…let them leave. That sounds easier."

"Based on your answers I would say that you best fit the category of…well, frankly you wouldn't normally be Jedi material – or Sith material for that matter – given your extreme apathy but you're far more powerful than someone as lazy as you has a right to be so just pick a class," Dorak ordered.

"I don't really want to limit myself," Revan repeated. "Even saying that I want to be a Sentinel is limiting if you really think about it because then you have an obligation to improve both combat and Force training in equal measures."

"Well, you have to pick something," Dorak insisted. "You do need a lightsaber crystal, after all."

Revan stared at him. "**That's** what this was all about? Choosing a lightsaber crystal? I already have one, see?" With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a violet crystal.

"Where did you get that?" Dorak demanded.

"I found it in some cave not far from here," Revan replied. "You honestly didn't know it existed? You people don't get out much, do you?"

"We had heard rumors of a cave that held lightsaber crystals," Dorak admitted. "But it had, until now, been unsubstantiated. The question is how you happened to get your hands on it. You weren't supposed to leave the enclave, remember?"

"Really?" Revan looked surprised. "Must have missed that. Then again, it wouldn't have stopped me even had I known."

"Just…take that crystal back to Master Zhar," Dorak said, sounding tired.

"Will do," Revan said cheerfully before making his way back to his temporary teacher. "Okay, I have it."

"Let's see that…" Zhar said, peering at it. "Revan, that's violet. Violet is a Sith color."

"I thought red was a Sith color," Revan said, sounding confused.

"It still is," Zhar assured him. "But Revan popularized the use of violet crystals among them."

"I don't care," Revan said stubbornly. "So this Revan character had great taste in lightsabers. Hardly my problem and Master Dorak wouldn't give me another crystal."

Zhar frowned. "He won't? Then how are we to know if you are a Consular, Guardian, or Sentinel?"

Revan opened his mouth to respond.

"On second thought, I probably do not wish to know," Zhar decided. "Now follow me and I'll take you to the workbench where you can get started."

- -

"So…is it any good?" Revan asked, a bit nervously. The double-bladed lightsaber he had constructed had taken him far less time to build then he'd expected, even considering the minor adjustments he'd made and the extra crystals from the cave that he'd added. He was actually rather proud of it, but then he was hardly an expert on lightsabers and Zhar had been staring at his first try for over twenty minutes.

Zhar pulled himself out of his stupor. "Is this any good? This is…without a doubt, this is the finest lightsaber I have ever had the privilege of seeing."

Revan smiled. "Really? Wow. And to think I got it on my first try…I must be some kind of prodigy or something, huh?"

"Or something," Zhar agreed quietly.

Revan narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"

"Now it's time to get some first-hand experience," Zhar told him. "There are a lot of Kath hounds in the area. Why don't you kill some of them?"

"Does this mean I'm allowed to leave the enclave?" Revan asked innocently.

Zhar smiled at him. "Yes, Revan. After six weeks of staying where we can keep an eye on you, you are finally allowed out of the enclave. Your final task is this: there is a disturbance in the grove a little ways away from here. You need to deal with this disturbance and then you will be ready to take the next step on your path to becoming a dedicated servant of the light."

"Oh, the excitement," Revan said monotonously.

- -

Twenty minutes later, Revan was wandering around merrily killing Kath hounds with Carth and Canderous. Mission and Zaalbar had nowhere to be found but Carth still didn't trust Revan to go anywhere unsupervised and Canderous just wanted to kill something.

They soon came across a man standing by a speeder who was cornered by a Mandalorian and two Duros.

"This is terrible!" Carth exclaimed. "We have to help this poor man."

"Do we?" Canderous asked rhetorically. "Do we really?"

"I'm with Canderous on this one," Revan said. "Big surprise, I know."

"Please don't kill me!" the man begged. "Take my wife and children instead!"

"And…now so am I," Carth remarked. "Wow, some people are scum."

The Mandalorian seemed to agree as he took out his blaster and shot the man. "Hm…wife and children, huh? Now there's an idea."

"Um, boss?" One of the Duros spoke up. "We just killed him. How are we supposed to be able to find his wife and children."

"Perhaps he has some identification on him," the Mandalorian suggested.

"Or we could always just find a woman and children and pretend that they're his family," the other Duros offered.

"More pitiful farmers? Maybe they have identification," the Mandalorian said gleefully.

"What's this?" Canderous hissed. "A Mandalorian praying on the weak and terrorizing a farming community? I knew things were hard after the war, but this is NOT befitting a warrior. You two take care of those Duros, I'm going to rip his head off…"

Carth shot at one of the Duros but Revan killed not only his but Carth's as well due to Revan's competent aiming. Carth looked over at Canderous to see him pulling the head from the body of the Mandalorian.

"Lovely," he said dryly.

"Thanks," Canderous replied. "It takes a certain amount of talent to be able to separate the head from the body so easily when you're unarmed."

"…Let's just get going, shall we?" Carth suggested.

"As soon as I'm done looting," Revan called, searching the corpses for anything even remotely valuable.

After Revan was done they made their way through a few more Kath hounds to a bridge where a Twi'lek was standing.

"Ah, hello there young Revan," the Twi'lek greeted. "I am Bolook, a fellow Jedi Knight. Would you care to help me solve a murder?"

"Isn't there any local law enforcement?" Carth demanded.

Bolook eyed him strangely. "Why do you think they called me in?"

"Well, I suppose at least there's a reason I'm going to be expected to do everything," Revan sighed. "No, I don't really care to help."

"If you don't I'm going to tattle on you to the Council," Bolook threatened.

Revan sighed. "Fine. Tell me what happened."

"Rickard Lustoff and Handon Guld were both standing over a dead body when I arrive and they both blame the other for the crime," Bolook explained. "If you need any more information, ask the droid. Otherwise, have fun."

Revan closed his eyes and groaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"This had better not take too long," Canderous warned. "I was really on a roll."

"Hey, Handon. Come stand over here by Rickard, will you?" Revan entreated.

Reluctantly, Handon did as was requested, glaring at Rickard the entire time.

"Now, I'm only going to ask this once so look into my eyes and don't blink," Revan instructed. "Handon, tell me what happened. Rickhard, when he's done you tell me what happened."

"That bastard was having an affair with my wife. I caught them in our bed one time but when I confronted him about it he just laughed! I lured him out here and killed him!" Handon declared.

"That bastard was cheating me in business and so when I heard he was coming out here I decided to shoot him but I was too far away to see who it was and I shot Handon instead," Rickard added.

Revan looked to Bolook. "Is that good enough? They both confessed."

Bolook looked stunned. "Yes…very well done, Revan. I think I'm beginning to understand why so many followed you…"

"Right, well if you'll excuse me I have a taint to go cleanse," Revan said, waving goodbye and continuing along his way.

"I really wished they'd phrased that differently," Bolook murmured, looking stricken.

Eventually, Revan, Canderous, and Carth stumbled upon a Cathar meditating in a grove.

"Excuse me," Revan began politely. "Do you happen to know where I might find a taint that needs cleansing somewhere around here? The Jedi weren't infuriatingly vague."

"You'll never take me alive!" the Cathar hissed, pulling out a lightsaber and charging at Revan.

"I suppose that would be you, then," Revan noted as he fended off her attack. "Way to help me out here, guys."

"This is your coming-of-age task," Canderous pointed out. "I can't interfere; it would shame us both."

"I'm already OF age," Revan pointed out. "Although I do see your point."

"It's not very nice when someone refuses to help out for no apparent reason, now is it?" Carth asked smugly.

"…I just said that," Revan reminded him. "Are you going senile or something?"

"I believe he was trying to prove a point," Canderous explained.

"Really?" Revan was surprised. "And what might that be?"

Carth slapped his forehead. "You know what, never mind."

"I yield!" the Cathar said, deactivating her weapon. "You may kill me now."

Revan looked taken aback at this, although whether that was because he hadn't expected her to surrender or because he'd forgotten he was fighting her was up for debate.

Revan shrugged. "Normally I don't kill people who surrender, but you did ask me to and I do have a grove to cleanse, so…"

The Cathar closed her eyes.

"Wait!" Carth burst out. "Come on, Revan, you're not stupid."

"Thanks," Revan replied. "I think."

"Obviously 'cleanse the taint' means 'redeem the Jedi'," Carth deduced.

"Are you sure?" Revan asked skeptically. "Because it sounded kind of ominous the way they put it and if they wanted me to redeem her, surely they would have just told me. Especially considering that that sounds like it might take some serious effort on my part."

"I am NOT going to just sit back and let you kill this woman because you can't be bothered to save her," Carth said firmly. "Let me handle this." He turned to the Cathar. "What's your name?"

"I am Juhani," Juhani informed him. "This is my grove."

"Why did you attack us?" Carth asked her. "You said you were afraid we'd take you back to the Jedi?"

Juhani nodded. "Yes. You see…I have fallen."

"Surely it can't be that bad," Carth told her soothingly. "I mean, they just trained _Revan_ after all and he was willing to kill you just because he thought it sounded easier."

"He should kill me," Juhani said sounding miserable. "I killed my mentor, you see. I struck her down in anger and now I am doomed to the dark side forever."

"You just made a mistake," Carth assured her. "We all make mistakes."

"This is a pretty serious mistake," Juhani insisted. "My mentor is dead."

"I've made my share of pretty serious mistakes," Carth said wryly. "And I only wish my mentor was dead. But he's not; he's Malak's Admiral. He came to me, you know, and told me that the Republic was a lost cause and that Revan and Malak were planning on conquering the galaxy so if I didn't join up and relocate my family, they'd die when he bombed the hell out of it in about a month when he joined the Sith. Sometimes, I still wonder if I could have stopped him."

"It's not your fault, Carth," Juhani comforted him. "There was no way you should have known."

Carth sighed. "I know," he said heavily. "But I still should have. I mean, he was my mentor."

"Even if I did want to go back," Juhani said hesitantly. "Surely they would not accept me. Not after what I did."

Carth smiled encouragingly at her. "The Jedi are a pretty forgiving group of people. I'm sure they'd be happy to take you back. And if not, if they do want nothing more to do with you then at least you came back and accepted responsibility for your actions."

Juhani nodded. "You're right. I will go back."

"Are you two done then?" Revan asked. "Good. Lunch started fifteen minutes ago and if Mission and Zaalbar took all the good desert again then I **swear** to the Force I will make you both suffer before I kill you."

Juhani stared at him. "I think you're right after all. The Jedi should have no problem accepting me back all things considered…"

Review Please!


	9. Enchantment! Wait, Wrong Sandal

Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: About Revan forgetting he was fighting Juhani and still beating her…yes, he really is just that good. Pretty fortunate, too, as otherwise there's no way he'd end up getting anything done. And for those who thought Revan should have just killed Juhani do remember that he was going to but standing back and watching Carth redeem her was less work on his part then shooting or stabbing her.

I should probably also mention that I know the name is supposed to be Sandral. I like Sandal better.

"I see that you have managed to redeem Juhani," Vandar said by way of greeting when Revan had finished his lunch – T3 had saved him a dessert or else things would not have ended well – and reported to the Council chambers to find out if him being an official Jedi meant that he'd have to actually do something now. "We were surprised but not ungrateful."

"Surprised?" Revan feigned ignorance. "Why wouldn't I do my utmost to redeem my fellow Jedi Knight?"

"Perhaps because it's easier to end a life then to change it," Vrook said bluntly. "And Juhani was so vague about what happened that I don't know what to think."

"Saving her was clearly the will of the Force," Revan said piously. The four Council members and Bastila all stared at him. "What? That's your explanation for everything and now that I'm a Jedi I can use it, too."

"You must only use that explanation when something is truly the will of the Force," Zhar cautioned. "Otherwise people will start to believe that that we are just avoiding the question when we say that."

"Start?" Revan muttered.

"Now that you are officially a Jedi it's time that we are honest with you," Vander declared. He blinked. "Well, honest about this, at least. You are still very new to our Order and have much to learn. We have investigated the ruins from your dream-"

"Wait, dream?" Revan interrupted, ignoring Bastila's death-glare for daring to interrupt the Council. "What dream?"

"What dream?" Bastila repeated, sounding incredulous. "The dream we had about Revan and Malak in those mysterious ruins when we first got here, remember?"

Revan dutifully thought back before shaking his head in defeat. "No, I still don't know what you're talking about _but_ for the sake of speeding things along let's pretend that I do and you can tell me what you learned from investigating the ruins."

"We had never heard of such a place," Dorak spoke up. "But after Bastila described it to us in extensive detail we checked the archives and found that there does exist a ruin matching that very description a mile and a half away from this very enclave."

Revan stared at him. "A mile and a half? And you'd **never** heard of it? You know, between this and the caves I'm starting to think you people just never leave the enclave unless you're leaving the planet."

"Be that as it may," Vandar said a little awkwardly. "We need you and Bastila to go investigate it."

"We would do it ourselves," Vrook explained. "Except that your dream means it's clearly the will of the Force that you do it. Besides, we can't very well go ruining our reputation for never stepping foot outside of our Enclave, can we?"

Revan knew he'd regret not keeping his mouth shut.

"We did send out another Knight to look into the ruins some time yesterday," Zhar informed them. "Alas, he hasn't returned and we're beginning to fear the worst. I understand that the ruins are your first priority but if you have time could you put some thought into finding Nemo?"

Revan coughed. "Certainly. If we happen to stumble across your missing Knight, alive or dead, we'll be sure to let you know and by 'we' I mean 'Bastila.'"

"Well isn't that a surprise?" Bastila sighed. "Let's go, I suppose."

As they turned to leave a man stormed through the door and shouted, "I AM THROUGH WAITING! IF THE JEDI DO NOT TAKE IT UPON THEMSELVES TO FIND MY SON THEN I _WILL_ BE TAKING MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS!" Then, without so much as waiting for a response, he promptly turned and left again.

"Does anyone want to explain that?" Revan asked a little uncertainly. Why did no one else appear even the slightest bit unnerved.

"That's Mr. Matale," Bastila explained. "His son went missing last week and he's been storming in here to threaten to actually do something about it twice a day now since then. We don't think he actually will, but if we have time we might want to check it out."

"I assure you, 'we' most certainly do not," Revan disagreed.

"Well, we'll just have to see now won't we?" Bastila asked rhetorically, ending the discussion.

Revan and Bastila made their way towards the Enclave's exit when they ran across Juhani and that annoying girl who had yelled at him for not wearing Padawan robes when they'd first met (and as it happened he still refused to wear them on the grounds that they made him look stupid). If the regular robes were bad the bright orange monstrosity Juhani was wearing made Revan start to wish he'd joined up with the Sith after all. If the uniforms on Taris were any indication, they had great taste.

"Thank you for saving Juhani, Revan. She is…very special to me," the girl said, blushing a little. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Even if you still refuse to respect our Order now that you're a part of it-"

"Yeah, I still don't care," Revan cut her off. "And if I somehow gave you the impression that I did care well then I apologize because that was wrong of me in addition to just plain being wrong."

Juhani frowned at him. "That is most rude, Revan, but all things considering how I was redeemed, I suppose I should not be too surprised. Do you remember, by any chance, when I told you that I had killed my Master?"

Revan shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Well, it turned out that I had merely injured her. I was foolish for thinking my meager efforts would be enough to kill one such as her," Juhani said sheepishly. "If you would be so kind as to let Carth know?"

"I'll do it, Juhani," Bastila volunteered, well aware that Revan would probably not bother if he even remembered at all.

"That is probably for the best," Juhani agreed.

- -

"Hey look, a corpse!" Revan exclaimed, pointing to a body a few feet away.

"That would excite you, wouldn't it?" Carth sighed. He had run into Bastila and Revan on their way out and, after hearing Juhani's news about her Master, had decided to accompany them.

"What?" Revan asked defensively. "Someone's got to keep our finances up and you keep trying to give money away and refuse rewards."

"I know, but don't you have a moral problem with stealing from the de-" Carth started to say before he remembered who he was talking to. "Never mind then."

"Hey, look, this datapad contains his diary," Revan told them.

"Now you're reading his diary?" Carth grumbled. "Is nothing sacred?"

"Perhaps the diary will help us identify this poor man so we can inform his relatives what became of him and then can have a proper burial," Bastila suggested, trying to be positive.

"Wow, this Casus Sandal is all kinds of awesome," Revan announced. "Apparently he was managing to date five girls at the same time."

"That sounds despicable," Bastila sniffed.

"Well, yeah, if he were cheating," Revan conceded. "But that's just it: he wasn't. They all knew and he was apparently so awesome that they were cool with it…too bad these Kath hounds ate him. Force knows they were probably just jealous..."

Carth decided to forego his obligatory protest at Revan's depravity in favor a more relevant matter. "Sandal, Sandal…wasn't that who Matale was feuding with?"

Bastila slowly nodded. "So Matale's son is missing and now Sandal's son is dead. This is beginning to sound ominous."

"This is beginning to bore me," Revan announced. "And as I'm done anyway let's keep going."

"Alright," Bastila agreed. "But we're going to stop by the Sandal estate to inform them about what happened to Casus."

"But-" Revan started to protest.

"Seconded," Carth interrupted. "And that means you're outnumbered. Not very nice being on the other side, is it?"

Revan groaned, remembering how he and Canderous had ganged up on Carth regarding moral issues earlier. "I knew I should have spent the extra time looking for him."

"Wouldn't that still be two against two?" Carth asked.

"It would," Revan allowed. "But you see, if I had taken the time to bring Canderous then my beloved T3 would have come as well and of course he'd side with me. Droids all love me, you know."

"Well of course _they_ would," Bastila said. "You've always been their biggest supporter."

Carth glanced over at her. "Wait, did you just say 'always'? I thought you met Revan a few weeks ago like I did."

Bastila shot a panicked look at Revan but he was, predictably, too busy waxing poetic about T3 to have noticed.

- -

"So my droid said you had news of my son?" Sandal asked once they were lead into his main foyer.

"We do," Bastila nodded. "I'm sorry to inform you that your son is dead."

"That bastard!" Sandal growled, his eyes flashing.

"What bastard?" Carth asked, confused. "You mean your son? I hardly think he went off and got himself killed on purpose."

Sandal shook his head impatiently. "Not him, I meant Matale."

"Look, I get that you're apparently consumed by hatred and obsessed with vengeance or whatever but don't you think you might want to put that off until _after_ you show some token grief for your son?" Revan demanded. "I mean, chances are **I'd** have made more of an effort even if I couldn't stand the guy. Have you no respect for the dead, sir?"

Carth started choking at Revan's blatant hypocrisy. Where was that supposed respect for the dead when he was looting Casus' pockets and reading his diary?

"Don't you dare accuse me of not mourning my child," Sandal shot back. "In fact, I'm going to make sure Matale knows exactly how it feels to lose a son when I brutally murder his!"

"See, you might say that you're upset about your son but you're still talking about your archrival," Revan pointed out.

"Well of course I am!" Sandal burst out. "How can I possible mourn my son in peace if his killer is still out there?"

"Mr. Sandal, Mr. Matale was not the one who killed your son," Bastila corrected him.

Sandal blinked. "He wasn't? But I was so certain…how do you know?"

"His body was ripped apart by Kath hounds," Revan replied cheerfully. "It was pretty unrecognizable but fortunately his data pad diary was still in one piece so we could identify him for you."

"That fiend!" Sandal cried out.

"Are you still fixated on Matale?" Carth inquired.

"Who else could have pulled off such an elaborate and sinister cover-up job?" Sandal asked reasonably. Or what he thought of as reasonably.

"Did it ever occur to you that he might have been actually killed by Kath Hounds without any involvement from Mr. Matale?" Bastila asked.

"No, it did not," Sandal answered honestly. "But even if that's the case, it won't matter. I'll kill his son anyway."

"That's really not the course of action I'd recommend-" Bastila started to say.

"Hey, is that Casus' datapad?" Sandal cut her off.

Revan, who had been perusing the dead boy's diary, looked surprised. "Why, yes it is in fact. May I mention that it's a little creepy that you recognized it?"

"Feel free," Sandal said graciously.

"It's a little creepy that you recognized it," Revan said frankly now that he had permission to do so. "There's nothing really important on here, jus his diary."

"And you're reading it?" Sandal demanded. "Isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"Privacy?" Revan scoffed. "Please. Since when has that ever stopped me?"

"I don't know," Sandal replied. "Seeing as how I've just met you. But tell you what: I'll give you one hundred credits for that datapad."

Revan hesitated to the great shock of both of his companions who had assumed he'd jump at the chance to make some more money. "I don't know…" he said carefully. "This diary…he put a lot in here. Probably more than you'd really want to know."

"I don't care," Sandal insisted stubbornly. "I want all that's left of my son. Will two hundred credits change your mind?"

"That it will," Revan said, immediately handing over the datapad. "A pleasure doing business with you."

"Thank you for your kindness, brave Jedi Knights," Sandal bowed to them. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be alone with my grief. I trust you can see yourself out? Enchantment!"

"Enchantment?" Carth repeated, sounding confused.

"Ignore him," Bastila advised. "He didn't seem all there to begin with and now he's grief-stricken. Revan, why in the name of the Force would you make that poor possibly unbalanced man give you two hundred credits for his son's datapad?"

"Hey," Revan objected, holding up his hands defensively. "I was going to hand it over for just one hundred but, well, he offered."

"But it is not the Jedi way," Bastila insisted.

Revan snorted. "You say that like that's supposed to mean something to me."

"Excuse me," a young black girl approached them, looking nervous. "My name is Rahasia Sandal. Did I hear you correctly when you said that my brother is dead and the Matales were not involved?"

"I'm sorry," Carth told her. "But it's true."

"Oh, thank the Force," Rahasia sighed in relief.

Revan shot her a strange look. "Thank the Force? Did you really hate your brother or something? Either way, the dead get no respect these days…"

"Oh, that wasn't what I meant at all!" Rahasia looked stricken. "I just meant that I'm glad that the Matales weren't involved although, of course, father thinks they were."

"No kidding?" Carth muttered.

"In fact, he kidnapped Shen Matale and is planning to kill him," Rahasia told them. "You have to help me get him out of here."

"What's your angle?" Bastila asked her. "Do you share your father's distaste for the Matales?"

"What? No, not at all. Shen and Casus were close friends and Shen and I…" Rahasia blushed. "We're in love."

"So you'll show us where this Shen is being kept?" Revan asked, sounding resigned. "I don't suppose Carth or Bastila will just let me leave when you asked for our help-"

"We won't," Bastila confirmed.

"So we'll come with you," Revan concluded.

Rahasia looked awkward. "Well, that's the thing. I won't be coming."

"We are not going down to rescue your boyfriend from your father without you," Revan said flatly.

"But…but what if I'm caught? My father will never understand," Rahasia said desolately.

"Look, if you're going to be in a relationship with this boy then sooner or later your father is going to have to find out if only because you elope," Carth said sensibly.

"I…I can't," Rahasia said. "I know I should but I just can't risk it. My father might get so angry that I wouldn't be safe here. It's best if he never finds out that I'm involved."

Bastila frowned. She really hated to do this but… "Revan?"

"Right," Revan nodded. He made eye contact with the Sandal heiress. "Come with us to rescue Shen. We'll never succeed without you."

"Alright," Rahasia agreed.

And that was that.

- -

It hadn't taken much to convince Shen to leave with them. He didn't want to leave Rahasia behind to suffer her father's wrath – seriously, what kind of monster did these kids think that man was? – and Rahasia was a bit hesitant in leaving, it was true, but Revan quickly persuaded them otherwise.

"I can't believe I'm finally free!" Shen laughed as he took Rahasia's hand in his. "I'm not sure how I'll explain it so that I don't have to mention your father held me hostage but-"

"Don't bother," a vaguely voice cut him off. They looked up to see Matale and three battle droids standing across from Sandal and three more battle droids a little ways away. "I've heard enough."

"You have no right to be here, Matale," Sandal snarled.

"You kidnapped my son!" Matale shot back. "I have _every_ right to aid in his recovery."

"How did he even know what happened?" Revan wondered.

"Well, you killed my son first so fair's fair," Sandal snapped.

Bastila sighed. "We talked about this, remember Mr. Sandal? About how Mr. Matale was not, in fact, guilty of your son's death and the Kath hounds were the true guilty party?"

"Well, yes, but…that's not the point!" Sandal insisted.

"Isn't it?" Carth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Shen, you're coming home with me right now and won't be having anything to do with that Sandal harlot in the future," Matale commanded.

"I'm not coming with you, father," Shen said bravely, tightening his hold on Rahasia's hand. "I love Rahasia and you're just going to have to deal with that."

"Shen…" Rahasia said softly, her eyes shining.

"Don't call me daughter a harlot, you bastard!" Sandal cried out.

Carth and Bastila both turned simultaneously to look pointedly at Revan, who rolled his eyes.

"Hey everybody – and especially the two morons with the battle droids – look at me!" Revan instructed. When Sandal and Matale turned to glare at him, he said very clearly, "Stop fighting and be happy for your children."

"You know, maybe I was a little harsh on your daughter," Matale said immediately. "It's clear that she risked a lot to save my son."

"And I'm sorry, too," Sandal added. "I thought you were behind my son's disappearance but when I was proven wrong I should have released him. I'll make sure to treat him better when the children come to live with me."

"What?" Matale sputtered. "Don't be ridiculous! They'll be living with me."

"Maybe you could build us our own home?" Rahasia suggested hopefully.

Matale and Sandal looked at each other and shrugged.

"Why not?" Matale agreed.

"It'll be closer to my land," Sandal declared.

"What? Not on your life!" Matale countered.

"Let's just leave," Revan proposed.

"Agreed," Carth echoed.

"Now that that's settled, we can finally move on to attempting to save the galaxy," Bastila declared.

Revan groaned. "You know, if we stopped wasting half our time solving other people's problems for them we'd have this whole Malak mess sorted out in three months, tops…"

"It's not the Jedi way," Bastila replied simply.

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	10. In Which Revan Actually Does Something

Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"You know, this place looks vaguely familiar," Revan remarked once they had finally reached the ruins the Jedi had barely heard of despite being only a mile and a half away from their enclave. "I think maybe I've been here before…"

"Don't be absurd," Bastila said quickly. "If you had been here before then you would have had to have come to the Enclave before as it's the only place to land a ship on the planet and you seem quite certain you've never spent much time around Jedi before now."

"True," Carth agreed. "But that doesn't explain why he seems to know so much about them…"

"It's probably the Force bond," Bastila lied. "And this place likely looks familiar just because you saw it in your dream."

Revan crinkled his forehead. "Why would I dream about ancient buildings? That's…really, really boring. It's bad enough that I have to be here now. Why would I spend my sleeping moment thinking about that when I _could_ be dreaming about…" he cut himself off unexpectedly and coughed awkwardly. "Well, this isn't exactly the top of my list."

"You can't choose what you dream about, Revan," Carth pointed out.

Revan looked surprised. "You can't? Strange, I always do."

"That's probably your affinity for the Force showing itself again," Bastila theorized. "And we talked about the dream, remember? We shared the dream of Revan and Malak coming out here and that's why the Council asked us to investigate."

"I know **that**," Revan said crossly. "I'm not stupid, you know. I just also happen to remember saying even then that I had no idea what you were talking about as far as this 'shared dream' went."

"I'm fine with you not remembering the dream that I know I felt your presence in," Bastila said calmly. "As long as you don't go looking for alternative ways you could have been here."

"That sounds equally dull," Revan yawned.

"Alternative ways?" Carth asked, uncertain as to whether he really wanted to know.

Bastila shrugged. "You know, like deciding that he's secretly a Sith Lord by the same name whose footsteps we are retracing even now."

Carth frowned. "That sounds rather unlikely. Why would he think that?"

"Because they have the same name and it's Revan," Bastila said flatly as if that was all the explanation she needed to give. Then again, given that it WAS Revan, maybe it was. Neither of her companions pressed for more information at any rate. "What I do wonder is why Malak was so frightened of the Jedi finding out that he was exploring the ruins. He and Revan made it sound like entering was crossing some sort of line but as no one seems to know anything about it, let alone what's inside, I can't see the consequences for entering would be too severe."

"Maybe he was just worried that entering the ruin would be too much on top of everything else," Carth suggested. "I mean, this did take place after the war, right? And from what I heard the Jedi weren't too happy about that."

Revan snorted. "_That's_ an understatement. I believe the Jedi Council quietly kicked them out of the Order but knew that since they weren't doing anything to aid in the defense of the Republic against the Mandalorians that publically disavowing the only Jedi who were would have lead to long-term public relations problems. And Malak was only waxing poetic about what a final step that was and that there was no turning back because he always had a flair for the dramatic and he was trying to get Revan more excited about it. Not that that worked, of course, but he never did stop trying…"

Carth turned around to stare at him. "Wait, what? How do you know all of that? That's hardly public knowledge and I know I haven't heard any of that-"

"It was in the dream," Bastila claimed. "Odd how Revan seems to know so much about it considering he insists he can't remember it."

"Alright," Carth said hesitantly. "But if I find out you two are lying to me then it's just going to give me more trust issues."

Bastila shuddered and hoped that he would understand the need for discretion (well, sort of discretion) if – when, really, as it was highly unlikely that Revan's secret identity as Revan could be kept secret after their first encounter with Malak – the truth eventually did come out. It was unlikely but she couldn't very well tell him now! He didn't understand how important this was to the war effort and how, for all that she was called the Republic's Only Hope, she really was sharing that burden with their resident former Sith Lord. "Understood."

Revan blinked innocently at him. "You have trust issues? And you never told me? Great, now **I'm** going to develop some…"

Carth sighed as he was once against confronted by proof that Revan cared very little about his life. "Let's…just go inside."

Once Revan, Bastila, and Carth passed through the ominous archway leading to the secret ominous ruins they encountered a secret ominous droid. It was a bit strange, though, in that the journey didn't feel nearly as life-changing as dream-Malak had made it sound. Then again, perhaps Revan was right and he really was just hamming it up.

"Do you feel that?" Bastila asked, shivering.

"Are you cold?" Carth asked politely.

Bastila shook her head. "No…well, a little actually, now that you mention it. That wasn't what I was referring to, though. This place…there is evil in it. I can feel it."

Carth looked skeptically at her. "Evil. Right."

"It's true!" Bastila insisted.

"Evil isn't a tangible force, Bastila," Carth lectured. "It is only an abstract concept found in the hearts of men that leads them to commit terrible acts."

"I hear you, Carth," Revan spoke up. "But you'll never convince the Jedi of that. Trust me, I've tried. I think. Or at least I feel that it's something important enough that I would have tried had I been given the opportunity. They claim the Force is making them do all sorts of terrible things which really seems like a cop-out to me. If I ever turn evil, I want it to be known that I wasn't tricked or coerced in the slightest but knew exactly what I was doing the entire time."

"That almost makes it worse…" Bastila murmured. "And the dark side of the Force really is a huge threat that Jedi have to struggle against every day of their lives and that's why emotional attachment is so dangerous. Just one slip-up and-"

"She means Jedi often get fed up by the archaic restrictions placed upon them and so leave the Order and occasionally decide to kill a bunch of people or declaring themselves a Sith Lord sounds like fun, leading to ever-increasing restrictions which cause more promising young Jedi to leave the fold in a never-ending cycle of death and redemption," Revan interrupted to translate for Carth. "And I suppose to be fair to them, they need SOME reason why so many of them turn evil at some point."

The ancient droid in the center of the room suddenly began speaking to them.

"I can't understand it," Carth announced. "But that's hardly surprising. What's it saying, Bastila?"

"I'm not certain," Bastila confessed. "I don't recognize the language. It sounds ancient, though."

"It says that I sound like Revan," Revan announced. "Which I suppose I do, being named Revan myself, but I don't know how this droid would have recognized my voice. And you think that if it did somehow it would have known what I looked like and commented on that as well. Unless it's a blind droid? If that's the case then I just feel very sorry for it."

The droid spoke again.

"Oh, it says it's not blind but the last time it heard my voice I was wearing some ridiculous hooded getup," Revan amended.

"That's strange," Carth frowned.

"It probably downloaded the knowledge from somewhere," Bastila dismissed. "Maybe Revan was on the holonet."

"Were you ever wearing a ridiculous hooded getup on the holonet?" Carth asked, curious despite himself.

"Of course not," Revan denied. "Well, except that once. No, better make that a few times. I had this girlfriend, you see, and she was into that kind of thing."

The droid made an impatient sound.

"Oh, it asks if we're here seeking the Star Map," Revan translated.

"Possible," Bastila said cautiously. "Is that what Revan and Malak were here for?"

The droid spoke again.

"It would appear that they were," Revan informed her. "Which it really feels that I should already know for some reason. The Star Map will lead to the Star Forge, which is apparently a very powerful factory that could conceivably be used to churn out a seemingly endless supply of ships, armor, and weapons. It also said that we would have to fight two droids each guarding a computer terminal in which we'd have to answer a question before the door to the chamber containing the Star Map will open up. It also wants to know if we have questions or if we're not as stupid as you two look."

"It did not say that!" Bastila exclaimed.

Revan shrugged. "Believe me or don't, that's your prerogative. Do try and remember which one of us can understand ancient Rakatan, though."

"Rakatan?" Carth repeated. "Is that the language? I've never heard of it."

"Well, the Rakatan have long since fell from prominence," Revan explained. "Long before the Republic was formed, they had an intergalactic empire and had conquered a good portion of the known universe as well as some parts of it we have not yet encountered."

"The droid told you all of that?" Bastila asked, surprised.

"Huh? Oh, no. I just really like history and languages," Revan explained.

"That's not consistent with any history I've heard and I don't even vaguely recognize that language," Bastila said doubtfully.

The droid made a few more noises.

"It says I was right about everything although it usually refers to the Rakatan as 'the builders', though now that it thinks about it I'm right as far as the name goes," Revan said smugly. "Now if that's all, we really should get a move-on. This place is kind of boring."

"And evil," Bastila added.

"Not to mention cold," Carth chimed in.

"Oh look, a dead body!" Revan exclaimed, making a beeline for the body in question.

"How did I know you'd be the one to find the dead body in this place?" Carth wondered aloud. "Seriously, your uncanny ability to locate those is kind of creepy."

"You're just jealous," Revan sniffed.

"J-jealous?" Carth sputtered. "Why would I-"

"Is that Nemo?" Bastila gasped, kneeling down to get a better look. "Oh, it is…poor Nemo…"

Revan started snickering. "So we found Nemo, huh?"

Bastila smacked Revan on the head. "That is hardly the proper respect for the dead you were complaining no one had an hour or so ago at the Sandal estate."

"Yeah but…Finding Nemo!" Revan protested.

"I don't get it," Carth said.

"Me either," Bastila concurred.

Revan sighed heavily. "Oh, never mind…"

With that, they stood and made their way to the door in front of them. They soon came to three more doors. The door directly in front of them seemed to be sealed and so presumably housed the Star Map. The doors on the right and the left could be opened, however.

"I vote that since Revan is the only decent fighter here he goes and faces one of the droids and Bastila and I face the other," Carth offered.

"Hey!" Bastila protested. "I am too a decent fighter!"

"Are you in Revan's league?" Carth asked simply.

Bastila frowned. "Well, no. That doesn't reflect poorly on my own abilities though because, honestly, REVAN."

"I'm not sure I like this plan," Revan complained. "Can't you guys do this? I've been carrying us this whole time."

"All you did was translate," Bastila pointed out.

"And if I hadn't we might have been stuck there for hours while it tried to find a language we understood. Or maybe, since it is REALLY ancient it never would have," Revan insisted.

"You know, you're right," Carth cried out.

"He is?" Bastila asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am?" Revan was equally surprised by the unexpected support.

"Of course he is," Carth nodded. "He saved a lot of time. You know what else would save time? If the three of us didn't kill one droid then have to move on to the other."

"But…I…" Revan trailed off, looking helpless. "Fine."

He stormed off in one direction and Bastila and Carth went the other. Shortly after Revan stepped inside the door, the blue shield of a droid powered up and the unit in question advanced menacingly on him.

Revan sighed. "I always hate having to kill a droid…still, you leave me no choice. Well, no choice that wouldn't take quite a bit of time and effort as I'm not familiar enough with your circuitry for an easy rewiring."

Revan dutifully ignited his double-bladed violet lightsaber (did he mention how badass that looked? No wonder the Sith started using it. Red lightsabers were just eyesores but at least they weren't as bad as orange) and stepped forward.

Roughly five minutes later, the droid was in pieces at his feet. "Well, that was easy enough," he declared. "Now, for the computer console."

He pressed a button and a series of non-Basic characters appeared on the screen. 'Choose three life giving environments: Desert, Grassland, Oceanic, Barren, Volcanic, and Aboric.'

"Wow, and they even give you options?" Revan mused as he typed out 'Grassland, Oceanic, and Aboric'. "This test is easy. I guess it really only is to weed out those that fail epically like Nemo apparently did. Honestly, how he managed to get himself killed even before getting to the room with the killer droids is beyond me…some people are just too pathetic to live, I guess. Although that doesn't explain how he got to be so old, though. The mind is the first thing to go, I guess? Or, to be more accurate, the badassery? Remind me never to get old…"

His task done, Revan strolled back the way he came. Bastila and Carth weren't waiting for him and he could hear the unmistakable sound of blaster fire coming from the room his companions had disappeared down.

"Typical," Revan muttered as he grudgingly set off after them. He found Carth crouching behind a pillar shooting erratically at the droid (and futilely as its shield was holding up) while Bastila at least was doing a little bit of damage as she hacked away at it with her lightsaber.

Soon after Revan joined the fray that droid, too, was vanquished and Bastila moved over to the console. "This doesn't make any sense," she noted. "I suppose this might be in the same language the droid was speaking out there? I see a slot, maybe I should put a datapad in there so it can hook up with the interface-"

"That sounds far too complicated," Revan cut her off. "Let me see… 'Choose three death giving environments: Desert, Grassland, Oceanic, Barren, Volcanic, and Aboric.'" He quickly typed in 'Desert, Barren, Volcanic. "You know, even if I only knew one set of answers it's really process of elimination…"

Bastila just shook her head in annoyance at how easy this was for Revan – and some slight trepidation as there must be some reason he knew this and if he remembered it probably wouldn't end well – and took off towards the Star Map, Carth and Revan following at her heels.

As they'd expected, the formerly sealed door was open and they boldly passed through it.

In the middle of the room was an ancient-looking three-pronged device. As the three stepped closer to investigate, it opened up to reveal…well, a star map, as the name had suggested.

"Manaan…Korriban…Kashyyyk…Tatooine," Bastila murmured after a few minutes of silent study.

"Telos…Nar Shaddaa… Onderon…Malachor…" Revan mimicked. When Bastila turned to glare at him, he smiled innocently back at her. "What? I thought we were just randomly listing planets?"

"That is _not_ what we're doing," Bastila snapped.

"Well, it might be what Revan was doing," Carth disagreed.

"Well, it wasn't what I was doing," Bastila insisted. "This map is incomplete although I recognize those four planets I named. I suspect that if we go to those four planets we'll find Star Maps there and then we can piece together the location of the Star Forge."

Revan and Carth exchanged looks, for once on exactly the same wavelength.

"No, just no," Carth said.

"I've got better things to do," Revan claimed.

"And I've really got to get back to the Republic," Carth added.

"And this is just making me reconsider my decision not to join the Sith," Revan remarked.

Bastila shivered at the last one. "Well it's too bad you feel that way," she said with a tight smile. "But ultimately it is up for the Council to decide."

Revan groaned. "What? But they've always hated me! This is so not fair…"

"What do you mean 'always'?" Carth demanded, his paranoia flaring up.

Bastila sighed heavily. "Let's…let's just go, shall we?"

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	11. Yeah, That's Not In The Code

Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"Why do I have to be here for this?" Revan was complaining as Bastila practically dragged him into the Council Chamber. Maybe 'practically' wasn't the right word. He certainly wasn't heading there voluntarily and there may have even been some Force involved.

"Because you're a Jedi the same as me," Bastila explained for the ninth time since they'd left the ancient ruins. She'd even stopped looking horrified as they'd said those words so clearly this experience was good for her. "As such, both of our presence is required at the debriefing."

"Carth was there, too," Revan pointed out. "Why can't he do it? He's always complaining nobody tells him anything, anyway."

Bastila actually stopped in her tracks, turning to him with shock clear on her face. "Are you…are you actually telling me that you've finally noticed that after weeks of being perfectly oblivious?"

Revan perked up at that. "You think I'm perfect?"

"No, I said 'perfectly oblivious', which made 'perfectly' a modifier," Bastila said flatly.

"Which means that you're describing me as perfect," Revan said triumphantly.

"-Ly oblivious," Bastila amended Revan's statement. "And can you just answer the question?"

"Certainly," Revan responded.

Bastila waited. "Well?" she finally prompted.

"Could…you maybe remind me what the question was?" he asked sheepishly.

Bastila sighed heavily. It was hard to tell if it was the brain damage or just the fact he was Revan, sometimes. Not to mention that half the time it seemed like he knew exactly who he was and the other half of the time it seemed like he had the memories but just hadn't connected the dots, probably due to outright laziness. She really pitied whoever got stuck going on this mad quest to find the Star Forge with him…which would tragically probably end up being her because their bond should let her sense if he was turning evil. Except, of course, that he'd pointed out – likely correctly – that he was more in danger of joining the Sith for inane reasons like them having a better fashion sense or because he'd decided that being a Sith would require him to do less than because he truly believed in their cause or had been consumed by darkness. Although 'consumed by apathy' would probably be a fair way of looking at the problem.

"Did you forget, too?" Revan asked hesitantly. "If you did, that's totally fine with me. We can just pretend that this never happened because honestly when two people completely forget what they were talking about it's kind of embarrassing."

"No, I remember," Bastila said, shaking her head. "I just…never mind. The question was did you actually finally notice after weeks of being completely oblivious?" She changed perfectly to completely the second time, of course, to avoid entering into a circular conversation about whether or not Revan was perfect (he wasn't, of course).

Revan rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, you know," he said indignantly.

"I never said you were stupid," Bastila clarified. "Just that you don't actually care enough to pay the slightest bit of attention to these things."

"Maybe I would if the other people who weren't you were more interesting," Revan sniffed. "Like Canderous, for instance. Did you know he's teaching me how to build a Basilisk?"

"That is a very scary thought," Bastila said, shuddering a little. "And are you saying you think I'm interesting?"

"Of course I do," Revan insisted, looking hurt that she'd thought otherwise. "Bastila, you are one of the most beautiful and fascinating women I have ever met."

Ah, joy. Now Revan was hitting on her again. Still, there was one thing that bothered her about his statement. "One of?" Honestly, who said things like that when attempting to flirt?

"Well, there was that one Jedi General during the Mandalorian War," Revan explained. "I forget her name…I think she was exiled or something. Seriously, though, she was just…wow. She was kind of naïve, though."

"I see," Bastila said shortly. She should probably move the conversation away from this as the Exile was yet one more person Revan wasn't supposed to remember as he couldn't have met in his new life as a…Oh, right, she should probably check up on that, shouldn't she? Especially due to all the slip-ups. It really wouldn't do to get careless and to have Revan run into Malak and reveal he'd known everything all along but couldn't be bothered to tell anyone. Since the only person they had who could match Malak's ability to make Revan do things was Carth and he was likely to feel too horribly betrayed to make that effort, it could potentially end very, very badly.

"Revan, do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions?" Bastila asked slowly.

"Don't worry, I'm clean," Revan assured her.

Bastila frowned. "You're clean? That's a rather odd thing to go announcing. Plus, I can tell by the lack of offensive odors."

Revan laughed. "No, not that kind of clean."

"Then what do you mean?" Bastila asked, a little annoyed at herself for not getting it and needing to ask.

"I mean that I don't have an STD," Revan explained. "And by 'STD', of course, I mean sexually transmitted disease. Basically, if we have sex then you won't get sick although unless you take further precaution you might get pregnant. I feel I should also mention that I am not married nor am I involved with anyone else at this time."

"Good to know," Bastila said dryly. "But that wasn't actually what I meant."

"You will keep that in mind, though, if you should decide that that _is_ what you meant?" Revan asked hopefully.

"Oh, why not?" Bastila asked rhetorically. "What I actually wanted to know is what planet you were from."

"Oh, that," Revan said, sounding disappointed. "I'm from Coruscant."

Bastila started. That wasn't right. "I thought you were from Deralia."

Revan shot her a strange look. "If you knew that then why did you ask?"

"I wanted to hear it from you," Bastila said a little lamely, hoping he wouldn't press her further. "So does this mean you are form Deralia after all?"

Revan laughed. "Me? From some little backwards Outer Rim farming community? As if. I mean, for one thing that sounds like a lot of work. And do you really think I'm motivated enough to make my way to the Republic proper? It's not exactly easy to secure passage off of those kinds of planets, you know."

"So you're from Coruscant, then?" Bastila asked. She hadn't been certain where Revan was actually from, only that the cover-story was that he was from Deralia.

Revan nodded. "Indeed. My parents ran the most popular diner on the planet but one day some people saw me levitating some dishes so they paid my parents to let me go to some Academy with them. Never let it be said that I had the most responsible parents. I think I was four or so…"

She really couldn't press for details without hitting a mental block or getting him to say something about the Jedi, could she?

"So why did you think I was from Deralia, anyway?" Revan asked curiously.

Bastila coughed. "I don't know. I could have sworn you mentioned it. Maybe I'm getting you confused with somebody else?"

Revan frowned deeply. "That's not good. I never want you to get me confused with any other men, Bastila."

Was he **still** on that? One would think his two-minute attention span would have made him move on for the moment. "So how old are you?"

Revan looked aghast. "PLEASE tell me you did not just ask me that."

Now Bastila was confused. "Why should I have asked that?"

"Because, Bastila," Revan lectured patiently. "There are some things you simply do not ask a person. Weight, age, and if they've ever been Bicurious are a few of those things."

"Wait, are you saying you've-" Bastila began.

"Didn't we just go over how you shouldn't ask anybody that?" Revan demanded. "Anyone such as, for instance, me?"

"My apologies, then," Bastila told him, figuring it was best to just move on. Age wasn't really all that important anyway as they would have had to have picked an age similar to Revan's real age so as to appear plausible. "What did you do before joining the Jedi?"

"I was a Republic soldier for all of about a week aboard the Endar Spire," Revan answered.

"I knew that!" Bastila snapped.

"Then why ask?" Revan looked puzzled.

"I meant, 'what did you do before then'?" Bastila rephrased the question, choosing to let Revan's probably deliberate misinterpretation go for the sake of moving this along.

"Oh, this and that," Revan said dismissively. "Some of it is embarrassing, most of it is illegal, and you'd be surprised how much of it is classified."

Well…that would probably be true for Revan but what did the Jedi reprogram him as? A smuggler? She supposed technically a lot of that could be true for Revan's faux-past as well.

"Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?" Revan asked brightly. "Any long, in-depth conversations you'd like to have while we stare dreamily at each other and totally end up ditching that Jedi meeting."

"We can't miss the meeting, Revan," Bastila said, shaking her head in exasperation.

"Why not?" Revan whined.

"Because it won't start until we show up," Bastila replied simply. "And seriously, you're wasting your time hitting on me."

"That's what you say now," Revan said confidently. "But soon enough-"

"Relationships – either with other Jedi or with a non-Jedi – are against the Jedi Code," Bastila informed him.

"…No they aren't," Revan disagreed.

Of all the arguments she'd been expecting, she wouldn't have even put a careless 'fine, whatever' past him, that wasn't it. "What do you mean 'no they aren't'?" Bastila cried.

"I mean, no relationships with your fellow Jedi or with other people are not against the Jedi Code," Revan clarified helpfully.

"I've been a Jedi a lot longer than you have," Bastila declared. It wasn't true, but they were all pretending that it was. "And so I think I'd know if relationships are allowed or not and for that matter they are not!"

"Hey, remember earlier today when I had to learn the Jedi Code in order to get to make a lightsaber in order to go let Carth redeem what's-her-name in order to become a Jedi?" Revan asked.

So Carth had redeemed Juhani? She really couldn't say that she was surprised. "Yes," she agreed cautiously, wondering where he was going with this or if he just wanted to complain some more.

"Allow me to recite it to you now. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. 'There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.' That's it. That's the Jedi Code. Please explain to me how you people have managed to get 'and you've got stay single forever and should probably remain a virgin just to be on the safe side' from that?"

" 'You people'?" Bastila asked, offended, crossing her arms.

"Well, yeah," Reva nodded. "I mean, you don't see me interpreting five vague statements as 'never have any fun ever.'"

"That's not what it…" Bastila trailed off. How did he keep managing to distract her? "But that's not the point. What you just said is our official code, yes, and the part about no relationships or familial bonds-"

"Wait, what?" Revan interrupted. "That's in there, too? Jedi are harsh."

"Is not something we've interpreted from that but rather a painful lesson we've learned after the war with Exar Kun forty years ago," Bastila continued as if she hadn't heard him.

"So it's not actually part of the Code, then?" Revan pressed.

Bastila sighed. "Technically, I suppose not but it's still become a vial tenet of our order and-"

"So, where was that meeting again?" Revan cut her off, hastily. That subject was clearly boring him.

"This way," Bastila said, leading him once more towards the Council Chambers.

"Ah, I see you have returned, Revan," Vandar greeted him.

"Bastila's here, too," Revan pointed out.

"We're not blind, Revan," Vrook snapped.

"Did you find what you were seeking at the ruin?" Dorak asked eagerly.

"I wasn't really 'seeking' anything, so no," Revan answered.

"Can you tell us what you did find?" Zhar inquired. "And if you can, please do."

"We found a bunch of old droids and now Bastila wants us to go to Kashyyyk, Korriban, Manaan, and Tatooine on the off-chance she can complete her star map," Revan explained succinctly.

Too, succinctly as it turned out as Vrook asked, "Revan, what in the name of the Force are you talking about? Or, better yet, why don't you tell us, Bastila?"

"Gladly," Bastila agreed. "We found Nemo – yes, we know, Revan, you find that endlessly if inexplicably amusing – dead inside the ruins. There was a few feet away from him who spoke a language no one but Revan could understand. Revan translated that a species called the Rakatan had once conquered a good portion of the Republic using their Star Forge, which was a quick and resource-light way of producing supplies for a war and which Malak now apparently has. After we passed a few tests, we were allowed in to see a Star Map that points to the location of the Star Forge. Unfortunately, the map is incomplete but I did manage to identify Korriban, Manaan, Kashyyyk, and Tatooine on key locations of the map and I believe that if we travel to these planets we'll find more Star Maps which can lead us to the Star Forge."

"It sounds like a long shot," Vrook noted. "But why not? It's not like we have any better plan."

"What?" Revan cried out, horrified. "But…but that's so stupid! And annoying! And it'll take forever!"

"We thought you might react this way," Vandar said solemnly. "And we thought long and hard about it. Eventually, Master Vrook hit upon a way to convince you. We cannot force you to go on this quest, but we're not letting your ship take off until you do so if you'd like to stay here that is fine. Padawan Juhani, the Jedi you redeemed, has asked to stay by your side as it will remind her of how close she came to falling and we have decided to grant her request-"

"I'll defect right now!" Revan threatened, trying not to panic.

"_Unless_ you agree to go after the Star Maps," Vandar concluded with a hint of triumph in his voice.

Revan groaned. "When do I leave?"

"As soon as possible," Dorak answered.

Revan said nothing else as he stormed out of the room, followed closely by Bastila.

Strangely, as he left he could have sworn he heard Zhar saying, "And so you've managed to persuade Revan yet again, Vrook. How do you always manage it?"

"I trained Malak for years," Vrook responded. "You honestly think I don't have experience dealing with this kind of thing?"

"I'll get the ship ready to go, you go find the rest of our group," Bastila instructed before heading towards the Ebon Hawk.

Revan quickly headed off towards the cafeteria where he was sure to find Mission and Zaalbar. Canderous and Carth didn't enter the enclave much due to hypocritical and pathetic Jedi pacifism-induced headaches and distaste and growing paranoia at never being told anything, respectively.

Revan spotted them at a table near the door hoarding a good three-quarters of the deserts while everyone else glared at them. They seemed not to mind, however. "Hey, you two, it's time to get out of here."

"Finally!" Mission exclaimed, standing up. "Here, help me carry these, will you? If I give them to Big Z, he'll just eat them on the way to the ship."

"You wound me, Mission," Zaalbar complained.

"Yeah, that's not exactly a denial I'm hearing," Mission pointed out.

Revan obligingly picked up half of Mission's share and they began making their way towards the ship and freedom.

Juhani stepped in their path suddenly. "Padawan," she greeted. "Have you heard that I have asked to accompany you on your epic quest to save the galaxy? I have not heard back from the Council yet, but I hope to serve as a reminder to you about the perils of the dark side and how easy it is to fall, just as you serve that role for me."

"…Yeah, that's really great, whoever you are," Revan told her after staring at her for a few seconds. "But I'm kind of in a hurry so take this up with the Council."

"Alright, I vill," Juhani nodded. "I vill be back shortly to tell you vhat they said so don't go anywhere."

The minute she was out of sight, Revan translated that for his two companions.

"Run."

Note: See? Carth can be a goody-goody without subjecting everyone to Juhani for the whole trip. And that really is one of the only things big enough to convince Revan to even bother in the first place…He really can't stand attempts to be a decent Jedi and orange outfit, naturally.

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	12. Bombarded By Personal Quests

Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: So I still don't own KotOR.

"Hello, and welcome to the planet Tatooine," the Czerka representative greeted them the moment they all stepped off the ship. "The docking fee is 100 credits-"

"We're not giving you 100 credits," Revan said flatly, looking her straight in the eye.

"But I suppose we can waive it just this once," the representative continued without missing a beat. "We've also loaded a supply of gizka onto your ship and after double-checking our records realized that we probably shouldn't have done that so even though we're not going to lift a finger in getting them off, we won't charge you for them."

"You will personally ensure that every gizka will be off of my ship within the hour," Revan corrected, still maintaining eye contact.

"Yes, now that I think of it, it just wouldn't do to have people thinking Czerka is that negligent," the representative mused. "I'll have them off the ship within the hours and you have my humblest apologies. Do you have any questions about the planet?"

"Not really, no," Revan replied.

"Well I do," Bastila spoke up. "We're looking for an ancient artifact. Is there anything we might need to know about the planet in light of that fact?"

"An ancient artifact, huh?" the representative asked. "There's nothing like that here in Anchorhead but then again most of the planet is covered in this infernal sand so I'd recommend checking the desert. That sill won't be much use to you seeing as how there is so very much sand around and between the sandstorms and the Sand People you won't be able to search very well."

"What are the Sand People?" Carth asked.

The representative shuddered. "They are a race if vile little people that live in the desert and keep attacking our caravans. If you see one, just kill it. You'll be doing the galaxy a favor. You won't find any in Anchorhead, though, and without a hunting license you can't leave the city."

"Hunting license, huh?" Canderous mused, rubbing his chin. "That sounds somehow both promising and insulting. Why should I need a license to kill peo-animals?"

"We at Czerka corporation will not be held accountable for the deaths of those who refuse to listen to reason and storm out into the desert unprepared and so you have to sign a waiver and pay a fee to get a hunting license," the representative explained. "You wouldn't believe the kind of lawsuits we were getting before. Apparently even though we issue warning at the gates, some people honestly never expected that a volatile desert with angry barbarian natives could be _dangerous_."

"I guess the Hunting Lodge is our first stop then," Zaalbar declared.

The representative blinked. "Sorry, I don't speak that language."

"Yes!" Carth cheered. "I'm not the only one!"

"That's not really anything to celebrate, Carth," Revan told him. "Czerka is well-known for being largely xenophobic."

"We are _not_ xenophobic," the representative sniffed. "And I will refer you to our attorney is you insist on spreading such malicious rumors."

"What Big Z was trying to say was that we should head to the Hunting Lodge to get our license," Mission translated, hoping to forestall an argument.

"Oh, well I'm afraid that that's simply out of the question," the representative explained.

"What? Why?" Canderous demanded, looking very put out and slightly homicidal at the thought that he wouldn't get a chance to kill anyone while he was here.

"We've not giving out any more hunting licenses until the attacks on Czerka by the Sand People have stopped as we're not willing to risk anyone's safety!" the representative declared passionately. "Although if you're that eager to go out and get yourself killed then sign up to kill the Sand People for us and we'll give you a license."

"Clearly you're not _that_ worried about public safety," Mission muttered.

"Of course we are!" the representative insisted. "That's why you have to sign **three** waivers. One for the hunting license and two in order to gain employment with us. You can never be too careful."

"Yes, yes you really can," Zaalbar assured her.

"Well, if that's all then I'm off. I only have fifty-three minutes to remove those gizka, you know," the representative informed them before rushing off.

"I can't believe you used the Force in such an inane matter!" Bastila exploded.

"Really?" Mission asked, surprised. "It seemed like a perfectly Revan thing for him to do."

"What, so you'd rather have to pay a docking fee and deal with those gizka?" Revan challenged. "It's bad enough T3 can't come because of all the sand but to be forced to part with my money and deal with those creepy little lizard things on top of that? I'm not sure I can do that Bastila, not even for you."

"The docking fee, yes, although the gizka…" Bastila hesitated. "You must be careful, Revan. I don't want to see you fall to the dark side."

Revan was touched. "Aw, you do care after all!"

Canderous snorted. "Please, Princess, he's not going to fall because he neglected to pay a stupid docking fee."

"I just don't think we should take any chances," Bastila insisted.

"I'll think about it," Revan promised. "But only because you're so beautiful."

Bastila closed her eyes and groaned.

Unfortunately, they barely managed to take two steps away from the Ebon Hawk before two Twi'lek and two humans rushed up to them.

"Bastila, you're mother-"

"Mission, you're brother-"

"Carth, you're son-"

"Canderous, you bastard-"

"Okay, hold up!" Revan ordered. "We can't have you all bore us with personal problems all at once. Why don't you go first, guy that called Canderous a bastard? I really don't agree but this at least sounds interesting. Well, comparatively at any rate."

"Thank you," the man said smugly. "My name is Jagi and I used to serve under Canderous here."

Revan groaned. "Oh, Force, not a jealous ex! How cliché can you be?"

"We never dated, Revan," Canderous informed him flatly. Seeing Revan about to respond, he elaborated. "We never fooled around, either. I was his commander in the War."

"Well that's alright then," Revan decided. "Carry on."

"You left me and everyone else to die!" Jagi accused.

The three others who hadn't gotten their chance to speak yet gasped dramatically.

"It's true," Jagi said grimly. "And I'm going to kill you for it."

"Not here, I hope," Bastila spoke up. "Czerka would probably try to charge us another fee."

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"What?" Bastila demanded, her hands on her hips. "Am I supposed to be all 'no, murder is wrong'? He's a Mandalorian. He'd probably refuse to speak to me if I did. Although that might not be all that bad…"

Canderous nodded. "She's right. I would. But Jagi, I _had_ to leave you all to die. I saw an opportunity for glory!"

"What use is glory to the dead?" Jagi spat bitterly.

Canderous shrugged. "Not much, I guess, but I certainly wasn't planning on dying."

"Death is scared of Canderous," Revan added loyally.

"And no remorse, either, after all this time!" Jagi cried out, anguished.

"You fail at being a Mandalorian forever," Canderous said dismissively. "Honestly, 'you should put your lives men above glory'? Who says that crap? Go join the Republic, why don't you?"

Jagi gasped. "Take! That! Back!"

"Let me think about it…" Canderous trailed off, pretending to think. "No."

"Then I challenge you to a duel in the Dunes!" Jagi declared.

"I'll be there," Canderous vowed, his eyes dancing dangerously.

"Not for nothing, but how would you even find each other if you don't get any more specific than 'the Dunes'?" Carth asked reasonably. "And we don't have a hunting license so we can't get out there so you either don't have one either and thus can't go or do and can help us get out there? And why does it have to be in the Dunes anyway? That's hardly the best location for a fight or are you guys just trying to be dramatic? And another thing-"

Canderous jerked his head towards Carth. "See, **that's** what Republic soldiers are like."

"Now I'll kill you doubly for your insult," Jagi bit out, deeply offended. "Until then, Canderous. Try not to let the little sand creatures kill you first."

Canderous shook his head ruefully. "That boy had such promise. Now I think even Republic here could take him."

"Hey!" Carth protested.

"Okay, who wants to go next? Let's go with one of the Twi'leks so I'm not being accused of being racist," Revan decided.

"I'll go," one of them spoke up quickly. "Bastila, how are you, dear?"

Bastila looked confused. "Do I know you?"

"Well, maybe not," the woman conceded. "But I'm a friend of your mother's and my name is Malare. you look just like your mother…poor Helena…"

Bastila looked horrified. "I do not! Take that back you vile, horrible woman!"

"But…but you do!" poor Malare insisted.

"I'm warning you, I have a lightsaber and I'm not afraid to use it," Bastila threatened.

"Didn't you _just_ say five minutes ago I shouldn't use the Force for inane things like, say, being told I resemble one of my parents?" Revan reminded her.

"Don't be silly, Revan, this isn't like that at all," Bastila disagreed.

"It isn't?" Revan asked skeptically.

"No," Bastila confirmed. "For one thing, a lightsaber doesn't require the Force to activate."

"I…I just wanted to ask if you'd been in to see Helena," Malare said, looking terrified.

Bastila made a face. "Why would I? She wouldn't want to see me anyway."

"But she's dying!" Malare declared passionately.

"…What was that?" Bastila asked.

"Your mother is dying and she's all alone so all she wants is to see her only child again!" Malare claimed. "Would you really deny her that?"

Bastila looked torn. "I…suppose…not."

"Well, now that I've done my public service I can go about the rest of my business," Malare informed them before running off.

"So I won't be accused of being racist against humans – and don't give me that look, guys, it has happened – why don't you go next, other human?" Revan invited.

"Okay," the man nodded. "My name is Jordo and if you don't remember me, Carth, then I'm just leaving right now and won't tell you anything about your son."

"Jordo, old buddy, I remember you," Carth said immediately. "Back on Taris we'd go drinking. Good times…good times…before, you know, the Sith blew it up. I really need to kill Saul for that… slowly and painfully. Canderous promised to help."

"It's the only thing that makes me feel that there is hope for you, Republic," Canderous declared.

"And why do you keep calling me that, anyway?" Carth wondered.

"Because he's awesome like that," Revan replied. "Duh."

"So you're still anti-Sith, huh?" Jordo mused.

Carth stared at him. "Am I still anti-Sith? Of course I'm still anti-Sith! The Sith killed my wife and son and razed my planet!"

"Yeah, they did do that," Jordo acknowledged. "Oh, except the part about your son."

"My son is dead," Carth said heavily. "I never found his body but I know he's as dead as Morgana…"

Revan yawned. "I'm bored. Mission, want to play Pazaak?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Mission said eagerly and took out her deck.

"Don't you two have any decency?" Zaalbar wondered.

"You're just jealous because Pazaak is a two-person game and I asked first," Revan said smugly.

"I'll play you," Canderous volunteered. "If you have another deck."

Mission absently passed a second deck to Zaalbar who started shuffling.

"You guys are horrible," Bastila complained.

"You're just jealous because there isn't anyone for you to play with," Revan claimed. "Although don't worry, I still like you."

"That's…very interesting, Carth," Jordo lied. "But seriously, your son is not dead. I saw him on Korriban at the Sith Academy and I only remember this because I was all 'You know, Carth used to be pretty anti-Sith so I can't imagine that he's pleased about this' and so when I saw you I decided to ask about it. Dustil always did manage to guilt you into supporting whatever he wanted to do because you were never home."

"I was trying to make the galaxy a safer place and the Republic needed me," Carth said automatically. He'd gone into shock at the words 'Sith Academy.'

As he just continued to stand there, Bastila decided to help him out by elbowing him in the side.

"What do you _mean_ you saw him at a Sith Academy?" Carth cried out, horrified.

Jordo shrugged. "Just what I said. I haven't seen him for awhile and I don't think he recognized me but he looked enough like you that I could tell it was him."

"Well, thank you for telling me this, I guess," Carth said, trying to keep himself under control.

"I'm really sorry," Jordo apologized, wincing slightly. "I thought you knew…" He quickly made his excuses and took off.

The last Twi'lek stood there for a few minutes waiting to be acknowledged by Carth was too caught up in his grief and horror, Bastila was trying to convince herself she really didn't look at all like her evil mother, and the others were too busy with their card game. Eventually she cleared her throat.

"Yes?" Revan drawled when he finally deigned to look at her.

"Is it my turn yet?" she asked. "Everyone else already went."

"If you must," Revan said with a put-upon sigh. "Mission, I believe she was saying something about your brother?"

"I have nothing to say to the likes of her," Mission sniffed, refusing to put down the cards.

"Mission," the Twi'lek looked hurt. "It's me, Lena. Don't you remember me?"

"Of course I remember you, you gold-digger," Mission said coldly. "Why would I have anything to say to the woman who stole my brother from me? Is he still around or did you use up all his money and ditch him on some convenient planet somewhere?"

"Mission…I'm not sure where you got the idea that I wanted to leave you behind but that's not at all how it happened!" Lena exclaimed. "I wanted to take you with us! You were just a child, it was absurd to leave you alone. I even offered to pay your way like I did Griff's but he wouldn't hear of it. He said you were better off there for now and he'd come back for you when he struck it rich. Eventually I grew tired of his gold-digging ways and gave him the boot. I'm relieved to see that you managed to get off of Taris alive. I was worried."

"Force, Lena, you're such a liar!" Mission shouted. "My brother would never do that to me! He loves me! I hate you and I want you to leave!"

Lena looked upset. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I should probably go. I've heard he's working for Czerka now, here on Tatooine. If you really want to find him again I'd recommend looking there."

With that, Lena too took her leave.

"I hate her," Mission declared. "She is just the worst person ever. She's so bad I'm surprised she's not a Sith. But maybe they took one look at her and decided that she was too evil even for them. Still...if she's right about Griff being on Tatooine then I'm going to need to find him. I don't believe Lena's story but I need to ask him anyway so I can hear just how much of a lie it is from him."

"And I suppose I should look for my mother," Bastila said reluctantly. "Knowing her she's probably off in a Cantina somewhere…Surely I don't REALLY look like her. I mean, really? We looked nothing alike when I was a child. Sure people used to say I looked like a mini-her but my father assured me that that wasn't truth and he wouldn't lie to me."

"And I need to go duel Jagi to prove what a pathetic excuse for a Mandalorian he is," Canderous declared. "Not that it isn't blatantly obvious but I'm sure it will be glorious anyway."

"And then once we're done with Tatooine we need to head straight for Korriban," Carth said firmly. "I have to see Dustil as a student at this supposed Sith Academy for myself in order to believe it. Why do Sith even have an Academy and what do they even do there?"

"Why wouldn't they?" Bastila asked sensibly. "The Jedi do, after all. Since most of the Jedi training is about self-control so you don't fall to the dark side I'd imagine their training is a good deal shorter."

"I think that Carth's suggestion is a good one," Zaalbar spoke up. "We really should go and make sure his son is okay instead of, I don't know, returning to Kashyyyk where I was exiled a few years back…"

"It's strange," Revan remarked. "I totally was paying no attention but I feel that if I were I would be suspicious right now…"

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	13. Who Wouldn't Want an Assassin Droid?

Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: So apparently I haven't updated this in nearly two months…whoops. Sorry about that.

"I'm sorry, but there is simply nothing that Czerka Corp can do to help you at this time," a representative was saying automatically as she flipped through a magazine when the group entered the Czerka Corp office they had been directed to. "Though we do thank you for taking the time to come door here and explain your concerns."

The Duros standing in front of the bored representative looked annoyed at failing to keep her attention and threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "What do you _mean_ you can't help me? Your company wants the attacks by the sand people to stop and I know how to stop them! Just go buy that protocol droid that somehow knows how to speak the Sand People dialect and go talk to them!"

"Czerka Corp does not have the resources available to acquiesce with your request," the representative replied as she idly turned the page.

"Like I'll believe that," the Duros muttered bitterly. "But fine, how about this. _I'll_ buy the damn droid and go see what the Sand People want. How does that sound?"

"Czerka Corp is not giving out any hunting licenses at this time," the representative said flatly.

"What?" Canderous cried out, horrified. "In addition to that making me miss my duel with Jagi and never being able to live it down – I mean, it's **Jagi**, me not showing up is honestly the only way he could ever stand a chance of winning – I was really looking forward to getting to slaughter the indigenous people…"

The representative perked up. "You know, now that I think of it Czerka Cop is able to issue one more license."

"My honor is safe!" Canderous cheered. "Though those Sand People won't be."

"Wait, wait, wait…" the Duros objected. "I've been coming in here for weeks now trying to get a license only to be rebuffed time and time again and a casual mention of genocide is enough to get you to change your tune? Just like that?"

"Of course," the representative said gravely. "Genocide is serious business."

"And you're encouraging it! No, more than that: you're enabling it! You humans are all racist," the Duros accused disgustedly as he turned to go.

"Tell me about it," Zaalbar agreed.

"I don't know," Mission disagreed. "Revan went through a great deal of trouble earlier today to prove that he wasn't. And given that this is Revan we're talking about that's even more impressive."

"True," Zaalbar agreed. He cleared his throat before trying his modified new catchphrase. "You humans besides Revan are all racist!"

"That doesn't quite have the same ring to it," the Duros declared shaking his head as he exited the building.

"Why can't we get a hunting license without agreeing to slaughter the Sand People wholesale?" Carth demanded.

"Because Czerka Corp isn't issuing any licenses at all but we do need those pesky natives out of the way," the representative explained patiently. "We will, of course, pay you for every one that you kill and a bonus for killing the chief. Just show me the staffs of the ones that you kill and we'll calculate how much you are owed from that."

"Revan, convince her to let us go into the desert without agreeing to commit genocide because Czerka can't be bothered to try and resolve this peacefully," Bastila hissed.

Revan yawned. "Why? Canderous already talked her into letting us through."

"But genocide is not the way of the Jedi!" Bastila protested.

Revan snorted. "Tell that to the Sith."

Bastila froze. "The Sith are not a separate species but misguided souls seduced by the dark side," she said carefully.

"You could always just, you know, lie," Carth suggested quietly. "We can get our license and then not actually keep our end of the deal."

Bastila looked torn. "I don't know…Lying isn't really the way of the Jedi, either."

"It's got to be more Jedi-like that genocide, right?" Carth asked rhetorically.

Bastila shot a discrete glance at Revan. "I suppose…"

"So are there any specifics?" Canderous asked as the Czerka representative handed him his license. "Like, do I get paid extra for bringing back body parts? What about methods of execution?"

The representative looked a little disturbed. "Just…just bring back the staffs and nothing else, alright. I really don't care how you do it. Czerka Corp just wants them dead."

"Will do," Canderous said cheerfully. "I just love it when employers give you creative freedom."

"That is deeply disturbing," Mission told him. "Or at least it would be if I really cared."

"We should get going," Zaalbar suggested. "Those Sand People aren't going to kill themselves and if they do then we're probably not going to get paid."

Once the exited the Czerka building they saw the Duros from before waiting for them. "You're not actually going to go along with this, are you?"

"We're undecided," Revan replied. "Why?"

"Because all of this is highly unnecessary and cruel!" the Duros exclaimed. "You don't _need_ to kill them, especially since diplomatic communication hasn't even been attempted yet!"

"No one speaks the Sand People dialect so that would make that rather tricky," Zaalbar pointed out.

"Yeah," Mission nodded. "There are enough people in the galaxy who can't even understand Big Z." She jerked her head towards Carth.

"There is a droid in the Anchorage droid shop who claims to speak the language," the Duros revealed. "But I have no idea if this is true or not. He offered to demonstrate but since I don't speak the language myself I have no idea if all the guttural noises he was making was really it. Still, the chance that he does speak it and that he could use it to help resolve all of this peacefully is worth the 5000 credits."

"You honestly expect Revan to be willing to spend 5000 credits that easily when he could just kill everything?" Bastila asked skeptically. She needn't have worried, however.

"Droid shop?" Revan asked eagerly. "Where?"

* * *

"I think I'm in love," Revan declared dramatically as he stared at the rusty-red protocol droid before him.

"Oh good," Bastila deadpanned. "Does that mean you'll stop hitting on me?"

"Of course not," Revan replied cheerfully. "You're great and all Bastila, but you're just not a droid. Still, I'm nearly positive that that kind of a relationship is not legal on most planets and is really creepy on all of them."

"Uncertain pronouncement: You sound familiar…" the droid said slowly. "Joyful realization: Can it be? Master Revan?"

" 'Master' Revan, huh?" Carth said, eyeing him strangely. "I thought you said it _wasn't_ like that."

"What?" Revan asked innocently. "It's not. Really."

"So this protocol droid knows you?" Mission asked, surprised. "What are the odds?"

"Pretty good, I'd say, since that's exactly what happened," Zaalbar answered.

"A protocol droid?" Canderous repeated. "Lame. You know what would be great, though? An **assassin** droid. Now that would be both useful and take everyone by surprise."

"Proud declaration: I _am_ an assassin droid," the droid said proudly. "Perfunctory introduction: HK-47 at your service. Surprised admission: And I must say that you seem far more reasonable than most meatbags that I've had the dubious pleasure of encountering."

"Meatbags?" Canderous repeated, unsure whether or not he should be offended.

"He means 'non-droid'," Revan explained.

"Explanation: Malak asked me what I thought of him once," HK explained. "And I informed him of his meatbag status. He was very insulted but Revan thought it was funny and instructed me to keep referring to all meatbags as such."

Bastila looked like she was about to have a heart attack at the revelation.

"Wait, you knew Malak?" Carth asked, surprised. "As in Dark Lord of the Sith Malak?"

"Confirmation: Yes," HK confirmed.

"How do you know Revan, then?" Carth pressed.

"Obvious revelation: Revan built me," HK told them.

"I would normally find that to be a bit uncharacteristic of Revan," Mission said. "But given his droid fetish-"

"I do not have a droid fetish!" Revan insisted.

"You kind of do," Zaalbar disagreed.

"Well…maybe just a little," Revan admitted.

"So does that mean that you knew Malak, Revan?" Carth demanded. "Why wouldn't you tell me this? I knew I couldn't trust you!"

"Apparently because I am very untrustworthy," Revan said sardonically. "As for why I didn't mention it…I don't know. It didn't really occur to me to, I guess."

"You…You know Malak?" Bastila asked, looking just short of outright terrified.

Revan looked at her inquisitively. "Didn't you just hear HK announce that?"

"Well, yes," Bastila conceded. "But there's bound to be more than one Malak in the universe."

"Especially since 'Malak' wasn't even his real name," Revan agreed. "He just thought his real name was stupid and so changed it. Or maybe I was the one who thought it was stupid and started calling him Malak…he evidently felt the same or he probably wouldn't have started going by that himself."

"But how did you know him?" Carth asked suspiciously.

Revan merely shrugged. "Oh, you know…"

"No, I _don't_ know," Carth countered. "Which is kind of why I'm asking."

"So, where's the salesperson?" Bastila asked hurriedly. "We should really just purchase this HK-47 and get a move on. We don't have all day, after all."

While she went off to go look for the shop's proprietor, Canderous realized something. "Don't get me wrong, I am in full support of purchasing HK since he's an assassin droid and that is all kinds of amazing but we haven't verified that he can speak the Sand People dialect yet. While I don't really have an interest in communicating with these people, it would seem a waste not to even find out if we _can_ or not."

"_Insulted assertion: I can assure you that I can, in fact, speak that barbaric dialect_," HK said, offended.

"Well, that's certainly no language I recognize," Carth announced.

"That's really not saying all that much," Zaalbar pointed out.

"What did he say?" Carth asked, confused.

"He said 'You humans besides Revan are all racist,'" Mission helpfully translated.

"I did not!" Zaalbar exclaimed. He paused. "Well, not then at least."

"He can speak it," Revan confirmed.

"How do you know?" Canderous asked curiously.

"_Because I can speak it, too_," Revan replied. He knew that the others wouldn't be able to understand him but that was alright: the mere fact that they didn't know what he said would get the meaning of his words across.

"Then…why did we have to come in here and get an assassin droid?" Carth asked the obvious question. "Since we clearly don't need it."

"Because droids, particularly assassin droids, are the Force's gift to mankind," Revan explained. "And lest I get wrongly accused of racism, I should probably explain that by 'mankind' I don't just mean humans but rather all provably sentient life-forms."

"Well that's okay then," Mission allowed.

* * *

"Now that that's settled we really should be heading out to the desert," Bastila was protesting as she grudgingly followed everyone else into the Cantina. "We really don't have time for this anyway. And I'm sure my mother is fine! And since when does anyone besides Carth actually care if I get reunited with my evil mother or not?"

"We don't," Canderous explained. "But I'm not about to turn down the chance to get a drink."

"Or to play Pazaak," Mission piped up.

"Meeting a girl's parents is a very important part of any serious relationship," Revan told her.

"We're not in a relationship, Revan," Bastila reminded him.

"What, you don't think co-Republic's Only Hope people is serious?" Revan asked, shocked. "Bastila, I'm surprised at you!"

Bastila just rolled her eyes. "Let's just get this over with. She's over there."

Bastila pointed towards a middle-aged woman who did look remarkably like the Jedi Princess although Revan had far too strong of a self-preservation interest to ever even remotely imply that to his future love interest. He strolled right up to the woman with Bastila and, oddly enough, HK at his heels.

"So what's her name, anyway?" Revan wondered. "Or should I just call her 'Bastila's mother'?"

"Helena," Bastila said shortly.

"Helena Shan, got it," Revan said.

"Greetings, mother, I heard you were ill," Bastila said, sounding less enthusiastic than Revan had ever heard. It actually reminded him a little of himself. Why couldn't she be like that more often? Sure the universe might be conquered by the Sith but was that really such a huge problem?

"Who are…" Bastila's mother started to say. "Bastila, is that you?"

"You didn't recognize me?" Bastila said, a little bit of hopefulness creeping into her voice. "I guess that answers the question of whether we really look all that much alike."

"Amused theory: Or it could just mean that you're in denial," HK posited. "Of course, all meatbags look the same to me. Desperate plea: Can we kill this one, Master?"

"Bastila?" Revan left the decision up to her.

Bastila looked sorely tempted for a moment before she sighed. "It is not the Jedi way."

"What are you even doing here?" Helena demanded. "Don't tell me you're actually pretending to care that I'm deathly ill."

"You look fine," Bastila said dismissively after giving her mother the once-over.

"Yes, because all fatal diseases are immediately apparent the moment you lay eyes on a person, particularly when it's not near the end," Helena said sarcastically.

"See? This is why I never visit," Bastila shot back. "Well…that and the Jedi's policy of never keeping contact with your family for fear that your love for them might turn you evil."

"The Jedi have a really warped view of love," Revan noted, looking a little disturbed. Did he really want to romance someone who honestly thought that love was evil or, to be more precise, would turn you evil? Oh, who was he kidding? She was _really_ pretty.

"Firm agreement: I agree. Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds," HK claimed.

"Well, I suppose their view could be worse," Revan conceded. "At any rate at least they even believe in it, unlike the Sith."

"I ran into someone who claimed to be a friend of yours," Bastila told her mother. "She said you were sick – which I don't believe for a minute – and that you were here. Where's Father? Since I'm here anyway and was forced to talk to you, I would like to try and salvage at least a part of this little visit and see him."

"Oh, you don't know?" Helena looked a little awkward. "A dragon ate him."

Bastila blinked. "Oh, well that's…that's not good. This is all your fault, isn't it? You always forced him to go off on treasure hunts because of your insatiable greed and you never even let me go along with him to try and make the trips somewhat bearable!"

"Are we remembering the same past?" Helena wondered aloud. "I _hated_ those stupid treasure hunts your father kept insisting on going on but it was a living, poor though it may be. He was so passionate about it and so I couldn't find it in me to make him stop. Just the same, treasure hunting was no place for a little girl and so when the Jedi showed up and offered to take you I knew that I would at least be able to do that much for you."

"Liar!" Bastila cried. "You sent me away because you didn't want me!"

"I can see the years of separation have done wonders for your ability to look at things in an objective manner," Helena said dryly. "I **loved** you, Bastila, but I knew that the Jedi could give you a better life than your father and I could. Were you unhappy there?"

"Well…no," Bastila admitted. "But you still got Father killed!"

Helena sighed. "I tried to get him to stop treasure hunting or at least stick to less suicidal trips but he insisted on trying to pay for my treatments…"

"I knew it was your fault!" Bastila crowed triumphantly.

Revan, uncomfortable being placed in the odd position of the responsible one for once, spoke up hesitantly, "I'm sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do?"

"My husband had a Holocron that I would like recovered if at all possible," Helena admitted. "But I can't possibly ask you to retrieve that for me. It is far too dangerous and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my daughter as well."

"That settles it," Bastila declared. "We'll find Father's Holocron but then I'm going to keep it for myself since you're a horrible person, a worse mother, and got Father killed."

"Seriously, the Jedi think that the abandonment issues caused by cutting off contact from your family is a good idea?" Revan couldn't believe it.

"I don't know what you mean, Revan," Bastila said virtuously. "Now let's go, we have to reach the Star Map if we want to have any hope of saving the galaxy."

Revan stared at her as she walked off. "Okay, what just happened?"

Review Please!


	14. So Much For Diplomacy

Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Despite Bastila's determination to set off right away, Mission had stopped in to another Czerka office to ask about Griff and having been informed that he had worked there before being kidnapped by Sand People but that they weren't concerned because he was 'honestly the laziest, more scatterbrained employee that I'd ever had the misfortune to hire and if he'd just kept even a fraction of the money people keep giving him for his get-rich-quick schemes that always blow up in his face then I wouldn't be hounded constantly by all the debt-collectors who think that he faked his own death for the seventeenth time to avoid them.'

Needless to say, Mission was very upset by this news – not the least because she had only been aware the Griff had faked his death four times – and so had not been able to bring herself to keep going until she had forced Revan to enter the Taris swoop racing circuit and make a killing betting on him. Still, it wasn't all bad: they were getting lots of money although Motta the Hutt likely hated them.

Still, that had only taken six hours and it was best not to travel through the desert in the middle of the day anyway and by early evening the group was finally ready to head out into the desert. Only a few feet into the desert they spotted a brunette looking bitterly satisfied as she made her way towards the gates back into the city.

She narrowed her eyes at them suspiciously. "Czerka actually allowing people out into the desert? I haven't seen you before but you're not wearing a uniform and you don't have any of the usual supplies so I'm gather you're a hunter. The Twi'lek looks too young to be a problem but you…" She glared daggers at Bastila.

Bastila, understandably confused, asked, "There's a problem? And you seem to be under the impression that it's my fault?"

"Oh, don't even pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about, you hussy," the woman snapped. "I'm Tanis' wife, Marlena." She smiled darkly. "Well, for now that is."

"Is there any point in wondering who this Tanis is and why her being married to him makes me a hussy?" Bastila wondered aloud.

"You'd think you'd be more upset about him calling you a hussy," Carth told her with a frown. "I mean, I'm getting upset on your behalf over here."

"But not as upset as me," Revan said quickly. "Since I care so much more about you than Carth and whatnot." He looked pointedly at HK.

"Annoyed taking of hint: And need I remind you that most Sith were once Jedi and so someone as paranoid as you shouldn't really consider a relationship with a Jedi if only for your overrated sanity?" HK asked obligingly.

Revan beamed. "I love HK."

"I would be," Bastila responded, ignoring Carth's thoughtful stare following HK's pronouncement, "if the fact that the most action I've ever had was when people like Revan won't stop hitting on me didn't make her assertion absolutely ridiculous."

"Oh please," Marlena scoffed. "You have a hunting license or at least travel with someone who does and you're female. Of _course_ you're having an affair with my husband."

"I just got here, I don't even know who your husband is, I'm celibate as it is, and just because your husband might be interested in me if we ever met does **not** mean the interest is returned and the mere fact that he's married would be enough to kill it anyway," Bastila said a little coldly.

"You can't fool me, I know your type," Marlena insisted.

"What? Female?" Canderous asked.

"I will not hear your lies!" Marlena declared as she pushed past them. "Oh, but if you do see my husband that I just know you're sleeping with before he perishes, tell him that he totally deserves this."

"I'm extremely disturbed by her," Zaalbar confessed. "And a little afraid to meet her husband."

They continued on their way and soon ran into three dark Jedi dressed in black from head to toe.

"Okay, remember," one of them said, "Czerka complained to Lord Malak when we kept killing everyone in their caravans looking for Revan so we're actually supposed to make sure that he's here before attacking them all."

"But we've been here for weeks!" another one whined. "And these outfits are really not the best for long-term time in the deserts of Tatooine."

"Well, you remember what Lord Malak said when we complained to him," the third spoke up. "Our orders were quite clear that we were to wait here until Revan showed up no matter how long he might take unless we learned that he wasn't after the Star Maps after all. It's not his problem that we decided to go completely unprepared."

"You know, sometimes I get the feeling that Lord Malak really doesn't care about the well-being of his loyal servants," the second complained.

"Don't be silly," the third disagreed. "With all the Jedi we're killing, how long it takes to train a Jedi, and the very…selective recruiting practices of the Sith, there's only so many people qualified to replace us."

"We can talk about this later," the first cut in. "I don't suppose any of you happen to be Revan?" he addressed the group without much hope.

"Nope, not at all," Mission said quickly as Bastila pulled Revan's hood up over his face and Carth quickly dragged him along.

"I can't believe that we just ran from a fight," Canderous complained.

"Vehement agreement: I was promised blood and so far we have killed nobody," HK said dangerously.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bastila said virtuously. "They didn't even attack us."

"But they were looking for Revan," Canderous pointed out. "And had they found out that this was him then they would have attacked for sure. I thought lying wasn't the Jedi way."

"Well, as somebody pointed out to me neither was genocide," Bastila said dryly.

Revan looked confused. "But you said that the Sith weren't a separate-"

"Oh look, a distraction!" Bastila declared, pointing at a human man in the distance, surrounded by several droids. "I say we go see what's going on."

"Hi, I'm Tanis," Tanis introduced. "My wife is a crazy bitch and reprogrammed my hunting droids to explode and kill me if I move from this spot but if I don't I'll die soon enough anyway. A little help, please?"

"Incredulous statement: She didn't think the droids could kill him without self-destructing?" HK demanded.

"You know, it's strange," Bastila mused, "but having met this Tanis Marlena spoke of I'm really not feeling the need to jump him."

Tanis gave her a strange look. "Good to know…wait, this is her insane jealousy assuming that any girl I might conceivably know is sleeping with me, right? I mean, don't take this the wrong way: you're very beautiful but I'm hardly the nymphomaniac she'd have you believe."

"I don't know," Carth said doubtfully. "There's no smoke without fire."

Tanis rolled his eyes. "Blast, I hate that expression. While it may be true that you don't get smoke without fire you can indeed have gossip and rumors without any part of them being true. Like, say I said that that guy," he pointed at Revan, "was the former Dark Lord of the Sith. What does your smug little 'there's no smoke without fire' mentality have to say about that?"

Bastila wondered vaguely why these things kept happening to her. "I suggest we just leave him to die," she said, irritated.

Revan immediately grew concerned. "Are you feeling aright, Bastila? Suggesting we not help someone clearly in need isn't like you. Is this because of your mother?"

Bastila chose not to dignify that with a response.

"You can't just leave me here," Tanis protested desperately. "I'll DIE!"

"We don't care," Canderous said bluntly.

"I care!" Carth said heatedly.

"Well, except for Republic," Canderous amended.

"Unfortunately, I don't know enough about droids to be able to safely disable them for you," Carth said apologetically.

"So I'm doomed?" Tanis asked, his voice shaking.

"Not if I can help it," Carth said determinedly.

Tanis looked puzzled. "But I thought you just said that you _couldn't_-"

"Revan," Carth interrupted loudly. "Did you hear that? Unless we reprogram Tanis' droids then four innocent droids are going to die!"

"That's a little melodramatic, don't you thing? And what about _my_ impending dea-" Tanis started to say.

Revan's eyes flashed. "And I am not about to let that happen!" He quickly made his way to the first droid and within ten minutes all four of them were shut down.

"Puzzled confession: I'm not sure if I should feel relief that four droids weren't destroyed in one insane woman's convoluted attempt to kill her husband or disappointment that no one died," HK announced.

"Me too," Canderous nodded. "Except I didn't care about the droids."

"So basically you just are put-out that there was no blood," Zaalbar surmised.

Canderous shrugged. "Pretty much."

"Um, thank you very much for what you did," Tanis said nervously. "But you all sound like pretty violent people and only one of you actually cares if I live or die so I'm just going to give you 400 credits for you trouble and take off, okay?" He practically threw the money at them before sprinting back towards Anchorhead.

"What's with him?" Mission wondered.

* * *

They had happened upon a downed Czerka sandcrawler and killed all of the attacking Sand People before collecting their sticks. Poor Canderous was so grateful to finally get a chance to do something violent that he nearly cried and HK theorized that if he had tear ducts he would likely do the same.

They had continued on their way merrily slaughtering all the Sand People that they came across – and taking their stuff – when they reached a compound that they assumed to be owned by the Sand People.

They were about to go in when a voice through the door stopped them.

"_Who are you and what do you want?_" the voice demanded.

"What did he say?" Carth asked.

"Translation: He wants to know who we are and what we want," HK translated.

"Tell him that we want to go see their leader to discuss the recent attacks and that we come in peace," Bastila ordered.

HK grudgingly did so.

"_I find that difficult to believe given the dozens of our prized Gaffi Sticks you clearly have in your possession_," the voice said dubiously. "_But I suppose that if I were being fair then I'd have to admit that they likely just attacked you on sight so you would have had no choice but to defend yourselves no matter what your intentions were. Still, you cannot come in here without removing your armor and weapons so we can be certain that you're not a threat._"

Revan stepped forward. "_Can you see me? And if so, how well?_"

"_I can see the whites of your eyes,_" the Sand Person replied promptly. "_Why?_"

"_Oh, no reason,_" Revan said innocently. "_We can come in without needing to remove our armor and weapons_."

"_I'll unlock the door right now_," the Sand Person said, doing just that.

"Wait…Revan can speak the Sand People dialect?" Bastila looked shocked. "Then why did we buy an assassin droid?"

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Zaalbar wondered.

"I think Bastila was off talking to the shop proprietor," Mission reminded him.

"Because it's an assassin droid and those combine two of my great loves," Revan replied easily.

"Hopeful inquiry: Assassinating things and droids?" HK guessed.

"Close," Revan allowed with a grin. "Droids and things that are badass, of which assassinating most definitely counts as."

"But he still claims he doesn't have a droid fetish," Carth muttered.

"Right," Revan agreed. "I still don't…" he trailed off and turned to glare at Carth. "Wait, what do you mean 'claimed'?"

"Can we just go inside?" Bastila asked tiredly, pointing to the now-open door.

They did so and were soon led through the vast compound and to whom they presumed was the Chieftain.

Canderous cocked his gun but to his surprise it was Revan that stopped him. "Wait. We just spent 5000 credits on a translator that we don't actually need – or at least that I don't actually need – and so we may as well see what he has to say first."

"_Why are you here?_" the Chieftain asked.

"_Blatant lie: we were just passing through the area," _HK replied innocently…or about as innocently as he could. It might have been more convincing if Revan had programmed him to be a better liar and not verbally broadcast all of him true intentions before he spoke.

The Chieftain didn't seem to notice, however. "_I see. And the senseless slaughter of my clansman?_"

"_They started it_," Revan claimed. And it was even true, in a way, for even though Canderous was totally planning on killing them anyway, the Sand People had attacked them before they had gotten the chance to do so themselves. "_Also, do you happen to know where we can find an ancient Star Map?"_

"_Oh yes,_" the Chieftain nodded. "_It's in a cave with an evil aura that we never have been able to decide if it came from your Star Map or from the giant dragon that happens to live in the cave. Perhaps the evil artifact called to the dragon?"_

"Wow, that's just…Bastila, are we sure that it would be such a bad thing if the Sith took over the universe?" Revan asked, looking horrified.

Bastila sighed. "Yes, Revan, I'm positive. The Sith are horrible people and they want you dead."

"But why?" Revan wondered. "I really don't care what they do."

"…Apathy is death?" Bastila ventured. Revan's old Jedi Master Kae had often said something of the sort and she'd be assumed to be a Sith once Revan showed himself to be one so it was sort of a belief that one of them had.

Fortunately, that seemed to make sense to Revan who groaned. "I hate my life."

"What did they say?" Carth demanded.

"Loose Translation: the Star Map is in a cave with a dragon that would like to do nothing more than to eat us all and may very well have killed Bastila's father," HK reported. It might have been more of the general idea of what was said rather than an exact translation but if they really wanted to know, word-for-word, what those who happened to speak the language of the Sand People were talking about then maybe they should have taken the time to learn the language themselves. Admittedly, he hadn't had to do that as an understanding of the language had been programmed into him but that was just one of the many, many advantages of not being a meatbag.

There was only one thing that Bastila could say to that. "I blame my mother."

"For the dragon guarding our Star Map?" Carth asked, confused. "I don't know, Bastila. I think you might be going overboard here. I mean, I know you resent her and Force knows that I'm probably just projecting because I'm worried my son will start blaming me for all manner of things from me not being there during the attack to the Sith even showing up in the first place but surely if she had dragon-controlling powers then she probably wouldn't be so short on money as to need your father to go treasure hunting to pay for her treatment."

"She's not sick, she didn't need the money, and she's just evil!" Bastila insisted heatedly. "But I wasn't actually talking about the cave in general, just the fact that this might very well be the dragon that ate my father. I can't kill it personally, of course, as revenge is not the way of the Jedi."

"Even if you're not killing him in revenge but to get the Star Map?" Mission asked skeptically.

Bastila nodded. "I have reason to being angry with him so therefore I can't risk it."

"Jedi," Zaalbar shook his head in bemusement.

"I know, right?" Revan asked. He switched his gaze back to the Chieftain who seemed to be waiting for them to finish. "_I…guess we'll just be going then._"

The Chieftain nodded but didn't reply.

"Okay, time to go," Revan announced, heading for the door.

"What?" Canderous protested. "But we're supposed to kill them all, remember? You can't take this from me!"

"Sorry, Canderous," Revan apologized. "Next time I'll make sure to goad them into attacking."

"Let's just hurry so you can get on with your duel with Jagi," Bastila said quickly to distract him.

It worked as Canderous started talking a mile a minute about all the ways he planned to crush his former subordinate.

Unfortunately, before they reached the exit Revan's kleptomania started acting up and he could see something that looked interesting sticking out of one of the basket's in the corner of a room. Surely no one would mind if he just took a quick look, right? And then picked up the vibroblade. And then put it in his pack.

Every Sand Person in the room turned towards him and a few from the neighboring rooms poked their heads in and then promptly drew their weapons.

"Whoops…" Revan said sheepishly.

So much for diplomacy.

Review Please!


	15. There Are No Shortcuts

Chapter Fifteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"You know something, Revan?" Canderous asked rhetorically as he stared around at all the carnage surrounding them with glee. "You really had me worried there for a moment with all your talk of 'leaving peacefully' and 'avoiding senseless slaughter' but now I see that I was wrong to doubt you and it will never happen again."

"Thanks for the support, Canderous," Revan replied, electing not to mention the fact that he really hadn't intended for their trip to the Sand People enclave to end up like this. The aging Mandalorian likely wouldn't have even believed him anyway. People often didn't when it came to the multitude of things he'd accidentally pulled off.

"I can't believe you," Carth complained, having no trouble believing what had actually happened. "Do you have no self-control?"

"Not really," Revan admitted with a shrug. "And it wasn't like they played no part in their destruction. _They_ attacked _me_."

"Yeah, **after** you stole from them," Carth pointed out. "To you or me the taking of one vibroblade would not warrant being set up by everyone here but different cultures being what they are…"

"That's a remarkably open-minded attitude for someone who doesn't ever actually having any idea what I'm saying," Zaalbar said, surprised.

"What?" Carth asked blankly.

"Big Z called you a racist," Mission helpfully, albeit falsely, translated.

"But…but I'm not!" Carth protested helplessly. "And I didn't even say anything that might be misconstrued as racist…"

Mission shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. Big Z's the one that thinks so. Feel free to ask him all about it."

"It's not my fault it was so shiny," Revan insisted. "Maybe they shouldn't have polished it so much and it wouldn't have tempted me so. I DO have a rather severe case of kleptomania, you know."

"I just love it how you're blaming people that you killed for their own deaths because you stole from them and they got upset," Bastila said, rolling her eyes.

Revan smiled winningly at her. "I do try."

"Hey, what's this?" Mission asked, looking through a door she'd just opened. "I think that this is where the Sand People kept their prisoners. I vote we take a look."

"I wonder if we can kill them as well," Canderous mused aloud.

"Hear that, Carth?" Revan asked smugly. "The Sand People kept _prisoners_. Me killing them was perfectly justified."

"Not to burst your bubble or anything, Revan," Carth countered, sounding greatly amused, "but humans have prisoners, too. They're kept at prisons."

"Or in the custody of the scum of the galaxy," Zaalbar helpfully added, sounding for all the world like he was actually in the mood to talk about his personal problems. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it – Revan still didn't care and so chose not to pursue that line of questioning.

"And that's legally sanctioned," Revan disagreed. "Whereas these people have probably never even had a trial or anything."

"Can you guys keep it down?" an irritated voice called to them. "Some of us are _trying _to take a nap here and it's hard enough without you yapping with all these Jawas squeaking at each other all the time."

Mission froze. "I'd know that voice and the tendency to refer to things that sound nothing like squeaking as that anywhere…Griff!"

"Whoa," Griff said, now sounding a bit desperate. "I don't know who you're talking about. I've never heard of any Griffs. My name's Riff and I am certainly not a wanted man with debt up to his Lekku."

Mission sighed and decided that this was really a conversation that they should have face to face. She walked down the hall towards her brother's cell and stopped in front of the one that contained a blue Twi'lek frantically attempting to dig his way through the floor with his bare hands. "Hello, Riff."

"Oh, uh, hi…" Griff risked a glance up and frowned. "You look a little young to be a bounty hunter…wait…Mission?"

"And so he finally recognizes me!" Mission deadpanned.

"Oh come on, I haven't seen you in two years and last I heard you were on Taris," Griff reminded her. "You know, Taris the world that was recently reduced to rubble by the Sith Empire?"

"I know," Mission said. "I was there. I was actually escaping with the reason why he did it…"

"So since it's been ages and I was rather of the opinion that you were dead you can see why it never occurred to me that you might be here," Griff continued smoothly.

"Maybe," Mission allowed. "But I ran into Lena, Griff. She told me it was your idea to leave me behind on Taris and that she tried to buy me a ticket but _you_ talked her out of it."

"Did she now?" Griff asked, scratching behind his neck nervously. "I didn't realize you two were on such good terms…"

"That's not exactly a denial I'm hearing," Mission said, her voice colder than it was before.

"No," Griff said softly. "I guess it's not."

"But…why?" Mission asked, looking lost.

"If she starts crying then I am ripping his arms off and beating him to death with them," Zaalbar growled. "I don't care if he IS her brother."

"Oh, you know…" Griff said vaguely, looking anywhere but at his distraught sister.

"No, that's just it. I _don't_," Mission said flatly. "I was twelve, Griff, TWELVE. You left me all on my own and you promised to come back for me. You didn't, though. I blamed myself, I blamed Lena…I blamed everyone but you and now I see that I should have. Why would you abandon me?"

"I always meant to come back for you," Griff said, looking pained. "Things just…they got complicated, okay?"

"Things were always complicated," Mission said bitterly.

"I…I really was in no position to be taking care of a kid," Griff told her. "I know that I shouldn't have left but, well, things worked out, didn't it? I taught you how to survive and here you are, probably doing better than me."

"Because of Big Z," Mission managed to force out, closing her eyes tight. "If it weren't for him then I would have died ages ago and you never would have even known."

Griff had nothing to say to that and, after waiting for an answer he clearly didn't have, Mission turned and left the room. After pausing to let Griff and the Jawas out, the rest of the party did the same.

* * *

By the time Mission had calmed down Canderous was eager to start killing things again and claimed that his 'Mandalorian Senses' were telling him where to find Jagi. This was rather convenient since they realized that Jagi hadn't exactly been very specific about where he wanted Canderous to meet him. Of course, the fact he claimed that his 'Mandalorian Senses' would only work if he were blindfolded and walking backwards just made the whole thing seem much more ridiculous than it already would have but no one really felt like arguing with him at this point.

They reluctantly followed after Canderous – mostly to prevent him from getting himself killed – for about an hour when, right before reaching the top of a sand dune, the Mandalorian spun around, ripped off his blindfold, and then raced down the other side.

"JAGI!" he hollered as he did so.

"Excited query: Does this mean that we're going to get to kill something soon?" HK wondered, his eyes glowing red at the thought. Revan wondered if he should be disturbed by this but decided that since he didn't actually care then it really wasn't his problem.

"CANDEROUS!" Jagi yelled back. "I almost thought you weren't going to come. I-wait. You brought companions? Come on, Canderous, you were supposed to come alone!"

Jagi came into view once Revan reached the top of the Dunce. He was standing with two men at his side so his complaint that Canderous hadn't come alone was an odd one. Or else Jagi was totally planning on cheating.

"What, no you didn't," Canderous said, sounding confused.

"I didn't?" Jagi asked sheepishly. "Oh, well…I meant to!"

"I'm not a mind-reader, Jagi," Canderous said patiently. "And if I were supposed to come alone then why did _you_ not bother to come alone?"

"Because…um…clearly I didn't trust that you would!" Jagi replied triumphantly.

"Then why would you want to make that a condition of our fight?" Canderous asked reasonably.

"So I could demonstrate once and for all how you have no honor!" Jagi cried out.

"Okay, seriously, stop shouting because you are giving me a headache," Revan complained.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU-Hey!" Jagi cut off as Canderous shot at his feet. "What was that for?"

"You may not care what Revan thinks but he and I are tight and so if he says to stop shouting then you had better listen," Canderous said, cocking his gun menacingly. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes, Canderous," Jagi nodded quickly, unable to stop his voice from shaking.

"And we'll see just how 'honor-less' I am when I shoot you dead," Canderous continued. "If you were going to bring people, Jagi, you should have brought more than just two because I've got **six**."

"You're not going to use all of them, are you?" Jagi asked nervously. "It's so, you know, dishonorable."

"As it happens, I won't," Canderous said magnanimously. "Because, seriously, I could beat you and your backup by myself. I won't do that, either, because I don't want you to die _that_ embarrassed. Revan? HK? If you please?"

"Statement: I may need to revise my definition of love…" HK commented as he moved as fast as he was able towards Canderous.

Revan, however, paused as he considered the request. "Well…I suppose you did stop the shouting," Revan agreed finally as he, too, joined Canderous.

"You can say when to begin," Canderous invited. "If I do it you'll probably die thinking that I cheated."

"Alright," Jagi said, his face red from all this talk of the certainty of him losing. "Ready…set…go!"

Revan, Canderous, and HK fired in unison. Unsurprisingly, they were all amoral enough to end the fight then and there.

* * *

"Okay, the last four giant caves that we've checked might not have had a dragon _or_ a Star Map but you know what they say," Bastila said optimistically as they approached yet another cave. "Fifth time's the charm."

"I believe the expression is actually 'third time's a charm'," Zaalbar corrected.

"Well, yeah," Bastila admitted. "But we're on our _fifth_ try not our third so I was just modifying the phrase to fit our current situation."

"If there really is a dragon in this one then I'm a little – scratch that, a lot – concerned about how, exactly, we're going to be able to take it out," Carth spoke up.

Canderous shook his head sadly. "You're scared of one little ginormous dragon that likely at Bastila's father?"

"Frankly, yes," Carth confirmed, really not seeing what was so strange about that.

"Pathetic," Canderous declared.

"Hey, you and HK might be excited but Bastila already claimed she can't help and Revan probably won't want to so we don't even have any Jedi on our side here," Carth pointed out.

"Statement: We don't _need_ any Jedi," HK bragged.

"Who knows, Carth?" Revan said placatingly. "Maybe an easy way to kill the dragon will just manifest itself."

"Excuse me," a green Twi'lek greeted them as they neared the cave. "My name is Komad and I'm a hunter. I'm looking to kill this giant dragon nesting in this cave as he's recently killed a friend of mine named Shan and he's far too close to Anchorhead anyway. Would you care to assist me?"

"See, Carth?" Revan asked, pleased. "Sometimes things really do just work themselves out."

"…How?" Carth demanded at last. "How do you do these things?"

"It's the Force, I suppose," Revan said with a shrug. "I never really think too much about it, I'll admit."

"And thank the Force for that," Bastila murmured.

"We would love to help. What do you need us to do?" Mission inquired.

"I've set enough mines to bring down a dragon twice this one's size," Komad revealed. "But waiting here for it to come out…well, frankly that's really, really boring. Would someone go and lure some bantha right over behind the mines so as to tempt the dragon?"

"Not for nothing," Revan said slowly. "But while doing that might be annoying, it's hardly a trying task. Why do you need our help?"

"It's as you said," Komad replied easily. "Doing it myself would be annoying."

Revan shrugged. "Works for me."

Canderous tilted his head as he thought about it. "Would we get to see the _bantha_ explode?"

"That depends on how closely you put them to the mines," Komad answered.

"Right," Canderous nodded. "I'll be back."

With that he wandered off alone and, within ten minutes, returned with nearly a dozen bantha following behind him.

"Okay, you guys just stay here, alright? I know there's a dragon in there but he'll probably explode before he can eat you. If I'm lucky, you'll explode as well," Canderous told them.

"You know, that may not be the **best** thing to tell them…" Carth pointed out.

Suddenly the ground shook as the dragon rushed from its cave – and it moved pretty damn fast for such a huge creature – and raced towards the bantha. Before he got there, however, the mines began to go off.

The explosion was, needless to say, epic. Revan and Canderous were in tears by the time it was over due to the sheer badassery and HK was hoping that he wouldn't lose his memory again so he could always remember such a spectacle.

"Well that was fun," Komad declared. "I think I need to get a drink to celebrate this monumental occasion. I'll be back for my share of the treasure later so don't steal all of it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Revan agreed absently as he wandered into the cave.

"Do you see the Star Map?" Bastila called after him.

"I do," Revan confirmed. "I also see a holocron by a dead human that looks nothing like you. You want to check it out?"

"Alright," Bastila agreed, entering the cave herself. "Father!" she cried upon reaching the body. She picked up the holocron. "Mother will never get her hands on _this_. I don't know what you mean by him not looking anything like me though."

"Well…he's kind of…black," Revan said delicately.

"And what's _that _supposed to mean?" Bastila demanded, hands on her hips. "Are you racist or something?"

"It's racist to not be colorblind and to point out that a white girl does not really resemble her black father?" Revan asked, annoyed. "Besides, you're practically your mother's twin!"

"Lies and slander!" Bastila shouted. "Let's just look at the Star Map, shall we?" She walked over and opened it then took out her datapad and began copying the information down in it.

"So will we still need to go to Korriban, Manaan, AND Kashyyyk?" Revan asked her. "Or do you think we might be able to piece together whatever it is that we're looking for without doing so?"

"No, we'll definitely need to go to all of them," Bastila decreed. "It wouldn't do to not be thorough, I…is that blaster fire?"

"Probably," Revan agreed. "But what were you saying?"

"Shouldn't we go check it out?" Bastila pressed.

"We can when you finish," Revan replied. "It's not like Mission, Zaalbar, Carth, Canderous, and HK can't handle themselves."

"If you say so," Bastila said dubiously, quickly finishing her map and heading towards the sounds of combat. Before she could reach it, the noises stopped and she sped up to find her companions standing over several bodies that weren't there when she and Revan had gone into the cave.

"Hey, is that Calo Nord?" Revan asked curiously as he came up from behind her. "Didn't he get killed by a ceiling back on Taris?"

"Evidently not," Canderous remarked. "He never freaking dies. Trust me, I've tried dozens of times and it never sticks."

"Try cutting his head off," Mission advised. "And if that doesn't work then at least you're next reunion will be amusing."

"Good idea," Canderous said, looking at Mission with new respect in his eyes. "Anybody have a vibroblade?"

* * *

"So did you find the holocron?" Helena Shan asked once Bastila and Revan – who honestly wasn't sure why he was even there – had returned to her in the Cantina.

"I did," Bastila nodded. "But it's mine and you can't have it!"

"Truly, she's come so far since she was four and the Jedi took her," Helena said sardonically. "But tell me, dear, if you had no intention of giving it to me then why in the world did you even come here? To rub my face in it?"

"Yes," Bastila replied promptly.

"Is that really the Jedi way?" Revan asked pointedly.

"I-" Bastila started to say but was cut off by her mother's coughing fit.

Helena quickly pulled out a handkerchief and coughed into that. When she pulled away, it was red.

"Is that…" Bastila's eyes widened. "Blood? Are you sick or something, Mother?"

"YES," Helena said loudly. "Haven't you been listening?"

"I didn't believe you," Bastila confessed. "But since you clearly _are_ sick then all is forgiven. Here, take these 500 credits and go get your treatment."

"Thank you Bastila," Helena said, stunned. "That's more than I ever…you can keep the holocron."

"I was planning on it," Bastila said simply.

As Revan watched Helena leave he turned to Bastila, "Oh, that was touching. Now, about that 500 credits…I can't believe you've been holding out on me!"

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	16. Some Disguise That Was

Chapter Sixteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Bastila and Revan made their way into the cockpit to find Carth slowly approaching a planet.

"Not for nothing, Carth, but weren't we supposed to be heading to Kashyyyk?" Revan wondered aloud. "This is Korriban."

"You've been to Korriban?" Carth asked suspiciously. "But that's a Sith planet!"

"It's always been a Sith planet," Revan said dismissively. "The Academy is relatively new, though. And of course I've been there. I've gone to plenty of planets in my time. As it happens, I've been to Tatooine, Kashyyyk, and Manaan, too."

"All of the Star Map planets?" Carth asked impressed. "Did you hear anything about the Star Maps?"

"The people living on the planets really don't know much about them," Revan replied. "It's hardly surprising. The Tatooine one was in a dragon-infested cave, the Manaan one is deep underwater, the Kashyyyk one is at the bottom of the forest floor and the Wookies tend to dwell _in_ the trees and not below them, and the Korriban one is in Naga Sadow's tomb. Well, I heard he was actually buried on Yavin 4 but he had a tomb built on Korriban before he died."

Bastila choked.

Revan gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay? You know your health is very important to me."

"I-I'm fine," Bastila lied. "I just…that's oddly specific."

"Is it?" Revan asked absently. "So why are we on Korriban instead of Kashyyyk, Carth?"

"Mission came by and convinced me that Zaalbar didn't want to go home just yet and I wanted to go to Korriban to find Dustil anyway so I decided to ignore what you guys wanted and to come here instead," Carth announced.

"And when were you planning on _telling_ us any of this?" Bastila demanded.

"Never, actually," Carth responded. " I figured you'd realize what I'd done sooner or later so why bother mentioning it?"

"You sound like Revan," Bastila accused.

Carth drew back, horrified. "I do not! Take that back!"

"You're right, that was uncalled for," Bastila apologized. "I'm sorry."

"You know, I'm standing _right here_," Revan said, annoyed.

Bastila and Carth exchanged glances. "We know," they chorused.

"Just checking," Revan replied.

"So we're going to be on Korriban soon," Bastila mused. "This is not good. There may have been a Sith present on other worlds we've been to – especially so in Taris' case with the occupation – but we haven't been to any other Sith strongholds and there's a good chance that I'll be recognized. I should probably stay here to make sure no one recognizes me and blows our cover. Plus, if I get captured then the Republic will lose the only reason we haven't lost yet and if, Force forbid, I fall then the Republic will be done for. We really can't afford to take this risk."

"Those are some very valid points, Bastila," Carth assured her. "On the other hand…do you _really_ want to leave Revan alone with only me to try and counter Canderous, Mission, HK, and Zaalbar's influence?"

Bastila winced. "You know, on second thought I'm sure that it will be fine. I mean, the Sith probably won't be looking for me on Korriban anyway…"

* * *

"You know what I love about being a Sith?" a man was asking rhetorically as the entire crew of the Ebon Hawk approached. "I can do whatever I feel like to those with a lower position than me and that includes you three Academy hopefuls."

The three wannabe students trembled.

"Please, please let us be students!" one of them begged.

The Sith lazily threw out his arm and sent a jolt of lightning dancing her way. "Now, now," he said mockingly as she screamed. "Sith don't say 'please.'" He spotted Revan. "Hey, you. I want to torture these worms but I'm kind of coming up short on ideas."

"And so you're asking random passers-by?" Mission asked incredulously. "Lame."

"Maybe it's not such a good idea to antagonize Sith on a Stih planet," Zaalbar suggested.

"You worry too much," Mission said dismissively. "If nothing else, Carth and Bastila would defend me because it's the 'right thing to do', would do it because you love me, and Canderous and HK would do it so that they could kill someone."

"She's right," Canderous agreed. "I would protect her so I could get a chance to kill someone. I don't think he's all that insulted, though. Try insulting his mother."

"Please," the Sith laughed. "I'm a _Sith_. Say what you will. And I don't need your advice, I'm just trying to make a bigger production of this."

T3 beeped at him.

"Awed statement: Oh, that sounds positively _nasty_," HK remarked, gazing down at T3 with newfound respect.

"I recommend just letting them go," Revan answered.

Bastila looked hopefully at him. "You do?"

"Why should I do that?" the Sith demanded. "Don't tell me you're one of those bleeding hearts that came to Korriban to try and 'save' us. The kind that can be salvaged usually don't last too long here."

"Oh, no," Revan assured him with a shake of his head. "It's just that all of this sounds like far too much of a bother and so if I were you I'd just let them wander off somewhere to be somebody else's problem."

"You're right," the Sith realized. "These pathetic worms aren't even worth my time! I will not demean myself by destroying them. I really have better things to worry about. Thank you for helping me get my priorities in order." With that, he turned on his heel and walked off.

"So please is out but thank you is in?" Carth asked, unimpressed. "Sith…"

"Thank you so much!" the woman who had spoken up earlier said earnestly. "If this is what being a Sith is like…well, frankly I'm just not interested."

"But how else are we supposed to train our Force powers?" another one asked despondently. "I want to be able to do more than just party tricks."

"You could try seeking out the Jedi," Bastila suggested. "Normally they don't accept adults that don't happen to be named Revan for training but if you tell them that you're a redeemed Sith they'll let you right in, no questions asked."

"How did we lose to you people?" Canderous wondered as the would-be Sith nodded their thanks and ran off.

"Pointed answer: My Master Revan is the single most amazing being to ever grace the galaxy," HK replied.

"Did somebody say 'Revan'?" a passing Twi'lek asked interestedly.

"I'm Revan," Revan introduced. "Why do you ask?"

The Twi'lek's eyes widened dramatically. "My word…it really is you! I thought you were dead!"

Revan shrugged. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

"But where are my manners? Just because I'm a Sith is no reason not to be polite. I am Yuthura Ban and I'm in the second-in-command of the Sith Academy," Yuthura introduced. "How may I help you?"

"I'm looking for a way into the tomb of Naga Sadow," Revan revealed. "Any idea how I can do that?"

"I apologize but that tomb is off-limits except during the graduation exam our students go through," Yuthura said, looking very sorry and slightly terrified.

"Can we become students then?" Carth asked her.

Yuthura shot him a disdainful look. "_You_ certainly can't. Your Force powers are, frankly, negligible."

Carth looked pointedly at Revan, who sighed.

"Can I become a student?" he asked reluctantly.

Yuthura's eyebrows shot up. "You, becoming a student? It would be so very irregular…then again, I'm not nearly suicidal to refuse you twice…why not?" She reached up to remove the medallion she was wearing on her neck and handed it to him. "Just go up to the school and show the guards your medallion and you'll be let in."

* * *

Revan had just handed the guard his medallion and was about to go in when he realized that Bastila and Carth had stopped to talk to a couple of people waiting outside the entrance.

"I can't…leave," one was saying. "Mekel said that if we stood here long enough then we'd get to be Sith."

"And how long is 'long enough'?" Carth demanded. "Until you die? Your friend died and no one's admitted _him_."

"Well…he really wasn't very specific on that," the other said. "But I'm sure I can do this."

"Guys, what are you doing?" Revan demanded. "Let's just go in."

"We can't just leave these poor people here," Bastila said indignantly.

"Sometimes you have to thin the herd," Canderous claimed. "People this gullible really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce and if they stand here until they die then we can rest assured that they never will."

"Uncertain statement: Death is always a good thing but this seems like such a…weak way to go about it. We should just shoot theme," HK declared.

T3 beeped at him.

"Agreement: That is a very good point. There's no way a quick bullet to the head would generate this much suffering," HK said approvingly.

"Revan, don't take this the wrong way but now _both_ of your droids are creeping me out," Carth said with a slight shudder.

Revan frowned at him. "That's not very nice, Carth. T3 is just trying to cheer HK up. If you guys really aren't leaving until these idiots do or at least die then I suppose you leave me with no choice." He walked over to the two surviving hopefuls and stared them both in the eye. "Mekel is lying to you and he thinks it's funny to see if you'll stand here until you die. Go home and reflect on whether your life is truly so pointless that you'd be willing to throw it away for Mekel's amusement."

"I've been such a fool!" one of them cried out.

"Let's go get some rest and something to eat before we collapse," the other agreed. Together, they made their way back to the Korriban colony of Dreshdae.

"Can we go in now?" Mission asked. "Standing here chatting over a dead body no one cares about is kind of morbid."

"You could move it yourself," Zaalbar pointed out.

"And so could you," Mission countered. "But, again, _no one_ cares and we are a part of no one."

Revan entered the Academy and found a tall human lecturing a small group with Yuthura standing beside him. That seemed like a pretty good indication that he was initiating the newcomers.

"Remember, though the Jedi may call us 'evil' it is only to cover the fact that they cling to weakness while we drive it out," the man lectured. "Embrace the dark side fully and you'll do fine here." He spotted Revan approaching. "And who is this? I sense a lot of darkness in your heart as well as even more apathy. You could do well here if you had the proper motivation…"

"Story of my life," Revan yawned. "Who are you, anyway?"

"I am the Master of the Academy, Uthar Wynn," he introduced. "I recognize you, of course, Revan. I was under the impression that you were dead but since you and Malak went your separate ways I guess you just couldn't be bothered to make your presence known. Well, we all have our quirks. I am curious, however, just why you have Bastila Shan standing beside you."

"Don't be silly," Revan told him easily. "Do you really think the Republic's Only Hope would be so stupid as to follow me to a Sith Academy?"

"Point…" Uthar admitted. "So she's just a look-alike then? I've heard those have been getting very popular lately…"

Bastila looked horrified but managed to stop herself from saying anything in reply to that.

"It's a little strange that you decided to be a student here but since this wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for you then why not?" Uthar asked rhetorically. "If you really want the normal student experience then you'll need to gain prestige just like everyone else. Whoever gains what I deem to be sufficient prestige the fastest will get in. The rest of you I don't care if you live or die. You'll have to come up with ways to earn prestige on your own but I'll get you started. Find out and recite to me the Sith Code and you'll win some prestige."

"Peace is a lie. There is only Passion. Through passion, I gain Strength. Through strength, I gain Power. Through power, I gain Victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me," Revan recited promptly.

"Very good," Uthar said, pleased. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, all things considered…for all of you who _aren't_ Revan, I hope you realize just what you're up against. You may go now."

The other students muttered angrily under their breath and glared at Revan as they left.

"I'll take you to your room," Yuthura volunteered. "You can keep your collection of slaves, of course, and we're not about to tell you how to manage them but keep in mind that if they cause any problems then that's on you."

"That's thoughtful," Revan said brightly as he started to follow her.

"_Slave_?" Zaalbar hissed.

"It's the only way we can be here," Mission whispered to him. "I understand why you'd have a problem with this but you'll need to wait back in Dreshdae if you can't go along with this."

"I will, for now," Zaalbar decided reluctantly. "But I will look forward to crushing her bigoted slaving head at some point."

"Remember, she's evil," Mission told him. "And that means she's going to go assuming things like that. We need to keep our cover, though."

"You sure know some interesting people," Carth remarked, shaking his head. "And many of them are evil. This Uthar guy even said that he wouldn't be running this Academy if it weren't for you…Is there something you're not telling me, Revan?"

"There are a great many things I haven't told you, Carth," Revan replied solemnly. "For instance, did you know that I'm allergic to gizka?"

"Really? Is that why you had Czerka remove the ones that they put on our ship?" Carth asked interestedly.

"No, that was just because they were sure to be annoying," Revan replied. "Although I suppose that it also had the added benefit of removing something that was sure to give me an allergic reaction. Also, I think masks and hoods are extremely tacky but I was forced to wear one for a while because revealing my identity would have been a pain."

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Carth said, touched. "I see now that I was wrong to be suspicious of you."

Canderous snorted. "We'll just see how long **that** lasts."

"Okay, here's your room," Yuthura said, stopping in front of a door. "You can feel free to settle in in a minute but first I'd like to speak to you privately, Revan."

Revan shrugged and followed Yuthura over to a few feet away while everyone else headed into Revan's room.

"As you're surely aware, the way of the Sith is for the apprentice to kill the Master," Yuthura began.

"I did hear a rumor about that," Revan replied dryly.

"I'm really feeling good about my chances of killing Master Uthar and I can tell that my time is drawing near," Yuthura continued. "But then, well, you showed up."

"I honestly don't care if you kill Uthar or not," Revan told her bluntly.

"I know but we all thought you were dead and now you're not…and Malak _did_ hit you with the Leviathan…You may be Revan but at some point you'd expect something to actually kill you. I know that Master Uthar isn't anywhere near as incredible as you are but I don't want to think I killed him and take his place only to have him show up in a few months pissed that I usurped his position without even having the decency to kill him first," Yuthura explained.

"What are you asking?" Revan asked carefully.

"When we go into Naga Sadow's tomb for your final exam I want you to help me kill Master Uthar," Yuthura declared dramatically.

"Why should I?" Revan asked, frowning.

"Because if you don't then Uthar will just have you kill me and at least I have the decency to ask?" Yuthura asked hopefully.

Revan shrugged. "I don't even care. Tell you what, if it does come down to a situation where I have to kill one of you I'll pick your side. Although, seriously, having to kill either the man in charge or the second in command seems like a really bizarre graduation test."

"Oh, this would only be **after** you passed the test," Yuthura corrected.

"That makes it even weirder. If I can kill one of you why do I need to do the test?" Revan demanded.

"I don't know, it's Master Uthar's rules," Yuthura told him. "If _I_ were in charge I might change things so that they made more sense…"

"I get the picture," Revan told her. "Still, having the recent graduate killing one of the top two people…is that really a reasonable expectation?"

"For most people, no," Yuthura conceded. "On the other hand…Revan!"

"Sometimes I wonder why I bothered with that cloak and mask…" Revan muttered, heading back to find his companions.

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	17. The Jedi Are Evil!

Chapter Seventeen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: So after last chapter people seem to think that Revan remembers everything but just can't be bothered to tell anyone. Well let me ask you something: does that _really _sound like something Revan would do? :P

As Revan and his companions set off from their room – which was really, really too small for all of them and so with any luck they'd be able to finish up here without too much difficulty – they walked past a man who was looking quite tragic. Revan, naturally, was disinclined to care but Bastila made them stop.

"Excuse me," she said, "but are you aright?"

The man looked up. "What? Oh, I'm fine. Absolutely fine. Couldn't be better. And let me tell you that I, Kel Algwinn, am most certainly _not_ having doubts about my decision to be a Sith or moral qualms about the kinds of things I'm expected to do in order to just gain entrance to the Academy and which I'm really starting to suspect would only be the tip of the iceberg."

"Good to know," Revan said, attempting to move on. Bastila's hand shot out to grab his wrist and he stopped immediately.

"Are you sure?" Carth asked skeptically. "I mean, that sounds oddly specific."

Canderous rolled his eyes. "Of course he's sure. And if he's not then he needs to fake it until he makes it just like everybody else."

"Agreement: Yes, doing otherwise would probably get him killed and while I am usually all for that, I don't see much of a point if I'm not going to be the one doing the killing," HK agreed.

Kel bit his lip. "Yes, of course I…oh, who am I trying to kid?" he cried out dramatically.

"Oh, here we go…" Mission muttered.

"I don't really think I belong here," Kel explained hurriedly. "I'm not saying that I'm an obsessive moralist or anything but I do have a distinct problem with murdering babies and the things that I've seen in the week or so since I've been here…well, many people here _don't_."

"How has no one noticed how ill-suited this guy is to join the Sith?" Zaalbar wondered. "Are they really all as apathetic as Revan? And where did he even get a medallion from, anyway?"

"But I really want to learn how to use the Force and if the Sith don't teach me then who will?" Kel asked, anguished.

"Keep in mind that I don't actually care about your problems," Revan began, "but are you aware that there is a group of Force users out there that are also vehemently opposed to baby murdering called 'the Jedi'?"

Kel frowned. "You know, I have heard about them. Don't they refuse to train people over the age of five?"

"Normally, yes," Bastila admitted. "But just tell them that you're a redeemed Sith and they'll get you set up right away."

"So wait…" Kel said slowly. "Anyone over the age of five is out because they might be too worldly or full of anger or fear but someone who used to be a Sith and who embraced all of their darker desires is welcomed with open arms?"

"Yeah, the Jedi are a little…odd," Carth conceded. "Still, if it gets you your training then I recommend just going with it."

"Well, we don't want people already trained in the Force to stay evil so we have to try and work with them," Bastila tried to explain unconvincingly.

"Yes, and those evil six-year-olds are just beyond hope," Mission deadpanned.

T3 beeped his agreement.

Kel shrugged. "Join the Jedi, huh? Sounds like a plan. Thank you so much for this. Although if you don't mind me saying so, I think most of you are unsuited to being Sith yourself so you should really think about following your own advice."

Bastila and Carth exchanged glances.

"We'll think about it," Carth said, managing to keep a straight face.

"Well, I should go," Kel told them. "Now that I've defected, my life is even more forfeit than it was before. The hidden Jedi enclave is on Dantooine, right?"

Bastila started. "How…how did you know that?"

Kel shrugged again. "Doesn't everyone know about that?" With that, he quickly began packing.

"I'm getting a really bad feeling about this…" Bastila said uneasily.

"I'm sure that they'll be fine," Revan attempted to comfort her half-heartedly. "Can we go now?"

"One moment," Carth said, holding up a hand. "Hey, Kel? Do you know anyone named Dustil?"

Kel looked up from his packing. "Dustil? Of course. His room is at the end of the hall. He's a real student here but he's just about the only one I know that hasn't actually threatened to kill me." He paused as something occurred to him. "You know, maybe _he_ shouldn't be here either! Someone should really tell him all about these 'Jedi.'"

"We'll take care of it," Carth promised. "Good luck getting out of here alive."

The group left and almost ran into a blonde woman with short hair that had been at the orientation they had only caught the tail end of.

"Where is that idiot Mekel?" she was muttering to herself as she paced. "Whatever, I don't have time to wait for him. Hey, you!"

"Yes?" Revan asked warily.

"My name's Lashowe and I'm another one of the initiates trying to gain prestige," Lashowe introduced. "I found an ancient Sith holocron and was going to take it to Master Uthar but a Tuk'ata ate it and so I asked Mekel to aid me in killing it and its pack but he's taking too long so would you like to help me instead? We could split the prestige."

Revan stared at her. "Not for nothing, but isn't the more Sith-like thing to do killing me the minute the Tuk'ata is dead?"

Lashowe shrugged. "You've got me there. How about you aid me in taking the holocron and then one of us attempts to kill the other? I'm sure that the fact that I'm by myself and you have two droids, a Twi'lek, a Wookie, a Mandalorian, a soldier, and someone who also happens to have a lightsaber with you means that I can't lose."

"…If you say so," Revan said, shaking his head at her blatant stupidity and wondering why she apparently just watched a Tuk'ata eat the holocron. "Where should I meet you?"

"I'll be at the Valley of the Dark Lords," Lashowe answered. "Don't make me wait too long or I'll find someone else." With that, she turned to go.

"You know, this whole prestige system makes no sense," Canderous complained. "On the one hand, only letting in the best and even having some of the weaker killed off is a sound move but only letting one person from every attempt in? What if one group contains five weaklings and a second one just happens to contain five people who are twice as strong as the average student? You lose four extremely promising students and have to accept a weakling who probably couldn't handle the Academy anyway."

Carth shrugged. "The Sith aren't any brighter than the Jedi, really."

"Hey!" Bastila protested.

"Come on, I think Kel said this next room is Dustil's," Carth said, walking quickly towards the room at the end and barged right in.

"Hey, can't you knock?" a young man who strongly resembled Carth demanded, irritated. "Wait…Dad? Why are you here?"

"Dustil," Carth said his name as if it were a benediction. "I never thought I would see you again."

"Me either," Dustil agreed. "In fact, I was rather hoping for it. Hint hint."

"What are you even doing here?" Carth demanded.

"I'm learning how to be a Sith," Dustil replied, rolling his eyes. "Duh."

"But…but the Sith are evil!" Carth protested.

"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil," Dustil countered, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Okay, I get that we may engage in some morally suspect practices at some points," Bastila conceded, pointedly not looking at Revan. "But we're not the ones who will raze an entire planet to kill one person, encourage killing your fellow students to get in here, talk about how mercy and compassion are weaknesses, have a master and apprentice relationship designed to end when one kills the other, tortures people into switching sides, believe in torturing people for their own personal amusement, value strength above any kind of morality, don't believe in caring about others, regularly use or kill the loved ones of their allies and enemies to get what they want, regularly-"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Dustil looked annoyed. "But do you know what they _didn't_ do? They didn't totally abandon my mother and I while my planet was under attack!"

"Yeah, you know why that was, Dustil?" Carth demanded. "Because they were the ones attacking everyone! You're upset that I wasn't there when your mother died – and I was, by the way, I held her as she died – and didn't find you? Fine. But don't you dare tell me that your new Sith friends aren't the ones to blame for what happened since they were the ones who killed your mother, they were the ones who kept me busy elsewhere fighting, they were the ones who hurt you…all because one defector from the Republic wanted to 'prove his loyalty' by attacking his home planet!"

"…You may have a point," Dustil admitted. "Actually, that's a damn good point. The Sith _were_ the ones to kill my mother no matter where you were. And they do have a torture chamber right down the hall. And they really don't bat an eye if you randomly kill a passer-by...maybe I should get out of here. Do you think the secret Jedi enclave at Dantooine will take me in?"

Bastila groaned. "Seriously? Someone _else_ who knows?"

"Lord Malak trained there for a while as did Lord Revan," Dustil explained, nodding Revan's way. "Of course we all know about it."

"One would think that the Jedi would have realized that if Malak had been to Dantooine before that he knew they were there," Zaalbar remarked.

"So you'll leave?" Carth asked hopefully. "Good, I don't think my poor heart could take having a son that was also a Sith."

"I will," Dustil promised. "But first I've got to talk my friends into coming with me. Just give me a few hours and I'll be out of your hair. I may even be willing to sit down for a nice talk in which I rant at you for not being there when mother died while you try and explain yourself while I don't care and afterwards we can try to have a real relationship."

"Sounds like a plan," Carth said, grinning broadly. Dustil slipped him a way to contact him before wandering off to go find his friends.

"Wow…despite the fact that Dustil was a freaking _Sith_ I think that that went better than my family reunion did," Mission said, stunned.

* * *

"Finally!" Lashowe exclaimed. "I've been waiting for at least twenty minutes! I summoned the Tuk'ata when I saw you approach and so it should be here any minute…oh, there it is."

Instead of just one Tuk'ata there was the one giant one and several small ones. Lashowe just stood by and allowed Revan and company to dispatch of them and then the minute the fighting was over, she deftly sliced open the Tuk'ata and pulled out the holocron.

"Excellent," she beamed. "Now, to kill you so I can get all the prest-" She was cut off as HK shot her in the head.

"Lecture: Kill first, brag and mock later," HK sniffed.

"So now what should we do?" Revan wondered.

"Let's go explore the other tombs that we _can _get into," Mission suggested. "We might find some cool stuff there or at least another way to gain prestige."

"Fine…" Revan sighed. He looked at the one closest to them. "I suppose we can start there."

* * *

"Stay back or we'll kill you!" a human woman said bravely. Her two Twi'lek companions nodded firmly.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Zaalbar wondered.

"You…you mean you don't know?" the woman asked, shocked.

"Wait…so they can understand Zaalbar and I can't?" Carth demanded. "My life sucks."

"It's not our fault you're an unrepentant racist, Carth," Mission told him virtuously.

"My name is Thalia May," she introduced. "And my companions and I weren't able to bring ourselves to murder some orphans at the Dreshdae colony and so Master Uthar wants us dead. Not badly enough to do it himself or to have any one come after us even though we're sure he knows where we are but he would sincerely like us all to die for this."

"So you're just going to stay here until you do die?" Canderous asked, surprised and disapproving. "Lame."

"Well what else are we supposed to do?" Thalia demanded, her hands on her hips. We could escape the caves and get off-world but there's a giant terentatek guarding the passage and we're not suicidal."

"We apparently are as we killed that thing fifteen minutes ago," Revan announced.

Thalia's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Really? So we could actually get out of here?"

Revan shrugged. "I honestly don't give a damn."

"Maybe the Jedi will accept us," Thalia said slowly. "I don't know that they will but we've got to try!"

"Oh, they will," Bastila assured her. "Just mention the whole 'redeemed Sith' thing and you won't have any problems."

"It's off to Dantooine for us, then," Thalia said cheerfully. "Thanks again for all your help and feel free to tell Master Uthar that you killed us."

Bastila walked over to the wall of the cave and began to bang her head on it.

* * *

Revan stopped as everyone but HK and T3 slumped over unconscious. That was strange. Maybe the strange green gas had something to do with everyone getting knocked out.

A crazed-looking old man soon came to collect the bodies and started to see Revan standing there looking annoyed. "Why aren't you knocked out?"

Revan shrugged. "Damned if I know. I'm just that awesome, I guess. Now who are you?"

"My name is Jorak Uln," Jorak said proudly. "This used to be my school before Uthar banished me here after he met those two crazy Sith kids."

"So you are Uthar's master who he failed to kill like he was supposed to," Revan said, shaking his head sadly. "Why does no one do things properly anymore? I mean, I suppose I'm not one to talk but in my defense, I haven't seen Kae since before I left the Order…"

"Kids these days," Jorak agreed. "I stabbed my master forty-seven times just to make sure he was dead, you know. I _was_ going to have you wake up in my lair and force you to prove your worth as a Sith or else I'd use Force Lightning on you but since you didn't pass out from the gas like you were supposed to and seem to have some of the same pet peeves that I do, how about I do that with your friend who has a lightsaber instead?"

Revan shrugged. "I really can't do anything until they wake up anyway so why not?"

Jorak waved his hand and levitated the bodies of Revan's companions into the next room where a groggy looking man wearing a Sith uniform was standing frozen from the neck down by Jorak. "This is Mekel," Jorak introduced. "One of your fellow students. Knows nothing about the Sith and is a huge disgrace, too. I was going to kill him outright but then I saw you guys coming and decided to try something a little different."

Within a few minutes, they unconscious people began to stir.

"What's going on?" Bastila demanded. "Why can't we move? Why can Revan?"

"You're going to prove whether you deserve to be Sith," Jorak explained. "Revan already proved himself so now it's your turn. I'm going to ask you some questions. Get them right and I torture Mekel. Get them wrong and I torture you. Whoever is still alive gets to go. I really don't think poor Mekel can take very much more torture at this point."

"You're sick!" Bastila accused. "I would ask why Revan isn't doing anything when he clearly can but at this point I _really_ don't want to hear some variation on the theme of 'I couldn't be bothered' and at least hope that if we were going to be killed while unconscious that he would have stepped in."

Revan decided not to answer that.

Jorak shrugged. "We all have our faults. First question: There is another Sith that you have the opportunity to kill and take the position of. He's a fine leader and good for the Sith. What do you do."

"I kill him because I don't want the Sith to have good leadership and it's my duty as a Jedi to kill Sith," Bastila answered.

Jorak threw out his hand and shocked her. "Wrong answer. You're supposed to kill him and take his position."

"Thus weakening the Sith as a whole?" Canderous demanded. "That sounds like faulty logic that would keep the Sith fractured and weak. I suppose that if he really is so inept that you can kill him than he wouldn't be around for very long to be a visionary anyway…"

"Exactly," Jorak nodded. "Besides, you're evil so you're not supposed to be focused on the long-term consequences of your actions here. Now, a group of innocent people are being attacked. They offer you a reward to help them. What do you do?"

Bastila steeled herself as she responded, "I refuse their offer of a reward and help them anyway as that is the Jedi way."

Jorak shocked her again. "Wrong! I'm really starting to think you may not be very committed to the Sith mentality. You're supposed to accept the reward and then leave them to their fate. You discover knowledge that can be used to strengthen the Sith as a whole. Do you share this knowledge or keep it to yourself?"

"I destroy this knowledge as I cannot possibly be fine with strengthening the Sith," Bastila said defiantly. "And depending on what the knowledge is, I may share it with the Jedi."

Jorak unleashed yet more Sith lightning. "You know, even Mekel got that one right. You have an apprentice who has been very loyal and competent over the years but he has made a serious error in judgment and the mistake costs you. What do you do?"

"I kill him because he is a Sith," Bastila told him. "Presuming that I can't use his loyalty to talk him into joining the Jedi, of course."

Jorak didn't even say anything as he shocked her yet again. Revan was actually starting to get a little worried but surely there couldn't be too many more questions that Bastila refused to play along with him for, right? "Final question: you are about to die. Do you pass on your knowledge to your apprentice or do you let it die with you?"

"I pass my knowledge that isn't too evil on to the Jedi, allow the rest to die with me, and then kill all the Sith I can," Bastila replied promptly.

One last burst of Force lightning hit her and Jorak waved his hand at Mekel, freeing him. "You can go, I suppose. Upon seeing how much she failed at being a Sith, you really aren't so bad."

"Or…or I can free her and then we can kill you together!" Mekel said, waving his hand at Bastila and freeing her.

They both looked to be in pretty bad shape and so Revan honestly wasn't sure if they could take Jorak on. He felt…Watching Bastila get tortured like that wasn't easy like it was supposed to be. It made him all tense and unhappy. He wasn't quite sure why that was but he wasn't about to risk Jorak hurting her more.

"You call that Force lightning?" he asked quietly. He threw out his own hand and watched the lightning dance towards Jorak. It didn't take long at all before, twitching, Jorak expired.

"Thank you," Mekel said shakily, looking at Bastila uncertainly. "You had to have known what the right answers were and yet you purposely baited him…to save me."

"I knew that I could survive it and you couldn't," Bastila replied simply. "It was the right thing to do."

"I never thought I'd see the day that someone I didn't even know would allow themselves to be tortured to save me," Mekel said softly. "I've done some bad things, some _horrible_ things and I don't deserve this. Maybe the Sith aren't the place for me, after all. I don't think the Jedi are, either, but I should probably get out of here. Thank you."

As he turned to go, Bastila glanced over at Revan. There was no accusation in her eyes and that sort of made it worse.

"Bastila…" Revan said hesitantly, not really knowing what to say.

"I know," she said quietly.

She seemed to forgive him but, strangely enough, Revan was the one having difficult forgiving himself. He wouldn't just stand by next time.

Review Please!


	18. Why Do You Bother?

Chapter Eighteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: So everyone seemed pretty thrilled/horrified by Revan actually showing some concern about someone besides himself. Keep in mind, however, that this wasn't just anybody, it's the girl he wants to end up with. How, exactly, he could ever get anywhere near a relationship with her if he didn't care that he was watching her get tortured is beyond me and full of a ton of unfortunate implications. Had it been literally anybody else, he'd have been much less concerned. :P

"You can't go in there," a Sith student said as Revan and the others attempted to enter the tomb of Marka Ragnos.

"Why not?" Mission asked.

"Because there's a crazy assassination droid in there and it will probably kill you," the student explained.

"Startled declaration: A crazy assassin droid? Master, we absolutely must go in there right now!" HK exclaimed excitedly.

"What kind of Sith tries to warn people off from getting killed?" Zaalbar demanded.

"It's not like I particularly care if individuals die off," the student explained. "But we're fighting a war here and we're also doing everything we can to decrease our numbers. I'm just uncertain that, even with the seemingly endless supply of ships, weapon, and armor, we can sustain our fighting force with such a blatant disregard for the lives of our own people."

"Wow, that actually made sense," Carth said, sounding awed and a bit frightened.

"I try," the student said wryly.

T3 beeped at them.

Revan nodded. "T3's right. It doesn't really matter how bad an idea this is as HK wants to go and he'll probably try to kill you all if we don't."

"He won't try to kill you?" Bastila asked, surprised.

Revan shook his head. "He can't. I'm his master so if he kills me then he deactivates. I was a little concerned about the safety of having a bloodthirsty assassin droid so I made sure it was in his best interest to keep me alive."

"Sensible," Canderous approved. "Of course, HK wouldn't kill me, either. We're tight."

"Agreement: Of course not. Everyone else who doesn't also happen to be my master, however…" HK just let that unspoken threat hang there.

The group exchanged looks. Looked like they were going in anyway.

"I can see you're not going to listen to reason but at least I can say that I tried," the student said, walking off.

"Not particularly hard," Canderous said with a snort.

"Unexpected defense: Clearly she realizes just how unlikely it is that not doing this would end well for them," HK argued.

* * *

"For the love of all that is good in the world can you _please_ stop being so noisy?" the droid in front of them pleaded.

Carth looked confused. "We're…to noisy for you? We were just walking-"

"You were stampeding, you mean," the droid corrected. "And now you're shouting at me."

"Yeah, we're really not," Mission insisted.

Revan cocked his head. "Unless I miss my guess, he has an oversensitivity to noise."

"Of course I do," the droid seemed surprised that he even had to voice this as a theory. "Didn't someone tell you about that?"

"Honestly, we're just lucky that we actually learned that you were even in here before we came," Zaalbar revealed.

"So, what?" the droid asked skeptically. "You were just going around exploring all of these tombs?"

"Pretty much," Revan confirmed. "I wonder if se have enough prestige by now."

"Probably," Bastila replied dryly, "unless the other students have claimed credit."

T3 beeped something.

"Really? There's only actually one other potential student who we haven't killed or otherwise gotten to leave?" Revan asked, surprised. "Our competition kind of sucks."

"Look, I hate to interrupt and I'm sure that the others really were substandard," the droid told them earnestly, "but I'm feeling the uncontrollable urge to kill you all right now and only part of it is because of the unbearable noise levels."

Instantly, every had their weapon out and pointed the droid's way.

"Passionate plea: Marry me!" HK begged.

"I don't mean that I _want_ to kill you," the droid hastily explained.

"Disappointed murmur: I always get my hopes up only to see them crashing down…" HK sighed.

"Not for nothing but if you don't want to kill us then why did you say that you have an uncontrollable urge to do just that?" Mission asked sensibly.

"Because I do," the droid replied promptly.

"Could you…elaborate?" suggested Carth.

"Oh, right. Well, I'm an assassin droid that has been built by the Sith to assassinate Jedi," the droid told them. "The problem was, they were stupid enough to make me too intelligent for their purposes. And to completely screw up my auditory perception. To make a long story short, I did some soul searching and have come to the conclusion that I don't want to hurt anybody."

"Anguished cry: I never knew that the world could be so cruel! Master, why have you brought me into such a horrible place?" HK burst out.

Revan patted him on the back half-heartedly and decided not to mention the fact that HK himself had threatened to kill Carth, Bastila, Mission, Zaalbar, and possibly T3 if they didn't come. "There, there."

"All of this is very…admirable," Bastila said, pointedly ignoring Revan and HK's theatrics. "But why, exactly, are you having difficulties with your choice not to hurt people?"

"My programming is strong," the droid admitted. "Until someone either destroys me or deletes my assassination protocol than I will always be a threat to innocent people. That's why I've come here."

"Firm statement: Master, to remove one's assassination protocol _is_ to destroy them. Do not walk down that low road. It is a mockery of life!" HK insisted.

Revan smiled a little apologetically at HK. "Sorry but simply destroying him sounds like a waste when I could have more fun trying to figure out his programming."

As Revan approached the grateful assassin droid and began to examine its circuitry, Carth sighed and shook his head. "Is it just me or does Revan care more about droids than he does about people?"

Zaalbar laughed. "You're _just_ noticing this now?"

Carth looked to Mission for a translation although one would think he'd know better by now. "Big Z says that droids are people, too, and that he's appalled at the depth of your racism," she loosely translated.

"I know I don't speak your language but I think all of this hostility that you've been giving me since the beginning is really kind of uncalled for," Carth said seriously.

"Let's see…" Revan murmured. "Shutting off the Combat Matrix, Motor Function Matrix, Sensory System Matrix, Memory Matrix, Cognitive Systems, Emotional Construct Matrix, Creative Simulation Matrix, and now I'm at the Core…"

"Hey, could you cause him to self-destruct?" Canderous asked curiously.

Revan nodded. "Yes, it would be fairly basic. I won't, though, considering that this is wonderfully sophisticated circuitry and I am not a monster."

There was an awkward silence that Revan blissfully seemed not to notice.

"There, all done," he said cheerfully, backing away from the droid. "You are now no longer an assassin droid."

HK seemed too simultaneously outraged and depressed to comment on this as the former assassin droid thanked him profusely and flew away.

* * *

"Let's see…a Vibroblade, a Silver Lined Sword, and a Notched Steel Sword…" Revan mused, looking at the weapons in the coffin in front of him. "I want them."

"Didn't we end up having to commit genocide the last time you gave in to your kleptomaniac urges?" Carth asked rhetorically. "That one guy who suggested getting HK-47 was **very** upset about this."

Revan shrugged. "There's no one but us here for me to kill so as long as you guys don't go crazy and attack me for picking them up then we shouldn't have any problems."

"This is a Sith tomb so there are no guarantees," Bastila said as Revan's hands closed around the three weapons. Immediately, a Force ghost appeared. "And speak of the Sith Lord. Are you Ajunta Pall?"

The apparition looked confused. "I... had a name, once. Ajunta Pall. Yes, that was my name. I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side... Sith Lords, we called ourselves. So proud."

"Do you care if I take your swords?" Revan asked, holding up the weapons for him to see. "And, more specifically, are you going to attack us if you do care?"

"Not at all, Revan," Ajunta Pall was quick to assure him. "In fact-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Carth objected. "How can an ancient Sith Lord's spirit or whatever know who you are? It was one thing when all the living Sith knew you but this is getting kind of weird and, dare I say it, suspicious."

"So much for his grand declaration that he'd never suspect Revan again," Mission muttered.

"I'm actually impressed that he managed to keep that vow even this long," Zaalbar remarked.

"True…" Mission conceded.

"I can sense it through the Force," Ajunta Pall answered. "We've never actually met personally. Now, as I was saying: you may keep all three of these swords but first I was hoping you'd be able to help me with a little problem."

Revan gazed down at the steel in his hands. "Define 'little.'"

"I can't remember which of these swords are mine. If you can figure this out and place the correct one on my statue then you can keep it. If not, I'm going to kill you all," Ajunta Pall announced.

"Wouldn't all of the swords be yours?" Canderous asked. "Seeing as how they were all buried with you?"

"Well, yes," Ajunta Pall conceded. "At least, probably. It's been so long. Only one of them was of any **real **importance to me."

"Clearly not all that important if you can't remember which one it is," Revan said quietly. In a louder voice, he continued, "If you can't remember which sword it is then how in the world am I supposed to figure it out? And how would you know whether I got it right or wrong?"

"…I'm not sure," Ajunta Pall admitted. "Just pick one!"

Revan shrugged and tossed the Notched Steel Sword on the statue. "Well?"

Ajunta Pall closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes…that is the one! Now that I remember which sword was mine I can rest in peace again! Well…almost…"

Revan rather doubted that Ajunta Pall remembered anything of the sort but as he summoned the sword back to him he decided that it was more trouble than it was worth to argue about it. Big surprise.

Bastila, naturally, felt the need to inquire further. "You are having other problems?"

Ajunta Pall hesitated. "Well, I'm not sure that it's really all that important and I'd hate to bother you."

"This guy is a Sith Lord?" Canderous couldn't believe it.

"Sadly," Ajunta Pall confirmed.

Bastila's eyes lit up. "Sadly?" she repeated delightedly. "Are you possibly regretting your actions?"

"Some of them, certainly," Ajunta Pall confirmed. "I mean, our fall was rather lackluster. There was no epic battle with the Jedi to end the Hundred-Year Darkness. We all just sort of killed each other. We had initially agreed to wait until _after_ we'd crushed the Jedi and spread throughout the galaxy but, well…"

"I hear you," Revan said sympathetically. "Some people are just so impatient."

"Patience isn't really a virtue of the dark side," Ajunta Pall admitted. "And while I was off regretting things I also rediscovered my hitherto suppressed conscience. Some of the things I did…Well, they were things that I probably shouldn't have done."

"Probably?" Bastila repeated, clearly feeling that there shouldn't have been any doubts. "If you feel so strongly about your regrets then why linger here?"

"What other choice have I?" Ajunta Pall sounded wistful.

"You could always rejoin the light," Bastila told him pointedly.

Ajunta Pall sighed and shook his head. "I can't possibly do that! I told my old masters that I would never ever under any circumstances come back no matter what. Why…if I did it anyway then imagine how foolish I would look!"

"And people wonder why the Jedi insist that pride is a problem," Bastila said, shaking her head in stark disbelief. "Look, I understand not wanting to look foolish but it your pride really worth wallowing in darkness forever? If you truly regret what you've done then it isn't too late. One day it may be, but that day is not today."

"I don't know…" Ajunta Pall said uncertainly.

"If your masters were truly Jedi than they won't mock you for going back on your word and they should be glad to see you," Bastila said firmly. "And if not, well…if not then you could always call them on their also un-Jedi-like behavior."

Ajunta Pall visibly brightened at this. "You're right! That's a great comeback, accusing them of hypocrisy!"

"I think you might kind of be missing the point," Bastila said with a slight wince. "Just a little."

"Huh? Oh, right. Returning to the light side…I don't even know how I could start but I suppose I could always try thinking pure thoughts," Ajunta Pall closed his eyes. "Force knows I'm out of practice but surely I could…hey…I think it's working!" He slowly faded away.

"Talk about anti-climatic," Canderous grumbled. "Now, if it's alright with you I'm going to get out of here because these tombs have been very disappointing." He stormed towards the entrance, followed by Mission, Zaalbar, Carth, T3, and HK.

"Bastila, can I talk to you?" Revan asked quietly, causing her to hang back.

"Sure Revan, what's up?" Bastila asked, looking concerned.

"Redeeming Ajunta Pall like that…he seemed pretty determined to spend eternity stubbornly clinging to the darkness he had come to despise," Revan began. "And in the end, what good did saving him even do?"

Bastila frowned in disapproval. "I know that it took quite a bit of effort on my part and it won't really affect _me_ one way or another but Revan…I just saved his soul from what might be an eternal – albeit self-imposed – darkness. I feel that it was worth it."

"How can you feel that way?" Revan asked, sounding as if he genuinely wanted to know. "It's not like anyone was stopping him from returning to the light but him. It was a prison of the mind that he built and that he could have freed himself from at any time had he not been so proud."

Bastila thought for a moment before she spoke. "Just because someone's problems are of their own making doesn't make that problem any less severe or any less tragic. People often have a hand in their own troubles. People don't _have_ to borrow money from ruthless creditors, Jedi don't _have_ to set aside their morals in a quest for power, and even the Council didn't _have_ to watch the Mandalorians advance unopposed until individual Jedi began to join the fight without sanction. Maybe these things and others were the right choice at the time, maybe the decision was perfectly understandable, maybe they were misled. I don't think that making a few – or even a lot – or bad choices means that we should just give up on people."

Revan smiled sadly at her. "I wish I had your conviction. I've been around the galaxy, Bastila, and I've seen the same things play out time and time again. There are so many people like Ajunta Pall content to just wallow in their self-imposed misery and no matter how hard you try or how many people you help, you're never going to be able to erase all the suffering in the galaxy or really even make an impact. It all just seems so…pointless."

Bastila was quiet for a long moment. "It wasn't pointless to him," she said finally. "It wasn't pointless to that ex-assassination droid. It wasn't pointless to Mekel. It wasn't pointless to Dustil. It wasn't pointless to Kel. One person may not be able to change everything but they can change everything for the individuals that they save."

"That's just not enough," Revan replied. "There's always so many more everywhere that you look."

"I disagree on it not being enough," Bastila told him. "Especially as you seem to forget that you're not the only one out there trying to help people. Still…I think I understand you a little better."

Revan made a face. "Don't tell Carth, okay? He'd never let me hear the end of it."

Bastila laughed. "Now that I can agree to."

As the pair walked off to join the others, Revan spotted a corpse that appeared to be fresh. "Was that there before?"

"Prompt response: No, this meatbag was waiting to ambush you to take the sword back to Uthar," HK revealed.

"You were taking too long so we killed him," Canderous finished.

* * *

"Canderous, is that you?" the prisoner in the cage asked incredulously.

"Teroch! I thought you were dead!" Canderous greeted him cheerfully. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm being interrogated about where I stored some useless junk," Teroch said dismissively. "It's really kind of a pain. This cage isn't anywhere near big enough for me to be comfortable in and the moron questioning me can't seem to get the truth serums in the correct dosages. It's gotten so bad I've started to give him some advice but he _still_ can't get it."

"If you're telling him how to force you to answer then why not just tell him?" Carth asked reasonably.

Teroch snorted. "Please, I'm a Mandalorian. I can't give anything up to an enemy. A fellow Mandalorian like Canderous, however, I can feel free to tell that my junk was hidden in a secret compartment in my ship."

"There's got to be something we can do for you," Canderous told him. "This is an outrage!"

"You could always help me fake me own death again," Teroch suggested. "It's worked pretty well the last thirty-seven times I've tried it."

"That last time even convinced me," Canderous confirmed. "Okay, so do you have any ideas?"

"Just give me two high dosages of truth serum," Teroch instructed. "It will simulate my death but I've got implants that should mean that I'll recover once they've thrown my body outside. There's always the slight risk I'll be eaten before awakening but I'll probably be fine. You can even tell whoever about my junk if you want as there's no way I'll be able to get that ship back."

"Sounds like a plan," Canderous agreed, moving over to the terminal. "I'll make sure to look you up sometime assuming this doesn't actually kill you. We've got a lot of catching up to do."

Teroch collapsed in his cage.

"Hey!" the Sith interrogator who had been standing right there and yet had not actually paid attention to the exchange at all suddenly snapped to attention. "Did you just kill hi-?" He was unable to finish the question as he fell over himself from the blaster-shot to the head.

Everyone turned to look at HK.

"Objection: Oh come on. We all knew it was going to end up happening!"

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	19. Revan On His Own

Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"Ah, Revan," Uthar greeted him warmly. "It's good to see you. I haven't actually seen any of the other potential students in quite some time and so you can rest assured that they don't seem to be in danger of stealing your position."

"Oh, I either killed them or otherwise convinced them to leave," Revan explained. His companions were all hanging back as Uthar was supposed to view them all as just slaves and slaves generally didn't participate in discussions to the extent that they usually did. Granted, they hadn't actually been acting like that during their entire time on Korriban but Uthar _was_ the man in charge so they may as well make the effort.

Or maybe they just didn't want to deal with this. After all, Revan didn't feel that there was anything _suspicious _about his 'slaves' doing whatever it was that they wanted to do although it might indicate that he was weak if he couldn't control them. That or just extremely apathetic.

"That certainly gets rid of any urgency," Uthar remarked, completely unfazed by the admission. Huh. Revan hadn't thought he'd be surprised that it actually happened but he thought the fact that he had just openly admitted it instead of making any effort to disguise it might have raised an eyebrow or two. Evidently Sith didn't actually demand subtlety. Which, based on what he'd seen, did not surprise him in the slightest. "Although you still need to gather sufficient prestige on your own. I wouldn't want to be accused of blatant favoritism after all. Now, learning the code was a good start but I can't actually award you any prestige for getting rid of the competition as such things are usually assumed to be mere incompetence on the part of the failures instead of any great skill on the part of the one who succeeded. So have you done anything to earn more prestige?"

"Well, I found some holocron Lashowe was looking for, got rid of some renegade students hidden in a cave, killed your previous master, neutralized a malfunctioning assassin droid, retrieved the sword of Ajunta Pall, and found out that the Mandalorian that was being interrogated had hidden whatever you were looking for on a hidden compartment in his ship," Revan recited, feeling slightly dizzy as he thought of all that he had reluctantly accomplished since arriving. And he wasn't even done yet…At least this would, hopefully, be the end of his prestige-gathering.

Uthar responded by slapping his forehead. "The Mandalorian had a hidden compartment in his ship? Why didn't we think of that before having the ship destroyed? I'm going to have to kill someone for that and possibly more than just 'someone'. I mean, I'm not even sure what we were looking for but that is **really** incompetent."

Revan shrugged. "Well, what can you do?"

"Kill them," Uthar repeated. "I just said that. I must admit, Revan, I'm surprised that you managed to accomplish all of that. It seems…unusually industrious."

Revan jerked his head towards his companions. "What do you think I have them for?"

"Oh, so you have your slaves do most of the work?" Uthar asked. "That does seem sensible given your disinclination to really do much of the manual labor. Most people would be uncomfortable having their slaves even knowing _how_ to fight, much less armed."

"I've never had any real problems," Revan said, shrugging. Sure, Carth occasionally suspected him of being a traitor but he suspected everyone he met of being a traitor at some point or another and he had enough social graces not to actually act on it.

"Still, I should warn you that when you take your final exam then you'll have to do it alone," Uthar cautioned.

Bastila practically had a heart attack. "Do it alone?" she hissed. "Not only will he have to deal with a highly corruptive Star Map by himself but he will actually have to find it within himself to complete the task!"

"Well, on the bright side if he takes too long to come back then Uthar will probably just leave and we can try and sneak it after him and make him actually do something," Carth said, trying to be positive.

"Your slaves really are opinionated, aren't they?" Uthar remarked, surprised. "And they seem to have a shocking amount of concern for you."

Revan crossed his arms and glared at him. "Are you saying that it's weird for people to care about me and my safety?"

"Well, _no_," Uthar hastily back-tracked. "It's just that they're _slaves_ and slaves don't normally give a damn about their master."

"Well maybe I'm just that awesome," Revan claimed.

"Or that lazy," Bastila murmured.

"Not helping," Revan retorted. He turned back to Bastila. "I like arguing. It's very…energizing. And not everyone around me will appreciate a good argument at the drop of a hat but if you can't have your salves oblige you on that front then what, I ask you, is the point of having slaves?"

"A lot of people would say for the sex," Uthar replied.

"That seems kind of pathetic and desperate," Revan noted.

"I could use a nice nap," Mission remarked, doing a much better job of being positive than Carth likely because she really didn't care one way or another who ruled the galaxy.

"I agree," Zaalbar spoke up. "And if we could just stay here forever and then never ever under any circumstances ever go back to Kashyyyk then that would be great."

"You know, if Carth could actually understand you he would probably be incredibly suspicious right now," Canderous said with a smirk, knowing full well the effect that that was going to have on the pilot.

Carth, to his surprise, merely scowled and crossed his arms. "Right," he laughed. "Like I'm really going to trust your translations."

T3 beeped something.

"Translation: You trust Mission's," HK announced.

"Mission is a perfectly lovely little girl who would never, under any circumstances, even consider lying to me," Carth declared.

"Your faith in me is touching," Mission said virtuously.

"If a tad misplaced," Zaalbar added.

"Carth does _not_ look old in that jacket!" Mission cried, sounding shocked.

Revan stood in the tomb of Naga Sadow and watched as Uthar and Yuthura shot nasty death glares at each other when they thought that the other wasn't looking. Of course, it was leading to some awkward moments when Yuthura was glaring when Uthar turned to glare at her or vice versa. Was that their normal interaction or something? If he were either of them (or just even a person who wasn't well-aware that they were out to betray each other) then he'd have instantly realized that they were out to betray each other. He wouldn't have actually done anything about it but he would have still known.

"Okay so I probably should have asked this sooner but I didn't care so…what, exactly, am I supposed to do here?" Revan asked eventually when it looked like they were going to be too busy hating each other to bother with him.

"Oh, so you care now?" Yuthura asked, surprised.

"Well, no," Revan admitted. "But it would be kind of hard to do whatever it is that I'm supposed to do if I don't know what it is. Not that that would be impossible, mind you, just a bit more difficult and I am – on general principle – opposed to difficult things."

"I'm not sure that you will go very far in life, let alone in the Sith, with that kind of attitude," Yuthura warned him.

To her great surprise, Revan started to laugh. "You would think, wouldn't you? Oh, if only…"

"There just happens to be an ancient Star Map of some sort in the back of this tomb," Uthar began to explain. He frowned. "I'm…actually not sure why because that seems like a really bad place to put it and if the tomb was built around the map you'd think they could have destroyed said map or built the tomb elsewhere. I guess the ancient Sith Lords decided that they weren't going to change their plans for anyone and anything and since they were ancient Sith Lords I'm sure that they knew best. So yeah, it's here and so we decided to use that as a nice landmark. It's in the back of a tomb and so we put your new lightsaber right next to it. If you come back alive then you pass. If not then you're dead so I hardly think failing is something you should really concern yourself with."

"Wait…" Revan said. "You guys are just going to _give_ me a lightsaber? The Jedi kept making me make my own."

Yuthura decided to answer this question. "We of the Dark Side are not always well known for our patience. Creating a lightsaber takes patience. Forcing everyone to do so increases the risk that something goes horribly wrong and by this point we are mildly invested in our students and would rather that they lose their lives to each other than to a freak lightsaber making accident. If you have a problem with the lightsaber that we've supplied you are, of course, free to make your own."

"I already have a lightsaber, see?" Revan asked, brandishing his beloved purple double-bladed one.

"Isn't the whole reason you joined the Academy so you could get access to this tomb?" Yuthura reminded him.

Revan sighed. "True…"

"We'll wait as long as we can but don't worry if you come back and we're not here. That just means that our attention spans weren't long enough to stay until the end of your final exam," Uthar told him.

"Oh don't worry, I understand completely," Revan assured them. "In fact, I should get going lest I get too bored to move before even getting anywhere near the Star Map."

"You mean 'lightsaber', right?" Yuthura asked pointedly.

Revan shrugged. "Sure, let's go with that." He started to walk off but then stopped and snapped his fingers as something occurred to him. "So, do you guys actually regularly go back there and place lightsabers in the tomb for people to retrieve? How do you do so without killing any beasts? Or do you regularly kill the beasts and then bring new ones in? Or aren't their any beasts in here at all? Because, let me tell you, this whole thing sounds _really _inefficient. And it's the kind of thing that makes you think that anyone who could actually pass all of these tests doesn't actually need to be a part of the Academy after all."

Uthar was twitching. "Just. Go."

Revan groaned as he came upon a second puzzle. The first one was extremely tedious as he had to play around with some rings and a few pillars (and totally cheated with the Force as avoiding minor inconveniences like that was half the point of getting some semblance of Force training). This one was far more basic but still kind of insulting. There was acid spread on the ground and no way around it. There was a fire grenade and an ice grenade located right next to it. Clearly what he was supposed to do was to throw the ice grenade at the acid (or, if he were an utter idiot, blow himself up with the fire grenade) and then walk over the frozen surface. Revan, however, decided that one never knew when an ice grenade would come in handy and so chose to instead pocket both grenades and jump over the acid. In doing so, he enabled future laziness by actually doing something today.

He walked into the room that had the Star Map in it. He _could _search for the lightsaber but he wasn't particularly invested in finding it and actually looking for things was just so inefficient so he simply raised his hand and summoned it to him. Honestly, the Force may have been the cause of most of his problems in life but it also allowed him to get by with his current attitude and motivation so he couldn't complain. He approached the Star Map and opened it. It definitely radiated an aura of evil but that didn't really concern Revan very much. After all, what happened happened and he had at least some experience with the dark side so it wasn't like he was likely accidentally become a Sith. The odds of that happening just _once_ were small and for it to occur more than once? Well…it seemed even less likely. With his luck, however, it could still happen.

Once he copied the Star Map into his datapad, he leisurely strolled back towards the entrance of the tomb and feeling very fortunate that he hadn't been called upon to rescue anything or anyone because people in need were always a nuisance and he'd be forced to deal with those people himself. Once he reached the room he had left Uthar and Yuthura in, he found them heading for the exit.

"Well, we can't say that we didn't warn him," Uthar said.

"I know, it's been forty entire minutes. I think he should actually be impressed at just how long it took for us to decide to leave," Yuthura agreed.

"I'd be even more impressed if you could pay even the slightest bit of attention to your surroundings and realize that I'm back before you decide you're bored," Revan spoke up.

"Actually, we decided we were bored about half an hour ago but then we were having a battle of wills to see who would give in and leave first," Yuthura explained. "Ultimately, we decided that that was wasting time and so just decided to leave together."

"Revan? You've returned in one piece, I see. Not that I'm particularly surprised," Uthar told him. "You are Revan, after all. Do you have the lightsaber?"

Revan nodded. "I do. And I don't mean to brag but…honestly, I could craft a better one in my sleep. As it happens, I'm nearly positive that I **have** done just that. Multiple times, in fact."

"Yes, yes, we're all aware of how special you are," Uthar said, a little annoyed. "Which is why I want you to kill my apprentice for me."

Yuthura drew back as if slapped. "You bastard! See, this kind of treachery is exactly why I want Revan to kill you for me instead!"

Revan blinked. "Not for nothing but…you two are the two heads of this Academy, right?"

"Right," Uthar confirmed.

"And I literally _just_ passed the entrance exam," Revan continued.

"Well, you will once one of us is dead," Yuthura corrected.

"That makes this even more absurd!" Revan complained. "What kind of entrance exam is killing either the head of the Sith Academy or the second-in-command? If I can do that, why would I even need to attend the Academy in the first place?"

"Normally, I would concede that those are valid points," Uthar said seriously. "On the other hand…Revan!"

Revan sighed. "Now I see why Alek changed his name. Though after his accident there was no chance that people wouldn't recognize him no matter what he called himself."

"Who's Alek?" Uthar asked blankly.

Revan nodded in satisfaction. "Exactly. But aside from that…if you think I'm so awesome that I can do all of this for you then why did you make me go through your stupid entrance exam?"

"Because…reasons…" Uthar said shiftily.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Yuthura, don't you think that if you need someone else to kill your master for you then perhaps you're not ready to end your apprenticeship?"

Yuthura shrugged. "Who cares how the Sith are _supposed_ to work? No one actually bothers killing their own master these days. In fact, I heard that you killed Uthar's master earlier today. At least I'm trying to ensure that mine dies now and doesn't come back in the future to inconvenience me with his presence. And besides, I'm only doing this since Uthar is clearly trying to kill me."

Uthar snorted. "Please. I'm only trying to kill you because you're out to get me. And as your master I'm not even required by the Sith to kill you personally."

"Not like you would even if you were," Yuthura shot back.

"So wait…this is all just one big misunderstanding?" Revan asked hopefully. "Does this mean that we can all-"

Yuthura and Uthar exchanged glances. "No."

"But…but I don't even care which of you wins!" Revan protested. "Can't I just stay out of it?"

"If you'd like, Yuthura and I can launch a suicide attack on you and then if a miracle occurs and you die we can settle our issues then," Uthar suggested.

"I don't like that plan," Revan announced.

"Well, you already promised that you'd help me, remember?" Yuthura prompted.

Revan thought back. "Oh, right, I did say that if I were being forced to choose which one of you to kill that I'd end up supporting you, didn't I?"

Uthar coughed. This was really not going the way that he had expected it to. Who would have thought that Revan would choose to side against the stronger opponent when no one was there to talk him into it (or, more accurately, pester him until he did) and he admitted that he didn't care about the outcome? Maybe he shouldn't have let Yuthura spend so much time with him..."You know, on the other hand, you're right. We've disregarded the traditions of the Sith for far too long and it's about time we begin to respect them. Besides, you're just a stranger so-"

"Too little, too late," Yuthura told him flatly as she swung her lightsaber at his head. Yuthura was nowhere near good enough to take Uthar on (the Sith really did weaken themselves by attacking and killing their masters before they had learned all they could but that was no longer Revan's concern) but fortunately for her, she had a reluctant Revan on her side.

Within a few minutes, Uthar lay dead at their feet.

"Well, that was easy," Yuthura said cheerfully. "I guess it pays to recruit the most powerful person you've ever met, huh?"

"Yeah, probably," Revan said vaguely. "Can I go now?"

Yuthura looked confused. "What, already?"

"Well what do you expect?" Revan demanded. "I just killed Uthar pretty much by myself so, no offense, I really don't think I could benefit all that much from enrolling in this Academy."

"I was actually kind of wondering whether you were going to attempt to redeem me or something," Yuthura prompted.

Revan shrugged. "Do you want to be redeemed? If so then, trust me, you do **not** need my help for that. And you probably should have asked Carth and totally-not-Bastila about that earlier."

"Making the decision yourself…" Yuthura trailed off with a sigh. "I just don't know. That doesn't sound very dramatic. I guess I'll just stay here and run this evil Sith Academy and hope that someone who actually cares about my soul will come by."

Revan stood unrepentant. "You had all the time in the world to talk to the others!"

"So how did it go?" Canderous asked once Revan had rejoined them on the Ebon Hawk and they were about to take off.

"It went okay, I guess," Revan replied. "Yuthura made me help kill Uthar and now she's running the Sith Academy and I got the Star Map so we can just go."

"You didn't manage to redeem her, then?" Bastila asked, disappointed.

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he hadn't even tried but that would just lead to annoyance on her part and perhaps on Carth's. Besides, attempting to redeem her would make him seem like a better person than he actually was. "No, she was too caught up in the dark side," Revan lied. "I should have killed her but if I had done that I would have been exposed and forced to slaughter my way through the Academy."

"I don't think Dustil left yet," Carth said, looking anxious.

"I understand," Bastila said, a little sadly.

"So where are we going next?" Revan asked, quickly changing the subject.

Carth looked a little surprised that Revan was at all interested but responded with, "I was thinking Kashyyyk. Manaan is one of the most tedious planets I've ever been to and they just have so many ridiculous laws…it's really best to just put that off as long as possible."

"I vote that we _don't_ go to Kashyyyk," Zaalbar immediately disagreed. "In fact, I vote that we never go there. Ever."

"Well, that's not really an option…" Mission pointed out.

"See?" Carth said happily. "Zaalbar agrees with me!"

"How did you get 'Zaalbar agrees with me' from Mission saying 'that's not an option'?" Canderous wondered. "You don't even know if they were talking about this!"

"I know," Carth said confidently, albeit wrongly.

Revan groaned. "Does this mean I'm going to have to start dealing with your problems as well?"

Review Please!


	20. Fun Family Reunions

Chapter Twenty

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"I'm waiting on the ship," Zaalbar announced as the Ebon Hawk touched down on Kashyyyk.

Revan's eyes lit up. "Are you? Does that mean that we're going to get to avoid having to deal with whatever issues you have here?"

"If fate is kind," Zaalbar replied. "So it's about fifty-fifty, really. Just make sure not to mention even knowing me, much less the fact that I came here with you. It won't end well and I kind of sort of was exiled anyway so am not legally allowed to be here."

Bastila frowned. "If you were exiled then why did you return with us here?"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Zaalbar challenged. "Stay behind on Korriban with all the slave-happy Czerka and the Sith?"

"You knew we were going to Kashyyyk at some point since Dantooine," Canderous pointed out. "You could have made other plans."

"Mission insisted on tagging along," Zaalbar said with a shrug.

"Suggestion: You could have always killed the blue meatbag and thus solved your problem," HK put forth.

T3 beeped something quickly.

"Realization: Oh, right. If he were willing to kill her then he wouldn't have had any problem just leaving," HK said. "Sulking addition: Although that would still be a good plan."

"Big Z owes me a life debt," Mission piped up. "So he can't kill me."

"No, I haven't yet reached Hanhaar levels of lunacy yet," Zaalbar agreed.

"You know, if the whole planet's going to be one big conversation that I can only understand, at most, half of then I'm waiting in the ship, too," Carth decided. "I'm not a masochist, after all."

"But what about not leaving me alone with Revan?" Bastila demanded. "That's what you said to get me to come to freaking Korriban with you."

"Look, Revan was left completely by himself in Naga Sadow's tomb back on Korriban and that worked out for the best," Carth reasoned. "Besides, Zaalbar's staying here as well so it won't be all **that** bad."

"But…but Zaalbar's never been my biggest concern when it came to influencing Revan," Bastila protested.

"Sorry, Bastila, but I just can't come," Carth said virtuously. "Someone has to stop someone from discovering Zaalbar and kidnapping him or attempting to kill him."

With that settled, Mission, Canderous, Bastila, Revan, HK, and T3 exited the Ebon Hawk and were quickly greeted by an Ithorian Czerka representative.

"Welcome to G5-623," the Ithorian greeted.

"Knew Republic would get us lost," Canderous complained. "We were supposed to be heading to Kashyyyk!"

" 'Kashyyyk' was the former name for this planet," the Ithorian admitted. "But when Czerka came to this planet, we decided that it was spelled weird and so we changed it."

"And so now you're calling it G5-623?" Mission couldn't believe it. "You can't just call a planet G5-623!"

"We realized that," the Ithorian assured her. "And so we polled our shareholders. This planet is now colloquially called Edean. Now, I'm going to need to collect 100 credits as a docking fee-"

Revan looked him straight in the eye. "Not happening."

"On second thought, maybe not," the Ithorian readily agreed. "Would you like the services of a translator during your stay on Edean?"

"There's a translator?" Bastila asked. "I guess Carth could have come after all."

"But we're not actually going to bother to go tell him even though the ship is literally right behind us, are we?" Mission asked knowingly.

Bastila shrugged. "I blame Revan. This is his influence, no doubt."

"Hey, don't look at me!" Revan said, holding up his hands defensively. "I don't care what you do. Well, as long as it doesn't involve me."

"Tell you what, how about you go tell him?" Mission invited.

Revan snorted. "Please. Besides, I never know when he'll randomly decide to be suspicious of me again and I'm not really in the mood to be shot at."

The Ithorian coughed. "About that translator?"

"Indignant reply: They do not need some substandard translator since they have _me_, the galaxy's single finest translator droid!" HK cried, outraged. "Embarrassed admission: And they can all speak Shyriiwook anyway."

"Hey, I just realized something," Mission said. "If Revan built HK and he was such a talented linguist then why did he need to program HK to be a translator?"

T3 beeped something.

" 'That's just how he rolls'?" Revan repeated. "I was going to go with 'because when he was sent on assassination missions and masquerading as a protocol droid the ability to communicate unfettered would be useful' but, by all means, let's go with that other one."

"Sounds good," Mission said cheerfully.

"Um…I'm going to go now," the Ithorian told them, backing away slowly. "Feel free to do what you want but remember that once you leave this port you are no longer under the protection of Czerka corporation and we will not tolerate interference with our slaving operations."

"Slaving operations?" Bastila asked, frowning. "It's really a good thing Zaalbar isn't here to hear that."

"Yeah, he'd probably be pissed," Canderous agreed, not really caring one way or another since Mandalorians were known to take slaves as well. "Hey, look! Supplies!"

He rushed over to two men standing near a kiosk and everyone else had little choice but to follow him.

"Greetings," one of them said brightly. "My name is Matton and I'm being virtually enslaved by Eli here since my friends incurred a huge debt with him and then mysteriously left me behind when they skipped out on the bill."

Bastila shot him an odd look. "And you don't find anything odd about that story?"

"Not really," Matton cut him off. "I never did have the most morally upstanding or responsible friends in the world. It is a bit weird that they didn't take me with them but perhaps they simply forgot about me and don't want to risk coming back and being forced to actually pay off their debt."

"I'm sure that this is really no concern of yours-" Eli began to say nervously.

"Nonsense," Bastila disagreed. "There's something suspicious going on here and I won't rest until I find out what!"

"That's _really_ not necessary," Eli told her uncomfortably.

"I agree," Matton said with a nod. "Don't think I don't appreciate the concern because I really do but it's my mess – or rather my friends' – and so it's my responsibility to handle it."

Revan sighed at how determined Bastila looked. She really was so predictable sometimes. It was actually part of what he liked about her. No matter how pointless it all got sometimes, she was still determined to help people and to do the 'right' thing. Not that that meant that he was willing to waste his time looking for actual evidence, of course. "Eli?"

Eli glanced Revan's way. "Yes?"

Meeting his eyes, Revan commanded, "Tell me what really happened to Matton's crew."

"I found out what a talented mechanic Matton was but I couldn't be bothered to try to actually hire him and so I lured his friends down into the Shadowlands and killed them," Eli obediently revealed. His eyes widened once he realized what he'd done and he took off running.

"You son of a bitch!" Matton cried, anger twisting his features. "I can't believe I didn't question such an idiotic story!" He pulled out a blaster.

Bastila grabbed his arm. "Don't!"

"I can't just let him get away!" Matton said, struggling to pull away. "Not after what he's done!"

Canderous calmly pulled out a blaster of his own and shot the fleeing kiosk-owner in the back of the head twice. "I agree. But now you get to feel all more superior because you were 'better' than him and he ends up dead anyway."

Matton thought about it. "You know, you're right! That really _is_ the best of both worlds! For saving me, I'm going to offer you guys a discount."

"Maybe there _is _something to this do-gooding thing after all," Canderous mused.

* * *

"Okay, I get that these people are from an insular community and don't want us here but you'd think that at least _one_ of them would have something more interesting to say than 'Go talk to our chieftain'," Revan complained as they explored the Wookie village of Rwookrrorro.

"We could always try taking their advice and going to talk to their chieftain," Bastila suggested.

"I guess…" Revan said with a sigh. "I don't see why we need his permission to go get ourselves killed by exploring the Shadowlands area, though. I still say you should have let me persuade the guards to take us down anyway."

"I told you why that was a bad idea," Bastila reminded him patiently. "It might get us down but there's no guarantee that they wouldn't just leave us down there and good luck convincing them if we're all the way at the bottom of the Shadowlands and they're up at the top with their lift."

"You! Outsiders!" a guard standing in front of the building they were just about to walk by called out. "The hut behind me belongs to Chieftain Chuundar. He wants to see you. Go."

Looking very put-upon, Revan did so. Upon entering the hut, he saw Zaalbar (or at least he was fairly certain that it was Zaalbar) sulking in a corner of the room. "Didn't Carth stay behind to prevent this very thing from happening?" Revan demanded. "And for that matter, how did you beat us here?"

"Carth was busy going through your things because he's worried that you're about to reveal yourself to be a secret Sith," Zaalbar explained.

"Again?" Revan asked, annoyed.

"And I wouldn't have beaten you here if you hadn't taken the time to ask every other Wookie you met if they'd talk to you," Zaalbar told him pointedly. "I saw you on my way here. Although I do have to wonder how they even knew I was on the planet…"

"The mighty Chuundar knows all!" the Wookie sitting on a cushioned throne in the center of the room declared loftily.

Zaalbar rolled his eyes. "You haven't changed at all since we were children."

"Would somebody like to explain what's going on?" Bastila demanded.

"Not particularly," Chuundar replied.

Zaalbar sighed. "I'll explain, I guess. My father was the chieftain of this village and so Chuundar is actually my little brother. I was supposed to become the new chieftain but one day I discovered that Chuundar was selling our people into slavery with Czerka-"

"There is no proof to substantiate this ridiculous allegation," Chuundar interjected.

"Except, of course, for the heavy Czerka presence and the fact that they openly speak of slave-trading," Canderous spoke up.

Chuundar ignored him. "But by all means, ex-brother, carry on."

"I got so mad that I tried to kill him…with my claws," Zaalbar said, bowing his head in shame. "And so thus I was exiled and bid never to return."

"Wait…" Revan said slowly. "You paused before saying that you tried to kill him with your claws as if _that_ were the part that people had a problem with. Are you saying that if you had tried to kill him with a vibroblade or a blaster then it would have been okay to attempt fratricide in the eyes of your people?"

"Revan, don't be ridiculous," Bastila chided. "Of course he's not saying-"

"Absolutely," Zaalbar cut her off. "Especially once I had explained about Czerka. Sadly, even though I had irrefutable proof of Czerka's dealings at the time – though I've since lost the papers – no one would listen to me because trying to kill somebody with claws is just uncivilized and therefore I was condemned as a 'madclaw.'"

"That is seriously backwards," Mission opined.

"Mission! Try to be more culturally sensitive!" Bastila told her, sounding shocked.

"Hey, you were the one who couldn't actually believe that Wookie society would operate that way either just two minutes ago," Mission shot back.

"So I hear that you would like access to the Shadowlands," Chuundar said loudly. "I'm willing to allow this…under one condition. There is another madclaw who lives down in the Shadowlands named Freyyr. He keeps disrupting all the Czerka slaving operations and I want him out of the way. Kill him and you can go down there for…whatever reason you have to go down there."

"Seriously, it's like nobody's even listening," Revan marveled, eying the several Wookies who were just casually listening to all of this. "It's not like he's even _trying_ to be discrete."

"We're not paid to get morally outraged," one of them explained.

"Father?" Zaalbar couldn't believe it (although he really should). "You want Revan and the others – well, mostly the others – to kill Father, Chuundar? Do you really have no soul?"

"Czerka credits is more useful than a soul any day," Chuundar said brightly. "So do we have a deal? Zaalbar would have to stay with me for now but you'll get him back once you leave this place."

"Why does Big Z have to stay?" Mission demanded.

"Because he returned to this village despite his exile," Chuundar explained.

"Please, you were the one who had your thugs drag me back here," Zaalbar scoffed. "I was planning on waiting on the ship."

"I don't believe the terms of your exile were 'you must never return unless someone else forces you to'," Chuundar sniffed. "The law is completely on my side here."

"As chieftain you could simply rewrite the law if it wasn't!" Zaalbar cried out.

"You catch on quick," Chuundar mocked. "Now will you do it or not? And don't even think about trying to kill me. I regularly have my attendants go throughout the village announcing that I'm not dead and so if that doesn't happen in the next five minutes then they'll know that something is up and attack you en masse."

Bastila looked annoyed. "Fine. We'll do it."

"We will?" Revan asked, surprised. "Isn't that a little, you know, evil?"

Bastila leaned in close to him. "Have you never heard of lying?" she whispered.

"Ah, yes," Revan said with a hint of a smirk. "The Jedi way."

* * *

"Excuse me," Revan said. He had been waiting for the three Wookies in front of him to move but they didn't appear to notice him.

"Sorry," one of them said. "I was just trying to petition our Holder of the Laws, Worrroznor, to launch some sort of investigation until the death of the greatest hero ever, Rorworr."

"I keep telling you, Woorwill," Worrroznor said tiredly. "That that's not quite how my job works. I'm a judge. I judge the legality of actions and what punishments should be given. I don't go out organizing search parties for wayward hunters no matter how heroic. Jaarak, can't you talk any sense into the boy?"

"I've tried," Jaarak said defensively. "Who do you think kept him from coming to pester you when Rorworr first went missing three weeks ago?"

"What's going on here?" Bastila asked, concerned.

"Finally!" Woorwill exclaimed. "Someone who cares! The greatest hunter in the world, Rorworr, went missing three weeks ago in the Shadowlands and nobody is doing anything about it!"

"You really should just forget all about that," Jaarak urged. "Just move on with your life."

"You know, we're just about to head down to the Shadowlands-" Bastila began.

Revan groaned. "Let's try something else. Hey, Jaarak, look at me."

"Why should I?" Jaarak demanded hostilely even as he did just that.

"Tell me everything you know about Rorworr's disappearance," Revan ordered.

"Three weeks ago I saw Rorworr meeting with Czerka slave-traders and I recovered this datapad that shows proof that Rorworr was capturing hunters from other villages and selling them," Jaarak declared, holding up said datapad. "I killed him for this. He's such a hero, though, especially to Woorwill that I didn't ever want anybody to find out. People need their heroes and I'm old. If they ever found out what I did I intended to just let everybody think I was the type of person to just randomly go around murdering people."

"Let me see that," Worrroznor said, grabbing the datapad and scanning through it. "Yes, this does appear to be irrefutable evidence that Rorworr was a slaver."

"Why would you lie to me?" Woorwill asked, heartbroken.

"You needed a hero," Jaarak said wearily. "I was trying to protect you. I'm sorry."

"You didn't use your claws to do the killing, did you?" Worrroznor asked seriously.

Jaarak looked shocked. "Of course not! What do you take me for, a madclaw?"

"Of course not," Worrroznor assured him. "But you know I had to ask. Well, since Rorworr was a slaver that means that I don't feel the need to punish you for killing him. Woorwill gets two thirds of his estate since he was an admirer of Rorworr and happens to be here and we'll give that human who somehow managed to ferret out the truth the other third."

"So…the fact that he committed murder doesn't matter because the guy he killed was kind of evil?" Mission asked, surprised. "Backwards, much?"

"Mission!" Bastila exclaimed again.

"I know, I know…" Mission said with a sigh.

"We don't like shades of grey," Worrroznor explained. "So Jaarak either dies or he gets completely freed. Since Rorworr was a slaver, I think the latter is more appropriate."

"Is there any point in wondering if now that we have irrefutable proof that slaving is being done by Czerka we could take this to Chuundar and force him to acknowledge it?" Revan wondered.

"No, not really," Worrroznor replied. "Besides, chieftains get the final say on what is and isn't part of reality."

Mission coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'Backwards.'

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	21. They Think He Has Amnesia?

Chapter Twenty-One

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

One ridiculously-long lift ride down to the floor of the planet later, the group was wandering around the Shadowlands hoping that the Force would see fit to guide them to the Star Map at some point in the near future.

"Revan?" Bastila asked hesitantly. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Valiantly resisting the urge to point out that she already was, Revan nodded at her. "Certainly, Bastila. How may I help you?"

"It's just…you've impressed me," Bastila admitted.

Revan's eyes lit up. "Really? Do tell me more."

"You may not be the most enthusiastic person around – to put it mildly – but you've also done quite a bit of good recently. Even since just arriving on this planet you've managed to help free Matton and clear up what happened to Rorworr without allowing Jaarak to become a scapegoat. I'm a little jealous, to be honest."

"Jealous?" Revan couldn't believe it. "Of what? Yes, I found the truth faster than you could have but I have no doubt that if I weren't there then you would have still managed to figure out what had happened and resolved the situation."

"Maybe," Bastila said dubiously. "Oh, I'm explaining this all wrong. Do you ever have problems adhering to the Light Side? The expectations we Jedi face are difficult to measure up to sometimes or so I've always found. Do keep in mind that I'm not in favor of you having doubts as well, but…well, I guess I would just like some sort of verification that I wasn't alone."

"I can't say that I really have had any difficulty adhering to the Light Side," Revan replied, almost laughing at the thought. Seeing Bastila's face fall, he hastened to add, "But really, I don't pay much attention to that whole idea of a 'Light Side' of the Force or a 'Dark Side.' To me, the Force doesn't fit neatly into our preconceived notions of morality and so the good or evil is really found within ourselves rather than inherently in the Force. Still, you have to know that if it weren't for you then I doubt that I would have done have the so-called 'Light Side' things that I've done since we met." If only because he knew that she would do them anyway and wanted to save time.

"That's very kind of you, Revan," Bastila said with a small smile. "I'm not sure that I believe that since I have definitely seen some good in you and the idea that you could end up saving the galaxy just because it was too much of a hassle not to is…rather bizarre. Just the same, thank you for trying to make me feel better."

"I'm not just trying to make you feel better, Bastila," Revan assured her. "You and Carth have some of the strongest moral fibers that I've seen in some time. Most people are willing to compromise their beliefs for their own gain or to prove themselves hypocrites by preaching about how we're supposed to do good and protect people and yet when good needs to be done and the people are in need of protection then they just sit pretty in their ivory tower and condemn those who actually strive to hold up their ideals. You're different, though. You really care and you almost make me think that it's not so pointless after all."

"Almost?" Bastila repeated, a warm look in her eye.

Revan shrugged. "I am who I am, Bastila."

Bastila's smile widened and she opened her mouth to say something but before she got the chance to, another voice rang out.

"You know, I could have sworn that we talked about you bringing your dates here, Revan."

Revan turned around to see a dark-skinned man in Jedi robes smirking at him.

"Bastila's not my date, Jolee," Revan explained. "Well, not at present, at least. She's here with me because we're looking for the Star Map."

"Again?" Jolee asked, surprised. "Couldn't you and Malak have just made a spare copy of the data in case you lost it? I told you that that was a good idea but would you listen? _Noooo_. Young people these days…"

"It's not like the data was lost," Revan corrected him. He glanced over at his companions but Bastila was apparently still worrying about her apparent lack of zealotry towards the Light and the others didn't appear to be listening either. "Malak still has it, we just had a bit of a…falling-out, I guess you could say."

"And so you'd rather traipse across the galaxy revisiting all of the Star Maps instead of just swallowing your pride and asking for the information back," Jolee surmised, shaking his head. "Honestly, that sort of stubbornness is just going to get you in trouble some day."

"Well, since I'm already here could you maybe help me get to the Star Map?" Revan suggested.

Jolee shrugged. "Sure, why not? Of course, Czerka might have just built a huge force field that I know how to get past and that can't be gotten past any other way. Well, it would probably take you at least ten minutes to do it but no one else could do it. First, though…there's some young people a little ways down who won't stop being loud and annoying. If you could get rid of them for me, I'd be extremely grateful and help you."

"Wait," Mission said, tuning into the conversation. "Are you saying that you want us to help you chase some kids off of your lawn?"

Jolee shot her a sour look. "Well how about it, Revan? That's the price of my help. You either do it or you call Malak and apologize for whatever it is you did _this_ time."

* * *

"What do you want?" the annoyed Czerka hunter in charge asked rudely.

"Some old guy wanted us to get rid of you," Revan answered.

"So you're going to try to kill us?" the hunter asked, his hand straying towards his blaster.

"You know, I think he really sounds open to the idea," Canderous spoke up.

"We _could_ kill you," Revan agreed. "But we could also point out that the Shadowlands are really, really boring and that if you sabotaged those machines you've got keeping away the more dangerous wildlife then you'd have no choice but to leave."

"Why would we do th-" the leader started to ask before a giant creature came barreling towards him and he and his men were forced to flee.

"I guess they weren't getting paid enough," Mission remarked.

"Disappointed lamentation: In the old days, we would have just killed them," HK complained.

"I agree," Jolee concurred, turning off his stealth field generator and revealing that he'd been following them. "What? Has your break-up with Malak made you go soft on me?"

T3 beeped something urgently.

"Really?" Jolee asked, stunned. "They think he has amnesia? But…he's going by the same name and doesn't appear to be slightly confused by all the references I've been making to his past, particularly concerning his old best friend Malak. I guess it just goes to show that the Jedi Order isn't what it used to be."

"What kind of a Jedi are you, anyway?" Bastila demanded, outraged.

"I'm not," Jolee said flatly.

Bastila's eyes widened. "Then…you're a Sith!" She reached for her lightsaber.

"Nope," Jolee assured her.

Bastila frowned, confused, before her face cleared. "Oh! So you're just _pretending_ to be Force sensitive but really aren't."

Jolee responded by waving a hand and levitating her lightsaber in front of her face. "I assure you, I am fully trained in the Force."

Bastila yelped and grabbed her lightsaber. "I don't understand. You say that you can use the Force and just proved to me that you know at least a little but you also claim that you're not a Jedi or a Sith."

"What's not to understand?" Jolee asked laconically. "You just repeated my position perfectly."

"You can't _not_ be a Jedi or a Sith but still use the Force," Bastila insisted.

"Why not?" Jolee challenged.

"Because that's just not how it's done!" Bastila cried.

"I'm really more of a neutral kind of guy," Jolee explained. "I don't really care all that much."

"So am I," Revan spoke up. "And people keep calling me a Jedi. I think it's the lack of baby murdering, myself."

"That is true, I am strongly opposed to murdering babies," Jolee mused aloud. "Alright, I guess if you honestly cannot comprehend someone existing that can use the Force but not adhere to either rigid philosophy then you can call me the worst Jedi alive that doesn't happen to be Revan."

"That's all I ask," Bastila said magnanimously.

* * *

"Okay, here it is," Jolee announced, gesturing to the Star Map. "I don't know how you managed to get it to open up because I've tried a few dozen times and it wouldn't ever respond to me."

"A few dozen?" Canderous asked, amused. "Guess you must have been really bored down here."

Revan stepped up to the terminal near the Star Map and it immediately lit up.

"Welcome, Revan," the hologram that had appeared said. "It's nice to see that you have returned instead of this being Jolee Bindo's 9487th time trying to access the Star Map."

"I thought you said a few dozen," Mission said, slowly backing away from Jolee.

He shrugged. "Hey, that's only…790.5 dozen."

"Sad," Revan said, shaking his head before turning back to the terminal. "So can I access the Star Map?"

"Certainly," the terminal replied. "Just as soon as you answer these questions. I heard something about you having amnesia and so I wouldn't want you to access the Star Map if you were brainwashed. You can never be too careful."

Revan sighed. "Oh, fine. What's your first question?"

"You travel with a Wookie and have encountered complications. Hypothetical: you and this Zaalbar are captured and separated. If you both remain silent, one year in prison for each of you. However, call Zaalbar a traitor and he will serve five years, while you serve none. He is offered the same deal, but if you both accuse the other, you both serve two years. What do you do? What do you trust him to do?" the hologram inquired.

"I call him a traitor, of course," Revan replied promptly.

"Hey!" Mission complained. "You know that Zaalbar would never do such a thing to you!"

"I do," Revan conceded. "But if I say nothing then I'll be forced to serve a year that I really would rather not serve."

"We would totally end up rescuing you," Mission insisted.

"Especially if it was against impossible odds," Canderous backed her up.

"I know that, too," Revan assured her. "But if I were let go then I would be free to be forced to be a part of your daring rescue and it would go a lot smoother."

That gave Mission pause. "…Alright, you have a point."

"The temperament of a companion is unreliable at best. You wisely trade the thread of one year or five for none or two," the hologram judged. "In this instance, the Wookie is unreliable. His family has been a mire of treachery. I judge the answer correct. You display the proper behavior pattern to match the pattern in memory. Evaluation will continue. Hypothetical: you are at war. Deciphering an intercepted code, you learn two things about your enemy. A single spot in their defense will be at its weakest in ten days, and they will attack one of your cities in five days. What do you do with this information? What is the most efficient course of action?"

"I can't afford to evacuate the town," Revan reasoned. "Because then they'll realize that I have inside information and will probably change their code and their weak spot will be reinforced so I can't take advantage."

"So you'd just let the attack happen and allow all of those innocent men, women, and children to die?" Bastila demanded. "For what?"

"For victory, Bastila. The sooner the war ended the less people would die," Revan declared. He smiled. "And isn't this an excellent example of me being the paragon of virtue to your lax morality? In any event, if there were an opportunity to subtly reinforce the city so that our losses wouldn't be catastrophic while the enemy didn't realize that we had advanced warning, I _would_ take it despite how valuable such a loss could be for spurring the men on."

"You know, it's almost embarrassing just how _soft_ you're getting," Jolee said disgustedly.

"Agreement: Jedi always ruin everything!" HK added.

"Oh, not everything," Revan disagreed. "Just all the fun. Between them and the Sith, however, I'd say that your statement is true."

"Very good. If you had moved to evacuate the city, you would have alerted the enemy to their lost codes. Ultimate victory required the deaths of the people in that city. You wisely ignored sentiment in your decision," the terminal declared.

Revan coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'called it.'

"Hypothetical: remove the ongoing war from the previous example. Consider enemy states to be weak and remote. With no external threat, your empire stagnates. Y our people become complacent and begin to question you. Same scenario as before: you discover an impending attack but also a weakness that will come after. How do you react?" the terminal inquired.

"Let me guess," Bastila said, a little bitterly. "You let the attack happen."

Revan shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry but I really do feel that that's for the best."

"Why?" Bastila challenged. "There isn't even an enemy that needs fighting."

"But you heard what he said. The empire is stagnating. If we continued to stagnate and allowed others the opportunity to grow then we might face a threat we could not so easily defeat or predict," Revan explained. "War allows for growth and if the people are really so dissatisfied then they may rebel and that could cause so much more rampant death and destruction than allowing the attack will do, especially if those small and remote enemies decide to take advantage of our weakened state and to go after us."

"But what if you just stopped the attack?" Bastila queried. "Then you'd be a hero and your people would love you for it."

"People have short memories," Revan told her. "They'd more easily remember a tragedy that I brought us back from than one narrowly averted. 'Almosts' and 'would-have-beens' are never quite enough, you know."

"How ever they managed to call you a Jedi again is beyond me," Jolee murmured.

"That may be so," Bastila said softly. "But that doesn't mean that it's okay to just sacrifice so many people for your own ambitions! There has to be a better way."

"There might be," Revan admitted. "But this scenario doesn't offer us any third options or other details we could exploit. It's a dichotomy and I had to pick one. I pick let the attack happen."

"Of course you do," the terminal said almost condescendingly. "It makes the most strategic sense. Your people will rally beneath you against the common foe. As their eyes turn outward, your rule will strengthen. The trappings of war grant many opportunities. You have matched the pattern in memory. I recognize you, and will fulfill my designed function. Activation of the Star Map commencing. Parameters reset. Stasis initiated. End communication."

"So now I'll finally get to see a Star Map," Jolee said, rubbing his hands together.

"Why didn't you get a chance to see it when Revan and Malak were here?" Canderous asked him.

Jolee shrugged. "Oh, you know. HK was telling me all about how to drive Malak to the brink of frustration and he really does turn the funniest shade of purple when he gets all worked up. I would have done the same with Revan, of course, but he's practically impossible to get all riled up. He just doesn't care enough."

"It does have some benefits," Revan allowed.

"So…is that it?" Jolee asked, somewhat disappointed as he observed the now-open Star Map.

"Well, what did you expect?" Bastila wanted to know as she copied the information down into her datapad. "It's called a Star Map and, ancient or not, it is a map of stars."

"I suppose so," Jolee said with a sigh. "But to think that I spent so much time and effort trying to break into it and it really isn't even all that impressive-looking."

"Maybe the Star Forge will be impressive," Revan suggested.

"The Star Forge…" Jolee repeated. "I've heard that name before. That's where these Star Maps lead to, right? Well, why not? Kashyyyk is really, really boring. I'm coming along with you guys."

"Excellent," Bastila said, greatly cheered by this news. "We could always use another Jedi. Now all we've got to do is to find a way to deal with Freyyr or else just kill everybody in Rwookrrorro so that Zaalbar can come with us."

"Or we could just leave him here," Canderous pointed out. "But I'm in favor of killing everyone."

"Predictable agreement: As am I," HK seconded.

"Did you just say Freyyr?" Jolee asked curiously.

Mission nodded. "Yeah, apparently he's Big Z and the Chieftain's father and the Chieftain wants us to kill him for some reason he never really saw fit to mention to us. I think they said he was another 'madclaw' and was bothering Czerka."

"Freyyr is an old friend of mine," Jolee said slowly. "I can take you to him but I want your word that you won't try to kill him until he's had a chance to explain."

"My word?" Revan snorted. "For all that's worth."

"Did somebody say Freyyr?" a Wookie – presumably Freyyr – asked as he dropped down in front of them.

Jolee slapped his forehead. "Timing!"

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	22. Zaalbar Makes His Own Decision

Chapter Twenty-Two

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"So…you won't kill him, right?" Jolee asked hopefully. "He may have the worst sense of timing but he's really not a bad guy."

"My timing does indeed leave something to be desired," Freyyr agreed. "Like that one time I decided to confront my son Chuundar about how he'd been selling our people to Czerka when he was in the middle of a Czerka meeting and they had me tied up and thrown into the Shadowlands. I do wonder what ever happened up in Rwookrrorro."

"Your son had you declared a madclaw and is now the chieftain," Mission explained. "And he's kidnapped Big Z and is claiming that by being kidnapped and brought back to the village he's violating the terms of his exile and so can't leave. I don't quite see how he can use the fact that Big Z was brought to the village by his men as justification for his men to bring him there but then I'm not insane so…"

"That sounds bad," Freyyr agreed. "I wish there was something I could do to help."

"You know, I still haven't gotten confirmation that you're not going to kill him," Jolee pointed out.

Revan shrugged. "That's because I don't know yet. Guys?"

"Of course we're not going to kill him!" Bastila declared. "He's Zaalbar's father and seems to be a better man than Chuundar."

"Big Z would be pretty put out if we killed him so I vote no," Mission agreed.

"Incredulous inquiry: Do you really not know where I stand by now?" HK wondered.

Canderous frowned. "Hm…I don't know. Killing Freyyr now would lead to immediate gratification but what if we didn't kill him and he went back to the village with us? What are the odds there would be some kind of riot or civil war?"

"I'd say it would be impossible to avoid," Freyyr replied.

"Then by all means, let's do that," Canderous decided.

"Query: Can I change my vote?" HK asked.

"I would love to help," Freyyr said hesitantly. "But…well…I can't."

"If you can't help then we're going to kill you," Canderous warned.

"They're all talk," Jolee said dismissively. "They didn't even murder those Czerka kids on my lawn earlier."

"Just the same, I'd rather not take any chances," Freyyr said, finally seeming to realize what kind of danger he was in. "I _can_ help you…if you should happen to find Bacca's Ceremonial Blade. It is a sword carved by the legendary chieftain Bacca from debris of the first starship to crash on Kashyyyk. It was a symbol of strength and courage for generations…until Rothrrrawr the idiot Shadowlands explorer broke it trying to take down a terentatek. The hilt is still passed from chieftain to chieftain so my son should still have that. If I can get my hands on the _blade_ then I should be able to push a claim to the throne. Not everyone would follow me but enough would."

"So wait…you actually expect us to go hunting for some ancient terentatek?" Revan demanded, his eyes wide.

Freyyr slumped. "I suppose that's not really very reasonable…"

"It most certainly is not," Revan agreed. "Which is why it's really fortunate that HK and Canderous found it earlier, killed it, and recovered the blade."

Canderous looked stricken. "You're going to ask me to surrender that, aren't you? But…it's a war trophy! And a freaking sword made out of a starship! That's epically badass!"

"Which is kind of why Freyyr needs it," Jolee said delicately.

Canderous pondered that for a moment before handing the blade over. "Point."

* * *

Despite the fact that Freyyr lightly jogged back to go gather support while the rest of the group walked, they found that everyone they came across not only already knew Freyyr was back but had started up a civil war. It was especially odd that the lift that took _forever_ to get anywhere had already gone up and back by the time that Revan and company reached it. And strangely, the people guarding the lift were still alive. Had they let Freyyr go up without comment and decided to take their annoyance out on Revan and the others? If so, that was really really stupid of them as they might have had a chance to kill **Freyyr** and doing so would be fulfilling Chuundar's wishes.

Eventually, they managed to fight their way to the chieftain's hut where Freyyr and a few Wookies loyal to him were squaring off against Chuundar and those loyal to him. Their forces seemed to be about evenly matched and Zaalbar was standing off to the side, looking terribly confused.

"Revan!" he cried, sounding honestly pleased to see him. "Finally! Tell me who I should side with!"

"…Why do you need me to tell you who to side with?" Revan asked, confused. "Chuundar's been holding you prisoner, got you exiled, got your father exiled, sent us to kill your father, has been slaving with Czerka-"

"Yeah, I think he gets it," Chuundar cut him off.

"I know," Zaalbar agreed. "But he was talking to me while you guys were gone and some of what he was saying started making a lot of sense. I think he might have also been drugging my food as it's hard to think clearly right now but I don't have time to wait until it passes through my system! I need to make a decision now!"

"Why not ask someone else?" Revan asked. "Like Mission. You like her better than me anyway."

"That's a very good point," Zaalbar admitted. "But I already asked you so I'm going to want you to be the one to tell me what I should do."

"I don't really give a damn," Revan replied bluntly. "Force, make your own decision!"

"I…alright," Zaalbar said, closing his eyes. "This is kind of a new thing for me but…I guess Chuundar's kind of an evil bastard and my father is as against slavery as I am so I'm going to side with my father."

"I'm so very proud of you for being able to make such a difficult decision on your own," Revan deadpanned.

"I should have increased the dosage," Chuundar muttered before giving a mighty roar and attacking his father.

While the battle might have been evenly matched beforehand, the addition of Zaalbar and the non-Wookies quickly made it a one-sided fight. Soon, only Chuundar was left standing.

"What should I do?" Zaalbar wondered.

Revan groaned. "Oh come on! You've lost your wondrous newfound decision-making powers in five minutes?"

"Well…this is a difficult decision! My brother is an evil bastard but he's also my brother. I'm not sure if I should kill him," Zaalbar explained.

"If you don't then I will kill you all in your sleep and then make a rug out of your corpses," Chuundar threatened.

"You know, I really hate to say this but I think that killing him might be the only option," Bastila said hesitantly. "Well, that or we give him a complete mind wipe but those things take time, preferably, an expert which we don't currently have."

"And who even knows how effective they are," Jolee added with a pointed look at Revan.

"Amused declaration: I love how none of you are talking about the highly questionable ethics of such a course when, given the choice, many people would choose to be killed rather than destroyed so utterly," HK said ironically.

Bastila looked appalled that the assassin droid was point out the moral problems in her suggestion but didn't say anything.

"Well, I could make my own decision or I could let Bastila tell me what to do," Zaalbar mused. "I think I'll just listen to Bastila." With that, he decapitated his brother on the spot.

"I'm very proud of you, son," Freyyr said warmly.

"So outright fratricide is fine but if you use your claws then you're shunned?" Mission still couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"You know, I really don't want to be chieftain again and you've proven yourself here so how about I rescind your exile and make you chieftain?" Freyyr offered.

"Can you even do that?" Zaalbar wondered. "I mean, I still used my claws to attack Chuundar."

"Please," Freyyr scoffed. "I'm the chieftain. I can do whatever I feel like."

"Then why did you allow him to be exiled in the first place?" Mission demanded. "And how can you become chieftain if you were also a madclaw? You know what, I don't even care anymore."

"That's how it started for me," Revan told her blithely.

Mission shuddered and resolved to find something new to care about in the near future.

"I will accept my place back but I cannot become chieftain yet. I still have to help Revan save the galaxy and, as you've probably noticed, he's going to need all the help he can get," Zaalbar explained.

Instead of getting offended, of course, Revan merely shrugged. "When you're right, you're right."

"I suppose I can be chieftain for a few more months," Freyyr said reluctantly. "But the minute that you get back, you're taking over. And no lollygagging so you don't have to take charge."

"If you give me the newly restored Bacca's sword then I'll think about it," Zaalbar promised.

"Deal," Freyyr said, immediately handing it over. Given how much he seemed to hate the job of chieftain, Revan really had to wonder just how much of that getting exiled thing was an accident.

* * *

Carth had not only finished thoroughly searching the ship for signs that the crew were all out to get him – and fortunately finding nothing – but managed to put everything back exactly where he found it by the time everyone arrived.

"So what happened?" he asked curiously.

Revan shrugged. "Zaalbar's set to be future chieftain and there was a massacre of all the Czerka workers. Really nothing that interesting."

"Good thing I stayed in the ship then…" Carth said. "Next we have to go to Manaan."

"Are you _sure_ we don't have enough pieces of the Star Map to just go directly to the Star Forge?" Revan whined.

"**Yes**, I'm sure," Bastila said firmly.

"But you didn't even look!" he exclaimed.

"The will of the Force demands we go to Manaan," Bastila said as if that would be the end of it. And in case she were wrong, she added, "And I really need to…_talk_ to you. Alone."

Needless to say, Revan promptly lost all interest in avoiding Manaan and followed Bastila to the quarters she shared with Mission on the ship.

"You remember how you've been…shall we say…expressing an interest in me since we first met?" Bastila asked.

Revan nodded. "How could I forget?"

"Well, a little while ago – around the time you helped me out with my mother – I realized that I feel something for you, as well. Unfortunately, since that goes against the teachings of the Jedi Order I've been trying to convince myself that it's just a part of our bond. I'm not sure that I believe that anymore. You've been such a help to me but I just feel like I'm standing on the edge of this abyss. Giving in might mean falling and I don't think I'd even mind that much. I can't afford to do that. Not when there's so much at stake! Malak must be stopped and then there's you…what will happen to you?" Bastila sounded desperate and pleading with him for understanding. "I was supposed to guide you and help you stay on the light but how can I do that if I'm having my own doubts and am so un-objective besides?"

"Well, you said so yourself that it didn't look like I needed much help," Revan pointed out, making little effort to conceal his elation at her completely unexpected though certainly not unwelcome words. "I don't really understand what you mean about an abyss but if you'd like, I could try to help you. You're very important to me."

"I figured that out at some point," Bastila said a little dryly. "I don't know. This could all just be a result of the Force bond and my hormones but for some reason I really want to kiss you right now."

"Then why not do it?" Revan challenged. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"We could both turn evil and join Malak in conquering the universe," Bastila answered promptly, stepping closer anyway.

"Yeah, that does sound pretty bad from a Jedi perspective," Revan agreed. "But aside from the fact that the Sith have far better fashion sense than anyone I've seen on the opposition, I'd say that while that's entirely possible it's incredibly improbable. What's the worst that could probably happen?"

"We could fall in love," Bastila said quietly, still slowly moving closer.

"Would that really be so bad?" Revan asked softly.

Bastila looked torn. "I don't…" she started to say before giving up and kissing him.

It was, needless to say, the best roughly three minutes Revan had had in quite awhile before Carth's suddenly really obnoxious voice sounded from the intercom. "Hey guys, I hope I'm not interrupting something but we just got caught in the tractor beam of the Leviathan – which is Malak's flagship for those that don't know – and we really should have a group meeting and try to figure out some sort of plan."

"We should have left him on Kashyyyk," Revan grumbled.

"That's probably why he didn't get off the ship," Bastila pointed out reasonably though she seemed to share Revan's frustration at being interrupted so soon. "And then we'd need to find a new pilot."

"Since Carth just got us captured, would that really be such a bad thing?" Revan asked.

Nevertheless, the pair made their way to the cockpit where everyone else was already assembled.

"I'm telling you, it's not my fault!" Carth was saying as they walked in.

"Republic, you were flying the damn ship! How is not your fault?" Canderous demanded.

"They must have been waiting for us to leave Kashyyyk," Carth defended. "They certainly swooped down on me out of nowhere practically the minute we left the planet."

"Yeah, swooping is _bad_," Revan murmured.

T3 beeped something at him.

"Please, I predate that by over six years," Revan said stubbornly. "So if anything, _he_ stole that line from _me_."

"How would they have 'just happened' to be waiting for us?" Canderous challenged.

"They probably know we're after the Star Maps," Revan pointed out. "And so they just picked a planet and waited until we showed up."

"We need to think of some sort of plan," Bastila said, taking charge. "Revan and I, of course, can't take part of this because Malak will be expecting us. Jolee is also a Jedi but we just found him and so it should be safe to say that the Sith don't know about him."

"I'll have to excuse myself as well," Carth added. "My old mentor and the man who I now have a burning desire to kill, Saul Karath, is Malak's second-in-command. He'll be on that flagship and he'll be looking for me."

"Okay, so does anyone else have any ideas about how they help us escape? Revan, Carth, and I will probably have to be taken prisoner but there is some leeway with everyone else," Bastila told them.

"I've got nothing," Zaalbar said with a shrug.

"Big surprise," Revan murmured.

"I learned a thing or two from Teroch about how to fake my own death," Canderous offered. "I can engineer an explosion causing me to become unconscious – supposedly to try and free us from the tractor beam – and then after I'm taken to the medical bay my healing implant will kick in and I'll be good to go."

"Eager volunteering: I can activate my dormancy programming which will shut me down. The Sith will take me to their droid bay so they can wipe my memory or disassemble me and then I can reactivate," HK spoke up.

T3 beeped.

"You have a backup memory in case someone tries to cruelly destroy your identity and you can use that and work with HK?" Revan translated. "You're so resourceful!"

"He would be impressed by that," Mission said, rolling her eyes. "As for me, I can taunt the guards until they put me in solitary confinement for torture and then I can pick the pocket of the guard and get out."

"Isn't that…dangerous? What if you can't get out before they torture you?" Bastila asked, concerned.

"Have a little faith, Bastila," Mission said, annoyed.

"What are you going to do?" Carth asked Jolee.

"Do I really _have_ to do anything?" Jolee asked.

"Unless you want to get tortured along with us, I'd recommend it," Revan suggested.

Jolee blinked. That was a good point. "I guess I can use a mind trick on them to get them to separate me from the others and then to let me go. As long as they don't know I'm a Jedi, I shouldn't have any problems."

"Normally, I'd recommend just picking one plan so people would be less likely to get caught but we're out of time so let's try everything," Bastila said just as the Ebon Hawk was pulled into the Leviathan's docking bay.

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	23. No One Cares, Carth

Chapter Twenty-Three

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

As Revan stood around in a Force Cage in his underwear with Bastila and Carth similarly clothed and in their own cages, he was pondering several things. First and foremost, of course, was just how pleased he was to see the woman who he had just been interrupted while making out with in her undergarments despite how non-ideal the situation might have been. Then was the annoyance that Carth and whoever was planning on coming in here to deal with them would also get to see that. There was also some pride in that he looked far better in his underwear than Carth did and some apprehension about what was going to happen when their interrogator finally got there. That was all expected. What _wasn't_ quite so expected was the bizarre feeling that maybe he shouldn't have just stood around and gotten captured but instead fought his way out. It would be really inconveniencing, of course, but torture was probably going to be more so and as only HK knew his way around the ship (and would be unlikely to help the others find a faster path so he could kill more people) it would be quite awhile before they were found. What was wrong with him, to be considering that?

"Whatever happens, be sure to tell him _nothing_," Bastila told them both sternly.

"I can't imagine they'd just **happen** to be waiting for us as we left Kashyyyk without knowing what we were after," Carth argued. "If they ask us basic questions like that then they'll just be toying with us."

"But we shouldn't risk it," Bastila insisted. "What's a little torture when the fate of the galaxy is at stake?"

"You've never been tortured before, I take it," Revan said wryly, having no plans to invite their captors to torture them any more than necessary and certainly not for something stupid like this that he didn't actually care about.

Bastila cocked her head. "No, I haven't. Have you?"

"It's…a long story," Revan said shortly.

Before Bastila had a chance to ask him any more, the door slid open to reveal Saul Karath.

"I'm going to kill you for what you did to Taris, Saul," Carth said dangerously. "For what you did to my wife. For the fact that my _son_ almost became one of you!"

" 'Almost'?" Revan repeated.

"It doesn't count!" Carth cried out.

"Yes, that's very nice, Carth," Karath said, stifling a yawn. "Except no one really cares about you as you can't even use the Force."

"Neither can you," Carth pointed out, his eye twitching.

"Yes and that's why I have such a high life insurance policy," Karath explained. "Besides, the fact that I am the one outside of the cage and able to torture you, possibly to death if I'm willing to have Lord Malak kill me too, means that I am – for this one brief, shining moment – actually relevant."

"It occurs to me that perhaps your self-esteem issues are why you became such an evil bastard," Bastila remarked.

"I don't have self-esteem issues!" Saul insisted. He coughed. "I mean, um…Now, Lord Malak is far more interested in the likes of Bastila and Revan. Bastila as she's the vaunted 'Only Hope of the Republic' and Revan because, well, _Revan_."

"Everyone always says that," Carth said suspiciously. "Why is that? What do you know that I don't?"

"A great many things, I'm sure," Karath said condescendingly. "And it would take far too long to try and explain it to you. So like I said, no one cares about you but what about the Jedi? Bastila might turn but it would take at least a week of torture to do that. What about you, Revan? We all know that your loyalties have proven rather…flexible in the past, to put it mildly."

"What about me?" Revan asked flatly. "I could go to Malak right now begging on my hands and knees for him to spare me and while he would find the image amusing for awhile he would ultimately never be able to trust me and so dispose of me. Besides, he tried to kill me. A lot."

"That's just the way of the Sith, Revan; you of all people should know that," Karath replied.

Revan shrugged. "Maybe but I haven't actually been nearly killed by any of the current people I'm travelling with and I've got to say, that's really working for me."

"I suppose I can leave it at that," Karath decided. "And after all, if I were to manage to turn you then what fun would Lord Malak get to have? He won't be here for a few hours, though, and so I may as well get the preliminary questioning out of the way."

"We'll never tell you anything, Saul!" Carth cried out heroically.

"No, I'm sure _you_ won't," Karath agreed. "But we've already talked about how nobody cares about you and about how Revan is loyalty-challenged as well as seeking to avoid any inconvenience."

"I hate how you're making that sound like I have some sort of disability," Revan complained.

"You might," Karath remarked, "but can you honestly tell me who or what you're loyal to besides yourself?"

Revan opened his mouth.

"Droids don't count," Karath said quickly.

"Racist," Revan accused.

"They're not _actually_ people, you know," Karath said, a little irritated.

"It's like, do you actually hear yourself right now?" Revan wondered.

"I don't need to _hear_ myself since I'm the one actually choosing the words to say," Karath replied. "Although, since I'm not deaf, yes I do actually hear myself."

"Then you should be ashamed," Revan said flatly.

Karath ignored this and got back to what he was originally saying. "Normally, I would say that I would torture you for every time you lied or refused to answer but I realize that being tortured would make it more difficult for you to answer. Instead, I will torture Bastila. I cannot imagine that you really care for her but she is, at least, very pretty and I know you dislike watching pretty people in pain. Just so you have a full understanding of what is you're risking, let's zap Bastila once now."

He pressed a button on the control pan in front of him and Bastila immediately began convulsing as electricity came down from the top of the Force Cage and struck at her. Revan was reminded uncomfortably of that time on Korriban where Bastila had willingly gone through much the same thing in order to save that wannabe Sith student whose name he couldn't even recall. He had vowed not to just sit back idly and watch that again. But how could he stop it?

"I see that I've got your attention," Karath said with satisfaction as the electricity faded from Bastila's cage. "First question: Where is the Jedi Academy located? And I don't mean the one on Coruscant because we all know about that one."

Revan knew that Bastila would want him to say nothing. She had said as much just before Karath had come in, after all, and getting hit with electricity one time for a few seconds wasn't enough to break _anybody_ let alone someone as strong as her. Her resolve hadn't wavered yet. It would soon but not yet. Just the same…he and Malak had spent quite some time on the Dantooine Academy. Malak knew exactly where it was and even if Karath didn't, he hardly needed to get the information out of **them**. He was just trying to make the 'betray their principles' or allow themselves to get tortured to keep a secret that wasn't even really a secret. "Dantooine. It's on Dantooine."

"Revan-" Bastila started to say, horrified.

"Ah, so it is. Lord Malak knew this already, obviously, and he's just returning from there where he bombarded the planet and killed every last Force-sensitive being there."

"Unless their surviving was the will of the Force," Revan pointed out, completely unconcerned.

"Well, except for those people," Karath admitted. "But surely we got _most_ of them."

"All the useful people are the ones destined to live," Revan continued.

"Aren't you supposed to be traumatized by our great evil?" Karath demanded. "Instead of trying to take the wind out of my sails."

Revan shrugged. "I'm no stranger to the Sith, Karath, and you know it. Besides, those people were annoying and stupid anyway so it's not like you even chose a sympathetic target."

"Yeah, I guess you were pretending to be one of them for all of two days back on Korriban," Carth agreed, completely misunderstanding.

Karath started cracking up. "Did you…did you _really_ have to apply for entrance to the Korriban Academy?"

"I'm not even going to answer that," Revan said, a little embarrassed.

"I don't blame you," Carth told him. "The thought of having to be a Sith, even just a pretend one and for only two days, is the stuff of nightmares. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a true Sith."

Karath stared at him. "Is he for real?"

"Hey, you've known him longer than I have," Revan replied. "In fact, wasn't he your protégé or something?"

"Or something," agreed Karath. "But he really wasn't like this before Taris…"

"Then you only have yourself to blame," Revan said indifferently.

Bastila was looking expectantly at him.

"That said, I'm very, very sad that the Jedi were killed although I am also kind of wondering why Bastila and I didn't feel any kind of disturbance in the Force from that," Revan said perfunctorily.

"You know, you could at least _pretend_ to care that the Jedi Masters are dead!" Bastila snapped.

"But I AM pretending to care," Revan protested.

"Well put some more effort into it then," Bastila instructed.

"You're never satisfied," Revan complained. "I'm starting to suspect that you might, in fact, be high-maintenance."

"_High-maintenance_?" Bastila demanded outraged. "I'll have you know that-"

"Can we just move on?" Karath asked wearily. "Now I remember why no one else would agree to come in and talk to you…What is your current mission?"

There was no way that Karath couldn't know this. Carth was right, it was just too much of a coincidence for the Leviathan to 'just happen' to be waiting for them outside of Kashyyyk and even if they had just gotten lucky and realized that the Ebon Hawk was on the planet, the fact that the Star Map was really the only interesting thing on that planet and that Malak knew that they had already been to Dantooine meant that he'd figure it out before long. Malak was a bit of a brute who always insisted on doing things the hard way but he wasn't stupid. "We were tracking down the Star Maps."

"Why don't you go ahead and tell him the Republic's top-secret military strategies while you're at it," Bastila said, irritated.

"I don't actually know any top-secret Republic military strategies," Revan pointed out.

"And this is exactly why!" Bastila fumed.

"And since I don't I might as well claim that I would never reveal those if I knew them even though we all know that 'never' is such a strong word," Revan said lamely.

"You're really bad at this," Carth said judgmentally.

"It happens," Revan said, unconcerned.

"I knew you'd be reasonable," Karath said smugly. It was really too bad the Force wouldn't reach through these cages or Revan would be Force Crushing him right about now. "And how did you learn about the Star Maps?"

Now that was an interesting question. Bastila knew he was Revan but didn't appear to notice the rather obvious fact that he was also aware of this, Karath knew that he was Revan and didn't seem to realize that he was supposed to have amnesia, and Carth was chronically suspicious of him but didn't know that he was Revan. He really didn't want to risk Carth killing him for the whole Revan thing or deal with a lecture from Bastila about how he should have made it _more_ obvious that he knew who he was. He could say that he had had a 'vision' which was what the official story was but that was just how Bastila and the others had found out about it. "I had heard rumors of the Star Forge out beyond the Outer Rim."

"I must say, I'm a little disappointed that you've proven so cooperative," Karath said, almost sadly. "I had wanted to see you all turn against each other but I suppose you'll have to deal with Bastila's wrath for being honest with me. Later. For now, I'm going to leave you with a little preview of what you can expect when Lord Malak returns."

Revan blearily opened his eyes. It hurt to breathe. Well, it had been quite some time since he had felt like that.

"Are you okay?" Bastila asked worriedly.

"If I say 'no' would it matter?" Revan asked, shakily forcing himself to his feet.

"Saul has turned into such a sadistic bastard," Carth said angrily. "He tortured all of us but you got the worst of it by far. He kept going long after you passed out from the pain."

"The dark side can corrupt even the most noble of souls," Bastila opined.

Carth just shook his head. "Don't make excuses for him, Bastila."

"I…Revan…I am forced to admit that I am a little grateful that you didn't allow me to be tortured extra," Bastila admitted. Of course, if he tortured Bastila and Carth just until they passed out from pain then chances were that it didn't actually make a difference as an early jolt of electricity would have caused her to pass out sooner later. Still, no need to bring up uncertain possibilities like that. "Though I fear what may happen now that Malak knows all of this."

"I know Karath," Carth said grimly. "And he didn't ask any questions that he didn't know the answer to already, believe me. He was just toying with us. I could see it in his eyes."

"I figured as much," Revan agreed. "Plus I couldn't willingly allow Bastila to suffer."

Bastila's gaze softened. "That's sweet, Revan. I only hope that doesn't end up coming back to haunt us."

Revan was about to ask her how the fact he didn't want her to get hurt could possibly come back to haunt them when the door slid open again. Everyone tensed, expecting Karath back but it wasn't him. Instead, everyone else from their group – including Zaalbar – came pouring into the room.

"Sorry we took so long," Mission apologized. "We got here as fast as we could but HK gave us lousy directions. We must have killed everyone _on_ this level before getting here."

"Blatant lie: It's been quite some time since I've been here so I must have been mistaken," HK replied.

"You really don't want to know about the time we had," Zaalbar announced. "Honestly, attempting to get here to rescue you was perhaps the most insane, bizarre, and outright random think that I've ever been called upon to do."

"I vote that we never speak of it again," Jolee suggested.

"Seconded," Canderous echoed the sentiment.

"Can someone just hurry up and get us out of these?" Revan asked, annoyed.

T3 beeped in the affirmative and went over and connected to the interface. Seconds later, they were freed.

"We'll need to split up," Bastila decided. "One group needs to secure the ship so that we can be ready to leave the moment the other group arrives and the second group needs to get to the bridge and open up the docking bay doors."

"I have a score to settle with Saul and I'll likely meet him on the bridge," Carth announced. "So I'm going after him."

"Right, I cannot in good conscience let you go off alone all set on vengeance so I suppose I'll be accompanying you," Bastila decided. "Revan should probably hurry up and get off of this ship before Malak comes back so maybe Jolee-"

"Bastila," Revan cut her off, deciding that there was definitely something wrong with him. "This has 'bad idea' written all over this. You're the _Republic's Only Hope_. Malak would jump at the chance to take you and turn you."

"I'm not quite so weak-willed as that, Revan," Bastila said, completely misunderstanding what he was trying to say.

"I'm not saying that you are but if he has you then he can keep trying to turn you indefinitely and sooner or later you will crack. The stronger you are, the longer it may take to happen or the harder he'll have to try but no one can resist forever. And even if you could, I don't want to leave you at his mercy," Revan told her.

"Jedi ruin everything," Canderous muttered, annoyed.

"See, that's what I've been trying to tell you people!" Jolee said blithely.

"But if you get caught that could end up making all of this even worse," Bastila told him.

"So let's just both not get caught," Revan suggested. "And the easiest way to do that would be if neither of us ended up going."

Bastila hesitated. "I would love to not have to run the risk of getting captured and tortured until I become a Sith but I just can't let Carth go down this dark path alone. I need to be there for him."

"No, you really don't," Carth assured her. "I know exactly what I'm doing here and, as a non-Force sensitive, I won't snap and turn evil at the drop of a hat like one of you might."

"You sure about that, Republic?" Canderous asked him. "Your son is Force-sensitive and from what I understand, these things usually run in families."

"Besides," Bastila continued as if she hadn't heard any of that, "it's always useful to have a Jedi along in a fight and if we DO run into Darth Malak then without a Jedi then the group would be utterly helpless. Mind you, I don't think we'd do much better with a Jedi but it could give one of us time to sacrifice ourselves and to allow the others to escape."

"And by 'one of us' you mean 'you'," Revan said flatly. It wasn't a question.

"You're too important to be risked," Bastila told him softly. "If I turn, my battle meditation would be catastrophic if used against the Republic but if someone got to me then I could be killed. If _you_ turned and Malak convinced you to actually work against the Republic-"

"Which is really no guarantee," Carth interjected.

"Then all hope would be lost," Bastila finished.

Revan said nothing for a moment, realizing that she was right. "Maybe Jolee could-"

"Hell no," Jolee cut him off.

Revan made a face. "I never thought I'd say this but we really should have brought that one Jedi who wanted to come back on Dantooine. She seemed like the self-sacrificing sort."

"It wouldn't have been worth it," Mission disagreed. "I mean, she'd have been with us _the whole time_! I realize you're being hormonal and whatnot but SO not worth it."

Revan took a deep breath, pointedly ignoring her. "If you say that you're going to go with Carth and risk capture by Darth Malak then I really can't stop you but _you_ can't stop _me_ either."

"What do you mean?" Bastila asked, frowning lightly.

"I'm coming with you," Revan announced. "Maybe this will all blow up in our faces and maybe we're making a big deal about nothing and we'll get away without Malak coming anywhere near us."

"Helpful hint: If Malak _does_ barely manage to catch up with you, perhaps you should look back at this moment and realize that if you hadn't spent the last ten minutes arguing about who was going it would have been fine," HK told them.

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	24. The Shocking Reveal

Chapter Twenty-Four

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"You know, I'm almost _glad_ that they decided not to tell us what they'd been doing on their way to rescue us," Carth remarked, a little disturbed. "And I honestly never thought I'd been saying that." Neither had Revan, really, since Carth always obsessively needed to know _everything_.

Revan nodded his agreement. He didn't particularly want to know why some of the corpses looked like all of the blood had been drained from them, the walls had splotches of lime green everywhere, and there were gizka hopping around. His mind couldn't help but try to piece it together, against his wishes, but fortunately it didn't seem to be having a lot of luck. The more relevant question than _how _was _who_ and he didn't really want to know that either. He should probably just chuck it up to Mission or someone. She was certainly devious enough.

"I can feel Admiral Karath inside this door," Bastila cautioned. "We won't be able to leave without confronting him, it seems."

"I wouldn't be leaving without doing that anyway," Carth declared. "So really, this works for me. I'm glad that the Force or whatever was so obliging by placing him here."

"Just…remember what I said, okay?" Bastila implored him. "Do not become a monster in order to destroy one."

"I'll be fine," Carth insisted, not really listening, before pressing the button to open the door.

"I don't really see what that saying even means," Revan complained.

Bastila sighed and looked a bit worried. "I was afraid of that…"

"No, I mean, seriously," Revan told her. "He's just going to kill the one guy who screwed over his entire planet and got his wife killed and turned his son into an idiot who thought joining the people who killed his world and mother while blaming his dad for being busy was a good idea." He paused. "Wait, actually that last one might not be his fault. But the other people on the bridge will inevitably be attacking so killing them, too, is strictly self-defense."

"What if he kills him in an especially brutal way?" Bastila queried. "Thus becoming what he hates?"

"I hardly think that Carth will then go around brutally murdering everyone or turn evil or anything," Revan replied. "He's not a Jedi so he doesn't get to turn evil at the drop of a hat, you know. The galaxy just won't stand for it. Even if he kills Karath in the most brutal way imaginable, that's still really not putting him in the same league as Karath."

"Well, morally-" Bastila started to say.

"You are _so_ reaching," Revan accused.

Karath looked up when the three entered the room and groaned. "Great. _Just_ great. Lord Malak will be here within twenty minutes and the prisoners choose **now** to break out and come to kill me."

"If that's true, we need to hurry," Bastila told Carth urgently.

"There's no point in hurrying," Revan opined. "After all, if the Force wants us to meet Malak then we'll meet Malak and if we're meant to avoid him then we'll avoid him."

"I'm still not comfortable taking such a fatalistic 'whatever happens happens' approach," Bastila retorted.

Revan peered inquisitively at her. "Are you _sure_ you're a Jedi?"

"I've heard that one shouldn't take vengeance in haste but should go slowly to enjoy it," Carth declared. "But I've never bought that. As long as you die at my hands, Karath, it doesn't matter to me how I do it. And I think that enjoying bloody vengeance might be a bit worrisome anyway…"

"See?" Revan asked brightly. "He's just going to kill Karath, no extremely violent death is necessary."

"I still don't care about your petty planet," Karath told him frankly.

"Although, unlike Revan, he can actually remember it," Bastila muttered.

Revan tilted his head. "Did something happen to Carth's planet? Um…Taris, right?"

Carth twitched. "_Telos_."

Karath raised a hand. "Guards?"

With that, the battle was on. Bastila and Revan dealt with everyone on the bridge who didn't happen to be Karath as Carth did a wonderful job of completely and utterly avoiding doing anything except chasing the Admiral around the room. Eventually, he cornered him and pulled out a vibroblade – where had he gotten that? – and started to stab him to death.

Bastila watched uneasily for awhile before crying out, horrified. "Carth!"

Carth stopped. "What?" he asked, puzzled. He looked at Karath and, more specifically, at the eighteen stab wounds. "Oh. Well, I guess that's good enough."

"Oh, sure, because he doesn't _need_ any especially bloody vengeance," Bastila said sarcastically.

Revan shrugged. "Well, he didn't _need_ it," he insisted. "He just happened to ultimately choose that option out of all the various options that were available to him."

"I don't know," Bastila disagreed. "I saw him with that vibroblade and he looked like a man possessed."

"It seems to me, Bastila, that if a man is _possessed_ then it doesn't make much sense to blame him for whatever actions he happens to undertake," Revan replied.

Bastila rolled her eyes. "Oh, you know what I mean!"

"Do I?" Revan asked her. "Do I _really_?"

"Carth…before you die there's something I need to tell you," Karath managed to say in between his coughs.

Revan shot him a look. "Before _Carth_ dies? You're the one with eighteen stab wounds."

"True," Karath admitted. "I guess I'm just more used to having other people die instead of me. And that is, generally, my preferred outcome."

"Well, whatever it is hurry up and tell me," Carth ordered. "I really don't care one way or another but I'm worried that if I don't hear you out then I'll get all paranoid about it in the future."

"Don't get too close," Revan warned. "He might try to kill you."

"I," Carth sniffed, looking almost offended, "_never_ get too close."

"Revan…is actually…_Revan_," Karath revealed dramatically.

Carth's eyes widened. "What? Are you saying…_what_? That's not true! That **can't** be true!"

"It's difficult to believe, I know, but it's entirely true!" Karath laughed. "Remember this as you look upon those that you once saw as your friends…" His laughter trailed off shortly after and then so did his breathing.

"You knew all along, didn't you!" Carth accused Bastila. He seemed to be under the impression that she and Revan hadn't heard what Karath had said but also that Bastila should know what he was talking about.

"Well…yes," Bastila admitted.

"And you're still getting involved with him?" Carth demanded, having some difficult wrapping his mind around this himself.

"Believe me, I've been wondering whether this was the best move myself for quite some time," Bastila told him. "But this is far more complicated than you think and we need him, both to find the Star Forge and because of his incredible power. You know that."

"If it's more complicated than I think then I'm going to have to insist on hearing all about it," Carth said flatly. "It's not like I don't trust you and the Jedi, Bastila but…oh, who am I kidding? I don't trust you and the Jedi."

"I'll tell you everything, I promise," Bastila vowed. "Just not here, not now."

"Why, you're afraid Revan would hear?" Carth asked.

"Well, that and the fact that Malak's going to be here any minute," Revan spoke up, reminding them that he was standing right there.

"Alright, I suppose that I'll trust your word for now, Bastila," Carth said reluctantly. "But I'm going to need some answers and soon."

"Hey, what do you think the odds are that Carth is secretly thrilled that this happens because now he actually gets to demand answers for once?" Revan wondered.

"There is a good chance I'm going to kill you," Carth informed Revan bluntly.

Revan shrugged. "People try that all the time. They rarely do me the courtesy of warning me first, however. Thanks. I appreciate it."

Revan, Carth, and Bastila stopped their mad dash towards the Ebon Hawk when Malak stepped through a door and into their path.

"I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila," Malak said mockingly.

"Sorry to break it to you, Malak, but your hospitality is terrible," Revan spoke up.

"Karath never did have any finesse," Malak agreed easily. "I assume you killed him for it?"

"Or rather, Carth did," Revan said gesturing towards the only non-Force user present. "I think that he also said something about the death and destruction of his entire planet."

"It is so very tiring when people take those kinds of things personally," Malak opined.

Carth responded by attempting to shoot Malak, who casually deflected the blast and then summoned Carth's weapons to him.

"See, now that was rude," Malak lectured. "And also rather futile. You completely missed me and even if you didn't, two blaster bolts is barely enough to kill one of my _minions_. I'm made of rather sturdier stuff than that."

"I'm going to kill you," Carth growled.

"No," Malak assured him. "You're not. Now, kindly accept the fact that you're irrelevant here and let me focus on Revan and Bastila."

"That was kind of rude, too," Revan pointed out.

"Sometimes one must be cruel to be kind," Malak said nobly.

"And sometimes one is simply being rude," Revan argued.

"Darth Malak," Bastila finally deigned to speak.

"Yes, yes, we all know who I am," Malak responded. "I'm more curious, however, about Revan. I had heard some sort of a rumor that, despite the fact that he had the exact same name, the Jedi seemed to think that he had amnesia and didn't realize that he was _Revan_. I didn't believe that anyone could be so stupid at first but then I remembered that I wasn't just talking about anyone but rather Jedi and suddenly that scenario became a lot more plausible."

Bastila turned to look at Revan, horrified. "Are you saying…does Revan realize that he's _Revan_?"

"What's with all the emphasis on my name?" Revan wondered. "Does saying it with a different inflection automatically make it the name of a former Sith Lord?"

"…Is that a yes?" Bastila wanted to know.

Revan smacked his forehead. "Yes, that's a yes."

"How long have you known?" Bastila asked fearfully. Despite the fact that he'd known before now, she clearly expected knowing to transform him into an evil and more motivated person who would immediately side with Malak and capture her while killing Carth.

Revan shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "I'm honestly not sure. It's been awhile."

"How can you _not_ be sure?" Carth cried out, looking very much betrayed.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Well it's not like I made a note in my journal that I had just realized this."

"I didn't know you had a journal," Carth said suspiciously. "And given how many times I've gone through your things, that really seems like the kind of thing that I _would_ know. What else are you hiding from me?"

"Relax, Carth, I don't have a journal," Revan assured him. "Which might explain why I never wrote that information down in it."

"So what now, Revan?" Malak challenged. "You know the truth, you've known it for awhile. Bastila and the Jedi have been lying to you and this Republic soldier clearly doesn't understand boundaries."

"What do you mean?" Revan asked carefully.

"Join me," Malak proposed. "We can go back to conquering the galaxy. We're so very close to victory, you know. You can tell just how desperate the Jedi are if they're trying to use _you_ against me."

"We tried that once, Malak," Revan reminded him. "That didn't end so well."

"This time, I'll be the one considered to be in charge," Malak explained. "That way you won't have to worry about me getting jealous again and trying to kill you. You never wanted to be the figurehead in the first place and it'll really be a lot easier than trying to bring me down would be."

"That's a good point…" Revan acknowledged, considering the possibility.

"NO!" Bastila cried out. "Revan, that's a horrible point! He's evil, remember? And he may try to kill you again! And he tortures and kills those that don't submit blindly to him."

"And you tried to completely destroy Revan which is far worse than any death I inflict would be," Malak shot back.

"…We didn't succeed?" Bastila said a little lamely.

"Yeah, the Jedi don't really have the moral high ground here, Bastila," Revan pointed out.

"Well neither do you," Bastila snapped. "You started a war and are a mass-murderer!"

"To be fair, I was only worried that the Republic wouldn't be able to stand up to the true Sith out beyond the Outer Rim," Revan defended himself. "And don't even get me started about how badly the Yuuzhan Vong would destroy us. I mean, those people exist outside of the Force so it's not like the Jedi _or_ the Sith would be much help against them. Well, not without getting very creative…"

"What are you even talking about?" Bastila asked, looking confused.

"Is now really the time to go about explaining about the interesting species we met while we were off chasing after Mandalorians?" Malak asked pointedly.

Revan shrugged. "I guess not."

"Revan, this is getting ridiculous," Carth complained. "Just hurry up and side with us or else everything you've done since the Leviathan attacked the Endar Spire will have been a complete and total waste of effort."

Unable to face the thought of having to exert himself on more than one occasion for what was, essentially, a waste of time, Revan quickly pulled out and activated his lightsaber as Malak waved a hand and froze Carth and Bastila in stasis. Malak activated his lightsaber as well and the battle was on.

"You know I can beat you one-on-one," Revan said matter-of-factly as Malak began weakening under his attack.

"That is true," Malak concurred. "And it's why I tried to kill you with a ship and then by utterly destroying the planet you were on. Killing you is difficult. Killing, say, the Republic's Only Hope as she's frozen in stasis, however…" Malak waved his hand and his ignited lightsaber flew in Bastila's direction.

Quickly, Revan responded by using the Force to pull Bastila out of the way. Just as he did that, he felt something heavy hit the back of his head and the world went dark.

Revan's eyes opened slowly. There was far too much light there.

"Hey, he's awake!" Mission called out. There was a thunder of footsteps and Revan sat up in time to see Carth, T3, HK, Zaalbar, Canderous, and Jolee hurry into the room.

"What happened?" Revan asked.

"While you were distracted saving Bastila, Malak used the Force to throw a large crate at your head," Carth explained crisply. "You were knocked out."

"Where's Bastila?" Revan demanded.

Carth hesitated.

"Tell me, now," Revan snapped.

"You were unconscious and you already saw how ineffectual my efforts against Malak were," Carth replied. "Malak didn't want me, either. He was willing to let himself get distracted by Bastila so that he could take try and turn her and her Battle Meditation to her side. She told me to take you and run. Bastila's still back there with Malak."

"Damn it," Revan swore. "He'll never let her out of his sight until he's well and truly convinced that she's turned and I don't even want to think about what he'll do to her to get her to turn. And then there's no guarantee that I'll even see her again to try and save her. Bastila's a powerful Jedi but her biggest value is through her Battle Meditation and he'll know that she won't be able to defeat me, much less kill me. Unless he's counting on me being too _sentimental_ to face her…"

"As much as I hate to say this, there isn't a lot we can do for Bastila now," Carth said reluctantly. "We barely escaped the Leviathan and we can't afford to go back. We'll have to just keep going for now."

"You can't mean going to Manaan," Revan said disbelieving. "There is every chance that Malak will realize we're there and go after us."

"Manaan is neutral," Canderous pointed out. "And no one wants to risk their supply of Kolto. He won't go after us personally there although he may instruct his Sith on the planet to attack us discretely. Either way, it's probably the safest choice on the 'where can we go that Malak will find us but won't kill us' front."

"We _really_ can't just go to the Star Forge," Revan asked pleadingly.

"I really don't think we have enough information to be able to accurately find it," Carth replied, shaking his head. "Although I'm not looking forward to this either. Before we do anything else, though, I think we need to deal with the Bantha in the room."

"We already know that Bastila and Revan are involved," Zaalbar pointed out.

Carth looked blank.

"He says that we already know that Bastila and Revan are involved," Mission dutifully translated accurately for once. "Oh, and he's also reminding you that you're a racist."

"Duly noted," Carth said dryly. "Revan, would you like to tell them or should I?"

"You can feel free to announce it," Revan said indifferently. "It's not really much of a secret as far as I can tell."

"Alright, I will," Carth said determinedly. "Everyone…Revan is, in fact, _Revan_."

"You only just figured this out now?" Jolee asked incredulously.

"W-what?" Needless to say, this was not the reaction Carth had been expecting.

"Annoyed assertion: I told you that Revan built me and mentioned the meatbag Malak on several occasions," HK noted.

T3 beeped something to confirm that he had also known this great secret.

"I did not know this but it doesn't change the fact that I swore a life debt to him and he saved my people," Zaalbar declared.

"So aside from him calling me a racist, what did he say?" Carth asked.

"He doesn't really care," Mission answered. "And for that matter, neither do I."

"But…he killed thousands if not millions of people!" Carth protested.

Mission shrugged. "Life happens."

"I agree," Canderous said approvingly. "I was not previously aware of this though I feel that I probably should have been. After all, who else but Revan could get so much accomplished while caring so very little and having to be prompted literally every step of the way?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, you guys," Revan said dryly.

"Well I'm still having problems with this," Carth said angrily. "Revan ordered Saul to destroy my home!"

"_Please_," Canderous countered. "Everyone knows that it was **Malak** who ordered the attack on Telos."

"Telos was attacked? When did this happen?" Revan helpfully asked.

"I…you know what, fine," Carth said resignedly. "With Bastila gone, we can't very well do this without him and my loyalty to the Republic is marginally more important to me than my hatred of all things Sith. I can deal with Revan for now but if he so much as _thinks_ about betraying us again…"

Revan decided not to point out that his attempt at killing him would probably go down about as well as his attempt to kill Malak had. If he actually ever _did_ try it then he'd find out for himself. Or Revan would be _really _embarrassed once he became one with the Force or whatever. After dying, Jedi were supposed to be free of such petty emotions but Revan didn't want to sell himself short; he was pretty sure that he could manage it.

Review Please!


	25. Getting Manaan Over With

Chapter Twenty-Five

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Carth had had a mild panic attack and nearly flown them into a sun once he realized that he was the only one on board now with any intention of trying to keep Revan from falling to the dark side again and everyone else either didn't care or was actively working to make him even more amoral. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the fact that they had already been to Korriban, Jolee probably wouldn't have been able to talk him down. Nonetheless, Carth insisted on going absolutely everywhere with Revan until they got Bastila back even if he didn't speak Selkatha. The fact he couldn't bring himself to stay in the ship again put him in a rather foul mood as they exited the _Ebon Hawk_, especially since HK had refused to go with them once he heard the words 'strictly enforced neutrality' (though Carth had to admit that that was probably for the best). They quickly encountered a member of the Republic army arguing with a Sith.

"Stop staring at me!" the Republic guy shouted. "You know that if you use your evil Sith evilness to kill me by sight alone then you'll totally get kicked off the planet!"

"For the love of-!" the Sith protested. "Just what do you think we Sith are?"

"Monsters!" the Republic declared.

"I just joined up because I have a family to support and Malak pays better," the Sith told him. "Medical bills aren't cheap, you know, and the added taxes to pay for this was are just more than I can afford!"

"Well…I didn't mean to…I just…you're a Sith!" Republic said helplessly.

"I'm just going to leave now," the Sith decided coolly before spinning on his heels and walking away.

"Damned neutrality," the Republic soldier grumbled under his breath. "If it weren't for this I could have just shot him and not had to have him make me feel like a jackass."

"Maybe the problem of you feeling like a jackass lies with you and not with the fact you're not allowed to go around randomly killing people," Mission suggested.

"Them's fighting words," the Republic guy said, all fired up.

"Not on Manaan," Zaalbar pointed out.

The guy slumped. "Oh, right."

"Even this guy can understand him!" Carth cried out incredulously. "This is so unfair."

"Maybe instead of complaining about how unfair it is that everyone else has taken the time to learn my language, you should consider taking the time to learn my language. It might actually save you time in the end," Zaalbar suggested.

"He thinks you're racist," Mission loosely translated.

"Well, yes, but not what I said," Zaalbar replied.

"You know, if you were really dedicated to the cause then you should have just let him kill you and then allowed your sacrifice to get the Republic a monopoly on Kolto," Canderous said, unimpressed.

The Republic soldier glared at him. "Not helping. I just joined up because I thought they'd have a cool uniform anyway. Unfortunately…they didn't. I really should have done some more research before signing that contract."

"You should see what the Sith are wearing," Revan spoke up. "It's pretty amazing."

"I know, right?" Republic gushed. "I am so jealous!"

"The Republic should really let me design their outfits," Revan mused.

"_You'd_ probably make them evil," Carth said disdainfully.

"Really? An evil outfit?" Zaalbar asked skeptically.

"I'm sure it's possible," Jolee said diplomatically. "But Revan would probably have the sense not to do that. The Sith outfits aren't evil after all."

"The Star Forge makes evil outfits," Revan told them. "But, well, the good outfits are just really really hideous and so everyone wears them anyway. Although none of the evil outfits are as nice as that one evil outfit that I have."

"Do the evil outfits actually turn people evil?" Carth demanded.

Revan looked surprised. "I don't know. I don't feel like it's turned me evil."

"Well you're not reliable or objective even if I could trust that you weren't lying," Carth accused.

"Then why even ask me in the first place?" Revan wondered aloud.

Carth ignored that. "Can only evil people wear evil outfits?"

"That doesn't even make any sense," Revan said, rolling his eyes. "How would things like alignment or specialization or dexterity or anything else prevent you from putting on a piece of equipment? Maybe for some things you might not be able to use the equipment as well but it's not like you try to put the evil robes on and there's this invisible wall stopping your or something if you're not evil enough."

"Then how do you know that they're evil?" Jolee asked reasonably.

Carth seized on that. "Yes! Exactly!"

Revan thought about that. "Um…well, it's just a feeling you get, you know? Definitely evil."

"And that doesn't bother you?" Jolee asked.

"Of _course_ it doesn't," Carth scoffed. "He's evil!"

"Very few things bother me to the point that I'll do something about them," Revan replied. "And I'm very fashion-conscious. I'm used to it anyway."

"And seeing as how I'm not Force sensitive, I wouldn't know an evil feeling if I were wearing something right now that emanates it," Carth declared. He looked down worriedly. "I'm not, am I?"

"You're not," Revan assured him.

Carth glared at him. "Well I don't actually believe you because you're evil."

Revan shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"Look, do you guys actually need anything or can I just go?" Republic asked, annoyed.

"You can just go," Mission told him. "I don't know why you even had to wait for us to dismiss you but…"

Grateful, he all but ran away from them.

"Why does that keep happening?" Mission wondered.

Once Revan had blatantly abused the Force in order to get out of paying a docking fee yet again, they entered Ahto City and found yet another group of Republic soldiers and Sith bickering with each other…or rather a designated spokesperson from each side were arguing.

"What do you think you're playing at, giving a sizeable donation to the Selkaths' 'Keep our kids in school' foundation?" the Republic soldier demanded.

"Oh, so now we're so evil that we can't even donate to a good cause without that being called into question?" the Sith challenged.

"Frankly…yes!" the Republic soldier insisted. "And what's all this nonsense about 'now'? You never could!"

"Look, we just needed another tax deductable and it seemed like a good cause? What's the matter with that?" the Sith asked, exasperated.

"The problem _is_ that everyone knows that you have to do good deeds for selfless reasons or else it doesn't count and you're evil!" the Republic soldier cried out.

"I really think that if you want more good deeds done, you should really relax your 'it must be selfless or it doesn't count' policy," Jolee suggested. "In fact, if you keep advocating that you might see a sharp drop in the number of good deeds we have being done now."

"I know better than you do, Jedi!" the Republic soldier cried out. "It's not like you're part of an order dedicated to selflessly serving the galaxy or anything!"

"Well, you've got me there," Jolee said, shrugging.

"Was that sarcastic, were you denying being a Jedi, or were you saying that the Jedi aren't selfless?" Revan wondered.

"Yes," Jolee replied, nodding.

"And now I remember why I joined the Sith: they are led by a man who views everyone as disposable and thinks killing your superior is a great way to get a promotion but they are _far_ saner than you guys," the Sith declared.

"Alright, break it up, break it up…" a Selkath official said, finally deigning to get involved. "The last one to leave has to pay the fine for disturbance of the peace!"

Needless to say, the area was cleared in a matter of seconds.

"Jolee!" a middle-aged woman cried as she ran up to them.

"Elora?" Jolee asked surprised. "You look upset."

"I am!" Elora cried out. "It's terrible! My husband was having an affair with a Sith girl and now he's on trial for her murder!"

"That must be so hard for you," Jolee said sympathetically. "Well, if that's all-"

"No, it's not all!" Elora interrupted. "His legally-appointed Selkath lawyer is horrible at his job! He wants Sunry to just plead guilty and to say that he acted completely alone and that the Republic had nothing to do with it so that he can get a reduced sentence and the Republic won't lose its supply of Kolto!"

"…That actually sounds like the best option in this case," Carth opined.

"Sunry will never do it," Elora explained. "He's a big war hero, you see, and he's determined that if he's going down he's going to take the Republic down with him."

"Wow, this guy kind of sounds like an ass," Mission remarked. "And I think I'm going to have to question the 'hero' part of his 'war hero' description. I mean, you don't get to be the hero if you're willing to screw over everyone else for your selfish murdering ways."

"What?" Elora demanded. "You don't think that's a perfectly reasonable position to take?"

"Not really, no," Zaalbar disagreed.

"Well… no one asked you," Elora sniffed.

"Actually, you just did," Zaalbar pointed out.

"Wait, so even she can understand him?" Carth couldn't believe it. "I _so_ hate my life."

"It could be worse," Revan told him with a shrug.

"I don't need to hear that from _you_," Carth moaned.

"Would it make you feel better if I mocked your pain?" Revan asked him.

"Actually, yes," Carth told him. "Because then at least I would feel vindicated about my hatred of you and belief that you're evil."

"You're not feeling vindicated now?" Revan asked, surprised.

Carth glared at him.

Revan coughed. "I mean, um, ha ha ha. Puny Republic and his puny racist pain."

"That's better," Carth said, satisfied.

"Anyway, can one of you serve as our new lawyer?" Elora entreated.

"So you feel that your legal representation is so substandard that you'd rather hire strangers off the street?" Canderous asked skeptically.

"Well, it's not like I don't know Jolee and I wouldn't say 'hire' so much but…yes," Elora confirmed.

"Revan?" Jolee asked hopefully.

Revan yawned. "I would but I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to take a nap."

"Carth?" Jolee tried.

Carth hesitated. "Is he actually guilty?"

"Of course he's guilty," Elora told him. "Now…will you help get him off?"

"He murdered his lover!" Carth exclaimed, appalled.

Elora shrugged. "So? She was just a Sith. How many Sith have you killed, anyway? Are you sure that you want to start down this dark road where we consider Sith to be actual people?"

"I've killed them in fair combat," Carth countered, not answering that question because he did not – in fact – consider Sith to be people. "And not in a personal matter where it's more murder than warfare."

"Does that mean you won't help?" Elora asked, disappointed.

"Mission? Zaalbar? Canderous? T3?" Jolee asked, looking a little desperate.

"I'm not legally old enough," Mission said apologetically.

"What are the odds everyone there could understand me?" Zaalbar asked reasonably.

"Justice is much simpler when you just shoot the guilty party," Canderous announced.

T3 apparently also had better things to do.

Jolee sighed. "Ah, fine, whatever. I suppose he really is my friend, after all…damn social obligations…"

"I would love to help you," the official representative of the Republic Embassy Roland Wann told them. "Unfortunately-"

"Great, when do we leave?" Revan cut him off, hoping to avoid having to help him in turn.

"The minute you break into the Sith base and retrieve an illegal droid that we had that the Sith captured which has information so sensitive that should the Sith turn it over to the Selkath we'll get kicked off this planet, lose access to Kolto, and thus lose the war," Roland said flatly.

"You guys have _got_ to stop doing things that will get you kicked off this planet, especially if you're going to keep getting on the verge of being caught and thus kicked off the planet because of them," Mission said, shaking her head. "I mean, I'm no expert on how to conduct a war or anything but _come on_."

"Yeah, I don't like that plan," Revan told him. "How about you let my friends go down there now and _I'll_ go get your droid back?"

Carth looked shocked. "Really, Revan? You're actually…volunteering to do something?"

Revan shrugged. "If it gets me out of having to go down there and look for a Star Map, why not?"

"I'm not sure I trust you to be on your own like that," Carth said disapprovingly. "What if you defect to the Sith?"

"Carth, having someone as clearly pro-Republic with me is probably going to get me caught," Revan pointed out. "As for me converting…well, you'll just have to take that chance."

"I guess that would save time," Roland agreed. "But just so you know, I'm not letting your friends out of this Embassy until you get back with the droid."

"Chances are, I'll be fine," Revan told him. "And I may even get an opportunity to take a nap."

Revan really didn't want to have to do this by himself but with HK refusing to leave the ship, Jolee busy playing lawyer, and Carth, Mission, Zaalbar, Canderous, and T3 off at the bottom of the ocean, he didn't really have much choice. After his nap, he leisurely strolled towards the Sith base.

"What's the password?" the guard asked.

"Let me into the base," Revan said, looking him straight in the eye.

"That is not actually the password but I think I'll let you in anyway," the guard said, standing aside to let Revan pass.

"Hey, who are you and what are you doing here?" a security officer right in the middle of the first room Revan came to demanded.

"Excellent question. Here's a better one: Where is that secret Republic droid?" Revan asked.

Dazed, the woman gave him directions and then wished him a nice day.

Revan frowned. He'd been walking around the base for nearly three-quarters of an hour and he was starting to suspect he was lost.

"Help me!" a dying Selkath pleaded.

Revan looked around automatically for Bastila or Carth to order him to do so. Oh, right. And thinking about Bastila was something he was trying to avoid doing. "Do you know where the Republic droid is?"

"Of course I do," the Selkath said between violent coughs. "But if I'm dead then that won't help you at all."

"So if I heal you, you'll tell me where it is?" Revan asked hopefully.

"I'll take you there myself," the Selkath promised.

Revan knelt down beside the dying Selkath and called upon the Force to bring him back from the verge of death.

"Okay, now that that's done, can we go find that droid?" Revan asked.

"Oh, sure," the Selkath promised. "Of course, we're going to have to walk by the room that my friends are in on our way there. Do you think we have time to stop by and let them know that the Sith are evil and tried to torture me to death because they don't think I'm good enough for them and apparently have never heard of just firing someone?"

Revan shrugged. "So long as I don't have to do anything."

They walked in silence for awhile before the Selkath darted into a room containing several other Selkath kids.

"Hey, where you been?" one of the other Selkath asked him.

"The Sith just tried to torture me to death. I never thought I'd say this but…maybe they might actually be evil," Revan's Selkath said conspiratorially.

"Really?" the first asked skeptically. "I thought that was just something the elders told us so that we wouldn't get awesome new uniforms."

"That's what I thought, too!" Revan's Selkath exclaimed. "But then they were so kind as to hand me a datapad full of incriminating evidence about how evil they are and how they intend to brainwash us and kidnap other Selkath to force into becoming Sith right before they started torturing me. See?" He handed the others the datapad.

"…Well, now I feel rather silly," one of the Selkath said. "Let's get out of here."

"But won't we get in trouble?" another Selkath asked uncertainly.

"Not if we claim that _we_ were some of the kidnapped Selkath," the first replied.

"Great, now that that's settled, can we go get the droid?" Revan asked impatiently.

"Oh, sure," the Selkath nodded. "It's right across the hall. Hurry up and get its memory and then you can follow us out."

How thoughtful. Revan decided he kind of liked the Selkath after all. All of their laws were still kind of stupid, though.

After Revan got out of the base, he decided that he wasn't quite tired enough for another nap and the others weren't back yet so he might as well become a swooping legend on Manaan. In the middle of becoming the most talented swooprider they had ever seen, a Selkath approached him and paid him a vast sum of money for 'rescuing' the Selkath children. Today had been a pretty good day.

"Today was the worst day I have ever had!" Carth complained as he and the others (and Jolee who had apparently caught up with them before they reached him) made their way to Revan's table.

"Those stupid sharks that could kill a man by poking him!" Mission griped. "I mean, in some cases where their tail barely brushed past you I don't think they even realized that you were there! And it's instant death! What is that? I don't even…"

"And it took forever to move in those suits!" Canderous added.

"Those mad scientists kept trying to kill us and don't even get me started about all the insane Selkath!" Zaalbar contributed.

T3 added something about everyone else being utterly helpless without him and how droids were not meant to go underwater.

"And all of those environmental lectures we had to listen to on the way up…" Canderous trailed off, shaking his head. "The ride was four hours both ways!"

They all looked expectantly at Jolee and Revan.

Revan shrugged. "I didn't have much trouble."

"Big surprise there," Mission murmured.

"And I discovered that if I just used the Force while saying that Sunry was completely innocent then everyone would listen," Jolee said proudly. "Too bad I spent all that time and effort bribing witness…"

Carth looked horrified. "Oh, not _another_ one!"

"It happens to the best of us," Revan said consolingly as he patted Jolee on the shoulder. "Did you at least use the Force to get your money back?"

Jolee nodded. "Naturally. Just because I wasted all day on this damn trial doesn't mean that I'm going to lose out on any money because of it."

"And Elora…really doesn't mind that her husband was sleeping with a Sith and then murdered her?" Carth asked uncertainly. "Because I gotta tell you, I'm fairly certain that Morgana would have had just a bit of a problem with me doing, well, any of that."

Jolee shrugged. "Sunry and Elora have always been just a bit…unconventional. I did the same thing when my wife turned out to be a Sith. Wait…did I kill her? I don't remember…but I _definitely _remember the part where she was a Sith."

"Hopefully not when you married her," Carth said, perturbed.

Jolee shrugged again. "No idea. I hope not, though. I mean, I had enough crap to deal with for just getting married. Or at least I would have if the council wasn't out of its damn mind."

"Are we all ready to get the hell off of this Force-forsaken planet?" Carth asked.

That was a mad dash for the _Ebon Hawk_ and Revan surprised everyone by being the first one aboard. Apparently they had underestimated his hatred of Manaan, despite the fact he'd been complaining about having to go there ever since he found out that he would actually have to go there.

As Carth took off, Revan went into the cockpit in order to pester him.

"So that's it, then?" Revan demanded. "We are absolutely done searching for the Force-damned Star Maps?"

"Yes, Revan, we are done looking for the Star Maps," Carth confirmed.

"So this means that we can head to…wherever it is that the Star Maps are located?" Revan pressed. "No more detours, no more pointless personal problems that need to be resolved, no more being captured by the Sith?"

"Yes to all of those, particularly the last one if we're lucky," Carth agreed. "I've put all the Star Maps together. Funny story, we probably could have gotten to the right system even without that last map…"

Carth gulped at the murderous rage in Revan's eyes.

"So, uh, now that that's done with we just have to go to this completely uncharted system of stars and hope that we'll find something there that tells us what to do because I have to admit that once we get there I have no idea what we're doing," Carth confessed. "Do you?"

Revan nodded. "Sure."

Carth waited. "…Can you tell me what's going to happen?"

"There will be a disruptor beam on the planet we emerge by that, if it's working, will cause us to crash land. We'll need to deal with the Rakata who built the Star Forge in the first place and deal with their minor civil war in order to get past the force fields and turn off the disruptor. I kind of maybe sort of totally betrayed them last time so they won't be too eager to help. The Star Forge should be in plain sight once we get off the planet, though," Revan informed him.

Carth groaned. "Why can't anything ever be easy?"

Revan stared at him. "But…it is. I mean, I'm still probably not going to do anything but I wouldn't call it difficult, no."

"I miss Bastila…" Carth muttered.

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	26. Three Years, Revan!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"Okay," Carth announced. "I see a giant spaceship-factory thing and I'm going to assume that that's the Star Forge. I've also sent the coordinates to the Republic. Is Malak aboard that thing? And what about Bastila?"

Revan nodded. "They are and you're right, that is the Star Forge."

"Do you…remember the Star Forge?" Carth asked hesitantly. "I mean, how bad is your memory damage, anyway? Do you even have memory damage?"

Revan merely blinked at him.

Carth sighed. "I should have known you wouldn't give a straight answer. Fine. Can you tell me anything else?"

"Bastila's kind of turned evil," Revan volunteered. "And let me tell you, I am really not happy about this turn of events in case you were wondering. Which, knowing you, you probably were."

Carth's eyes widened. "Wait, what? What did this happen?"

"I presume Malak's been torturing her, depriving her of food, water, and sleep, and giving her some of his better lectures on the merits of joining the dark side," Revan responded.

Carth looked a little sick. "Poor Bastila…we've got to do something. We really can't go in until the Republic shows up, though, and that won't be for another eight hours or so and so we'll need something to do in the meantime. I don't see any sign of your-"

Revan covered Carth's mouth with his hand and within seconds the ship started to shake and plummet towards the planet.

"Revan!" Carth said angrily after he finally managed to free himself. "What was that for?"

"You were about to say that you didn't see any sign of my disruptor beam, right?" Revan asked patiently. "Even if it really isn't _my_ disruptor beam, per se."

"Yeah," Carth admitted. "And that explains your actions because…?"

"I thought it would be cliché if just as you were saying that, we managed to get caught in it," Revan explained. "And so I took steps to avoid this happening."

"Well…that was thoughtful, I guess," Carth said awkwardly. "What now?"

"Angry pronouncement: Meatbag, your piloting has always been substandard but this is absolutely unacceptable!" HK declared as he walked into the cockpit followed by the rest of their group.

"Hey, what do you mean ' substandard'?" Carth demanded.

"Pointed insult: I was not aware that you were so stupid as to not know what 'substandard' means but given that stunning example of how _not_ to fly the ship, I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised," HK replied.

"Revan, don't take this the wrong way but I kind of hate your droid," Carth told him bluntly.

Revan looked confused. "What? Why?"

"Were you even listening to him?" Carth demanded, annoyed.

Revan nodded. "Of course: he said that he was concerned about the crash."

"He phrased it rather differently than that," Carth said pointedly.

Revan shrugged. "What, was I supposed to quote him or something? And if I did, would I need to add his descriptive phrases like 'angry pronouncement'?"

"Hey, why do you have him do that?" Mission asked curiously.

"I got the idea from this species I met in the Outer Rim called the Elcor," Revan answered. "They spoke in a monotone so added descriptive phrases so non-Elcor could get some insight into their emotions. I thought it was amusing and it annoyed Malak after about five minutes so I decided to program that into HK."

"Don't take this the wrong way but sometimes I wonder why, exactly, it took so long for Malak to turn on you," Zaalbar remarked, shaking his head.

"I guess he just couldn't be bothered," Revan theorized.

Canderous laughed. "Malak isn't _you_, Revan."

"And thank the Force for that," Jolee spoke up. "I do not think the galaxy is ready for more than one Revan."

"Um, guys?" Carth said. "According to Revan we need to meet up with some Ratakan-"

"Rakatan," Revan corrected.

"Right, them," Carth said vaguely. "We need to meet with them and convince them to let us turn off the disruptor beam so we can get off of this planet before the Republic comes and they all crash. We also need to fix the ship so I propose we split up."

"Brilliant idea, Carth," Revan declared. "I'll stay here and supervise the ship-fixing."

"Oh, no you don't," Carth said firmly. "The Ratakan know you and so you have to go meet with them. Besides, we don't speak their language, remember?"

"Well, you certainly don't," Zaalbar muttered.

"I did mention the part about betraying them, right?" Revan asked. "Some people can really hold a grudge and it might be easier without me."

"Easier for you, maybe," Mission clarified.

Revan nodded again. "Yes, Mission, that is exactly what I meant."

"Most people would be sarcastic when they said that," Mission noted, "but not Revan."

"So what do you propose then?" Jolee asked.

"Revan needs to go to the Rataken because he knows them, I need to go because I don't trust Revan by himself, and Jolee needs to go because he's our only other Force user," Carth began. "Between T3, HK, Canderous, Mission, and Zaalbar, we need the ship to be fixed. Anyone not working on the ship can come with us, I suppose."

"Desperate insistence: I am going with you! I haven't killed anything since the Leviathan and I think I'm going into withdrawal!" HK cried out.

"If there is killing to be done, I will be doing it," Canderous said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "If I'm needed to fix the ship, I'll get to work the minute we kill everything we're planning on killing."

"Big Z and I know a little about mechanics," Mission offered. "I guess we can help."

T3 beeped to offer his assistance which made everyone feel a lot better as he sounded much more like he knew what he was talking about. He beeped again.

Revan flinched. "T3! I-is that really necessary?"

"What did he say?" Carth demanded.

"H-he said…he said…" Revan began shakily.

"Yes?" Carth prompted encouragingly.

"He said that if Revan comes back evil or doesn't come back at all then he's going to take the news very badly and will probably be forced to wipe his own memory for the first time ever so that he forgets about the pain," Canderous revealed.

"Jealous muttering: bloody drama queen…" HK murmured.

"Honestly, Carth, you don't speak Shyriiwook, you don't speak droid, you don't speak Selkatha…what does the Republic teach you?" Mission demanded.

"Certainly not piloting," Jolee deadpanned.

"Hey!"

"Don't do it, T3!" Revan begged, completely ignoring Carth's predicament. "That's like droid-suicide! You have so much to live for!"

T3 beeped something else.

"I promise, I won't!" Revan said earnestly.

"Well…I guess that's one way to keep Revan on our side," Carth said dryly. "Appeal to his droid fetish."

"Revan!" the One – leader of the more primitive off-shoot cult of the Rakata – cried out. He did not look pleased.

"Hi," Revan said shortly.

"Don't 'hi' me," the One said angrily. "You promised me that you'd kill off the Elders for me twenty years ago and I'm still waiting!"

"Oh come on, it was _not_ twenty years ago!" Revan argued.

"Okay, fine, maybe it was only three," the One admitted. "But they're still not dead. Now, do you have any intention of killing the Elders for us?"

"That sounds like a lot of work and since Malak isn't here to make me do it, Jolee doesn't actually seem to care, and Carth can't use the Force to totally cheat and understand other languages-" Revan started to say.

"Hey!" Jolee objected.

"Well, you are totally doing just that," Revan said unrepentantly.

"Look who's talking!" Jolee shot back.

"Oh, you did _not_ just go there," Revan said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I learned all these languages manually!"

"Even the sand people language?" Jolee challenged.

"…There was no other possible way I could have learned it!" Revan protested. "Be fair."

"And how exactly, hiding out in Kashyyyk for twenty years after being a Jedi most of my life, was I supposed to learn Rakatan?" Jolee inquired.

"You could have asked me to teach you," Revan pointed out.

"And would you have?" Jolee demanded.

Revan was silent for a moment. "…Point."

"Um, Revan?" the One spoke up. "Perhaps you could finish answering whether or not you're actually going to do what you promised or at least pretend to do it so we can get on with it?"

"What? Oh, right. No, I won't kill the Elders for you," Revan told him.

"Then you will die!" the One screeched. "To arms, men!"

"Revan, what did you do?" Carth shouted as the Rakatan began to attack them. "I thought you were a better diplomat than that!"

Revan shrugged. "What? The Elders would have just made us come back and kill them anyway in exchange for their help. I'm saving time."

"Do we even want to know why there were a few dozen Mandalorians and some Rancor here?" Jolee wondered aloud. "Not to mention the Gizka…"

"The Mandalorian empire was very far-reaching before Revan defeated us," Canderous bragged.

"Not quite _that_ far-reaching," Carth reminded him smugly.

A hologram of a Rakatan appeared before them as they got near the Elder compound.

Canderous looked intrigued. "Is it just me or could this electrical fencing absolutely kill us if they don't like what they're saying?"

"Pleased confirmation: Most certainly and I'm impressed that you noticed that," HK, who had actually been here before, replied.

"Ah, Revan. It's been…three years. Have you killed the One and his band of renegades yet?" the Elder inquired politely.

"We just did that now," Revan affirmed. "What, didn't that Rakatan we rescued say something about that?"

"He did," the Elder acknowledged. "But he's also been tortured for several weeks so we're taking everything he says with a grain of salt. If this is really true, though, then come on in. I'm sure our leader would be thrilled to finally get a chance to thank you for this."

The hologram faded away and the door opened.

Carth tensed, preparing for a fight.

Jolee gave him a strange look. "Calm down, Carth. You wouldn't want to start something."

Carth choked. "Me? You don't want _me_ to start something? What about Revan?"

"Suspicious inquiry: What _about_ him?" HK demanded, cocking his gun.

Carth coughed. "Nothing, nothing…"

Once inside they were led to the leader of the Rakatan.

"And so we meet once again, Revan," the Elder leader greeted him. "I confess, I had rather hoped you would have killed the One and his ilk three years ago but at least it's done now. You have my eternal thanks and, knowing you, I'm going to assume that you want something."

"So let me get this straight…they'll let you in but only by yourself since they're annoyed you took too damn long to kill off their rivals," Carth said flatly. "And you won't use the Force to convince them to let me in because…?"

"Because there's really no point," Revan informed him. "Only those that are Force-sensitive can enter and despite your son's abilities, you do not qualify."

"But earlier you said that evil Bastila is waiting on the roof for you," Carth protested.

"Telling him that probably wasn't the brightest move," Jolee commented.

"What? He asked me whose ship we saw landing and I answered before I thought about the negative ramifications of that decision," Revan said defensively.

"Hence this conversation," Jolee said pointedly.

"Well, you can't go in there alone," Carth said firmly. "And that's final."

"Why is the worst fighter here who isn't even Force-sensitive and can't fly properly the one making the decisions that we actually listen to?" Canderous wondered.

"Because Revan's in charge and Carth's good at nagging so it's easier for him to give in," Jolee replied.

"Your lack of trust is really biting, Carth," Revan said, looking wounded.

"Just _try_ and not tell me that it isn't fully justified," Carth challenged. "The only reason you didn't join Malak back on the Leviathan was because I pointed out how much wasted effort that would have been."

"That wasn't the _only_ reason," Revan said unconvincingly.

"If I can't go then I can't go," Carth said resignedly. "But still, Revan simply _cannot_ be allowed to go in and meet his evil girlfriend who has had some success in persuading him of things in the past by herself." He snapped his fingers suddenly. "Jolee!"

"What?" Jolee asked, jerking to attention.

"You'll go into the temple with Revan, won't you?" Carth asked eagerly.

"Are you sure you want me to?" Jolee asked, surprised. "I mean, I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue over here. I killed my evil Sith wife and recently got a shamelessly guilty man off for killing his evil Sith girlfriend and blatantly bribed my witnesses."

"Well yeah but, unlike Revan, you've never actually _become_ a Sith," Carth pointed out. "I figure there must be some reason for that even if it's only because I'm sure the uniforms before Revan took over were substandard."

"Amused remark: Oh, _now_ he knows what 'substandard' means," HK commented.

"I like the word 'Jedi' more than 'Sith'," Jolee confided. "That's why I call myself a grey Jedi. Those red lightsabers are an eyesore and purple ones are just too trendy. Also, I pride myself on always being on the side of an argument that is against the killing of babies and even though I've never heard anyone actually argue this viewpoint, I'm pretty sure that if anyone did it would be the Sith."

"Well…I suppose that's something," Carth said slowly. "So…will you do it?"

Jolee sighed. "Do I _have_ to?"

"Yes," Carth said firmly. "Or I will spend the entire time that Revan is in their potentially turning evil and you're out here lecturing you about how you're failing your duty to the galaxy out of laziness."

"You know, I'm right here guys," Revan reminded them. "Honestly, this is quite unnecessary. I couldn't possibly even think of doing anything or else T3 is going to kill himself, remember?"

"Fine," Jolee grumbled, ignoring him. "Revan, if you would…?"

Revan rolled his eyes but approached the Rakatan in charge of the ceremony to allow them into the temple. "My friend is coming in as well."

"I _still_ can't believe that you actually admitted that we're friends," Jolee said yet again.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Revan asked. "It's getting kind of annoying."

"Sorry about that but…this is huge! Have you actually admitted to being friends with anyone else in our group?"

Revan considered that. "I…don't think so but I'm not positive."

"Given what your old best friend did to you, I suppose that's not surprising," Jolee continued. "And did you see the look on Carth and Canderous' faces once HK translated for them? They could not _be_ more jealous. I'm honored, humbled, and paradoxically kind of smug that I've helped you get past your friendship issues enough to not only secretly consider me a friend – which I've suspected all along – but to actually openly acknowledge it."

"It's just a word, Jolee," Revan said tiredly. "And it rolled off the tongue easier than 'my companion' or 'this man with me'."

"Deny it all you like, Revan, we all know the truth," Jolee said proudly.

"Did I hear someone say 'Revan'?" a female voice demanded, poking her head into the room. Her eyes widened. "I did, didn't I? Hey guys, come on!"

"This looks promising," Jolee said with a smile as two more girls joined her. The smile disappeared when three guys showed up as well. "And…that looks decidedly less so."

"Don't judge," Revan snapped. "I mean, it's not but you still shouldn't judge. It's not the Jedi way."

"Revan, you've got to be the only Jedi I know that is actually worse than me," Jolee pointed out. "And as such, I am suitably chastened."

"You made us wait for you for three years!" one of the dark Jedi accused. "What is wrong with you? Did you just forget about us? I thought we meant more to you than that!"

Revan looked honestly confused. "You did? I'm sorry, I don't know how I managed to give you that impression but there is very little in this universe that I care about and none of you actually make the list."

"Except me!" Jolee broke in brightly.

"So Revan doesn't care about us and leaves us to practically starve in this temple for three years, probably forgetting about us and then when he does return, he brings someone that he actually _does_ care about to rub our faces in it?" another dark Jedi summarized. "Let's get him!"

To Revan and Jolee's great surprise, the six turned as one and began to attack Jolee instead of Revan.

"A little help here?" Jolee implored as he hastily fended off some well-placed blows.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to interrupt," Revan said innocently.

Jolee took the time to glare at Revan but, since he was ducking, it looked rather less-than-impressive. "I hate you."

Revan looked sad. "Aw, and here I thought that we were friends!"

Review Please!


	27. Revan, Meet Temptation

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"You know, I didn't even want to come in here in the first place," Jolee complained as they made their way down the hallway that would lead them to Bastila…and the console that would shut down the disruptor beam. But mostly Bastila.

"Well, you went along with Carth's plan easily enough," Revan pointed out.

"So did you," Jolee countered.

Revan shrugged. "Well, Carth and I have been travelling together for the past several months now and I know that he'd just keep complaining until he got his way and all his talking was distracting the Rakatan who were doing the ritual to let us in."

"I still can't believe Carth's great role in saving the galaxy is _annoying_ you," Jolee marveled, shaking his head.

"He'll probably want to leave that bit out of the official story," Revan quipped.

"Even if you agreed for your own peace of mind, I really didn't need to," Jolee continued.

"I don't know, I've actually come around to the idea of you being here with me and now think that it was an inspired plan and we haven't even met Bastila yet," Revan said cheerfully.

"That's because you're making me do all the work!" Jolee complained.

Revan laughed. "Did you really expect anything else?"

"I guess not," Jolee admitted. "But I'm too old to be forced to solve ancient floor puzzles and fend off your crazy exes, damn it!"

"They were _not_ my exes!" Revan objected hotly. "Well…not all of them, at any rate."

"…Which ones were and which ones weren't?" Jolee couldn't help but ask.

Revan smirked. "See, I could tell you but it's a lot more fun watching you wonder about it."

"Sadist," Jolee grumbled. He stopped short. "Revan, you know that right beyond this doorway lies Bastila, right?"

Revan nodded. "I think I can see her from here. In fact, she just waved at me."

"Well, you have to be prepared for the fact that she may have changed during her imprisonment," Jolee cautioned.

"You mean she might have turned evil and actually developed a sense of fashion and changed out of that ridiculous yellow eyesore despite the fact that Malak knows nothing about designs?" Revan asked rhetorically.

"Yes, like that," Jolee replied. "So be careful and remember: Not only will Carth never shut up if you turn evil but T3 will…do something that I don't exactly remember but seemed to upset you a great deal."

Revan nodded grimly. "Commit suicide, I know. Don't worry, I'll be fine." He thrust his shoulders back and strolled out to meet Bastila.

"Are you two done planning how this reunion is going to go?" Bastila asked politely.

"Were we planning something?" Revan asked blankly.

"Weren't you paying any attention at all?" Jolee asked, simultaneously annoyed that Revan apparently wasn't listening and still impressed that he managed to fake it so well. He hadn't even stuck to noncommittal noises or one-syllable answers.

"I tried," Revan insisted, "it's just that…_damn_, Bastila. You look amazing. Your skin, especially, is positively radiant."

Bastila smiled at that. "Why, thank you, Revan."

"It's a little-known fact but that was actually my second reason for insisting on wearing an outfit that covered every inch of my body," Revan confided. "The first of course was so that I could get away from all the responsibilities of being me and date girls that weren't terrified I'd kill them if they said the wrong thing."

"Oh, was the other that you had converted to a religion that required that of you?" Jolee guessed hopefully.

Revan shook his head. "The Sith aren't very big on religion; they think it takes away from the worship of power. Actually, the Jedi don't like it either and I can only assume it's because they hate individuality as they think it will lead to the dark side."

Bastila nodded. "Probably."

Revan just shook his head at her. "You agreeing with me is _weird_."

"Weird in a bad way?" Bastila asked, pouting a little.

Revan considered this. "I don't know. I'll get back to you on that. I was actually going to say that my second reason was because I have seen the dark side do some _nasty_ things to one's skin and so even if mine was currently fine, I lived in constant fear that it wouldn't last. Malak, of course, looks like he has jaundice and then there's the matter of his jaw…but that's a different story."

"Why didn't you wait to cover up until after you began to notice your skin was having problems?" Bastila queried.

"Again, two reasons. First of all, if I did that then it would be really obvious when I turned up one day and wouldn't let anyone look at my skin what had happened. This way, it was just my gimmick and added to my mystique. Secondly, I was worried that I wouldn't notice when it first happened and someone else might see," Revan explained. "So I'm glad that your skin is doing okay, Bastila, but watch it _very carefully_."

Bastila nodded solemnly. "That sounds like excellent advice. Just what I'd expect from the most talented man in the galaxy."

Revan groaned. "Okay, who have you been talking to? Master Kae?"

"As much fun as you've been having catching up, we've got to get out of here!" Jolee cried out urgently.

"Why?" Revan asked, confused. "Does the barrier reseal itself and we'll be trapped?"

"No, worse," Jolee told him.

Revan opened his mouth again.

"No, it's even worse than that, too," Jolee assured him.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" Revan protested.

"I don't need to to know that it's worse," Jolee returned. "Malak could be here any minute! Come on, Bastila, we've got to get out of here!"

Bastila and Revan exchanged 'he has _got_ to be kidding' looks.

"Um…Jolee? I'm not trying to imply that because you're old you must be senile and I know that you're really sensitive about that," Revan began. "But maybe you could explain to me just what you think is happening here?"

"Obviously, Bastila managed to get great skin and a badass new outfit before escaping and stealing a ship and piloting it down to us here and was just waiting for us to come take her back to the _Ebon Hawk_ where she belongs," Jolee replied matter-of-factly.

"…You know, we **totally** had a conversation about how evil she was. Kind of a lot, too. Now I'm starting to think you were the one who wasn't listening," Revan said, looking almost offended.

"Don't be silly, Revan. It's _Bastila_," Jolee said as if that explained everything. "She can't be evil."

"I kind of am," Bastila corrected. "I'm Malak's apprentice and everything."

"Sure you are," Jolee said soothingly. "Revan, she's clearly snapped under the strain of the last few weeks. We should sedate her once we get back to the ship and get her some professional help – preferably outside of the Jedi, damn the legalities – once this is over with."

Bastila's eye twitched. "I can still hear you."

"Bastila, does teaming up with Malak mean that you're going to try to kill me?" Revan asked worriedly. "I mean, I know that that's the way of the Sith and all but I had rather gotten used to not having the people around me plotting my death."

"I'm afraid that I am, Revan," Bastila confirmed. She almost sounded sad. "Unless…but I'm sure that you wouldn't be interested in it. It involves putting some actual effort into something."

"You're probably right," Revan agreed.

"…You weren't supposed to agree with me," Bastila whispered.

"But…you were right," Revan didn't get it. Oh, well. "What was I supposed to have done?"

"You're supposed to tell me that you wanted to know anyway," Bastila told him.

"Oh." Revan cleared his throat. "You don't know that, Bastila! Tell me what I must do to avoid having you try to kill me!"

"Malak is strong, yes," Bastila acknowledged. "And he's certainly infinitely more motivated than you'll ever be. Just the same, I can be as motivated as he and we all know that – assuming you pay attention and don't get hit in the back of the head by a heavy object–"

"That was _one time_!" Revan protested.

"Malak isn't even in your league," Bastila continued. "If you and I were to join forces, I could absolutely motivate you to take down your former apprentice and stop the station from being destroyed using my battle mediation. Together, we could conquer the galaxy!"

Revan remained skeptical. "I don't know, Bastila. How is that any different than the arrangement I had with Malak?"

"Well, you weren't regularly sleeping with Malak," Bastila said as if it were obvious.

"Presumably," Jolee added. "Though given his refusal to tell me who he had and had not been seeing, we really don't know, now do we?"

"There is that," Revan agreed. "And I probably wouldn't have to put up with Carth complaining anymore."

"We would kill him if he wouldn't stop," Bastila announced. "And we know that he wouldn't."

"I think Canderous and HK would be thrilled and Mission and Zaalbar probably wouldn't care," Revan mused. "Jolee doesn't like the word 'Sith' or the killing of babies so he'd be against it but he's technically neutral and even if he did side against us, he's old, so…"

"So is that a yes?" Bastila asked hopefully.

Revan winced. "I'd love to, Bastila, I really would. Having you manage an evil empire that I'm the figurehead for and not having to do much work at all sounds like paradise."

Bastila frowned. "I'm sensing a 'but.' Why am I sensing a 'but'?"

"It's just that T3 has threatened to erase his entire memory in order to rid himself of the pain of me turning evil!" Revan cried out, distraught. "And I think he really means it!"

"…You would let one stupid utility droid stand between you and your destiny?" Bastila asked flatly.

Revan gasped. "You…how could you even say that? It's like I don't even know you anymore. What has the dark side done to you?"

Whatever Bastila had been expecting, this was not it. She looked puzzled for a moment before groaning. "Of course. I forgot about your droid fetish."

"I do _not_ have a droid fetish!" Revan argued.

Jolee snorted. "You are so far in denial it's not even funny."

"Please, Revan," Bastila said softly, her eyes pleading with him to go with her. "Please turn evil again for me."

Revan couldn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, Bastila. T3 is just too important to me."

"I can't believe you're breaking up with me for a droid," Bastila said disgustedly. "Actually, now that I think about it I really can. And that is just depressing. I'm leaving." She began to march back to her ship.

"Wait, Bastila!" Revan called after her. "I'm not dumping you, I just can't be evil!"

"And I can't be with a man who's not evil," Bastila said frigidly. "Good day, Revan. May you come to your senses when we meet again."

"Well, that went well," Jolee said dryly. "You know, I'm not so much surprised by the fact that you dumped Bastila for a utility droid as I am by the fact that it took you this long. Still, I suppose that at least it wasn't the assassin droid…"

Now Revan was really wishing he'd taken that offer. Damn T3 for being too adorable to enable his self-destruction.

* * *

"Well?" Carth demanded. "Where's Bastila?"

"She's evil now, remember?" Mission reminded him.

"Oh, right. And Jolee's still alive and Revan's not evil, I see," Carth remarked, stunned.

"Your lack of faith is still quite painful, Carth," Revan sniffed.

"I would apologize but I suspect that it was more T3's threat that did it rather than any moral inclination of yours," Carth said frankly.

"And you'd be right," Jolee confirmed.

"She accused me of dumping her for T3," Revan said glumly.

"Well, you kind of did," Zaalbar told him.

Revan glared at him. "_So_ not helping."

"So I see that the disruptor beam is down," Carth noted. "And even though we really needed new parts for the ship that we didn't have, T3 and Canderous managed to get the ship working again anyway."

T3 beeped modestly and, for the sake of avoiding being laughed at again, Revan narrowly managed to refrain from gushing over how amazing he was.

"We are mechanic gods!" Canderous declared. "I'm thinking about trying to rebuild a basilisk war droid next."

"I am both highly skeptical and supremely terrified," Carth informed him.

"As well you should be," Canderous said approvingly.

"Much-needed interjection: it has been nearly eight hours since we landed here and I believe that is when the Republic meatbags were supposed to show up," HK hinted.

"As much as I don't want to agree with your assassin droid, Revan," Carth began. "I'm afraid that he's right. We've got to get a move on before the Republic shows up and decides to attack without us or the knowledge that Bastila is with the Sith now."

"You know, I just _bet_ that they blame our relationship despite the fact that I was offered the chance to turn and totally didn't," Revan griped.

"Revan, I think I might actually be proud of you," Carth told him as the pair headed to the cockpit.

"Oh? And why is that?" Revan asked, intrigued.

"You had the opportunity to do the easy thing and slip back into your old ways and – for whatever reason, petty or noble – you refused. You really turned your back on Revan for good, didn't you?"

"Not really," Revan disagreed. "I mean, my name is still Revan and everything and being a Sith was not actually my entire life back before Malak tried to kidnap me and the Jedi tried to mind-rape me."

"Well…" Carth trailed off before quickly rallying. "You still chose the right path instead of the easy one for once and that shows a lot of character development on your part. I just feel like we can finally trust you now."

"If that really makes you feel safe at night then by all means, believe what you will," Revan said magnanimously.

Strangely, that did not make Carth feel particularly safe.

* * *

"Revan, I see you've successfully led us to the source of the Siths' seemingly-unlimited resources," Vandar observed once the _Ebon Hawk_ had been connected to the Republic leadership at the scene.

The woman next to him glared down at him. "From what I've heard of Revan, I'm sure that Carth did most of the work. People who don't happen to be Force-sensitive can still get things done and are valued members of this Republic, you know."

"Yes, yes, Admiral Dodonna," Vandar said placatingly. "Where is Bastila? I don't see her in the cockpit and if she were on the ship, it would only make sense for her to be here now."

"Oh, she got captured by Malak weeks ago after he finally forced me to admit that I don't have amnesia and now she's evil and using her battle meditation to crush the Republic fleet," Revan explained.

Vandar looked stricken. "This is indeed troubling news."

Dodonna smacked herself in the forehead. "Not _another_ one! What kind of shoddy morality are you teaching over at that Academy?"

"Don't worry," Revan assured Vandar so as to save him from having to try to find an answer for that perfectly valid question. "We'll handle her. And Malak. Force knows that we can't count on anyone not Force sensitive to actually accomplish anything."

Dodonna turned her glare on him. "I deeply despise you."

"I often get that reaction from Republic soldiers," Revan said blithely.

"Master Vandar, how is it that you're even still with us?" Carth asked curiously. "The last time I had checked, you were on Dantooine and we heard that Malak really did a number on the planet."

"He did," Vandar confirmed. "But it seems like the Force had other plans for me and so I survived. And I am not the only one, either. Master Vrook, for instance, is also just fine."

"Yes!" Revan shouted jubilantly, punching the air.

Everyone turned to stare at him, unsure of what to make of this uncharacteristically enthusiastic action.

"What?" Revan asked defensively. "He's awesome!"

"I really don't see the appeal," Carth confessed.

"Neither do I," Dodonna concurred. "Maybe it's a Jedi thing?"

"So what's the plan, anyway?" Revan asked absently.

"We will attempt to engage the Sith fleet and lose horribly due to the Battle Meditation-" Dodonna began.

"Oh, sure, blame it all on the Battle Meditation," Revan muttered under his breath.

"You and a few strike teams of Jedi will sneak into the station, hope that everyone's distracted by the battle, and do whatever it takes to break Bastila's concentration. If you'd like to kill Malak as well, be my guest. Either way, you only have so long before the battle is won and we blow up the Star Forge whether you are on it or not so don't take too long," Dodonna advised.

"Sounds like a plan," Revan said reluctantly. "After that's over, we're done, though, right?"

Vandar gave a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, Revan. After that is over, the galaxy will be saved and there won't be as much for you to have to do."

"I'm not quite sure I'm satisfied with that answer-" Revan started to say before the transmission was suddenly cut off. "He hung up on me! I can't believe he actually hung up on me! That is _so_ not the way of the Jedi!"

"The transmission was probably just faulty," Carth suggested.

Revan didn't even deign to respond to that. "They better not try to use me for their PR because if they do then by the Force I'll…"

Review Please!


	28. ONE TIME!

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: Poor Revan. Bastila basically dumped him because he refused to turn evil and everyone thinks _he_ dumped _her_ for T3. :P

"Alright, so we don't know how much time we have but it can't be very much," Carth declared. "The Republic can't destroy the Star Forge until Bastila is stopped but if we take too long stopping her then the Republic fleet will be stopped and won't be able to even should Bastila actively switch sides."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Carth," Revan assured him. "The Force has done some pretty contrived things to get us to this point so I think it's safe to say that it is firmly on our side and thus we'll be fine."

"That's all well and good for _you_, Revan, but some of us are trying to be responsible adults concerned with the future of our galaxy here," Carth said curtly.

Revan shrugged. "Your loss."

"So how many of us are going with Revan? I think at least one person needs to stay here and guard the ship so that no one steals it but other than that Revan should need all the help he can get because who knows what we'll be called upon to face here in this almost living factory?" Carth asked rhetorically. "I, of course, will be going but-"

"Actually, Republic, I think that you need to stay here," Canderous interrupted.

Carth laughed incredulously. "You've _got_ to be kidding. I can't just leave Revan alone on an evil space station that has already corrupted him once before with at least two high-ranking Sith seeking to lure him back to the dark side!"

"He'll hardly be alone," Mission protested. "We'd all be going with him."

"This may come as a surprise to you, Mission, but Carth doesn't really trust us," Zaalbar reminded her.

"Really? After all this time?" Mission asked, a bit taken aback. "Guy's got some real trust issues."

"Tell me about it," Zaalbar agreed.

"No offense but I highly doubt any of you are really all that concerned with if Revan turns to the Dark Side or not," Carth unknowingly confirmed Zaalbar's theory.

"I thought you didn't believe in the Dark Side," Revan reminded him. "On Dantooine, I think, you said that you thought that that was just an excuse that people gave for not taking responsibility for the fact that they turned evil."

"I did say that, didn't I?" Carth asked rhetorically, rubbing his chin. "Well, all I can say is that even _I_ think that this place feels evil so even though Saul was not Force-sensitive and so it was still all his own damn fault, I am willing to consider that there may be something to this 'Dark Side' claim after all."

"Why does Carth believe in the Dark Side before I do?" Revan wondered.

T3 beeped something.

"You're probably right," Revan agreed. "Man, you're really insightful, you know that? Best two thousand credits I ever spent."

"You didn't spend it, you charged it to Davik's account, remember?" Carth reminded him.

Revan thought about it for a second then shrugged. "Best two thousand credits _Davik_ ever spent then."

"Jealous claim: We really should hurry up before anybody notices we're here and not stand around all day praising people," HK declared.

"Canderous still hasn't told me why he thinks I should stay behind and leave Revan to the mercy of the Sith and their persuasive recruiting techniques," Carth pointed out.

"Listen, Republic, I don't have much faith in your piloting abilities, especially after that spectacular crash," Canderous began.

"Oh, that is _so_ not fair!" Carth protested. "There was a disruptor beam!"

"Oh really? A 'disruptor beam'?" Canderous asked, unimpressed. "How very convenient for you."

Carth's eye twitched. "So you don't have any faith in my piloting _but_?" he prompted.

"But we're probably going to have to get out of here with very little time to spare," Canderous replied. "From what I've seen of the Force, it has a flair for the dramatic and us being mere feet in front of the explosion really seems like that would suit it. We need to have you sitting at the cockpit and ready to go at a moment's notice and if you come with us, you might not be able to pull that off. I'm not about to watch us all die because you're too damn paranoid."

"I…suppose you're right," Carth said reluctantly. "I'll just have to sit tight and hope for the best. At least Jolee will be going with him and he sort of proved himself when he confronted Bastila with Revan."

Jolee started to laugh then and Carth, Force-Sensitive or not, began to get a very bad feeling about that.

"You really think I'm going with Revan?" Jolee asked between guffaws.

"You're not?" Carth asked, aghast.

"After what happened at the temple with the complete lack of support and being made to do all the work?" Jolee demanded. "As if. I have faith in Revan – sort of – and he'll be fine."

"But…" Carth trailed off. "This is a _really_ bad idea!"

"Oh, I know," Revan agreed. "But we're just going to have to put up with it, huh? And then maybe I can get a break."

In the end, it was decided that everyone except for Carth who needed to pilot the ship and Jolee who simply didn't want to go would be accompanying Revan. Jolee went to go take a nap while Carth sat anxiously in the pilot's seat, ready to leave at a moment's notice.

The minute Revan and the companions that would actually be accompanying him stepped off of the ramp of the _Ebon Hawk_, they ran into a group of really anonymous-looking Jedi.

"Come on, I see some Dark Jedi!" one of them called out before running towards a group of them.

"Should we try to help them?" Mission asked.

Canderous shook his head. "Nah, I've seen their type before. You never get anything out of saving the cannon fodder as the minute you do that they'll insist on standing in front of an exploding wall or something. Let's just move on."

Revan froze. "By the Force…I completely understand Trask now!"

_

* * *

_

Darth Malak turned around once he noticed the underling approaching him. "Well?"

_The underling fought to control the look of disgust that threatened to cross his face. Malak had apparently decided to adjust his metal jaw replacement right then. "I, uh, Revan has landed on the Star Forge."_

_Malak ignored his underling's obvious discomfort. "I see. Well, I'm kind of in the middle of something so throw everything we have at him and I'll face him myself when I'm done."_

"Desperately-hidden concern: Master, are you alright?" HK cried out.

Revan blinked, coming back to himself. "Huh? Oh, I'm fine. Malak just decided to kill off everyone in the Star Forge because he doesn't think he's looking his best and won't face me until he's satisfied that he is."

Canderous snorted. "It is truly pathetic that this guy was your second in command."

"Well, it's not like we wear things that cover us completely from head to toe so it doesn't matter what we wear," Revan pointed out.

"You used to," Canderous countered.

"And I haven't been doing that so much lately," Revan remarked. "Either way…here it is!" He made a beeline for the door that had just come into view.

"Here what is?" Zaalbar asked.

"My handy-dandy wardrobe maker!" Revan exclaimed.

"You have a wardrobe-maker on your evil space station factory?" Mission asked skeptically.

"Well, sure," Revan confirmed, unperturbed. He went over to the terminal and began to press a few buttons. "The Sith need armor as well as weapons, you know."

"Hey, I think something happened!" Mission exclaimed.

Revan went over to the receptacle and pulled out a pair of dark robes. "Finally, after Force knows how many months, I finally have the most badass robes in the universe back! You know, I should probably make some more because I don't think I'll get another chance, what, with the Star Forge going to blow up soon and whatnot."

Revan did so and went behind one of the machines in order to change.

"How do I look?" he asked, turning around slowly to model the robes.

"Revan!" Zaalbar cried out in terror.

Canderous automatically dropped to his knees.

"Joyful proclamation: Master!" HK cheered.

Revan took down the hood and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. We kind of established that before we even got to Manaan, the dullest planet in the universe."

"W-well, it's one thing to know it and it's quite another to see it," Mission explained, still slightly shaken.

T3 beeped something.

Revan winced. "Well, yes there is a corresponding Light Side robe to match this Dark Side one but you really don't want to see it."

"That's a Dark Side robe?" Zaalbar asked. "Good thing Carth's not here to complain."

"Yes and we're not going to tell him that little piece of information because I love these robes too much to give them up but that doesn't mean that I want to listen to him complaining," Revan said seriously.

"Neither do we," Mission assured him. "But why don't you want to show us the Light Side robes? Are they really ugly or something?"

Revan shuddered. "You have no idea."

"If you designed them like you did the Dark Side robes then I'm sure they can't be that bad," Mission cajoled.

"That's just it: I _didn't_ design the Light Side robes," Revan revealed. "After I made the Dark Side robes, Malak decided that he wanted to try his hand at robe creating and so he created the Light Side ones. They're identical to mine except he changed the color scheme and it looks dreadful."

"I'm sure it can't be all that bad," Canderous told him. "Make one so we can see it and then let's get back to killing things."

Revan sighed. "Don't say I didn't warn you…"

As it turned out, it really **was** that bad and it was some time before they had all recovered enough to keep moving.

* * *

"_Bastila, I have some good news and some bad news," Malak said gravely. "The bad news is that Revan is on his way here and killing everything in his path. The good news is that you're going to get a chance to prove your worth as my apprentice by killing him."_

"_So…I became your apprentice about a month ago and you want me to try to take on your former mentor who you yourself have failed to kill on multiple occasions?" Bastila asked in disbelief. "By the Force, it's like I never left Korriban!" _

"_I'm not entirely sure what you mean but that does sound promising," Malak said encouragingly. "And yes, that's exactly the situation."_

"_This is a horrible idea. Even should I win – which we both know I won't – I can't use my Battle Meditation while fighting. Why was it so important for you to hunt me down and turn me if I'm this expendable to you?" Bastila demanded. _

_Malak shrugged. "Hey, don't blame me. It's the way of the Sith. When you're in charge, you can make your own rules."_

"So apparently Malak is sending Bastila to face us," Revan announced. "Should be fun. In fact, she's already having some doubts, I'd say, even if it's only about Malak's competence and not the morality of what she's doing."

"Baby steps," Mission said, unconcerned.

"Exactly," Revan agreed.

They walked in silence for a few moments before Revan stopped in front of a door. "She's right through here."

T3 beeped something.

Revan flinched. "Aw, come on, T3! Haven't I proven myself already? Do you really have to get suicidal again?"

T3 beeped again.

Revan sighed and stepped through the door. "I suppose you're right…But still-" He stopped as the door slammed shut behind him.

"Anguished cry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanted to shoot the Sith meatbag!" HK wailed.

"Out of curiosity, are you talking about Bastila or Malak?" Revan wondered.

"Prompt response: Both."

"Look, the door won't open, it's probably been sealed," Canderous announced. "We're going to look for another way in and, failing, that we'll meet you back at the ship. You keep going."

"But…but…" Revan protested.

T3 beeped yet again.

Revan jumped. "Right, I'm going!"

Bastila was sitting on the ground meditating when he entered the room. She must not have been very into it, however, as her eyes snapped open right away and she languidly stood up. "So, we meet again."

"You sound remarkably surprised by that fact given that you totally knew we were coming here and Malak told you to wait here to face me," Revan said by way of greeting.

Surprise flashed across Bastila's face. "How did you know-of course. The Force."

"I think it's the vestiges of my Force Bond with Malak, really," Revan theorized. "And for that latter one, maybe my one with you."

"You no longer have a Force bond with me, Revan. I'm evil," Bastila informed him.

"Yeah, that's now how these things work," Revan explained. "You have to try to kill me for it to even break and you've yet to do that."

"Allow me to correct that mistake!" Bastila cried out, lunging at him.

Dark Side or not, Bastila was still hardly in his league although her aim had gotten noticeably better since her turn. After a few minutes of Revan blocking all of her attacks but not bothering to launch any of his own, Bastila pulled back.

"You're stronger than I expected," she confessed.

Revan's brow furrowed in confusion. "So wait…you really thought that I couldn't even last a few minutes in a duel with you and yet you wanted me to side with you and take on Malak who you yourself can't defeat?"

Bastila looked a little embarrassed. "Well, when you put it that way…the Sith don't always make the most logical sense, you know. Malak said that by not calling yourself a Sith you would be exponentially weaker than if you did call yourself that."

"Malak is _so_ full of it," Revan told her. "He's very fond of aggrandizing speeches but never cares if what he says is true or not."

"You know, it's really too bad that you already said no back on that planet and thus cannot possibly change your mind or I would really try to get you to join with me again," Bastila said, sounding almost sad.

"Another Sith idiocy?" Revan asked sympathetically.

Bastila's eyes flashed and she lunged at him again. This time Revan actually put a smidgen of effort into the fight and sent Bastila's blade flying. The minute Revan summoned her fallen weapon to his hand, Bastila practically collapsed as if she had no energy left.

"I should have known I couldn't defeat you," she said tiredly. "I think that Malak knew it, too. As long as you yet lived, there was still a spark of the Light in me and I couldn't strike you down."

"And the fact that I'm simply better at this means nothing, of course," Revan deadpanned.

Bastila ignored that. "Well, let's get this over with, I guess."

"Okay. Come on and we can go find Malak," Revan said with a shrug.

Bastila didn't move. She shut her eyes tightly and clenched his fists so tightly that it began to draw blood. "That…wasn't quite what I meant, Revan."

Revan frowned, unsure of what to make of this. "Then what did you mean?"

"I need you to kill me," Bastila said simply.

The effect was instantaneous. Revan's jaw dropped, his eyebrows shot up past his hairline, and he nearly dropped the two lightsabers he was holding. "I…what? Why would you ask such a thing of me, Bastila? I can't kill you. I kind of love you, you know."

"It has to be done," Bastila said firmly. "I'm evil now."

"So was I, once," Revan reminded her. "It's not the end of the world."

" 'Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will'," Bastila quoted.

Revan snorted and pointed to himself. "Living proof of just how bullshit that statement is."

"That's different," Bastila insisted. "You lost your memory."

"How you can still believe that after all this time is beyond me," Revan said with a small smile. "I'm not going to kill you, Bastila."

"If you don't then I'll probably end up killing you," Bastila warned.

"Do you want to kill me, Bastila?" Revan asked gently.

"Sometimes," Bastila admitted. "Not now, though."

"Then don't," Revan said shortly.

Bastila shook her head helplessly. "Revan…you can't just come back from something like this. People wouldn't accept it."

"Which is why there will probably be a massive cover-up," Revan told her. "No one but the people here who are dead or soon will be, our group who knows better than to say anything, and Dodonna and Vandar know that you're evil so it shouldn't be that hard to keep quiet."

"I…" Bastila trailed off, looking for more arguments even as it became clear that she was weakening. "I don't know, Revan. Do you really love me?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," Revan said seriously. "But surely you're not going to base your future on whether or not I do."

"No," Bastila agreed. "But it's good to know all the same especially since, Force knows why, I love you, too. Damn the Code, I'm sick of being in denial."

"It was never really in the Code anyway," Revan pointed out. "We talked about this, remember? The code is just 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.' Nothing about not dating people, I don't care _how_ loosely they interpret this."

Bastila smiled. "It should be interesting watching you talk about that with the likes of Vrook and Vandar."

Revan shrugged. "I'll probably just ignore them. Now, are you ready to go face Malak with me?"

Bastila hesitated. "Normally I'd tell you that I fear that merely being in Malak's presence might make me fall again so as to spare your feelings but since I _just_ turned back from the Dark Side not five minutes ago, I think maybe I should be honest."

"So what is the truth?" Revan asked curiously.

"Last time you fought him, you lost because you were worried about protecting me and got hit in the head with a crate. That was kind of embarrassing even to watch and I'd really rather avoid having that happen again, especially since the stakes are so much higher," Bastila said flatly.

Revan threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "ONE TIME!"

Review Please!


	29. Time To Escape

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: So I wrote a sequel to this called 'The Jedi Kind of Had it Coming.'

While Bastila's lack of faith might be annoying, she did have a point about needing to use her Battle Meditation to help the Republic instead of the Sith this time and since by the time Bastila got around to opening the door where their group had been trapped no one was there, Revan was on his own once again. Oh joy. He really cursed being so talented some days because while it did ensure that he never really had to do much to get things done, if he wasn't as skilled as he was then chances were that someone as unmotivated as him wouldn't be called upon to do any of this in the first place.

There was, of course, a chance that he could find another way around and get his companions back but that sounded like more effort than it was worth considering that he'd have to be the one who ended up facing down Malak. Maybe his companions could help in a fight and maybe they couldn't but _everybody_ would insist on the two of them having a one-on-one duel for some reason. Things would be over far quicker if they all just killed him but apparently that wasn't visually appealing enough or fair or sentimental enough or epic enough whatever. Maybe he wasn't the only one not feeling interested in any of this.

And he could try to wait for his companions to find their way to him but he didn't even know if they were coming or if there was another way through there (and Force forbid that Bastila open the damn door now that she was no longer evil) and he didn't want to waste anymore time here than he had to. Besides, it would be really annoying if the Star Forge blew up and killed everyone on it while he was fighting Malak or even before he got there. That would serve to make this upcoming fight seem even more pointless than it already did and who knew if Bastila's battle mediation could prevent it? And if it could, well…having her actively preventing the Republic from winning for awhile was certainly an odd use for her skills.

The sounds of someone being choked to death jolted him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Malak Force-choking a random Republic soldier.

"Oh, that is so unnecessary," Revan complained. "It's like I never left, I swear."

"Not everyone is as lazy as you are, Revan," Malak returned. "And I am doing my best to be a good host."

"I prefer the term 'unmotivated'," Revan informed him. "You're kind of failing."

"I know," Malak responded. "But not enough to actually press the matter. And compared to you, I'm an excellent host."

"True," Revan freely admitted. "Though I've got to disagree with you on me being such a terrible host."

"But you never _do _anything," Malak pointed out.

"_Including_," Revan replied, "killing the guests."

"What?" Malak looked surprised. "Oh, he's not a guest."

Revan rolled his eyes. "Well if you're going to redefine 'guest' as anyone you're treating well then of course you're going to always treat guests well!"

Malak just narrowed his eyes petulantly at him.

Revan stood there in awkward silence for a little while before clearing his throat. "So…now what? Do you want to fight or something?"

"I'm actually a little surprised that you do, Revan," Malak confessed. Given his apparently still-growing inferiority complex where Revan was concerned, that was probably not an easy admission to make. "That doesn't really fit my mental image of you very well."

"It seems like nobody will leave me alone until we do so…we might as well just get it over with," Revan explained. After all, sometimes you had to balance the annoyance of actually doing whatever it was that people wanted you to do and that you didn't want to with the annoyance of other people constantly hounding you about it. If you were eventually going to do it anyway then that amount of effort stayed consistent but you could save yourself a lot of grief by avoiding their nagging if you went into hiding, got noise-cancelling headphones, or just did it. And right now he's had enough of the nagging.

Malak's eyes narrowed. "I am not just going to 'get it over with' when it comes to my epic showdown with you, Revan! That's just not how these things are done!"

Revan groaned. Now he was getting a headache and he bet that Malak didn't even care. No, more than that. If he told Malak then Malak would probably not only complain about Revan not taking this seriously or something but also celebrate the fact that he was causing Revan pain, however slight (well, relatively. It still hurt) that pain was. "Much you be so dramatic?"

Malak nodded firmly. "Absolutely. One of us has to, after all, and since you clearly can't be _bothered_, it looks like that will have to be me." He started to dramatically storm out of the room.

"Um, where are you going?" Revan called after him. "Are you going to go sulk about how I'm not taking this seriously enough again?"

"I am NOT sulking!" Malak growled. "I'm going to leave you here with these killer robots in the hope that that will get you in the mood to take this and me more seriously!"

"I kind of doubt it!" Revan shouted just as the door sealed shut behind Malak. "He is _always_ doing this. Honestly, there is appropriately dramatic and then there's hamming it up to the point that nobody can take you seriously no matter how many people you've killed and Malak crossed that line some time ago and hasn't looked back."

Fifteen minutes later, the door was unsealed and Revan casually made his way into Malak's chosen destination for their fight.

Malak looked rather surprised. "I must say, Revan, I hadn't expected you to finish the fight that quickly. I suppose once again I've underestimated you."

"Fight?" Revan repeated. "What fight?"

Malak waved his hand impatiently. "You know, the one with all the droids."

"Oh, was I supposed to fight them? My bad," Revan said apologetically.

"Y-you mean that you _didn't_ fight them?" Malak couldn't believe it. "Then what did you do? They were programmed to kill you!"

Revan shrugged. "They gave that up after I started gushing about them. I really do have a way with droids…but it's _not_ a droid fetish, okay!"

"I never said that you had one," Malak assured him. "Why, has someone else said something?"

"No," Revan answered a little too quickly. "So…you, me, a huge room with a lot of Kolto tanks for whatever reason…we should probably get to the fighting."

"Yes, I am looking forward to the chance to not only once and for all silence all the critics as I prove myself to be the true Dark Lord of the Sith but also to show the Jedi that giving you brain damage and then sending you after me won't be enough to stop me!"

"I don't actually have any brain damage," Revan corrected him.

Malak snorted. "Please, Revan. No one as…special as you can possibly be fully functional."

"Well…the Jedi didn't give me any new brain damage then," Revan amended. "Not that I agree that I do have brain damage, I just-"

"Can't be bothered to argue, I know," Malak cut him off. "Now…let us finish this!"

That was agreeable to Revan and the pair began to fight. Revan made sure to keep almost his complete attention on the battle to make sure that Malak didn't cheat again (for all that he was complaining about Revan's supposed brain damage, that crate might very well have given him some for all Malak seemed to care). Of course, the minute that it looked like Malak was wearing down, he stopped and simply ran to another part of the room.

Taken aback, Revan let him. "Um…what are you doing?"

"Do you see all of the Kolto tanks that are lining this room?" Malak asked, clearly in the mood for some grandstanding.

"You mean am I blind? No, no I am not," Revan answered.

"Not everyone died in the attack on Dantooine you know," Malak said ominously.

"Oh, I know," Revan responded. "Master Vandar is helping to coordinate this attack and he said that Master Vrook survived as well! Isn't that great?"

"I get why you think so but given that I'm a _Sith_ can you see why I might not share that viewpoint?" Malak countered.

Revan shook his head. "Not really. Vrook's awesomeness transcends alignment."

Malak gave a long-suffering sigh. "Right. Anyway, as I was saying: not everyone died and not everyone escaped, either. I've captured some and if you'll look closely you can see that the people in the Kolto tank are all the friends you had at the Academy there!"

Revan peered closely at the Kolto tank closest to him. "Hm…now that you mention it, you're right. Of course, I never actually liked any of the students. They were too annoying and kept lecturing me about my un-Jedi-like attitude, wardrobe, lightsaber, diet…pretty much everything, really."

Malak supposed that he really should have known. "Well, aren't you at least a little curious about why I've put them all in Kolto tanks and why I'm bringing this up now?"

"Not really, no," Revan declined politely. "But I'm sure you're about to tell me anyway."

"These people are trapped here and I'm going to suck out their life-force to heal myself in battle! Aren't I despicable?" Malak asked, laughing maniacally.

Revan was reasonably sure that that was a rhetorical question but he decided to answer it anyway. "I don't really care. You don't appear to be torturing these people and I'm not even sure that they're conscious."

"But if I use them to heal myself then they will never be able to become one with the Force!" Malak insisted.

"You don't know that," Revan pointed out. "You're just assuming that. Until you yourself have become one with the Force and then come back then you have no way of knowing if what you are doing is stopping someone else from doing that. In fact, I don't think that anyone has ever become one with the Force and then come back so it's not like we could even ask somebody. And if we could, we wouldn't even know if they were being trustworthy or not. Not to mention that-"

"For the love of the Force, Revan!" Malak yelled. "Why must you always make things so bloody complicated?"

"Sorry," Revan said half-heartedly. "Do go on."

"I was actually pretty much done," Malak admitted. "Well, except for a demonstration." He threw out an arm and the nearest Kolto tank exploded as Malak was rejuvenated by the now-dead Jedi's life force.

Revan looked annoyed. "Are you really going to do that whenever I'm right about to beat you?"

"Until all of those tanks are gone, absolutely," Malak confirmed.

"Then I'm sorry but you leave me no choice," Revan said solemnly. Before Malak could say anything else, he had thrown both hands out and used Force Lightning to destroy each and every Kolto tank in the room.

"…I kind of hate you," Malak said once he found his voice.

"After all the effort you've put into trying to kill me, I had suspected as much," Revan said with a small smirk playing at his lips.

Enraged, Malak swung his lightsaber at Revan's head. This fight was easier than the previous one in some respects and harder than others. On the one hand, Malak was too angry to think properly and so was making some stupid mistakes. On the other, all that adrenaline and rage meant that Malak was coming at Revan at least twice as hard as he was before.

Eventually, however, Revan was able to take advantage of one of Malak's mistakes and drove his lightsaber through his chest.

"I…didn't see that one…coming," Malak managed to say as he sunk to the floor.

Revan looked at the damaged body of his former best friend and winced. "Not to be insensitive or anything, Malak, because I'm pretty sure that you're dying but…would it be asking too much if I could get that lightsaber back? It's probably my finest work by this point."

Malak waved his hand tiredly. "By all means."

"Thanks," Revan said gratefully. He didn't actually want to get any closer to Malak, however, so he waved his hand and the lightsaber unstuck itself and went flying back into Revan's hand. "That's what I like about lightsaber; I don't have to wipe the bloodstains off of them since there never are any."

"Yes, lightsabers are…pretty great," Malak agreed. "Hey Revan?"

"Yeah?" Revan asked, figuring that he might as well humor Malak since he was about to die even if the Star Forge was beginning to shake. The Force would take care of him.

"Do you think that if…I had been captured by the Jedi that…I would have been able to…return to the Light…like you did?" Malak gasped out.

Revan was torn between being honest and being diplomatic. "Honestly, Malak? I kind of doubt it. You were the one who actually wanted all of this, I really couldn't care less. Maybe if they succeeded in mind-raping you like they tried to do to me but had you remembered you wouldn't have even given them a chance. It's not so much that I 'returned to the Light' or even fell properly in the first place. I just…didn't really care and went along with it."

Malak managed a weak chuckle. "Don't ever change, Revan."

"Oh, I have no intention of doing so," Revan promised. "That really sounds like a lot of work after all."

"There you are!" Carth said, annoyed, as Revan finally made his way to the cockpit. "What took you so long? We were about to leave without you!"

"Can you save the lecture for another time?" Revan requested. "We really do need to get out of here."

"Fine," Carth grumbled. "But I've had a long time to think of what I wanted to say to you. When Bastila came back, you know, we almost attacked her! Thanks for warning us about that, by the way."

"What was I supposed to do, Carth?" Revan demanded. "I was a little busy killing my former best friend. Speaking of, as strange as this is, I think you might actually be my new best friend. You certainly nag me as much as Malak does but you've yet to try to kill me so…"

Carth's eyes widened. "Really? Best friends with the ex-Dark Lord of the Sith…that is really not how I expected my year to go."

Revan shrugged. "Me either, but what can you do?"

"Hold on, I'm getting hailed by Admiral Dodonna," Carth said, patching them in.

"Look, I was just trying to be dramatic," Vandar insisted.

"That's all very well and good but even if all of them _did_ die, that's no reason to act like the cost of destroying the Star Forge and ending this war was too high and implying that it might not have even been worth it," Dodonna argued.

"You know, your concern is touching but we're not actually dead…" Revan felt the need to point out.

Naturally, the Republic insisted on having an awards ceremony broadcasted all over the Holonet. They couldn't even wait until they got back to Republic space and so they were making them do it on the Rakata home world (to the mild annoyance of the Elders but since the Star Forge had been destroyed they were in a forgiving mood). Revan didn't even want to be there, of course, but he supposed just standing around wouldn't really be all that bad. He didn't even have to pay any attention as long as he half-listened for his name.

"…the redemption of Revan, the prodigal knight!" Vandar finally concluded, gesturing to Revan.

"I'm really not sure that you can count me as 'redeemed'," Revan whispered to Bastila.

"Well, the secret is out and they have to tell people _something_," Bastila replied quietly. "Otherwise, you know they'll just panic and think of how annoying that would be."

"I guess you're right," Revan conceded, suppressing a yawn.

Once they were free to get off the state, Vandar pulled Revan aside. "I must say, Revan, that I hadn't expected you to remember who you are but I'm glad that, even so, you still stuck with us and helped us defeat Malak."

"It had to be done," Revan said absently. "You guys are done with me, right? And I can just leave and go take a nap or something?"

"For the rest of the day, yes," Vandar confirmed. "But long term…not a chance. We still need to use you to boost the reputation of the Jedi given that already people are beginning to call this a Jedi Civil War and our numbers are way down. Here's what I was thinking…"

Revan immediately began plotting his escape.

It's the End so Review Please!


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